Neptunia And Friends Skits! *Noire*

*Parody story based of comedy vids from YouTube*

EP 1: Respect The Retard

Noire, Uni and Kei are sitting down on a couch. Kei gasps and tells the others that K-Sha gets out of the hospital! "That is why the doctor called and said K-Sha was retarded, it all makes sense now."

"God, I hate that retard." Uni said.

"Hate her!" Kei said.

"She laughed the whole way off the roof..." Noire stated and K-Sha enters the room with her head bandaged up. "I mean she could've been screaming but I could've sworn it was laughter."

"Hey..." Uni said to K-Sha.

"So the doctor said that was the worst recycling bin accident he's seen in over 100 years." K-Sha said and has a flashback of the incident.

One Week Earlier:

"Come on K-Sha you can do it!" Uni cheered the girl on from the ground. Up on the roof was K-Sha and Noire. "You can do it girl! Come on, you picked dare K-Sha. You picked dare, come on."

"Alright...1...and 3." Noire said and pushes K-Sha off the balcony of the Basilicom. K-Sha screams and hits the ground hard and she starts bleeding from her head.

"Oof, that's blood." Uni said and K-Sha start to spasm.

END.

"And he diagnosed me with retardation of the mind." K-Sha told the news to the three.

"How did you get back from the ambulance...retard?" Kei asked in a mocking tone of voice.

"What she meant to say, is that your obviously quite stupider than we are."

"Your IQ sucks!" Uni shouted.

"Sucks!" Kei shouted.

"Double sucks!" Uni added more to her first statement.

"Which actually means from a frame of reference means it's probably really low." Noire said.

"My IQ has dropped below 70...so clinically...I am retarded." K-Sha said.

"Oh my gosh, she actually is retarded?" Noire asked.

"I thought the doctor was joking." Uni said.

"Now that I feel guilty I don't want to make fun of her anymore." Kei said.

"Listen girls! We should resolve to treat her totally different now that she's retarded now." Noire said.

"That makes sense." Uni agreed.

"Completely logical." Kei agreed.

The three go to K-Sha and surround her.

"I'm gonna buy you the best guns they have." Uni said.

"It's not your fault God didn't give you a brain!" Noire said and touches K-Sha's hand.

"Me Kei...we family." Kei said.

"Uhhhh is this thing contagious!? Cause she just sweated all over me!" Noire yelled.

"We take care of you. Comb hair." Kei said.

"I feel my brain going..." Noire started to twitch.

*The next day*

Noire-

K-Sha is eating cereal. Noire runs to her. "No K-Sha not the cereal you silly fool! Full retards can't eat bland flakes, got to let real people feed you bland flakes, now open your mouth." Noire gets a spoonful of the cereal and K-Sha opens her mouth. "On three. ONE TWO THREE!" Noire flings the cereal at K-Sha's face. "No K-Sha failed cause K-Sha can't thing like real people can."

Uni-

Uni is in the shower and K-Sha walks to the shower. "Hey K-Sha need help bathing, now that you're retarded?" Uni asked. K-Sha doesn't say anything. "Get your Lastation butt in here!" Uni started to wash K-Sha's back.

Back with Noire-

"One more time. 1 2 3..." Noire flings the cereal again into K-Sha's mouth. "Didn't see that one coming. Curve ball."

Back with Uni-

Uni started to sing about bathing K-Sha. K-Sha turns around and is eye to with the Lastastion candidate. "Uni..."

"Yeah?"

"This is kinda weird."

"You're right. Kei get out of here!" Uni looks down on the floor. Kei gets up from laying on the floor.

"Fine I'm leaving anyways!" Kei leaves the bathroom.

"Sorry." Uni said and kept washing K-Sha.

*Later that day: Outside*

K-Sha is out in the street and has protective clothing on.

"You ready K-Sha. You're ready? On three you're gonna catch the ball alright...three." Noire throws a football at K-Sha and it bounces off her body. "Yeah!"

"Good catch!" Uni claps. K-Sha starts crying.

"Girls I'm not actually retarded! The doctor called in and said I'm not retarded but he thought it was "retarded" for letting you girls send me off the balcony in a recycling bin." K-Sha sobbed.

"Oh." Uni said.

"I wiped shit off your ass for absolutely no reason?" Noire asked.

"That hurts right here." Uni said and points at her heart. "You're worse than retarded, you're a liar and a bad friend!" Uni shouted. K-Sha starts to cry.

"Oh my God." Noire said and rubbed her face.

"I can't even look at you, you look retarded but you're not. So It's like an illusion!" Uni said.

"Let's go find some actual retards to feed pudding." Noire suggested and starts to walk away with Uni.

"Yeah that sounds like- let's do that." Uni said and followed Noire.

"I can't beleive it she wasn't actually retarded." Noire said.

"Jerk." Uni sticks her tongue out at K-Sha.

"Girls where are you going? Please come back. Please!"

"Oh not my toothbrush!" Kei said and dropped her toothbrush while driving. She goes down to reach for it as K-Sha gasps as the car drives towards her. Kei gets her toothbrush back and brushes her teeth with one hand while driving with the other. She rans K-Sha over. *A body pillow*

ONE WEEK LATER

Uni and Kei are standing outside together.

"You know what I feel liked I learned from all of this, Kei?"

"What's that Uni?"

"I feel like, people that are retarded deserve the same respect and dignity as everybody else. But people who pretend to be retarded, like that girl, deserves what Noire's doing to them." Uni pointed at K-Sha, who WAS NOW retarded due to the accident.

"Yes." Kei nodded and watches K-Sha. She is cutting the grass with scissors, Noire hitting her head with a toy bat, telling her to go faster.