Spoiler- well not involving the case of the episode but involving Amanda's life- for 'Friending Emily'. My Rolivia feels took over my hands :) Some comfort sex could do us all well :)
Disclaimer: I do not own the SVU characters or show.
She was expecting that slam of her bedroom door with her sister angrily behind it. She even expected, though it wasn't exactly flattering, the spiral of vehement cursing and the reminder of how her life became a living hell when Amanda left Atlanta, but the detective didn't expect to see a small duffle and a scowl accompanied with her sister ten minutes later.
"Where are you goin'?" The detective growled, still heated with the adrenaline of the case and that asshole ex on her mind.
"I don't need to answer to you," goes her little sister's sharp reply.
"If you really think I'm gonna let you shack up with that no good asshole, then you must really be out of your mind."She's infuriated with Jeff and frustrated with Kim that she lost objectivity in her words and neglected how the connotation can be depicted.
And by the looks of the younger blonde's expression, she didn't take it in its literal context.
She sighed, "Kim, you know I didn't mean it like that."
"I'm not one of your victims that need lurkin'! I didn't want a detective. I wanted my sister, but you can't break out of the role. You always have to boss people around-"
"I'm trying to protect you from doing something stupid."
"Everything I do to you is stupid."
Around Kim she had to keep her anger in check so she could be impartial about the decisions she made, but Kim's countless taunting and guilt-jabs has gotten on her nerves today. Especially recalling the day's events that had everything to do with the trouble maker, she snapped. "Well coming to my job unannounced, doing lines in my kitchen with some thug you just met, and bringing an abusive prick into my apartment, ain't exactly your best ideas."
"And to think that I was escapin' Mama comin' here to see you," she snorted out contemptuously, hurt in her eyes. "But you are exactly like her." The young girl made her way out of the kitchen, padding angrily to the door with Amanda trailing behind.
"Look just...call me tomorrow-"
"So you could track me?" she growled, now by the door, her back toward the detective.
That's exactly what she was going to do the second she hit the precinct tomorrow morning, but Kim didn't need to know that. "So I could sleep at night knowin' my kid sister is safe."
As painful it was to see her go, there was no stopping her when she got this defiant. When Kim had her mind set on something, it's impossible to break. Unfortunately Jeff knew that as well and sought to take full advantage of that.
As she walked back into her living room, a mixed of strong scents hit her in ways that made her sick to her stomach. Maybe she couldn't smell it before because her adrenaline focused on protecting her sister, but now that she's alone she could smell the acrid bear, sweat, and sex and it began to engulf her a bit. She wasn't naive; her kid sister was an adult and she surely knew Kim's fluid sex life, but it still made her sick personally watching it. And it made her sick knowing who she was sleeping with on her couch.
She had to get out of there,
What are you doing? She shouldn't even be here. Hell she didn't even plan on it but she found herself in front of the apartment door, debating to knock on it.
She's probably sleeping. Despite her conscience she finally knocked on the door, sighing at her selfishness. She said she was sleepy. As guilty as she was, she couldn't find herself to walk away. She had nowhere else to go.
A few shuffles of the feet and a couple lock-turns later, the door opened with Olivia behind it. Amanda expected sweatpants or a big tee shirt, expression irritated from being forcibly taken from her much needed slumber, but she's surprised with the older woman sporting a dark gray robe. The tight pony tail that held soft curls now fell and framed her face, illuminating her tanned skin. The hem of the robe hit just in the middle of thighs, exposing shapely legs and bare feet.
The blonde swallowed hard as she blinked away the strong gaze on Olivia's body and focused on the concerned face. And to think at one point Amanda really wanted to interact with Olivia outside of work. But now looking at the veteran's attire, she felt suffocated in her own. Looking at her like this felt intruding and displacing, and it only gotten worse when she peeked behind her body and noticed a half-empty wine glass and a lit candle on the coffee table.
"I'm really sorry," she blurted out, throat heavy. "I-I didn't mean to interrupt..."
Olivia turned to follow her eyes and returned with a small smile and shake of the head. "No, it's not like that. When a case goes well, especially with children, sometimes I just pour myself a glass of wine and appreciate the hard work we accomplished. It eases my mind a little. I could..shut down and pretend that we won't have something just as horrific tomorrow. Just focus on the now and the good we've done for one family and the many that we've saved putting a pedophile in jail."
Amanda nodded at that, ending with an uneasy smile. She didn't think of Olivia unwinding the horrors and gray they see at their jobs. She struck her as the woman who bottled that hatred and filth all inside, reminding herself why she's at Special victims in the first place. Numbing any sort of bliss left within herself because it's being taken away from another woman or child. This was the intimate side of Olivia that was hidden to Amanda at work, and it reminded her that she's here and not at the precinct.
"Oh..well, I should let you get back to that...I'm sorry for disturbin'"
Olivia didn't say anything but just opened the door wider with the gesture to Amanda to walk in. The blonde gave in and walked inside, making her way to the living room couch when Olivia politely gave her the okay.
"Would you like some wine as well?" Olivia asked from the kitchen.
She could use something stronger, but she won't be rude. "Sure, thanks."
"Red or white?"
Vodka. "Red, please."
Moments later Olivia returned with a glass filled with wine in one hand, and the bottle itself with the other, and took a seat beside the blonde. "So I'm taking the quiet evening with your sister turned out to be something you didn't expect." She handed the glass to Amanda.
"Nothin' quiet about it," she sighed, taking a sip of the drink. "But I handled it wrong. She doesn't know better but I do."
"What happened?"
"I uh, caught her and and an old boyfriend on my couch. This guy is scum." The words came off as bitter as the alcohol she's drinking. "He makes these promises to my sister and she believes him every time. That he'll change but...you and I both know that'll never happen."
With that knowing nod, Olivia seemed to understand the kind of man the boyfriend is. "He followed her from Atlanta?"
"Kim apparently invited him up here. I guess while I was on the case he was on the first flight here. I can't blame her. She doesn't know anyone in the city and I'm always so damn busy, of course she would call Jeff."
"She called Jeff because she's unfortunately a victim, not because of you."
"I'm the only person that understands her and I'm not around-"
"Because you were busy helping getting a serial pedophile off the streets, stopping him from hurting hundreds of young girls," she softly prompted.
Amanda looked up at the veteran and bit her lip when soft brown eyes stayed on her. Perhaps this was what had victims spilling their most horrific memories to this woman. Those eyes, sharp with understanding and attention yet soft with compassion and security. It had the same effect on Rollins as well. "I pulled a gun out on him." She wanted to snap her eyes away from the older detective's, but they stayed on to search for judgment or disapproval.
She didn't catch any.
"I just...I just snapped. I kept thinkin' of that smug smile back home...her face bloody." Thinking of the too-potent memories of her sister, bruised in the hospital because of that bastard, had her palm clenching the bowl of the wine glass, borderline shattering. It's when she felt warm fingers trace her own, shocking her momentarily, was when she realized that she's in New York and not in Georgia. She let Olivia take the empty wine glass from her and set it on the table beside the candle. "I know she's with him now. Probably at some cheap motel finishing off what they started at my apartment. I didn't know how to handle it as a kid but I'm a cop now. I should know."
"As painful as it is...she's an adult and it's her choice to stay with Jeff. As much as you want to shelter and protect her, in the end it's up to her to decide what she wants. And you can't put that choice on you. You can only convince her how bad he is and continue to love her."
As soft and securing Olivia's words were, her conscience still ate at her. Olivia must've sensed it.
"You're a competent detective and a loyal and caring sister, but you still need to look out for Amanda." To the blonde's surprise those fingers return to her own, softly stroking the knuckles. Feeling the light touch reminded Amanda how Olivia was dressed, how intimate this setting was, how painful it was to love it. There's no question that Amanda found Olivia attractive, but luckily for her heart the older woman ostracized herself for Amanda to only admire her from afar. But now Olivia's being open, gentle to her, supporting her during her time of need and it felt...wonderful.
"Olivia I just...I'm tryin'. I'm tryin' to do everythin' in my power to help her but sometimes I feel like a mother, and I'm tired. And that's completely selfish of me because she can't help what she's goin' through but if I'm not here, then she'll have Jeff and I can't-"
"Ssh," Olivia softly prompted, surprising placing a tanned index finger against her opened mouth. The blonde stiffened, trying to ignore the heat on her lips and the temptation of slipping it in her mouth. "Sometimes you have to reevaluate yourself before helping others. You have to take time to get to know you and what you like." That finger began to slowly trace Rollins' upper lip and she knew Olivia felt her shuddering breath ghosting it. "You're not selfish; you're human, and you could only take so much without burning out."
Amanda's trying to listen to her words but she's too distracted by that finger trailing to her lower lip until it finally dipped in her mouth. She didn't understand what was going on and it terrified her what could come to their barely-there friendship in the morning, but she couldn't stop her tongue from swiping the pad, sucking lightly.
Her stomach clenched, a stirring pressure formed between her legs, at the unwavering gaze the brunette cast upon her. Somehow she was able to detect the intensity in those eyes despite how close-lidded they became.
Olivia leaned in, lips daringly close yet achingly far, and whispered so low that Amanda could barely understand despite their lack of distance, "You need to be selfish. Let someone take care of you for a change."
Without any guard Olivia's finger is replaced with her lips, taking Amanda by surprise but she took the much needed connection. The sudden shock is quickly null with the building pleasure churning between her thighs. Naturally Amanda deepened the kiss, probing her tongue, widening the old woman's mouth. They both gasp for air, but Olivia didn't seem to be through with...whatever this was. "Let me be that for you," she husked, peppering kisses around the southerner's mouth, trailing down to her jaw with the same attention. "Let me take care of you..."
Hearing that voice, that deep raspy toned hushed with unsuppressed passion and lust made Amanda groan. Olivia lifted her legs to the couch, pressing her knees into the cushion as she straddled a surprise but very satisfied blonde.
She lost all control there, feeling that weight on her lap, how she needed that heat all over. Her hand went for brown curls, fisting the mane as she pulled Olivia into another draining kiss. She's not sure whether the brunette made a chuckle at her desperation or a shaky groan of pleasure, but all Amanda knew it was the sexiest sound she ever heard and she planned on making the brunette repeat that noise with volume.
"Liv..." she groaned, fluttering her eyes shut at the sly hand that cupped her breast.
"Hmm?" the older woman hummed distantly, paying more attention to her neck.
"Why are you— oh" that playful bite at her pulse point caught her off guard. "why are you d-doing this?" When the kissing assault on her neck stopped, it gave Amanda time to take a deep breath.
Olivia peeked from her neck with a small frown. "Do you want me to stop?"
"Lord no!" she quickly answered, grabbing Olivia's hips, her excitement making the brunette smirk. Her own desperation made her grin. "No, no it's just that...well we never really done anythin' outside of work.." She can't stop her hands from caressing Olivia's thighs, just to make sure this was real and not some odd dream. "I just figured you wanted only a professional relationship."
Olivia heaved a sigh and it made Amanda wonder if she blew it? Did she pull Benson out of the small trance she was magically in by probing her with questions? But her worrying deadened when that small smile returned and the older detective wrapped her hands around her neck. "Amanda I know what it's like to put others before you. I know what it feels to have that constant weight on your shoulders. Well I'm telling you that it doesn't go away if you keep doing it. Eventually it will creep up and tear at you limb from limb, and you'll need to do more to feel important, to feel good enough. Yes it's nice to help that person but...you'll burn out. You...you don't deserve that." Her fingers found the blonde's jaw, absentmindedly stroking it as she continued to speak softly. "I want to show you that it's okay to kick your feet up and be taken care of once and a while." That index finger trailed to her neck, until it stopped to hook the collar of her button-up. "And it's okay to have that moment of hedonism for yourself. Now Amanda," the brunette returned to the blonde's neck, softly nibbling and kissing on the moist flesh.
The lust dripping from that sultry voice had Amanda gulping for air. "Yes?"
"This could go either way. I could do anything you like. I could pleasure you with my tongue...my fingers... a toy." The veteran softly, subtly rotated her hips as if her voice wasn't torture enough to have Amanda come right there. "Or-"
"Or?" Amanda couldn't help echoing, letting her hands roam the silk of the detective's robe, trying to speak over the hammering of her heartbeat.
"Or, you could take what you want. If that's something that brings you pleasure."
A soft moan escaped the blonde's lips, an embarrassing squeak that's uncharacteristic and unfamiliar to her. Olivia just nonchalantly threw all of these ideas on the table and Amanda was too caught up in her hormones to pick a decision. It's a given that anyone with a pulse would kill to get fucked by Olivia Benson. But on the flip side the thought of Olivia with her walls tore down, her vulnerability candid when Amanda stroke her to oblivion had that thump between her legs flutter with a rapid speed. She could have her any way she liked, hard and ferocious to the point of Olivia writhing under her touch, screaming out obscenities as her fingers slammed in her. Or she could be tentative and thorough, taking her time to draw out multiple orgasms as she canvassed that sick body.
Oh what should she choose?
So should I like continue? Let me know what you think in a review, por favor. :)