Title: Absolutely Infuriating.
Author: Yours truly, ohxasphyxiationx.
Pairing: RenoxTseng
Warning: Yaoi, AKA, a little something known as boisex. Explicit boisecks. Kthnxbai.

Author's Note: A badly kept secret, this fic was meant to be a surprise! gift fic for my darling friend (and future wife) Izzy. I wonder if I tricked her with this… probably not. But, Izzy, if it's a big juicy lemon you want, I'll make lemonade! XD Tehn we canz drynkz it, kaiz?

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"Now, hold on there lady," an obviously frustrated redhead yelled at the rather frightened secretary sitting behind the desk. "There is no way I'm doing this kind of work. The Boss in?"

"S-sir," the secretary stammered. Reno couldn't help but smile at the look of nervousness and fear in her eyes. She needed to be much tougher than that if she planned on working as the secretary of the Turks Division. "I told you, he isn't here!"

Just as Reno was about to raise even more hell, Tseng walked into reception. The secretary looked as thought she was thanking the Gods for having answered her prayer, and Reno quickly turned, giving her an apologetic smile, to which she harrumphed before turning away. Tseng didn't even bother to cast a glance at Reno, not even slightly curious as to what trouble he'd started this time. Instead, he hastily made his way to his office. Reno sighed in frustration before rushing off behind the man.

"Wait up, yo!" Reno continued to jog behind Tseng until he fell in step with the raven-haired man. "Gotta talk to you."

Tseng made no move to acknowledge the redhead's words or presence. Instead, he continued to walk to his office. He had a lot of work to do, and definitely didn't have the time for this. If Tseng fell behind, he'd be in the shit for sure. It took only a few moments until he reached the end of the hall and the door of his window office. Being the leader of the Turks certainly had its perks.

He turned his key in the lock, and upon hearing the soft click, pushed the door open and made his way inside. It was a simple office with very little furnishings; a large cherry wood desk, a comfortable reclining office chair upholstered with brown leather, two tall leather chairs on the opposite side, a computer and telephone. Reflective of Tseng's attitude, his office was strictly business. There were no added comforts or luxuries.

Tseng promptly took his seat behind the desk, dropping the small stack of paperwork he'd been carrying onto the middle of the desk. No more than a few seconds later, Tseng was reviewing and filling out paperwork, pen in hand.

Reno milled around the room, inspecting its walls, carpeting, and everything there was one could lay their eyes on, mostly out of habit. A habit Reno knew annoyed and angered a no-nonsense Tseng.

Reno counted.

One… Two… Three…

"What is it, Reno?" Tseng said with a sigh, unable to watch Reno's pacing, especially when there was work that needed to be done. "Don't you have an assignment?"

Reno smirked, pleased with himself for breaking Tseng's concentration. He sat in one of the chairs opposite from Tseng, unceremoniously propping his feet on top of the desk, grinning madly all the while.

"Get your damn feet off of my desk," Tseng said through gritted teeth, trying to do everything in his power to keep his voice level, to not show too much anger.

Reno complied, still grinning, and instead leaned back in the chair, his arms crossed behind his head, and the chair tilting precariously.

"I don't plan on going on the assignment," Reno stated nonchalantly. "That's novice work. Reno of the Turks doesn't do that, yo!"

Tseng sighed tiredly.

"For the hundredth time, Reno," Tseng began, pretty secure in his assumption that this was in fact the hundredth time he'd gone over this with Reno. "We're Turks. Our job is to do the work that SOLDIER and the other higher-up's cannot."

"You mean, the work SOLDIER and those big-shot's can't be bothered to do," Reno corrected. Tseng shook his head. "I'm one of the best Turks there are, you know. If you think I'm going to babysit Cloudy-boy again, you're wrong, yo!"

Reno stopped smiling and looked seriously at Tseng. Tseng's serious gaze competed with Reno's. Neither of the two stubborn men budged.

"Reno, you will do the work I assign you. Clear?"

A corner of Reno's mouth curled upwards as he smirked at Tseng, before reaching over the desk and yanking Tseng's tie, drawing the man closer to him. Reno initiated, crashing their lips together in a bruising kiss. Neither were sure how much time had passed before Reno finally pulled away.

"I said I'm not going, is that clear?" Reno searched Tseng's face for any signs of rejection, any anger or resistance, but found none. Instead, he found Tseng's lips parted wordlessly, panting, his face flushed slightly pink. Reno grinned, pleased with himself, before getting to his feet and preparing to leave. Tseng immediately rose from his seat behind the desk, staring at the redhead intensely.

"If you leave this room, I expect you to complete your assignment; otherwise, you can prepare yourself to find another job," Tseng threatened menacingly, although his slightly disheveled appearance made him look much less intimidating.

Reno smirked, not at all intimidated by Tseng's threat. Reno was one of the best Turks there were, only rivaled by Tseng himself. Unlike Tseng, who was calm and had great leadership qualities, Reno was impulsive, wild, and reckless.

"And if I stay?" Reno questions with a mischievous grin. "That's sexual harassment, yo! I'll tell everyone. Swear."

Just as Reno was about to gloat over his small victory, he felt cool metal pressed between his eyes.

"You stay."

It was a simple command, and Reno for once found himself at a loss for words. He held his hands up in a gesture of surrender, slowly backing away.

"Relax, Boss," Reno nearly cooed. "I'll stay."

Tseng searched Reno's face for that smug, self-satisfied smirk that seemed ever present. Finding nothing but the slightest hints of nervousness, he retracted his gun, carefully placing it in the top drawer of his desk. Reno began to relax, but Tseng quickly turned towards him and grabbed Reno's tie, yanking it forcefully and pulling him closer.

"You're so goddamn infuriating, Reno," Tseng's voice was as calm and cool as ever, but his eyes were alight with anger. "You're always pushing the limits, always stepping over boundaries. Hasn't anyone warned you that someday, someone would push back?"

Tseng was smiling, but it wasn't a pleasant smile. It was devious, menacing, and Reno shifted under Tseng's gaze. Tseng made his way around the desk, before standing right in front of Reno. The raven-haired man moved in even closer, his lips tantalizingly near Reno's ear.

"Well," Tseng whispered, his breath tickling Reno's sensitive ears. "Today is that day."

Reno felt the air leave him as Tseng pushed him harshly against the door. He felt a dull throb as his right shoulder collided with the wood. Stunned, Reno looked up at Tseng, who was walking slowly, stalking towards the momentarily incapacitated redhead. He only stopped when they were face to face, lips hovering not even an inch away from each other. Tseng's hand reached out, grabbing a fistful of bright red hair. Reno couldn't even let out a yelp before his lips were pressed against Tseng's.

It wasn't a romantic kiss. It was filled with a growing desire that had finally taken over their senses and made them both lose control. Their lips moved together surprisingly gentle, albeit frantically, and soon their tongues were exploring, tasting, and moving together in a sensual dance. A few minutes passed before they broke apart, both gasping for air.

Neither of them said a word, Reno instead moving forward and licking the pale, exposed skin of Tseng's neck, where the top of his shirt had come slightly undone. Finding a spot that looked invitingly soft, he pressed his lips to it, delighted at the gasp that left Tseng's parted lips. Experimenting, Reno nibbled at the skin gently, this action earning a drawn out groan. Pulling the skin between his teeth, he alternated skinning and sucking the smooth skin, turned on by the various sounds that Tseng let out. He finally let go, and smiled, satisfied at the deep purple mark on Tseng's neck that he knew would be very difficult to hide.

One look into Tseng's clouded eyes and Reno knew that Tseng was putty in his hands.

Reno slipped out of Tseng's hold, turning the man around until his back was to the door, and swiftly fell to his knees. He quickly unbuttoned the man's trousers, surprised to find that Tseng wore no underwear. Freeing the raven-haired man from the tight confines of his pants, Reno smiled deviously before sucking the man's rather large member into his mouth.

Tseng immediately let out a loud groan of ecstasy as his length was encased in the warm heat of Reno's mouth. His head fell back, banging loudly against the door, as Reno worked his tongue over him expertly. He relaxed the muscles in his throat, managing to take even more of the large member into his mouth. Tseng gritted his teeth and did his best to steady himself, but failed miserably, instead reaching drown and grabbing a fistful of bright red hair.

Reno continued his ministrations for a moment, before letting go, staring up at Tseng through his lashes. Tseng couldn't help but notice that it made look almost innocent. It didn't suit him at all, but that didn't stop that expectant stare from being so arousing. Tseng groaned at the loss of contact, waiting and praying for more, and to placate him, Reno reached out and stroked Tseng's manhood slowly, which further frustrated his superior.

"Call someone," Reno pleaded, looking up at Tseng in that same innocent way. "I can't keep doing this if you don't cancel my assignment."

Tseng heard the brakes screeching wildly in his head. If he wasn't so aroused he would have facepalmed. He'd been duped.

"You sneaky little bastard," Tseng tried to speak with malice, but his voice came out low and husky and desperate, and Tseng couldn't help it as a blush crept up to his cheeks. "Get me the phone."

Reno bounded across the room, quickly retrieving the phone from Tseng's desk, and handing it to the rather frustrated man. Getting back down onto his knees, he quickly resumed his ministrations, sucking Tseng's member back into his mouth and working his tongue along the underside of it.

As the person on the other end of the line picked up, Tseng did his best to try and sound composed despite the amazing things Reno was doing with his tongue. He took a deep breath.

"Hello?" A female voice answered on the other line.

"Elena, this is Tseng," the man couldn't suppress the hiss that passed his lips as Reno's devious tongue played with the slit on the head of his member. "I need you to keep an eye on a target. Cloud Strife."

"Why?" Elena inquired. "I thought that was Reno's assignment."

Tseng looked down at the blur of red hair bobbing up and down on his length. He bit his lip as Reno's tongue brushed along a sensitive spot. When he was finally able to somewhat right himself, he spoke again.

"Reno…" his voice trailed off as Reno did something else amazing with tongue that left Tseng breathless. "Is busy at the moment." Hearing this, Reno couldn't help but smirk around Tseng's manhood.

"Well… all right. Sure thing, boss." Once she hung up, Tseng let the phone fall from his hands with a thud as he came, a long, low howl of pleasure passing his lips. Reno was there to catch and swallow every last drop.

When Tseng was finally able to take a deep breath, he found himself facing the door and his cheek being pressed against it rather roughly. Already nude from the waist down, he found himself in a very vulnerable position. In his panic he heard the sound of Reno's zippering being pulled down and the sound of Reno's belt hitting the floor, before Reno's slender hands gripped his bare hips and pulled them flush.

Reno reached down, grabbing his length and rubbing his precum along it as means of lubrication. He leaned in, pulling the rest of Tseng's beautiful hair out of its standard ponytail. Working his fingers through the silken strands, he leaned his lips brushing gently over the nape of Tseng's neck, before he suddenly bit down, hard.

Tseng let out a hiss of pain, and Reno used that as his opportunity to shove himself into the hilt, without any preparation. Tseng's mouth was agape, but no sound would come out. He could barely breathe. It took a while, and Reno was kind enough to not move and let Tseng adjust, but Tseng finally felt the pain start to ebb away. Once Reno felt Tseng relax in his hold, he began to thrust in and out gently, seeking that one spot that would make this all worthwhile for the man beneath him.

He knew he had found it when Tseng let out a rather loud scream. Smiling with self-satisfaction, Reno made sure to keep his thrusts at that same angle. Reno was rather proud of himself, as he found himself pounding into his superior, who was screaming and moaning wantonly beneath him.

"I wonder," Reno couldn't help but whisper in Tseng's ear. "How many people would respect you, if they saw you like this?"

Those words, meant to be an insult and a stab at his pride, were all it took for Tseng to come undone once more, his orgasm doubly as strong as the first. With Tseng's orgasm, Reno found his own as the man's tightness began to spasm around him, milking his erection of everything it had to give.

They stood that way, making their best attempt at catching their breath, and once they did, they quickly came apart, pulling on their clothes and trying to make themselves look decent.

When they had finally cleaned up, Reno began to take his leave.

"Well," he said, looking at Tseng with that trademark smirk plastered on his face. "That was fun."

Tseng's face was stoic, and he didn't say a word.

"I'll… go do some paperwork," Reno said, halfway out the door. "See you at home, Boss!"

With that, Reno hightailed his way out of the office and far, far away from his very upset lover.

Tseng stood for a few moments until his anger finally dissipated. When he had finally calmed down, he sat at his desk, finishing his paperwork, all the while wondering how he could get back at his devious, evil, conniving redheaded lover before the night was through.

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Did it make sense?

Not really.

Is there a reason why he doesn't want to watch Cloud?

Aside from him being too damn emo, no.

But hey, it's a oneshot. Don't take it so seriously. XD