As Lovers Go

#And our trails go unmarked, and unmapped,

and covered just as soon as they are crossed#-

- - Several ways to die trying, Dashboard Confessional.

I sometimes stop and wonder; how did things end up this way?

How did we manage to end up down these roads, driving these wagons at such a speed?

I'm not even sure I was aware when we took the turnings down different pathways.

I don't know what happened to us to change us both so much throughout the years, but I'm sure if we stopped to think, we would find the answers. At least, I hope we would, because you know me, and what I'm like: there always has to be a logical explanation behind everything.

I can just imagine you laughing, thinking about all the times I complained we should be studying, half of me wanting to find arithmancy answers, while the other half of me (the side which, to your delight, usually won over) wanting to give in to your seductive words. My, my, how often we claimed to be studying to our friends when really we were sneaking into your Head Boy dormitory and experimenting with our bodies. It may not have been conventionally studying, but we were still learning. I think that the lessons we teach ourselves, often turn out to be the most important in life.

Who'd have thought it though? That we'd end up like this?

I'm not sorry though.

I want you to know that; I will never regret a moment that we spent together, because in the end, it all helped us grow. It prepared us for the real world. After all, Hogwarts was, more than anything, a chance for us to grow; to learn; become who we needed to be; to find out what was important to us.

And I did. Thanks to you.

I found out who I was through finding out who you were.

I grew up knowing what life contained, through knowing what you and me had to offer.

I became who I needed to be though needing to think through our choices and decisions.

I found out that you were important to me.

And you still are.

I want to take this chance to thank you. You never got to know how much I needed you; to help me work through those new and frightening feelings I was experiencing; to help me find out what I wanted out of life, and who I really was. With you Draco, I was never anyone but myself. For that alone I want to thank you. By loving me for the way I was, it allowed me to really be who I wanted to be. I didn't care that maybe I was being too pedantic, or fretting over a little thing; you just accepted me fully no matter what.

At that point in my life, no one had actually taken me for who I was in the way that you did. I don't know why we were so afraid to be ourselves with those we claimed were our friends.

So thank you, not really for all this; letting me be who I was, letting me find out what I wanted, and who I wanted to be, letting me discover life the way it was ready waiting for me, but for actually just loving me. Because through knowing you loved me, it did allow for all of that to happen, and for that to build the life I live today.

And oh how we did love. Emotionally, mentally... physically. It was the perfect relationship to embark upon as a young adult, approaching a time in my life in which difficulties were so easily overcome knowing you were by my side. You taught me things that I've found so useful in later life, and I'll think sometimes when conversing with the people around me today, about how you brought me to know that. You taught me how to feel, you taught me what love actually meant, and how I should feel when in the company of true friends. This last bit of information has come in useful on more than one occasion.

You were a friend Draco, you were always so much more than just a partner; a lover; someone to experiment with. You were a true friend in all definitions of the word, and I have never since come across someone as sincere as you in their friendship.

I don't quite know how to describe in mere words just what life became after you and me separated. I guess it's all part of the journey of life, and I hope, for my own peace of mind if not for your happiness, that everything turned out good for you. The last I heard, you were married with children. Well, me and Dean are proud new parents to our third child; a daughter at last (after already having two boys within seven years).

I am happy now. And, though it pains me to think about back in Hogwarts when I thought my happiness would only extend to a life with you, it is also comforting to know that there is another chance for everybody out there. Even you and me, who seemed to think we were so destined to spend forever together.

We were destined to be together, Draco, but I guess our time together was enough to satisfy the Gods of fate, and our lives turned in another direction. For better or for worse; who can ever know. I would like to think it for better, as the past is what it is, and cannot be changed, and I would not like to think that the decisions I have made are bad ones.

I loved you though, Draco, I really and truly did.

I know that you did love me too. I could always feel it when you were near.

I know now that what I have with Dean is never alike to what I had with you.

But then again, I can never see myself stopping loving you. It was a strange fate that brought your address to my attention, and one that I hope you do not resent. I do not mean to bring up our history when I'm sure you're happy enough with your own life. But I just thought I should drop a line, as it were, just to let you know I still think about you.

Everyday.

Good luck with everything life throws at you; I know you'll catch it with a grace.

Please don't feel obliged to reply, although, on the other hand, please rethink before throwing this into your large fire grate. It took an unbelievable amount of courage to send this. (Don't laugh, I thought it might be strange.)

With love,

Mrs Hermione Thomas-Granger

A/N: Well, if you liked, then drop a me review, and if not, then still drop me a review and let me know where I'm going wrong! Help is always welcomed. Thanks for reading! xBekix