Cliffie: Eeee. First fanfiction I've posted here. Oh dearie me…

Anyway... this is, of course, a Full Moon wo Sagashite piece. I'm in love with both the anime and the manga (despite the differences) and the Izumi/Meroko relationship is absolutely adorable. I love both characters. /grins/ This ficlet focuses on Izumi after Meroko left to help Takuto (read: before Mitsuki)—there's no specific time. Be prepared for some angst, peeps.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Moon wo Sagashite or any of the characters.

The room was small and confined, with dirt littering the floor and stains upon the wall. He wasn't sure why he was so attracted to the place; perhaps it was because it was the only place that didn't make him feel like he was pretending to be what he wasn't. Here, in this filthy room, he was dirty and he knew it.

Her voice rang in his ears; he could see her clearly in his mind's eye. He didn't bother trying to repress the memories, or the pain, any longer. What was the point? He would fail, always fail, and he was tired of trying.

"Izumi-kun, Izumi-kun! Wait a minute!"

He paused as he always did, a long-suffering look on his face. Must he deal with this again?

"Izumi-kun… I love you…"

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I know, Meroko," he stated flatly. "You've told me multiple times." He couldn't take any more of her declarations of love. It was really starting to get annoying. He quickly pushed off into the sky, ignoring Meroko's distressed wail behind him.

He didn't care, and he never would.

A soft, brittle chuckle burst forth. "I hurt you so badly, didn't I, Me-chan?" he whispered. The words were slow and heavy, painful on his tongue. They were cracked, just like the rest of him. Broken.

There were dozens of instances like that whirling around in his memories. And in every one, he would brush the other shinigami off as if she was a fly. He hadn't cared about her, and he had hurt her without thinking about it. In fact, perhaps he had even taken some sort of sadistic pleasure in causing her pain. But those days, those feelings, were long gone. He was broken now, sitting on a dirty floor in a dirty room, and his soul was just as filthy.

He despised himself.

He couldn't understand why she didn't.

He didn't get it. He knew she still loved him, for all she claimed to love Takuto now and she hadn't seen him in years. Perhaps she did love the cat man, but never in the same way she loved him.

But she didn't want to. That was the thing; the funny, ironic thing that bit him hard and tore him to bits and hurt him more than anything. She didn't want to love him—it was against her will. If she could control her heart, she would truly fall in love with Takuto and forget all about him.

She wanted to. He knew her too well by now not to realize that. But she couldn't forget about him, for some reason or another. She still loved him, and would always love him no matter how many other loves came into her life.

And he had pushed that affection away, pushed and pushed and pushed until she finally fled and stopped talking to him.

But she couldn't forget him.

And he couldn't forget her. Even in this room, this filthy room that reflected his soul, he couldn't stop thinking about her. What was she doing now? Was she safe? Would he ever see her again? He had only seen her a few times since their team had broken up—his doing, his soul screamed, it was his fault—and every time it hurt worse. He tried to ignore it, but he was too tired now. He couldn't do anything to repress the feeling welling up inside him.

He wanted to see her, wanted to hold her, no matter the fact that he didn't deserve it.

He wanted her to whisper those words to him again, and this time he wouldn't force her away.

"Me-chan… I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Sorry he didn't realize it sooner. Sorry he was cruel to her and her heart. He wanted to hold that heart now, cradle it and care for it tenderly.

But he couldn't, and shouldn't, because he was stained. He was tainted, so filthy, and she was pure.

"Me-chan… I know now. And I'm sorry. I… I love you, Me-chan."

But there was no answer, no anything. The words quickly faded into nothingness, for there was no one to hear them.

There was no one to hear them, and Izumi was left in that room, broken and bleeding and filthy.

Tainted, and no one would ever know.

Cliffie: Poor Izumi. /sniffs/ I really do like him, 'specially in the manga. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it… reviews are much appreciated, of course!