Warning- This contains strong language and scenes of incest and child abuse.
Disclaimer- All Saiyuki characters are not my property, but that of Kazuya Minekura. I own nothing.
AN- I have tried to stay as true to the manga possible, but because the manga doesn't give any age difference between Jien and Goyjo, I am going to guess about 10-13 years or so. Also in the manga Goyjo's mother or father are not given names, but to make it a hell of a lot easier for me, I have just picked one for them both. They have come from the top of my head, but I believe Sumire means violet.
This is the third revision of chapter 1, I just can't seem to stop coming back to this one.
Enjoy.
Chapter 1
Long, blond curls tumbled over her face as her head smashed into the table with a dull thud. Her eyelids gave a frantic flicker, her thick, heavy eyelashes sticking to the great smears of mascara dripping steadily down her cheeks; the table rocked with the force, but no pain registered. She was numb and well beyond sensory discomfort.
The rain hammered onto the window pane in short, violent bursts; loud and unpredictable like the rattling of gun fire, but the fierce summer humidity rendered the air sticky and uncomfortable. The weather was unremitting and glistening beads of sweat pealed down her chest, soaking into the lopsided straps of her vest as they hung limply off her slumped shoulders.
She ran a long, slender finger down the length of her glass, her sharp, youkai fingernails making swirling patterns in the condensation formed by sticky breath. A cigarette lay abandoned in the ashtray by her arm; lit, then forgotten and now slowing burning to ash as she sat dumb and captivated behind thick curtains of smoke.
She shifted uncomfortably in her chair and very slowly, lifted her head, her neck painfully stiff from hours fixed in the same position. With unsteady hands, she reached out for the bottle before her once more, but her hands shook and as soon as her fingertips brushed the cool glass surface, it toppled over the edge of the table. It shattered onto the floor with a resounding smash, but it too was soon forgotten.
She shifted her weight again, now unable to find a position to rest her head. It weighed a thousand tonnes and it seemed every muscle in her body was intent on disobeying her. Her stomach clenched tightly, painful and sudden, and she sat erect as the shockwave rolled through her belly and up her spine. The unexpected movement was just too much for her gut to hold. The kitchen blurred and swam, the floor met the ceiling and the kitchen swooned and melted under the unrelenting heat. Her world span and her head pushed back down to the table, it was her axis and gravity took hold. A wave of nausea rolled up her throat and with an ugly wretch she smelt the hot acidic stench dripping down her chin, caught up in her throat so tight, it seemed as if a flame was held below it, prodding and singeing her skin.
"Mom? Mom? Oh shit."
Her eyelids fluttered open to the sound of gently clinking bottles and the sharp wooden scraping of a chair being dragged across the floor.
"Hey! Are you alright? Mom, look at me, are you okay?"
She buried her face deeper into her arms and covered her ears tight with her hands, shying away from the harsh voice. It was fingernails across a chalk board to her sensitive, youkai ears
"Mom, are you awake?"
The voice was softer now, filled with concern and familiarity.
"Ji..Jien?" She reluctantly lifted her head to acknowledge her son, but she peered up at him with the vacant gaze of a drunk and nothing registered in her glassy brown eyes.
"Mom can you hear me? Oh God, how long have you been like this?
Without warning, she felt herself being scooped up into a pair of strong muscled arms and like a new born baby, instinctively cuddled up to his chest. She stared up at him weakly and attempted a smile as she ran her fingers up down his body, playfully burying her head into the soft fabric of his shirt. He smiled back down at her, his deep chestnut eyes full of concern and patience. This scene, it seemed so very familiar.
"Oh, Jien, I lov..." She began before promptly throwing up all over herself and he rescuer.
She landed on the bed with a soft thud and squirmed deep under the covers, pulling the sheets over her head, her eyes peeking playfully over the edges. Her slender form was completely engulfed by the lumpy mattress, devoured by it's grimy stained jaws she curled up into the duvet. Then, like a child, reached up helplessly for her carer.
With unwavering patience, Jien leant down and, with a damp cloth, wiped his mothers face and neck. With surprising quickness, her hand darted from under the covers and grasped a tight hold of his wrist, squeezing hard and pulling his body to her own.
"Oh Jien, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" She whispered and firmly brought his hand down to her chest, "Please, won't you…just?"
"No, Mom, I can't I..." He tried to pull away, blushing madly, but she clung to him like a vice.
"Please, Jien. You're the only one I love. You're all I have."
She forcefully pulled him into a kiss, which he reluctantly surrendered to. She tasted of smoke and liquor, take-away and her own vomit. He pitied her.
"Please, Jien, I need you."
She reached up to undress him, to peel his greying shirt from his body. She guided her sluggish hands round his shoulders, slowly and as sensually as she could muster before flattening her palms against his chest, her nails digging provocatively into his flesh. Then so very slowly her sharp fingernails worked down across his stomach, round the gentle curves of his hips to open the button of his jeans.
"No, Mom. I can't do this, I have to go. I have to go now." He lied, pulling away from her desperate embrace and in one swift movement yanking his shirt back over his chest. He backed towards the door, trembling fingers fumbling with the buttons of his jeans.
Tears welled in his mothers eyes as she released her hold, letting her arms fall limply back by her sides, disappointment leaking out of every pour. She lay there still for a short while, tension thick in the air between herself and her son as she looked up at him accusingly.
"Why?" She began, her voice faltering as her throat tightened in sorrow. "Why don't you love me Jien?"
Her voice was barely more than as whisper as she turned onto her side, her soft voice becoming muffled by towering pillows. Her tears pattered onto the linen as Jien hurried out of the room.
Closing the door as silently as he was able, Jien wiped the remains of his mothers lipstick off his face and tirelessly began the long but necessary task of cleaning up after her binge. The kitchen was in ruins and the sickly sweet stench of vomit and alcohol clung to the furniture and hung thick in the air. Not entirely unaffected by his mothers reaction, the work took his mind off his own thoughts, he was almost grateful for it. It took almost an hour. No-one would thank him, his mother would probably not recall the evening at all, but he guessed that was not necessarily a bad thing.
Sometime later, he retired to his and his half brothers room, feeling blindly along the wall in the semi-dark, as to not awake Goyjo.
His back objecting loudly as he lowered himself onto the bed, he sighed and ran a hand through his short, dark hair. He cast a look to the sleeping form of his half brother, his long, skinny limbs sprawled out over the top of the blankets. His chest rose and fell softly in a deep and natural sleep, innocent of the occurrences of the evening.
His conviction was not strong and even now he was not sure whether he had done the right thing. The look on his mothers face as he had escaped her grasp, had broken his heart. She had begged for him and again he had refused her. In the morning she would be hung over and angry; he knew it would be Goyjo that would pay the next morning for his reluctance.
He sank into his pillow and attempted to sleep, the taste of her still clinging to his lips.