Maybe Brainiac's Aren't All That Bad – Chapter 1
Claire-
"I can't believe you can't get me out of this. I mean, it's so absurd that I have to be here on a Saturday! It's not like I'm a defective or anything..."
"I'll make it up to you. Honey, ditching class to go shopping doesn't make you a defective. Have a good day."
Brian-
"Is this the first time or the last time we do this?"
"Last..."
"Well, get in there and use the time to your advantage."
"Mom, we're not supposed to study; we just have to sit there and do nothing."
"Well, mister, you figure out a way to study."
"Yeah!"
"Well, go!"
Andrew-
"Hey, I screwed around... guys screw around, there's nothing wrong with that. Except you got caught, Sport."
"Yeah, Mom already reamed me, alright?"
"You wanna miss a match? You wanna blow your ride? Now, no school's gonna give a scholarship to a discipline case."
Erin-
"This just isn't like you, Erin... Is it me? Have I been coming home too late? Because if that's the case I can talk to my boss and-"
"No, Dad." Erin turned and looked at her father. He was a wiry man of 42 with black hair sprinkled with gray around his ears and the back of his neck. Erin smiled up at him. He was a hard working man who already had enough on his mind. He didn't need Erin to add to it. "I'm fine. I know you're working hard to take care of mom so, keep doing that. This is a one time thing. I promise."
Erin's father smiled down at his daughter. He knew she was telling the truth and was happy she understood why he was working so late. "All right, sweetie. Don't spend all your time in there studying either. I know you're working hard for that scholarship but at least find a book and take a break, yeah?" Erin shrugged. Her father pulled her into a hug and kissed her head through her hair. "Bye, Sweetie."
"Bye, Dad." Erin shouldered her backpack and stepped out of the green car. She shut the door and as a gust of the fall wind blew by she rubbed her arms. It was pretty cold out and even though Erin was wearing a parka she could still feel the chill air as it pressed in all around her. She jumped a little at the screech of tires and turned around to see none other than John Bender walking past a black car that had just nearly avoided running him over. Erin's glasses fogged up as her cheeks and forehead grew warm. She whipped around and began speed walking up the steps of the school so Bender couldn't see her blush.
Erin walked into the Library to find two out of the six tables already filled. She stopped at the Library's checkout table and hesitated to sit as she scanned the area.
The Prom Queen herself (much to Erin's shock) is sitting at the front table on Erin's left. Andrew, The Star of the Wrestling team, is sitting in the chair next to her (less to Erin's shock). Brian, the Nerd of the school, other than Erin, is sitting at the table behind them. Erin stepped forward to choose her seat but stopped with a tiny gasp as John Bender walked by her. Touching everything on the checkout table and then taking something.
"You know, you really shouldn't-"
Bender whipped around. He pointed at her as he continued walking backward and only said, "Nerd." Erin's mouth clamped shut and Bender whipped back around. Erin fumed but kept her eyes on the Criminal as he walked up to Brian and pointed to the table opposite them. Brian gathered up his stuff and moved over to the table Bender had been pointing at.
A breeze flew by Erin and she stopped short again as a black blur whizzed past her and sat down in the way back seat on Erin's right, just behind Brian.
Erin's face burned as she realized everyone was staring at her. She bent her head, pushed her glasses up on her nose, and shuffled to the front seat opposite Andrew and Claire.
A few seconds later Principle Vernon entered holding a stack of papers and a bundle of pencils in one hand. "Well, well... Here we are. I want to congratulate you for being here on time-"
"Excuse me, sir?" Erin turned her attention from Mr. Vernon to Claire. "I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention, but... um... I don't think I belong in here."
Mr. Vernon eyed her a moment before raising his wrist to his eye level to check his watch. "It is now seven-oh-six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways..."
Erin's head snapped to the left as she heard someone spit. Of course it had been Bender, hocking a loogie into the air and then catching it again in his mouth once it came back down. (I actually gagged while writing that.)
"...and you may not talk." Vernon pointed at Claire. "You will not study." Vernon pointed at Erin and her happiness plummeted. A whole eight hours to study for the upcoming finals? She must have been in heaven! Turns out she was really only in hell. "You will not move from these seats." Vernon pointed at Brian and he sat back in his original spot. Erin watched closely as Vernon pointed and began walking over to Bender. "...and you..." Vernon pulled out the chair Bender was using as a foot rest from under his feet. "Will not sleep." Vernon looked around a moment. "Alright people, we're gonna try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay, of no less than a thousand words, describing to me who you think you are."
"Is this a test?" Bender asked.
Vernon passed around paper and pencils and ignored Benders question. "And when I say essay, I mean essay. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear, Mr. Bender?"
Erin snuck a glance over at John as he picked at his jacket, not looking at Mr. Vernon. "Crystal..." He sounded bored. His eyes flicked up to meet Erin's. She gasped and focused on Mr. Vernon's words.
"Good. Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourself. Maybe you'll even decide whether or not you care to return."
Erin and Brian both raised their hands and stood in unison. Unaware that either of them were doing the same thing until they each started talking.
"You know, I can answer..."
"Mr. Vernon, sir, I can tell you..."
Erin turned around and gave Brian a wide-eyed look. Brian could only stare back.
"Sit down, Johnson. You too, Harley."
Erin blushed at the use of her last name and sat.
"Thank you, sir..." Brian mumbled as he sat down.
"My office is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised. Any questions?"
Erin shook her head quickly while Bender spoke up. "Yeah, I got a question." A beat. Erin turned to watch him. "Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?" Erin had to clamp her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggle.
Vernon glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and because he was embarrassed answered John, "I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns."
Vernon turned around and left. His leather shoes squeaking as he went.
"That man... is a brownie-hound.
Erin turned to face Bender. "Brownie-hound?" Erin asked, much to her own surprise that she was able to utter even one word to the boy she'd had a crush on since Sophomore year.
"Jeez, Nerd. Do you know anything other than Chemistry and Mathematics?" Bender asked.
Erin's face went red with anger and embarrassment and she whipped back around to face forward. Much to her disdain she heard Bender's deep-throated chuckles and Erin's heart tugged.
Suddenly a loud cracking sound filled the room. Everyone turned to the source to find Allison biting away at her fingernails. Erin had honestly forgotten she was there at all because she had been so quiet.
"You keep eating your hand and you're not gonna be hungry for lunch..." Allison leaned toward Bender and spit her nail bits at him. "I've seen you before, you know..." John pointed at Allison, ignoring her previous action.
Erin turned around and saw Vernon poking his head to look into the Library from his office. She immediately wrote down the required format to begin writing her paper. Once that was finished she paused, not really knowing how to continue.
As if voicing her own thoughts aloud she heard Brian mumbling to himself behind her, "Who do I think I am? Who are you? Who are you?... I am a walrus." Erin smiled to herself. She couldn't lie and say that she had not at one point had a crush on Brian Johnson during Junior year. He had his moments of cuteness and this just happened to be one of them. She turned around and saw him with his pen in his mouth. The top part going up his nose slightly. She giggled a bit and his eyes went wide once the both of theirs met. She glanced over at John Bender and Brian tilted his head a bit. Erin turned around.
A nervous laugh. A pause. Some ruffling. A sound like a puff of air into cupped hands. Another pause.
"It's the shits, huh?" Another nervous laugh.
Erin once again tried to think of what to write for her paper but stopped when she heard a crumpling sound. She turned her head a bit and watched as a balled up piece of paper flew between Claire and Andrew. The two glanced at each other but didn't say a word. Erin knew it had come from Bender (who else would it have been really?) and listened as he began singing the guitar part of a song.
"I can't believe this is really happening to me..." Claire sighed dramatically and Erin was confused. It's only an eight hour detention. What was so bad-
"Oh, shit!" Erin's head snapped at the use of vulgar language. "What're we supposed to do if we have to take a piss?"
"Um..." Erin started, wanting to give an answer to her crush.
"Please..." Claire rolled her eyes in disgust.
Bender shrugged and put his chest to the tables edge. "If you gotta go..." Bender unzipped his fly. "You gotta go."
Claire whipped back around, not wanting to see anything. "Oh, my god!"
"Hey, you're not urinating in here, man!" Andrew Clark shouted at the Criminal behind him. This was the first thing he'd said all day and Erin was surprised that he already sounded so angry.
"Don't talk! Don't talk, it makes it crawl back up."
"You whip it out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor."
"Ooo, you're pretty sexy when you get angry... grr! Hey, homeboy..." Erin turned to see John was talking to Brian. "Why don't you go close that door. We'll get the Prom Queen impregnated... Maybe even the little mousy, Brainie girl over there, too." Erin's eyes widened at John Benders smirking face. He licked his lips and blew a kiss at her.
"Hey!" Andrew shouted but Bender ignored him. Still staring and smirking at a fuming Erin who was flattered, flustered, angry and baffled all at the same time. "Hey!" Andrew yelled again.
Bender broke his gaze from Erin and looked to Andrew. "What?"
"If I lose my temper, you're totaled man!"
"Totally?" Bender asked, his tone of voice changing.
"Totally."
"Why don't you just shut up! Nobody here is interested." Claire told John.
John rolled his head over to look at Erin. "Are you interested, Brainie?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm interested in writing my paper." Erin desperately groaned.
"Really!" Andrew sighed, then mumbled. "Buttface."
John snapped his head to Andrew. "Well, hey, Sporto! What'd you do to get in here? Forget to wash your jock?"
"Uh, excuse me, fellas, I think we should just write our papers." Brian cut in.
"Look, just because you live in here doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the ass. So, knock it off!" Andrew yelled.
Erin winced. This was getting uglier by the second.
John grunted and thought a moment. Nodding he reminded Andrew, "It's a free country."
Erin really only wanted to write her paper and get to studying. She also didn't want this confrontation to continue farther. "Um, hey, he's just trying to get you angry. Maybe it'd be best to just ignore him...?" Erin was hesitant to speak to Andrew. She was afraid he'd start yelling at her. He only nodded and looked down at his paper.
"Darling?" Erin turned, wondering who John was talking to and nearly fell out of her chair when she found he was staring at her. "You couldn't ignore me if you tried." His smirk was heartbreakingly handsome.
He was right but Erin refused to let him know that. Her body betrayed her mind of course as her face flushed. She whipped back around to face forward.
"So..." Erin bent low over her paper at the sound of John's voice. "So! Are you guys like boyfriend/girlfriend?" Erin assumed John was talking about Andrew and Claire and decided not to butt in. Though she could feel the tension building. "Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, Sporto. Level with me. Do you slip her the hot-beef injection?"
"GO TO HELL!"
"ENOUGH!"
Bender only chuckled, satisfied he'd made them angry.
"Hey! What's going on in there!" Erin panicked at the sound of Vernon's voice and wondered if he was going to come check on them.
After a minute of silence Erin was satisfied Vernon wasn't coming. "You guys, I really think we should focus on the assignment at hand..." She looked around at everyone and her eyes finally landed on John. He smirked at her and slowly stood.
All I want to do is study...