The Perfect Piece of Literature

Jennie liked to write. A lot. A whole lot. She was practically glued to the word processing program on her computer. It was either that or spending hours on end writing in her notebook. Unfortunately for our hero Jennie, however, this prodigy of a writer was struck with a severe case of writers block. It was becoming more and more difficult for her to write as the days passed by. It was encroaching on every inch of her creative soul. One day she couldn't take it anymore. She cried out at the top of her lungs, "NO, NO, NO! I WILL CREATE THE PERFECT PIECE OF LITTERATURE IF I DIE TRYING!" So she tried and she failed, so she died. The end.

JUST KIDDING!!!

So as I was saying, Jennie cried out on the top of her lungs, "NO, NO, NO! I WILL CREATE THE PERFECT PIECE OF LITTERATURE IF I DIE TRYING!" So she took out her handy dandy notebook took a pen and proceeded to think about what she could possibly write. "Hmmm," she thought to herself, "maybe a mystery story would do". She thought for a minute and started to write on the pad:

It was a dark and stormy evening. It was a dark and stormy night.

These words only brought frustration to the young writer's mind. Scribbling the words out, she couldn't help mumbling, "Too Charlie Brown for me. I couldn't have sworn Snoopy wrote this on a typewriter." So then, after a little consideration, she moved on to writing Science Fiction. She began writing:

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away.It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.

Only to stop herself, realizing how uncannily familiar it all sounded to her. "How about poetry?" She decided. It would be something original, something that would uplift the soul.

'Twas brilling and the slithy toves/ did gyre and gimble in the wabe/ All mimsy were the borogroves/And the mome rats.

"STOP!" she shouted, only realizing that she has been listening to way too much Jefferson Airplane *White Rabbit * lately. Alice and Wonderland was getting to her head. So, instead, at the thought of music, she assumed that the best bet would be to write a musical. You know, something of biblical proportions that would send the audience dancing through the streets. She tore out the page she had scribbled all over with her dissatisfactions, and began writing a catchy tune for her musical. "Something that would represent the beauty of nature, she pondered, something with color." and then it seemed to come to her:

It was red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ocher and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn

"And It's been done!" she cried with disgust. Why was writing suddenly so difficult for her? It was like everything she had was taken away from her! What awful.thing could be doing this to her?? Then suddenly, it came to her! A song about her what's crippling her energy? She tried to think of the only words that she could put together on the subject:

I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might, Kryptonite... Yeah!!

"Try, Nooo!!??" Sadly, Jennie was still on the wrong side of the typewriter. Then, suddenly, in a stroke of genius, she finally was able to put all she came up with together. She went to her computer, opened up Microsoft Word, threw her shoe at the screen because that adorable little yet annoying character Mr. Gates christened as Clippit was asking her to type a letter when she was trying to type a normal paragraph; then took out her dad's good ol' type writer and tied everything together. Her final story ended up:

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away, it was a dark and stormy evening; a dark and stormy night. It was a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. You see, the empire 'twas brilling, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe with fear. All mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome rats were red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ocher and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn. Finally they couldn't stand it anymore, and they cried out to any hero they could find, "I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might, Kryptonite!"

Perfect, right? WRONG! Jennie still wasn't satisfied. She wanted to write something people would remember long after it was done. "A movie, perhaps".

So she sat there, and after much thought and consideration, she typed the title for the movie people would be talking about for generations to come:

The Blair Witch Project