~One-Shot~
Sweet and Sour
I'll Keep You My Dirty Little Secret.
Who Has to Know?
When We Live Such Fragile Lives,
It's The Best Way We Survive.
Who Has to Know –
The Way She Feels Inside;
Those Thoughts I Can't Deny?
These Sleeping Thoughts Won't Lie,
And All I've Tried to Hide…
It's Eating Me Apart.
You're The Only One That Needs to Know.
~Dirty Little Secret, by All American Rejects
Disclaimer: Me No Own; You No Sue.
Kotoko's P.O.V.
Candy had always been my weakness.
Chocolate was sweet, thick, and heavy enough to cover up my sadness. I loved chocolate kisses, chocolate chip ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, fudge brownies, and anything with that sweet, decadent taste to it. My tastes changed with age and broadened to include other types of candy. Sweet candy or sour candy, I liked it all – colored gumdrops, fruit chews, lemon drops, peppermints, and bubblegum.
Years passed, but the sadness remained and that love of sweets stayed the same, and in time, I started to gain weight. My breasts changed first, but since that was an expected side effect of puberty, I did not worry too much. When I next weighed myself, however, I was suddenly forced to acknowledge that I had changed, and not in the best way…
My waist lost its slender lines, becoming curvy and rounded with fat. My thin thighs expanded outward like hot air balloons, blowing up. My upper arms were just like bat wings, and I could feel the fat shift if I lifted the wings – arms – in the air. My face gained back its old childhood chubbiness, particularly in the cheeks. Everywhere, I could feel it rolling, and moving, and shifting around like gelatin. Fat; I was so incredibly fat. Fat, fat, fat!
Violet irises stared into the mirrors that lined the ballroom walls. They glanced slowly up and down the reflection of the girl primly standing there behind the glass, like Alice from Through the Looking Glass. I put my palm to the glass, letting it hover just above the clear surface, in thought. My hands and fingers were slender, like the lower portion of my arms and legs. I worried, though, that the fitting dress I had picked did not cover up my imperfections – the thicker thighs and softer stomach. I wanted to look beautiful, but…
Sadly, I probably looked puffy in the long white dress. It hugged at my chest and waist and then flowed out only at the knees, showing only the toes of the silver heels I had paired with the dress. My earrings and jewelry, all silver with amethyst settings, shimmered brightly in the light of the ballroom, calling attention to my neck and cheeks and wrists, three of the body parts I hated the most. They were too soft.
Kami! How could anybody like me? How could anybody love me? How could somebody fall in love with me?
My Okaa-san agreed with me. So I started exercising in the morning before riding the limousine to school, immediately after leaving school, and before retiring for the evening. I would do some yoga, or run, or practice basic defense until I was worn out and covered in sweat. Sometimes, I would still exercise, moving around and killing calories until I passed out from exhaustion.
Exercise, however, did not get rid of all the fat. Instead, I was even more cumbersome, heavier around the upper arms and thighs. My backside and breasts lost most of their meat, but besides those two places, I still looked swollen and nasty and fat. So I started skipping meals. My old maid eventually figured out that little plan and put her foot down, giving me even richer foods than before. In the end, the only choice I really had to lose the extra weight was to continue exercising, and eating, and…vomiting it back up.
Bulimia…
I developed bulimia.
Bulimia was a medical term that I could define and list the symptoms of if asked in class. I did not, however, automatically connect the term to my symptoms and condition. In fact, I did not think of it as a medical condition at all because, in my eyes, nothing else could have been done. Exercise had not worked. Dieting had not worked. What else could I have done?
As months passed, I finally lost the weight. My throat burned almost constantly, and I had the occasional toothache, but I was skinny again! I could count the ribs under my skin and while doing yoga or my morning stretches, I could bend down and stare straight through both legs because of a very narrow gap. Cheerful could be used to describe my most recent mood. Deliriously happy was more accurate.
My happiness, however, was not to last. My Mother still raged, claiming that I could do better, that I could be skinnier, prettier, smarter, nicer. She made faces at the clothing size I requested, at the small portions I put on my plate, at the number of hours I put in doing yoga or running through the gardens surrounding the Manor. Nothing I did could make her really happy. Nothing I did…could make me really happy.
All the sweetness in life vanished, and only the bitterly sour remained in its wake.
Kami, I was miserable.
Scared…
In desperation, I turned to the only girl that I trusted not tease and bully me. Samantha was a very short, strange, sarcastic, and shy teenage girl, but her love was warm and unconditional. She had lost her entire family. Still, Sammy loved her adoptive family, her friends, and her boyfriend with everything within her. So I trusted her to keep my secret – and to help me.
We spent countless nights together, either at the Hitachiin Manor or my own. If I could not make it there, too sick to travel, Sammy would call and talk to me via cell while I cried about being fat and vomited into the toilet. Even Haruhi and Kiki would call to chat, though neither could get there without a ride from the richer Hitachiin Heiress. If with the other two girls, then Sammy arrived by limousine, but if alone, Sammy would drive her motorcycle to my place and just talk about anything and everything and, eventually, her past – the loss of her family, the orphanage, the depression – came pouring out like rain.
Soon afterward, Haruhi mentioned the passing of her mother, the prelude to her father drinking, questioning his sexuality again, and working hard to support them both. Kiki grumbled at the thought of sharing but reluctantly contributed with the truth of her mother, who had left her family years ago, and the depression that her father suffered from. My own self loathing lessened. And Sammy, Haruhi, Kiki, and I healed together.
Eventually, I learned to love myself and, in turn, I learned to love others.
And then, I began to fall in love with Haninozuka Mitsukuni.
Mitsukuni's P.O.V.
Candy had always been my weakness.
A Ninja was not supposed to have weaknesses. A Haninozuka Ninja was not supposed to have weaknesses. He was supposed to be better that all the rest, but I could not help it! Something about candy was warm, sweet, and forever familiar, like the love of family. Above all else, I loved candy, and I loved family.
Subconsciously, I probably connected the taste of the good candy to good childhood memories because when I was a small boy – well, somewhat smaller – Okaa-san would buy these special little fruit bites for Chika or me as a treat for doing well during practice in the Dojo. My little brother, Yasuchika, hated them. He followed the Ninja Code set by Otou-sama and viciously complained each time I deliberately disobeyed those rules, but I didn't care. Because I loved candy, and if Chika hated it that much, then I would take his share. His loss!
Father did not appreciate the lack of willpower or concern. He thought that with each bite, with each thought of sweets, that I was proving myself to be soft of heart, mind, and body. He then claimed that I would not make a good Heir to the Haninozuka Clan if I continued eating only sweets and partaking in the finer things in life. My Okaa-san argued with him, telling him to permit me a childhood. Why should I be forced to act older than I really was at only eight?
After putting her in her place, Otou-sama resumed his rigorous training and, burning with anger and confusion, I followed suit. My little brother had not ever strayed from the Path of the Ninja and had always followed the demands of the Ninja Code. He was a diligent pupil and, at four, proved to be advanced beyond his years. After ignoring the Code for that long, I should have struggled to catch on and advance. I, however, was a natural. Martial arts were as easy as inhaling fresh air for me. Otou-sama could not have been prouder. Okaa-san, though…
My Mother began to drift away. I was not stupid – Okaa-san did not hate me and would always love me. What I was slowly becoming – the quiet, calculating martial artist – really seemed to frighten her, however, and made her stay quiet in the sidelines. She tried only once more to soften my training and Ninja Code. Afterwards, Otou-sama did not let her back in the Dojo.
Grandmother listened to her worries and sent along another gift. For my ninth birthday, I opened the expensive gift wrapping while expecting another dull textbook about the history of ninjas and samurai in Japan (I would give it to Takashi) or pair of expensive clothes. Instead, I opened it to find the most beautifully handmade gift in the whole wide world peeking out from within the white tissue paper. A small stuffed bunny stared through her black button eyes and smiled through white stitched lips. I named her Usa-chan. My first real friend…
At ten, I continued carrying Usa-chan everywhere with me. She was my constant companion. Otou-sama was angry, completely infuriated by the sudden return of my (supposedly unhealthy) obsession with sweets and cute things. Chika was scared and jealous of my progress. There was no good balance between the two, and thus – I decided to continue with them both. I obsessed about cute things, and I excelled at martial arts. No one argued because of the unnatural skill, strength, and leadership that I displayed at only ten. It was agreed that – at twenty five, if not sooner given the natural ability – I would inherit the Lordship of the Haninozuka Clan.
As the years passed, therefore, I tried to be more mature, and be less picky, and began to experiment with different tastes. I liked most foods, but I always seemed to return to the sweeter ones. My thoughts – Why fight the inevitable? So I expanded those horizons, adding chocolate, cupcakes, brownies, and other little sweets to that list of favorite foods. I continued eating the traditional meals of rice, fish, and etcetera, but at the conclusion of each of these meals – breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snack – I would treat myself to candy or sweets.
And then, I stumbled into the World of Cake.
Cake was my ultimate weakness!
That – and Kotoko…
Kotoko's P.O.V.
My fiancé, Mitsukuni, was a very unique, sweet, kind, and protective young man. He was a wealth of knowledge and strength but only used it for good, unleashing his full fury only if worried about somebody threatening his family and friends. A Ninja, Mitsukuni solemnly recited, protected those that could not protect themselves. Like the Morinozukas, the Haninozuka Clan would give their life to protect their spouses and children, too…
It seemed almost surreal that Mitsukuni would choose me. Of all the girls that loved his cuteness and his sweet laughter, Mitsukuni wanted to court me, a girl that had excellent grades and could play the flute and sing but do absolutely nothing else extraordinary. I was a typical Japanese girl, with black hair, olive colored skin, and dark eyes. If asked, I would claim to be plain, ordinary.
Others, however, blatantly disagreed and claimed the exact opposite. To them, I was a smart, kind, and pretty girl. I was polite and courteous. I was – as my close friend Sammy had also teasingly said – the poster child for the perfect Noblewoman. Haruhi had agreed without a pause, and Kiki had given me a plastic tiara. They thought me wonderful. A Princess…
Why had Sammy-chan, Haruhi-chan, and Kiki-chan not laughed at me? Why had Mitsukuni-kun given me a moment of his time? Why…?
A small hand patted mine, its fingers briefly linking with mine, and I blinked twice in surprise, emerald irises flickering down to find the other person. My friend, Sammy, was now standing beside me. She was wearing white ballet flats and her newest dress, the soft material blue and covered in small, glittery white stars. It brought out her blue eyes, which sparkled with sweet happiness. The American bounced happily about in place, her hips shifting from side to side with the motion, and put her hands behind her back to keep from fidgeting anymore.
"You look really pretty tonight, Kotoko-chan. You always do," Sammy chirped kindly and with a warm smile. She was very open and honest about the compliment, her sincerity shining through her words and her smile. And I could not help but smile back at her.
"Thank you very much, Sammy-chan," I quietly returned, the embers of happiness lighting back up and burning briefly inside my chest. I gestured to the design of her dress and complimented, "Your dress is quite pretty, too, and I think it brings out your eyes."
My friend beamed, her pink lips pulled back far enough that I could catch the barest glimpse of her teeth. She untangled her hands from behind her back and curled them around mine, letting them linger there for a moment. After returning the thanks, Sammy said nothing else, but deep down in her blue irises, I could find understanding and acceptance. To the other girl, I was not Lady Kotoko, the Heiress. I was simply Kotoko. And Sammy liked Kotoko.
"Hey! I see a certain ninja hanging out at the buffet," Sammy suddenly exclaimed, shielding her eyes and squinting at long table parallel to the wall behind the water fountain. The American hummed in thought, solemnly nodded her head, and declared, "Yep, I think I found Waldo."
"Who is Waldo?" I curiously asked the shorter teenage girl, though I really doubted that I would understand her explanation of what would certainly be another reference. My friend did not make them that often anymore. When Sammy did do it, though, I was usually clueless…
"Where is Waldo?" Sammy corrected, smiling brilliantly while still making no sense. She lifted her eyebrows in amusement, obviously expecting that I would not get the reference, and then laughed, "Never mind, Ko-chan. Since your cell phone is turned off, Mitsukuni-kun texted earlier and asked that I search for you! He wanted to check in on you."
Smiling at her continued eccentricity, I patted her hand in thanks and cheerfully said, "Then, I shall head there and greet him in person. Perhaps Mitsukuni-kun would like some company."
Inwardly, I worried that the cute young man might not want anybody else to take note of his fat fiancée. I was much skinnier than I had been at sixteen, but I had gained back enough weight to be considered healthy. According to my physician and the counselors, I was now at the desired weight for this height, but I still had the occasional feeling of doubt. I would glance at Haruhi and Kiki, taking in their slender builds, and down to myself. Then, I would glance at Sammy, who was much heavier and still relatively happy in her body. Most of the feelings of doubt developed not because of other girls, however, but at the thought and sight of Mitsukuni.
Was I skinny enough for him? Was I pretty enough for him? Was I intelligent and interesting enough for him?
All of the Hosts were complete gentlemen and always claimed that I looked absolutely lovely if I visited them in the Third Music Room. They would also take the time to compliment me as our paths crossed out in the halls during the school day, too. Not a one of them would actually take notice of the extra weight that I carried in the chest, waist, and backside. In fact, I seemed to be getting more positive attention – from both genders – than before. Young women asked for beauty tips. Young men asked if I had been signed into an arranged marriage yet. It was…curious.
"Good evening, Kotoko-san. May I have this dance?"
Glancing up at the taller boy, I smiled politely at him and declined, "My apologies, Ren-san, but I am actually here for something sweet to snack on." I briefly curtsied, using the gesture to hide from the surprise in his eyes, and continued to the dessert table. Yes, Ren! Girls did eat!
All of that worry was soon completely forgotten at seeing the delightful spread of tasty and sweet delicacies. There was an enormous platter of lemon bars, at least five tiers each of cookies, and cupcakes, and brownies, and cakes of all varieties. Many of the sweets that I loved graced the seemingly endless desserts table. I gazed happily down at the plate in my palms and then the two closest tiers. Where should I start first – the brownies or cupcakes…?
"My Okaa-san says that eating dessert before dinner will spoil the appetite," Mitsukuni solemnly said while pointedly lifting his eyebrows at the brownie on my plate. The Ninja gave me a very serious look. "It's a no-no…"
"What your mother does not know will not hurt her, Mitsukuni-kun," I giggled lightly at his teasing words and act before leaning down to kiss his forehead. I did not have to lean down quite as much this time because Mitsukuni had finally reached his final growth spurt.
"True!" A calloused hand darted into view and snatched another cookie from the big tier before placing it – shoving it, really – into an open mouth. Mitsukuni hurriedly swallowed the treat. My fiancé then smirked mischievously at me. "May I have a taste of that brownie?"
"Of course you may," I acquiesced while digging into the brownie with the fork, picking it back up, and leaning forward to give him some on my proffered silverware. My fiancé grinned at me.
Instead of leaning forward to take the bite from the fork, however, Mitsukuni placed his palms to my cheeks – and pressed his lips to mine. A soft tongue swiped against my red lips, which had parted at the surprising nature of the kiss, and then slipped inside to caress my own. My fiancé started to pull back, and I hurriedly snapped out of it and returned the kiss to keep him there, arms around his neck and lips pressed to his. I smiled into the kiss.
Mitsukuni tasted sweeter than all of the candy in the world…
Mitsukuni's P.O.V.
I loved candy.
And I loved family.
But I loved Kotoko more.
Kotoko was a very quiet and beautiful girl. She was sweet, polite, and courteous to all of her classmates, regardless of age, gender, or social standing. Nobody would think to say a mean word about her because the girl treated everybody with kindness and respect. Everybody at Ouran High School loved her. Why, then, does Ko-chan have such trouble seeing her own stunning beauty and worth? She is so very pretty, and sweet, and loving. I frowned at Minomoto Ren, who continued to watch her from afar. And Ko-chan is my girl.
"May I have this dance, Ko-chan?" I asked her, silently berating myself for being so eager and kissing the girl before dancing with her. She was a young woman and not a possession, but sometimes, I could not help being so protective of beautiful Heiress.
I pouted.
Kotoko was mine!
"You may," Kotoko sweetly replied, before curling her shoulders and wincing faintly in worry, "although I fear Ren-san will be rather upset that I turned down his invitation to dance and then decided to accept yours…"
My childish personality cheerfully danced back behind closed doors for the moment, and in its place, the more serious and mature side slipped forward to take control. Big brown eyes were narrowed thoughtfully, and I seriously asked, "Is Ren-san bothering you?"
"No, Mitsukuni-kun," Kotoko easily disagreed with me, and while her words had been quick, her heartbeat stayed the same. I could feel its steady beating through her chest, which pressed into mine because of the recent growth spurt that I had in the last three months. We twirled around again.
"Good – because you're mine," I declared, back to pouting childishly at the sweet young woman. She was one of the few people – the few girls – that could really handle my personality changes, obsession with sweets, and abnormal strength without batting an eye. Kotoko was my sweet Candy Princess and, eventually, would become my wife.
No way would I let somebody else take her!
Kotoko's P.O.V.
Life was sometimes sweet and sometimes sour. It could be, hands down, the best feeling in the world to be alive, and other times, I would wish to be back home and lost in memories of better and simpler times, when I was younger. I would wish that I could change something I had said, done, thought to make Okaa-san hate me so much. I would wish, and wish, and wish. Simply wishing, however, did not get me anywhere…
In search of this Happily Ever After, I had learned to wish, to take the sour with the sweet, and all of the little hiccups in between the two.
Chocolate brown eyes stared into mine, and Mitsukuni smiled warmly, his lips pulled back in happiness. He happily hugged his muscular arms over my waist, and not for the briefest of moments did I even once consider being too fat for him. "Where do you want to have the wedding, Ko-chan?"
Slowly, I smiled down at him, and in that moment, I could feel the beginning of the Rest Our Lives. I was cherished and loved by this cute, wonderful Ninja. And I was proud to be his fiancée.
"What do you think about having it at Simply Sweets?" I teasingly asked the Ninja, who bounced around in excitement and pressed his lips to mine again. I kissed him lightly and then hugged him to me.
Mitsukuni grinned happily.
"Perfect!"
***Author's Note***
If You're Reading This Story, Please Know These One-Shots Are In the Same Universe As My OHSHC Story, Picking Up the Pieces.
They Are Extensions of CH 64 - Festivals, Friends, and Fireworks.
Hope you all enjoyed this little side story to Picking Up the Pieces!
None of the lyrics are mine.
Please Read and Review!