IT'S BRILLIANT!!! Yes, I shall do it... Now, while I am myself, I shall write a parody of one of Vampira's fics. Don't know which one, don't care which one, it will serve my evil purpose no matter what it is... I shall parodize.... Vampira's fic 'No Life To Live.' Yes, it should be rather amusing... Hopefully....
Heero sat on his bed, pondering a great many things. "I'm not needed anymore... The wars are over... The others don't care, none of them. Quatre probably only was ever anywhere near me at all because of my dashing good looks and mysterious personality which only partially reveals that there may be something more to me than simply my 'perfect soldier' attitude. Trowa? I can't even think of an excuse for him, he probably was just around because he went a little crazy when he lost his memory. Wufei... HA! Wufei's nuts. He'd hang out with Satan if he felt like it. Oh, hell, lets face it, the guy'd even be around Britney Spears, just for no reason at all. And that in itself is enough proof to lock him up in a looney bin for life. Duo? Well, Duo..." Then Heero jumped out of bed. "ICE CREAM TRUCK!" Heero ran from his apartment and hurried towards the ice cream truck, where he spent about an hour deciding what he wanted. He finally settled on a plain vanilla cone, and then went back to his apartment.
"Now, what was I talking about? Oh, right. The Braves can't do a damn thing. They never were good anyways. Wait a minute... Who the hell are the Braves? Oh, yeah, I was talking about how nobody cares about me. Duo was probably only around me because he's absolutely, madly in love with me because of my incredible physique, the way my hair always looks exactly the same no matter what even after I've been wearing a helmet for for-frikken-ever, my uperior, though not thoroughly overwhelming, intelligence, and my unselfish, kind, understanding, and all that other stupid crap personality. Or maybe he just thought of me as a challenge, just wanting to see if he could get me to tell him about myself, to let him past this supposed barier around me." Heero sighed and exited his apartment again, and the man from the apartment next to his walked by. The man got about two feet from Heero and fell down. "Hey, you got some kind of invisible shield around you or something? It's almost as if there's some sort of barrier around you..." He muttered, and then stood up. Heero went into his apartment and looked around, his eyes stopping on the bathroom door.
"Maybe I should kill myself... Well, I'll call the other pilots and say goodbye first." Heero dialed Quatres phone number first, and Quatre answered the phone, but Heero heard loud moaning from the other end of the line. "Quatre? You okay?" "Yes, Heero. *moan* I'm certainly not *moan* having sex with *moan* Trowa, or anything." "Okay. Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing... Everythings fine over here..." "Heero. *moan* Where are *moan* you?" "I'm still in the same apartment." There was a moment of silence from Quatres end, and then "I'm cumming!" Heero shook his head. "No, no, Quatre! Don't come! Stay there!" "I can't help it, Heero!" "No, Don't come, Quatre!" Then Heero hung up the phone. "Damn it... I'll just skip Trowa and Wufei, and call Duo. Not for any particular reason. It's just that there's this little voice that seems to be telling me to call him..." Then the author of this fic, who was behind Heero, hitting him repeatedly with the script and yelling "Call Duo, damn it!" finally stopped hitting Heero. "It's about time." Then Heero dialed Duos number.
"Duo? Hi. I am not calling you because I'm going to kill myself, I just thought I'd let you know that. By the way, how are things back there on Earth?" "Heero, don't kill yourself! Don' do it! I'll be there as quick as I can, just don't kill yourself!" Then Duo hung up. "Well, that was rude... Hmmm... What was I going to do now? Oh, yeah...."
A while later, Duo arrived at Heeros apatment and rammed his shoulder into the door repeatedly until it finally exploded ino the apartment. Duo ran through the wreckage of the door, of which only the frame remained, and as he walked by, the door swung open. "Oh, wow, it wasn't locked..." Duo shrugged his shoulders and looked around the apartment, noting some steam coming from the bathroom. "Oh, no! I might already be too late!" Duo ran to the bathroom door, knocked to see if Heero was taking a shower, not wanting to disturb him unless he actually was killing himself, and when he got no answer, he ran inside the bathroom. He turned towards the bathtub and saw Heero happily splashing water over his naked body. "DUO! What are you doing? I'm taking a bath, here!" Heero squeezed the rubber duck he had in the bathtub with him. "See? Ducky agrees, too." Heero squeezed the duck again. "Hmmm... Ducky says QUAAAAAACK."
Duo scratched his head and stared at Heero. "What am I supposed to do now? I've got it!" Duo grabbed Heero by his hair and slammed his head into the back of the bathtub, knocking him unconcious. He then dragged Heero out of the bathtub and over to his bed. "Let's see, what was my line again? Oh, yeah... 'Shit! Please, don't leave me, now! I thought you said I was your friend?'" Then Heeros rubber ducky walked out of the bathroom and stared up at Duo. "h, now that's just wrong... A rubber duck should not be able to walk..." The duck opened its mouth to reveal rows upon rows of sharp, rubber teeth. The duck leapt at Duo, biting his leg, and Duo screamed out in pain. "That hurt! I fell on my ass when you jumped on me, ducky... By the way, your bite doesn't hurt a damn bit." Then the duck growled, and Heero awoke. The duck froze, and fell to the ground, and Heero stared at Duo. "Duo? Why are you wrestling with the duck?" Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Seemed like a good idea at the time." Heero nodded his head and then began to french Heero. And I don't mean he said 'wee-wee.' He leaned forward, pressed his mouth to Duos, and83 0nv238291pvc p 8y32p8ryv pq8bpb84yp828347pp938698nctqy498p*.l9987nctp64aw9f986tancf998fca64wn4wa987f6t9a8jm6498wa4tmj69w874a6ts39876nths974w6tvjn964tsl64tms948w6vt9m64t98vs6t98s46t9s86nt986vt94a8m6tsw94t94w8t6sw948t Oh, wow! That sex scene there was great... Hehehe... Wow... Well, that's about all we have time for. Goodnight!
Heero sat on his bed, pondering a great many things. "I'm not needed anymore... The wars are over... The others don't care, none of them. Quatre probably only was ever anywhere near me at all because of my dashing good looks and mysterious personality which only partially reveals that there may be something more to me than simply my 'perfect soldier' attitude. Trowa? I can't even think of an excuse for him, he probably was just around because he went a little crazy when he lost his memory. Wufei... HA! Wufei's nuts. He'd hang out with Satan if he felt like it. Oh, hell, lets face it, the guy'd even be around Britney Spears, just for no reason at all. And that in itself is enough proof to lock him up in a looney bin for life. Duo? Well, Duo..." Then Heero jumped out of bed. "ICE CREAM TRUCK!" Heero ran from his apartment and hurried towards the ice cream truck, where he spent about an hour deciding what he wanted. He finally settled on a plain vanilla cone, and then went back to his apartment.
"Now, what was I talking about? Oh, right. The Braves can't do a damn thing. They never were good anyways. Wait a minute... Who the hell are the Braves? Oh, yeah, I was talking about how nobody cares about me. Duo was probably only around me because he's absolutely, madly in love with me because of my incredible physique, the way my hair always looks exactly the same no matter what even after I've been wearing a helmet for for-frikken-ever, my uperior, though not thoroughly overwhelming, intelligence, and my unselfish, kind, understanding, and all that other stupid crap personality. Or maybe he just thought of me as a challenge, just wanting to see if he could get me to tell him about myself, to let him past this supposed barier around me." Heero sighed and exited his apartment again, and the man from the apartment next to his walked by. The man got about two feet from Heero and fell down. "Hey, you got some kind of invisible shield around you or something? It's almost as if there's some sort of barrier around you..." He muttered, and then stood up. Heero went into his apartment and looked around, his eyes stopping on the bathroom door.
"Maybe I should kill myself... Well, I'll call the other pilots and say goodbye first." Heero dialed Quatres phone number first, and Quatre answered the phone, but Heero heard loud moaning from the other end of the line. "Quatre? You okay?" "Yes, Heero. *moan* I'm certainly not *moan* having sex with *moan* Trowa, or anything." "Okay. Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing... Everythings fine over here..." "Heero. *moan* Where are *moan* you?" "I'm still in the same apartment." There was a moment of silence from Quatres end, and then "I'm cumming!" Heero shook his head. "No, no, Quatre! Don't come! Stay there!" "I can't help it, Heero!" "No, Don't come, Quatre!" Then Heero hung up the phone. "Damn it... I'll just skip Trowa and Wufei, and call Duo. Not for any particular reason. It's just that there's this little voice that seems to be telling me to call him..." Then the author of this fic, who was behind Heero, hitting him repeatedly with the script and yelling "Call Duo, damn it!" finally stopped hitting Heero. "It's about time." Then Heero dialed Duos number.
"Duo? Hi. I am not calling you because I'm going to kill myself, I just thought I'd let you know that. By the way, how are things back there on Earth?" "Heero, don't kill yourself! Don' do it! I'll be there as quick as I can, just don't kill yourself!" Then Duo hung up. "Well, that was rude... Hmmm... What was I going to do now? Oh, yeah...."
A while later, Duo arrived at Heeros apatment and rammed his shoulder into the door repeatedly until it finally exploded ino the apartment. Duo ran through the wreckage of the door, of which only the frame remained, and as he walked by, the door swung open. "Oh, wow, it wasn't locked..." Duo shrugged his shoulders and looked around the apartment, noting some steam coming from the bathroom. "Oh, no! I might already be too late!" Duo ran to the bathroom door, knocked to see if Heero was taking a shower, not wanting to disturb him unless he actually was killing himself, and when he got no answer, he ran inside the bathroom. He turned towards the bathtub and saw Heero happily splashing water over his naked body. "DUO! What are you doing? I'm taking a bath, here!" Heero squeezed the rubber duck he had in the bathtub with him. "See? Ducky agrees, too." Heero squeezed the duck again. "Hmmm... Ducky says QUAAAAAACK."
Duo scratched his head and stared at Heero. "What am I supposed to do now? I've got it!" Duo grabbed Heero by his hair and slammed his head into the back of the bathtub, knocking him unconcious. He then dragged Heero out of the bathtub and over to his bed. "Let's see, what was my line again? Oh, yeah... 'Shit! Please, don't leave me, now! I thought you said I was your friend?'" Then Heeros rubber ducky walked out of the bathroom and stared up at Duo. "h, now that's just wrong... A rubber duck should not be able to walk..." The duck opened its mouth to reveal rows upon rows of sharp, rubber teeth. The duck leapt at Duo, biting his leg, and Duo screamed out in pain. "That hurt! I fell on my ass when you jumped on me, ducky... By the way, your bite doesn't hurt a damn bit." Then the duck growled, and Heero awoke. The duck froze, and fell to the ground, and Heero stared at Duo. "Duo? Why are you wrestling with the duck?" Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Seemed like a good idea at the time." Heero nodded his head and then began to french Heero. And I don't mean he said 'wee-wee.' He leaned forward, pressed his mouth to Duos, and83 0nv238291pvc p 8y32p8ryv pq8bpb84yp828347pp938698nctqy498p*.l9987nctp64aw9f986tancf998fca64wn4wa987f6t9a8jm6498wa4tmj69w874a6ts39876nths974w6tvjn964tsl64tms948w6vt9m64t98vs6t98s46t9s86nt986vt94a8m6tsw94t94w8t6sw948t Oh, wow! That sex scene there was great... Hehehe... Wow... Well, that's about all we have time for. Goodnight!