She died on a Monday.
It was snowing. Bobby Goren held her in his arms and that was when Alexandra Eames knew she was ending. Her partner was cradling her as if she were a precious thing made of spun glass, and he would never do that unless there was something terribly, terribly wrong. Eames figured her dying would fall under that category.
Bobby pressed one had into the gaping hole in her chest, just below her heart, where the bullet had torn through her and it occurred to her that this was the most intimate touch they had ever shared. Her partner's large hand was cupped against her breast in a macabre parody of a lover's embrace and Eames would have laughed if she hadn't been so aware of her own blood filling her lungs.
Her chest hurt. Every breath was fire and she was cold. She was dying and she was so fucking cold that she would have screamed except she had lost that ability when she'd felt the bullet crack through her ribs, shattering them into splinters. Her lungs were filling fast. Too fast. Eames knew the distant sirens she heard would never make it in time.
"B-Bobby." She whispered. Her voice was thick.
Bobby looked down at her. His eyes were wide and he looked for the entire world like a lost little boy.
"If I'd known…this was what it took to…get your arms…around me I'd have… done it sooner, Goren."
"Darling, I should have done this a long time ago."
Eames chuckled and ended in a wet cough. Bobby's arm tightened spasmodically around her. She smiled at him through the tears that were beginning to gather in her eyes. Leave it to Bobby Goren to finally admit his love for her then go and make a mess of it.
"All this time…all this… and the best you could… come up with… was 'darling'?
Goren's chuckle came out a strangled sob. "Well, what can I say Eames? I didn't think you would take too kindly to sweetheart. Still, this wasn't how I pictured this going."
"So...how?"
Goren shrugged. "Usually there was candlelight and wine involved. Sometimes I thought about blurting it out over beer and pizza. I always called you darling, and even in my fantasies you laughed."
The ambulance was close now. Close enough for Eames to hope, but there were things that needed to be said just in case. Her hands tightened on his suit jacket. His pretty Armani suit was covered in her blood and Eames felt like crying all over again. She loved him in those damned suits.
"Bobby, it's…okay." She could feel the blood leaking out of the corner of her mouth, and rested her head against him, fighting for enough consciousness to say goodbye. "No regrets…do you hear me? This is…this is not on you."
Goren swallowed tightly and nodded, not trusting his voice.
She would have said more, but the ambulance had arrived and they took her from him and Eames was suddenly angry that she would have to die alone among strangers when she could have been dying on the street with her partner by her side.
There were voices around her speaking in loud, urgent tones, and Eames wanted to protest, to make them stop and let her out and die in peace, but then there was a needle in her arm and everything went black and her last living thought was of how fucking cold she felt.