Chapter 1

12th May 2009

Dear diary,

It was yesterday, when mum left. She said she'll never come back,but to be honest I don't care. She lied. She lied to us. She said she was 'sorry'but I don't believe her, not this time, she can say it as much as she likes, but she never means it and she never will. So now she is gone with her new 'boyfriend' and she has left us.

Now it's just dad, Ryan, Karl, Sara and me. Sara is my younger sister. She has always been a fighter she slapped Ryan last week, he's still got a purple, blue bruise next to his eye, for a 12 years old she slaps a pretty hard. About a month ago she kicked Karl in the stomach, the bruise is still bright purple, but she acts hard but sometimes, I swear I can hear her cry herself to sleep. Sometimes I don't know if it is actually think it's her crying, but it is Sara, I know it is, and it hurts me so much. I just want to tell someone, but can't because dad is always working and well I never really get to Ryan or Karl, as Ryan is always with his friends and Karl is always out. Out where I don't know, sometimes I wonder if he even knows. I don't truth Karl. I know I should because he is my older brother, but I don' I'm just paranoid, because I have never many people, but when I do they usually hurt me so much that I can't trust them or aphone again. I say 'they' I mean mum. She left when I need her the most.

This the 5th time she has left and she always comes back. So give it ten days, she'll be back. But this time I hope Dad doesn't take her back again, like he always does. I don't understand why he keeps taking her back, but when I ask him he just say that when I'm older and in love I will understand why. But he been hurt so many times, it's painful. I don't know how you can let someone ruin your life so much and still love them, it crazy and stupid. I hope I never see her again but I know I will. I hate her. She has ruined my life so many times. She keeps coming back and she never realise that every time she breaks my heart. She only cares about herself. She says she 'loves' us but I wonder, I wonder if she even knows the meaning of the word 'love'. I hate her; I know I shouldn't because she is my mum. But I do. If she ever comes back and Dad takes her back, I am leaving.

Erin Noble