The Shrink
By: Sky Nikola
(Disclamer: I don't own Gundam nor do I own the boys. This is a work of complete fiction.)

The first one to arrive was Heero it was exactly one minuet before the scheduled time of the appointment, perfectly punctual as usual. He handed the lady behind the desk the appointment notice he had received. She looked at him from over her pink cat-eye glasses and said in a thick Brooklandite accent,
"I see you are here for the big group appointment, please wait in that room over there for the others to arrive." Heero nodded at her and went into the room, the doctor wasn't even there yet. Am I the only human that values punctuality now adays? He thought to himself as he took a set in the large circle of chairs. No soon did he then Wu Fei walked in, they nodded to each other and he sat at the other side of the circle. They sat in silence for a while till Duo came bouncing in.
"Hey Guys do either of you know why we're here all I got was a message that our next mission was to come to this therapist but I don't think it was sent for L2?" he sat next to Heero.
"I don't know I don't care and if they think they are going to make me talk to some lunatic who thinks he can analyse me they are mad." Wu Fei said plainly.
"How about you Yuy do you have any intention of talking at this thing?" He asked.
"It's a mission if this is what they want I will humour them to an extent."
"I don't know I think this might be cool, you know to really see how the others in the group see you and how a total stranger sees you. I think I probably be talking a lot."
"Maxwell your always talking a lot even when you really have nothing to say today will be no different." Duo opened his mouth as if he were about to say something but he was cut off by the screech of the one person they were all dreading seeing again.
"HEEEERRRO" She whined. The three pilots shuddered as she walked in wearing the most hideous dress. It was Pepto-Bismol pink and baby blue plaid and it had a huge pink bow at the neckline.
"My darling Heero it's so nice to see you." She sat down and glomped on to his arm. "It's been murder trying to get a hold of you"
"There's a good reason for that. Please let go of me." He said calmly.
"Yeah there will be some more murder if you don't let go." Duo said through clenched teeth and a forced smile.
"What do you mean Mr. Maxwell?" She asked in a very clueless manner cocking her head to the side. Duo was about to "explain himself" when Heero elbowed him in the ribs. And Quatra and Trowa walked in followed closely by the doctor a man in a tie-dyed T-shirt and a pair of faded jeans carrying an acoustic guitar. Wu Fei and Heero looked at each other and sighed This is going to be a very long day. Heero thought. They all sat down and soon after Dorothy, Zech, Une and Treize showed up.
"Well now that we are all here we can begin our session." The doctor said.
"You are all here by order of your employer they didn't tell me much more so you'll have to fill me in as we go along. First I would like each one of you to stand in the middle of the circle and tell us your name."
"We already know everyone's name and we were all given name tags so you can see perfectly well who we are the biggest question is who are you and is our insurance covering this?" Zech asked impatiently.
"I am Doctor Dick but you can call me Doc. The first five sessions will be covered."
"First five? How many are we scheduled for?" Treize asked
"Well yes you are scheduled to come twice a week for the next month, eight sessions all together." all sighed and sweet dropped
"Well lets try another exercise." He walked to a cabinet and took out a red rubber ball about the size of a basketball.
"Now when you have the ball tell the group something special about yourself. Here Trowa why don't you go first he threw the ball to the banged pilot, he caught it with ease.
"..........."
"Well say something, take you time though you went this to be a special part of yourself you are sharing with the group and anything that is said in this room will stay with the people in this room."
".......... I am an acrobatic artist..."
"Is that all?" Trowa nodded
"Well I guess it's a start. Now through the ball to someone else in the circle." Trowa toss the ball to Quatra sitting next to him. The little blonde cleared his throat.
"Pink flip flops vacation on the opposite side of the refrigerator then the purple fireflies bathing in the liquid moonlight. Yolanda queen of the bee people, lather rinse repeat." He threw the ball to a puzzled Relina. Since she, and the rest of the group were so confused after Quatra's ..... "speech", that she didn't see it coming and it hit her smack in the face giving her a bloody nose. She got up finally letting go of Heero's arm to try and stop the blood. But as she got up and ran out of the room it trickled through her fingers and left pretty little red dots leading out of the room. Wu Fei laughed.
"Stupid onna" he muttered
"That sort of derogatory attitude toward woman is symbolic of some tragic memory of your mother or maybe another big female figure in your life." The Doc explained. He huffed. Dorothy picked up the ball and turned it over a few times in her hands.
"Um I have and intense fear of.....bugs. I try to hide it because I think it is very silly but they are icky."
"Well we will help you get over your fear." Dorothy locked eyes with Quatra a very hungry stare to her eyes as if he were a top cut of meat. Dorothy through the ball at him,
"Will you please make some sense?" He caught the ball and swallowed hard.
"My plants talk to me. All the little ferns and such I have in the dinning room talk to me and that is the language they use couldn't you under stand me?" He question was answered by blank stairs, he shrugged and through the ball to Heero who immediately through it into Duo's lap.
"Oh no it's your turn you can't just pass."
"Fine, because this was sent to me as a mission I will humour you. I think that if there is a hell this is it and you are Satan incarnate. If a had a choice I would not be here my mental health is in perfect order." He crossed his arms and glared daggers at the doctor.
"Ok. we'll talk about your fear of opening up to people in the next session."
"So anyway something special about myself? Something not most of you know right? I'm really masochistic, I dig being controlled and...well beaten I guess you might say and Heero's really...." His thought was cut short by a hand on his mouth and a gun to his temple.
"One more word Duo and I will give you some pain you will not be enjoying." Duo toss the ball to Une.
"I'm a schizophrenic. It all depends on weather or not I have my precious glasses, they make me strong they're magic." She through the ball to Treize
"I enjoy cross dressing, it makes me feel beautiful for my count and my dragon." Une fainted Wu Fei ran out of the room holding his nose, and Zech blushed slightly.
"Ke sama!! Injustice!!" They heard him scream. The last one left was Zech. He looked down at the floor.
"I'm really kind of ashamed. Promise no one will tell anyone else. (All nodded.) I.. I... I... bleach my hair there are you happy?" He looked as if he were about to cry and the Doc looked as if he now needed a shrink.
"Right well this was a good session there was a lot of break through. We're done you can all leave I'm going to blow my brains out now but sessions will resume on Friday. ~ Owari