Inevitable desire
Sometimes feelings have a tendency to sneak up on you. It's like a small seed planted somewhere inside, so tiny and well hidden it could go unnoticed for weeks. Maybe even longer. But sooner or later this seed will grow into a plant, spreading its roots further into the body until there is no escape, until you stop denying its presence and accept the fact that it is now a part of you.
For Cana, this is exactly how it happened. She couldn't even remember where it all started, there was not a particular moment where she could recall herself stop seeing Lucy as her friend and start longing for something more. All she knew was that the blonde beauty made her feel things she hadn't felt for anyone. It wasn't just a matter of lust or want, it was stronger than that. Purer, somehow.
She did love Lucy as a friend. She smiled thinking about the way they could talk about everything, knowing she would never have to prove anything to be accepted. She wouldn't have to pretend being something she was not, Lucy took her as she was, with all the flaws and broken pieces (including an unhealthy relationship towards alcoholic beverages).
But recently other emotions had risen to the surface, demanding to be felt. Cana had tried to push them down, steering her thoughts in other directions. Occasionally she was successful, but most times she had to execute plan B: drink enough beer until every thought was drowned together with her sanity.
This particular morning she woke up with an annoying headache from last night's drinking session. The memories from the evening before were vague, she could barely remember anything other Mira Jane asking her, with a kind, caring and slightly worried tone, if a 15th beer really was a good idea. Cana had snatched the drink from Mira's hand with a confident smile, taking it as a challenge. Everything after that was completely dark.
"I should probably get up, I don't even know what time it is", she thought to herself. She turned her head slowly to avoid causing unnecessary pain and then threw a quick look at the alarm clock. She found out the time to be 10.27 am.
"Well, better get my ass up and show my face at the guild before they report me missing or something" she said out loud, even though there was no one there to hear.
She got up and moved to the bathroom where she couldn't avoid the mirror hanging inconveniently, (or conveniently, depending on the day) above the zinc. The reflection of a mess she didn't want to admit was herself in her current condition stared back at her. A shower was most definitely needed. Without wasting any time she threw away the little clothing she was wearing in one sweep and then stepped into the shower before the water was even wormed up.
As the cold water gently found its way down her body and started heating up her mind drifted away. The possibility of seeing Lucy later that same day both frightened and excited her. Small butterflies started to spread and multiply inside her stomach. She closed her eyes and pictured Lucy's smiling, slightly blushing face behind her eyelids. The butterflies spread throughout her whole body and soon she felt as if all of her skin was vibrating.
She reached for the liquid soap on the floor and poured a decent amount in her hand. While her hands began to evenly clean her different body parts she closed her eyes again. Suddenly the pace of her movements slowed down. For a moment she pretended the hands caressing her skin wasn't her own, but Lucy's. A quiet moan escaped her parted lips and the hands searching her body became more eager. She let the fingertips of her right hand lightly brush over her breasts as the other continued down towards her inner thigh and further...
"Gaaah what am I doing? What am I thinking? This is insane!" The spell was broken. Her hands belonged to herself once again and she lowered the temperature of the water drastically, almost desperate to flush away all of the excitement she just awoke. "It will never happen Cana. Get over it. Lucy is not into you. She is straight. 100 % hetero. O. Why can't you get that crucial fact into your freakin head?!" Still talking to herself she stepped out of the shower and got dressed. She decided to take a walk to the guild while she calmed down and let her hair dry at the same time.
Roughly an hour later, with her thick hair still damp, she entered the guild as silently as possible to avoid attention. It quickly proved to be a wasted effort since the volume of people talking, screaming and laughing was as high as always.
The first thing that caught her eye was the golden ponytail she figured belonged her favorite celestial mage. Lucy was sitting down at a table with her back turned towards the entrance and therefore Cana felt free to rest her eyes on her friend a little bit longer than what would seem appropriate. She traced the curve of her back up and down, imagined how it would feel to actually touch it.
"Ey, Cana! Did you fall asleep standing up or do you just find Lucy's clothes weirder than usual?" At once she became aware of herself and she could feel her face becoming worm as she quickly looked away and tried to act normal. She silently prayed they couldn't tell how embarrassed she was.
There was no question about who the voice belonged to, the question was rather how Cana could have missed seeing Natsu sitting so close to Lucy, his pink wisp of hair almost touching her face. He was sitting right next to her left side and across the table they were accompanied by Gajeel and Levy, everyone involved in a quite hectic card game.
"Oh, hi Cana! I was just wondering when you were going to show up! Do you want to keep us company? We're in the middle of a game but as soon as we're done you can join!" Lucy said with a smile.
"Hey, eyes on the cards princess, we don't want to lose to those idiots! Remember what we're playing about" Natsu interrupted. Lucy just rolled her eyes and pretended he hadn't said anything.
"Uhm, yeah sure... What do you mean 'playing about'?" Cana asked as neutral as possible. "Did you make a bet or something?"
"You bet we did!" Gajeel answered with a presumptuous smile, overly confident in his capability to win.
"Losers pay for drinks tonight!" Levy clarified. "It's me and Gajeel against Lucy and Natsu".
"Oh" was all Cana could bring herself to say. It sounded very much like a double date to her and she suddenly felt very much misplaced and in the way of something she was clearly not a part of.
"Eh, I just remembered, I have to… um… go do something..." She stuttered without being able to hide a stroke of envy in her voice.
"What? But Cana, you just came? We haven't even..." Cana didn't stay to hear the rest of that sentence. Lucy's voice got mixed up and drained out by all the loud noises coming from all the other guild members as she turned around and walked away as fast as she could. Without causing suspicion, that was (which she probably did anyway). She even noticed Mira Jane looking at her from the bar counter with concern as she escaped.
It wasn't normal to just leave in the middle of a sentence like that. And besides, it was rude. What was wrong with her? Would Lucy think less of her now? No, she was busy being love drunk and having a good time with Natsu. She had surely already moved on to playing poker, leaning her head closer to that stupid dragon slayer, close enough to feel each other's body heats trough the fabric of their clothes.
She felt desperate to get away, just somewhere she could be alone. Where she could breathe and regain control of her thoughts. It could be anywhere, really. Without knowing where she was headed she exited the guild hall and entered through a door on the short side of the building. She looked around and found herself in the girls' locker room. As the door shut behind her everything became peacefully quiet.
She walked further into the room and picked out a bench (behind a row of lockers to make sure she couldn't be seen), where she sat down. She could distinguish the scent of sweat blended with different sorts of perfume as she took a deep breath all the way down her lungs. She held it there for a few seconds, just to let the air out with a big sigh. Her head felt less clouded already.
"Cana? You there?" Lucy's voice echoed between the walls.
What? No, no, no! Lucy came looking for her? Cana was not in a condition where she could act normal. What if she accidently revealed something that made Lucy understand how she felt for her? It would be the end of their friendship, she could not let that happen.
Her heart started beating insanely fast and she searched the room for somewhere to hide. The utility room, a few meters away, would have to do. She slinked in and closed the door without a sound. The lack of windows made it impossible for her to see anything, but she managed to sit down on the floor without tearing anything down from the shelves. She held her breath and tried not to let claustrophobia hit her because of the narrow space.
"Cana, I know you are in here somewhere. I saw you." Lucy tried. When nothing happened she tried again. "Is something wrong? I hope you didn't feel left out when we were playing cards, I mean I know it's your thing... But we really didn't mean anything by it! You know you would kick our asses anytime in any card game. You're still coming tonight, right? Please? Cana say something!"
What was she talking about? Did she really think they offended her by playing poker without her? Just because she usually was the one seen with cards in her hands (when they weren't occupied by a drink of course) it didn't mean she would care if other people played without her. Silly Lucy. It was so far away from the truth she almost let out a laugh. Lucy was way too concerned with other people's feelings sometimes, even though that was one of all the things Cana loved about her.
Wait, what was it she said about tonight? Did she mean tonight as 'tonight on her double date with Natsu, Gajeel and Levy'? No, that couldn't be it. They hadn't even said anything about a double date, even though it seemed pretty obvious to Cana that was the case. The knot in her stomach grew a little bigger and she hugged her knees tight. The sudden urge to laugh was quickly forgotten.
A moment of silence passed and Cana almost started to believe that Lucy had given up and left. Just as she was about to stand up and peek through the door the handle was pushed down and the door was swept open dramatically. A strong light hit her eyes and blinded her. In the door opening was Lucy, the contrast between light and darkness made her blonde hair glow and she looked more like a fairy than ever. Breathtaking. It was the only thought she could separate from all the different things she felt in that moment.
"Cana! Are you okay? No, you don't have to answer that, I can tell you're not." Lucy said as she closed the door behind them. The area was too small, it barely fit them both, so when Lucy sat down she had to separate her legs and place them on each side of Cana, forcing their heads closer than Cana could ever remember they had been before. Not like this anyway. If she wanted she could touch Lucy's nose with her own, she could even feel her breath on her mouth. Everything started spinning, her heartbeats were so loud she was sure Lucy could hear them. Her chest burst with desire. She felt a need to close the few millimeters of space between them. Fast. They were not close enough, even though they had probably never been closer.
Lucy placed a hand on her shoulder and she felt as if an electric pulse was sent through her whole body. She was paralyzed. She didn't even dare to blink. Everything was happening in slow-motion and it felt like an eternity until someone finally broke the silence.
"Lucy, what... Why... I'm fine, this is totally unnecessary! I just..."
"Are you sure? You know I'd listen if you'd want to talk about it! I'm your friend, Cana, that's what friends are for."
Cana felt like the words hit her in the stomach like a punch. She pressed down the tears building up in the corner of her eyes, only one managed to escape down her cheek. Of course they were friends. Only friends. Lucy would never see her any differently. Cana had never felt more stupid.
Lucy raised her hand and gently wiped the tear away from Cana's face. But she didn't remove her hand after it was gone, she let it rest there as she gathered a few curls of dark hair covering her friends eyes behind her ear with her other hand. Their gazes met, but not a word was spoken. Cana couldn't tell if she was the one who leaned in closer, or if it was Lucy, or maybe both, but what she was sure of was that the tips of their noses were now touching. Time froze. Heated breaths were exchanged. Lips so close, yet painfully far away. The butterflies in her stomach were not butterflies anymore, more like ticking bombs waiting to explode in a firework of passion.
Out of the blue the door to the limited space was ripped open with a bang. The blinding light broke the spell of the moment, whatever it had been. Natsu was suddenly all over them, screaming: "Heeeey, I could smell you guys were in here! What are you up to? I can't allow you having fun without me! Are we playing hide and seek? Who's counting?"
Cana was too shocked to move, even less speak. To her surprise she saw a redness spread on Lucy's face. She looked away from Cana's questioning eyes and pushed Natsu away as she answered him. "You idiot! Go play hide and seek with someone else. Otherwise I might declare our win invalid and let you pay for all the drinks by yourself tonight at the party.
"Wait, a party? What are you talking about?" Cana asked.
"You didn't forget, did you? It's the annual celebration that another year has passed, you know, the 'End of vacation and let us have some fun before the missions starts coming in again' party" Natsu excitedly stated.
Right, she had completely forgotten. Every year the third weekend in august when their vacation was coming to an end they had made it tradition to start off the new work year with a big party. It was something every guild member was looking forward to, she couldn't believe she hadn't remembered such a big happening.
"Shit, I must have gotten the date mixed up or something." Cana admitted.
"But you're coming, right?" Lucy asked, with an insecurity in her voice that wasn't like her.
"I… I guess so?" Cana answered nervously.
Lucy replied with a smile and then got up and left with Natsu running ahead.
For a while Cana just sat there, unable to get up, her sight fixed to the wall. She tried to process what had just occurred but the flood of emotions still circulating through her made it impossible to think clearly. Instead she rose on shaky legs and stepped out of the utility room and continued towards the door which lead back to the guild hall.
Once she left the locker room and looked around aimlessly as if in a dream, she discovered a familiar face waving at her to come closer from the other side of the hall. It was Mira, waiting with open arms, embracing her in a tight hug. Cana passively noticed how she let herself relax and buried her face in Mira's neck, hidden behind a curtain of violet strokes of hair.
"Sit down, talk to me."
"I don't know wha-"
"Don't even try to play dumb with me sweetie, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I can see how you look at her, I mean only an idiot wouldn't be able to figure it out. The question is rather how Lucy hasn't..."
"Schhhh!" Cana interrupted. "What if someone – or worse, what if she hears you!"
"Oh please, I'm not stupid. She just left with Levy, they talked about getting ready for tonight or something. Who do you think I am? Natsu?" Mira chuckled with pretended disgust.
"I'm sorry Mira, it's just… I can't afford to let her know, I don't want to let it affect our friendship. She is too much of a precious friend to me."
Mira was silent for a while as she poured up a bottle of beer and put it down in front of the distressed brunette.
"Oh honey, it already has. You act differently around her, you see her in a different way. Of course it's going to affect your friendship."
"But, if I just let it pass, it will go back to how it's always been. I'll get over it. Right?" She said without any sign of surety.
"I don't know Cana. Only time can tell. Are you sure you don't want to come clean and let her know how you feel? Who knows, it might be just what it takes to make her see you in a new light."
"With all the attention she gets from the boys I think my chances are pretty low. She's practically married to Natsu already, not to mention Gray and Loke. Everyone seem to want her. I can't compete with them." Cana let out another sigh and took a big sip from the beer.
"Well, you don't see her giving them the same attention back, do you? It's not like she's got a boyfriend or anything. Don't make up lame excuses just because you're afraid."
Slightly offended Cana answered "Afraid?! I'm not afraid, I'm telling you, she just doesn't see me that way! She plays for the other team!"
Without saying a word Mira just looked at her, arms crossed over her chest, raising one eyebrow to really show how unnecessary it was to state the obvious.
With a dull voice and eyes staring down in her drink she finally said "Fine, I'm afraid. And I have no idea what to do about it."
"Here's what you're going to do. You're going to accompany me to the mall, pick out a cute outfit, then head over to my place and let me do your hair and makeup, drink some more and then you'll make your move later tonight. Sounds good?"
Cana contemplated the offer for a minute without being able to come up with a good reason not to say yes. She was truly blessed with the best friends she could ever ask for.
"Yeah, I could cope with that." A warm, fuzzy feeling started to grow in her stomach as anticipation was building up, and they smiled quietly in unity.
Cana and Mira Jane spend a good two hours running around the mall. They went from store to store, trying on different types of clothes, walked in every kind of high heels just to get even more trouble deciding what would look best with the outfit they finally decided on. Apart from the revealing top Cana usually wore she now purchased a skintight dress ending just above the knees. Instead of exposing her chest the clothing was low-cut far down her back, showing off her slimmed figure and giving her curves the justice they deserved. To match the dark fabric of the dress they agreed on a regular pair of black pumps, elegant and classic.
"Wow. I'm speechless, no one is going to be able to take their eyes off you tonight. Cana, you look simply gorgeous."
Cana blushed lightly. "You think?" She said as she did a little pirouette, wanting Mira to inspect every angle of her to make sure she looked alright from all directions.
"I don't think. It's a fact."
They continued to Mira's apartment where they got ready together while listening to music and small-talked. Cana was actually able to relax and not think about anything else than what was happening in the moment for a while, which was well needed. She enjoyed the sensation of Mira's hands playing with her hair before her friend settled with a simple hairstyle, curls tied up in an organized mess. At the same time Cana helped Mira to pick out a dress for her to wear. (They decided on a long gown in a thin fabric with the color fading from pink to white, matching Mira's joyful personality).
Once they were fully dressed, hair and make-up finished and shoes were put on Mira Jane stood back and admired her work.
"I think we're ready to leave." She said with a determined and satisfied nod.
Suddenly a wave of anxiety washed over Cana. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and the tight fitted dress felt itchy and wrong for a reason she couldn't put her finger on. Then she realized.
"Mira, I'm not really sure this is me."
"Don't be shy, you deserve being in the center of attention once in a while"
"No, that's not it. I'm just not this kind of girl. I can't thank you enough for helping me, I'm beyond grateful, trust me, but I think I have to dress down a bit to feel comfortable in my own skin."
"I understand. You'll look just as gorgeous in whatever you wear. Do you want to borrow anything?"
"No, it's okay. I'll just make a quick stop at home, it won't take long. Meet you there?"
"Sounds good" Mira answered kindly.
They walked their separate ways and Cana hurried back home to not waste any time. The stress of not being too late made her unable to think twice about what she was going to wear. She ended up putting on the regular top she always wore combined with a simple, black skirt. She kept the new heels on after a moment of consideration since she liked the way they made her legs appear longer and sexier.
"Much better" she whispered silently as she locked the door behind her and started walking back.
The party was held at the guild, but it was barely recognizable as the same place the left just a couple of hours ago. Wendy and Lisanna had been responsible for the decorations and they had not held back the least. Wherever Cana turned her head there were banners, balloons, different colored stripes hanging from the roof and even magic glitter floating around in the air which made everything even more spectacular. She took a mental note to let both Lisanna and Wendy know what a wonderful job they had done with the preparations.
Everyone had dressed up to their teeth, there were suits and dresses to be seen in different colors, patterns and combinations all over the place.
Mira had run in to Erza the moment she walked in and the two women were already busy catching up. Cana didn't feel like bothering them so she moved away to the bar where she planned on getting herself something to drink instead. The party seemed like it had already been going on for a while since empty bottles, cans and shot glasses were standing everywhere on the counter. The volume in the hall was, if possible, even higher than usual, and she suspected the influence of alcohol had a lot to do with it.
She figured she could help whoever was responsible for the bar with the cleaning before she started drinking herself. She assumed it was a hectic job to take on since most members of Fairy Tail were quite big drinkers, and plus she knew she wouldn't be of much help after she had consumed a few beers, so she might as well do some good while she could.
When the area looked representable she finally grabbed a drink from the refrigerator. Before she had opened the bottle she was holding someone screamed behind her back.
"Cannnna! More drinks! We… Buy! Here money! Another round of shots, pleaz...se! Gehee!" A highly intoxicated Gajeel was manifested before her. He grabbed her wrist and clumsily put some crumpled bills in her hand.
"You started the fun without me, huh? I can't believe you let me start this far behind!" She swept the beer in one gulp and got a pleased grin from the dragon slayer in return. She grabbed another beer as she prepared the tray of shots for her impatient customer and she had finished that one too before the shots were even ready.
"You need help carrying those?" She asked more out of politeness than an actual request. Gajeel had apparently stopped listening to her anyway since he was already walking, somewhat straight, back towards a table where a big group of people had gathered. A bit annoyed she brought the tray with her and followed her unconsciously provoking friend.
Around the table sat nearly all of her closest friends in a circle, laughing and yelling as they were involved in some sort of drinking game with cards. The sight made her smile and she took a moment to appreciate how much she cared for each and every one of them.
As she looked around to find a free space where she could sit down she accidently locked eyes with Lucy. Neither turned their focus away this time and as she sank deeper down in the chocolate colored gaze she lost all ability to speak. How could her friend have this effect on her? The blonde was wearing, from what she could see, a red strapless dress, leaving little to the imagination of what was hiding down under.
"Hi, Cana!" the smiling blonde greeted her. "You look beautiful!"
That comment made her happier than it should have. Cana despised herself for letting her poor nerves shine through when she answered "Who, me? Not like you. I mean, in a friendly way of course, uh, one woman to another… You know? You look great, too, as always"
Lucy simply let out a light hearted laugh while she continued to shuffle the cards she just received from Erza who sat next to her.
"Do you want to join the game, Cana?"
Before Cana had time to answer Erza interrupted. "Come on Lucy, we don't have all night! Speed up a little, will ya?"
"Sure, I'm in!" Cana answered Lucy as she forced herself down between an unwilling Juvia and a relieved looking Gray.
The rules of the game were simple, Cana knew them well since she had played it a hundred times before. One at a time the participants had to draw a single card from the pile in the middle. Each card had a separate meaning, for example, if you drew the number 2 everyone had to play "I have never" and the people who had done whatever the cardholder suggested had to drink. Number 10 meant that you had to pick one person who had to drink whenever you drank. The knight allowed you to force someone else to drink. If you picked number 6 everyone had to rime on whatever word the previous person had said until someone failed and had to drink, et cetera, et cetera. In other words, it was a game to make you drunk.
"Okay, I'll z-zz-start!" Gajeel shouted and drew a card. A two was folded up on the table. Everyone waited, slightly amused, on what the wasted dragon slayer was going to say.
"I HAVE NEVER… KISSED A BOY!"
As every female mage around the table lifted their glasses both Freed and, surprisingly Laxus, swallowed a mouthful of beer while they stared at one another.
"What? A man has needs, quit glaring at me like that" Laxus aggressively mumbled as Freed blushed and hid behind his green mane.
Next in line was Natsu who carefully picked a card. Number 10 was exposed as he turned the card around.
"Ayeeee, I have to pick a drinking partner, hehehe! Lucy, you know you're the obvious choice!"
"Really, Natsu? You don't think you've made me drink enough already? You better not lose too many challenges or I'm gonna beat your ass!"
The game continued, and despite Lucys warning Natsu was not the sharpest player in the group. He lost challenge after challenge and both he and Lucy became more and more affected by the alcohol they continually poured down their throats.
A while later when it was Lucy's turn number 2 was drawn again. The alcohol had apparently made her brave and she showed no sign of shame as she talked.
"I have never thought about kissing someone present here tonight."
As soon as she finished the sentence she took a sip of her own drink. Cana didn't know if she was mistaken, it could be the result of an illusion created by her intoxicated mind, but she thought she saw Lucy throwing a look at her as she drank. What if… No, it could just as well be Natsu Lucy wanted to kiss. Or Gray. Or even Laxus for that matter, he had a rumor to be popular among the opposite sex. Even though he apparently preferred people of the same gender when it came to kissing.
Nearly every person drank. It wasn't too surprising, really, but still the tension in the room increased to a whole new level. People were either blushing or locking their eyes in a specific person, depending on how courageous they felt.
This was the turning point of the night where everyone went from tipsy-drunk to wasted-drunk in the course of a few minutes. (Some people more affected than others). Time had passed faster than they had anticipated and Cana was genuinely surprised to find out that it was already passed midnight. People started leaving, two and two together or alone. Gajeel and Levy left tightly wrapped around each other, probably heading home to one of them or maybe checking in to a hotel nearby. Freed and Laxus left stumbling out the door, already making out, not caring about who saw.
Cana figured the party was as good as over and she decided to leave herself. As she got up she noticed Lucy across the table, face down and half asleep.
"Gosh, you really can't handle this amount of booze, can you?" She asked out in the air without expecting an answer.
Since there was no one around sober enough to pay attention to anyone but themselves Cana figured she had to help Lucy home somehow. She was defiantly not in a shape where she could walk by herself so Cana walked over and cautiously put the other girl's arm around her shoulders for support. As she tried to get her friend on her feet she seemed to momentarily regain consciousness.
"Mhh… Cana? That you? Sleepy… So tired… Need bed… now!"
"Yeah, Lucy, we're going to get you to your bed as soon as possible. Just hang on, alright? Can you walk?"
The celestial mage didn't answer but slowly took a couple of steps forward. They didn't move fast and they had to stop a few times since Lucy got the idea to lay down on the ground and make herself comfortable for the night right there. Cana soon realized they were never going to make it to Lucy's apartment in this pace before dawn and since her own place was just a block away she decided to bring her friend home with her. Shortly after she led the clumsy drunken blonde through the door and into her house.
"Lucy, we're here now, you can take the bed. Its right over there" she said and pointed in the right direction. Her friend had sobered up a bit thanks to the long walk home and she was able to transport herself to the bed fine by herself. As soon as she stood in front of the welcoming sheets she threw herself freely on top of them.
"Ahhhhh! Finally!"
"I'm gonna grab some water, you want some?"
"Yes pleaseee! You're sooo sweet, thank you!"
When Cana came back with the two glasses of water Lucy was already asleep, fully dressed, on top of the still made bed. She put one of the glasses down on the floor for her friend to drink when she woke up, then she picked up a blanket to place over the exposed, neat, cold looking body. As she was about to turn around and go make herself comfortable on the couch a hand suddenly grabbed her wrist and prevented her from moving.
"Don't leave. Can't you sleep here instead?"
One sentence, so clear, yet Cana doubted she had actually heard the correct words coming out of Lucy's mouth.
"Please?"
"Wh-what? Are you sure?"
"Of course I am, come here" Lucy said as she dragged Cana down on the bed closer to her. The only thing was that Lucy had poor control of her own movements in her current state and the sudden motion made Cana fall right on top of her friend. The brunette didn't dare to move. She held her breath as she looked into the eyes of the most beautiful person she knew. This was one of her closest friends, but also the girl she was deeply in love with. There was no point denying it anymore.
"I think I'm in love with you, Luce."
It just slipped through her, she never even planned on uttering those specific words, yet they escaped her lips before she even realized what she had said.
Lucy raised her hand and traced the opposite girls' lips with her fingertips. She continued to slowly caress her cheek, cupping it behind her neck and pulled her closer. Cana stopped thinking. She let herself follow Lucy's command and their eyes were looking deeply into the others as they closed the space between them. Finally their lips met in a careful, first kiss. They both moved slowly, curiously tasting the other but not wanting to overstep any boundaries. Lucy moved her hands down Cana's back, pulling her even closer. Cana stroked her hand along with the side of Lucy's face, not being able to control the explosion of feelings taking over her mind and body. She wanted everything of the girl in front of her, she wanted to explore every centimeter, kiss every inch of naked skin she could reach.
The kiss quickly escalated, tongues meeting and playing keenly, their bodies moving against each other faster and needier. God, how Cana had thought about this. How she had longed for this. She felt all the stored desire she had built up the past days letting lose, feeling as much as she could of the body under her.
If she had been sober, she might have convinced herself this was a bad idea. If she had been sober, she might have stopped there, realizing this might be a big mistake. But she wasn't. And at this point she couldn't stop. Therefore she let her lusts get the best of her.
"Nghh…yes…" She picked up a silent moan from Lucy as she left her mouth and continued the kisses down her neck. Just as Cana grabbed the bottom part of Lucy's dress, intending to help her out of it, Lucy's body stiffened. Cana immediately let go of the fabric and stopped with her kisses.
"Lucy, is something wrong?"
"No, not really. It feels good. I just… I haven't been with a girl before, intimately I mean. Actually, to be honest I haven't been with anyone at all. I'm a little bit scared, that's all." Lucy blushed drastically while looking anywhere but at Cana.
"Oh god Lucy, I had no idea! I am so, so sorry! This is all my fault, I shouldn't have moved forward so fast!"
"No, not at all, it was me just as much. But would it be okay if we just, you know, cuddled and went to sleep?"
"Of course, silly!" Cana crawled off her body and laid down beside her. "Do you want me to sleep on the couch? I would be perfectly fine with that."
"Don't be stupid." Lucy answered and hit her in the head with a pillow. They both giggled as they crawled under the cover and then silently fell asleep, side by side.
They morning came soon after they had started dreaming but Cana didn't wake up until far after noon. She forced her eyes open, cursing the light coming from the big window she had forgotten the previous night to cover with curtains.
As she sat up in the bed she noticed the space beside her was empty. In fact, not a sound was coming from any place in the apartment.
"Lucy?" Cana yelled, higher than what was necessary.
No answer.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" She screamed as she threw herself back on to the bed and covered her face under the pillow. Lucy had left. The fact stung like a hundred needles, piercing through her body so sharp it caused tears to gather in her eyes. It was all her own fault. She had scared her away. She had been way too much last night. What was wrong with her? Using a drunk girl for her own benefit? She was grossed out, ashamed and filled with guilt. Lucy would never forgive her. She probably lost a dear friend for good, and there was no one to blame but herself.
Then, in the middle of Cana's self-punishment, the door was swung open and in came a smiling, wet haired Lucy.
"Hi, you're awake! Sorry, I took the liberty of using your shower, I hope you don't mind. You were asleep so I couldn't ask. Here, I brought breakfast! You want coffee?"
Cana was too shocked to answer. She accepted the take-away coffee mug while she stared at Lucy with her mouth wide open, completely out of words.
"So, do you want to do something later? The weather is nice, I thought a picnic would be fun. Or maybe a trip to the beach?"
"P-picnic? Beach? Y-You came back? I- I thought I scared you away. I thought…"
"Scared me away, what are you talking about? Dummy! Just because I prefer to take things slow, it doesn't mean I'm going to run away, wacko. I thought you knew me!"
Cana felt happiness and relief wash over her and a wide smile spread between her ears as she started sipping her coffee and grabbed a scone from the bag Lucy had brought.
"So… You want to keep doing this? I mean, like, see each other?"
"Of course! If you do, too?
"Do you even have to ask? Picnic it is then!"
Lucy leaned in and awkwardly placed a kiss on the brunette's cheek, which caused them both to blush and looked away for a second.
"Guess we're both new at this, huh?" Cana confirmed.
"Yeah, I guess, but I'm excited too, even though it's a bit scary! Aren't you?"
"You have no idea."
The End