You knew this was wrong, yet you felt bad for her. She was criticized most of the time by many people, many asking why she was the leader of muse, and why couldn't it be someone more mature, such as Eli or Umi. The pressure given from Umi did not help either. Honoka was to act as a role model to others, eat healthy, act like a lady, get good grades while at the same time manage muse, Maki thought.
One day, while you two were alone in the clubroom, Honoka asked if she could kiss you, just to see what it felt like. You knew that you were in a relationship with Nico, yet you said yes without thinking. And here she was on top of you, hands pinning your arms down on the table as her head hovered over you.
"Hey, this is okay right?" Honoka asked you once again for reassurance.
"It's fine... J-just hurry up and do it already." You looked away from her.
Nico-chan would understand. You thought to yourself.
Honoka went in and pressed her lips against yours for a mere few seconds before she parts your lips. You grasp her sleeve, she takes this as a signal for "more." As she inches closer to you, you try to imagine it's Nico on top of you. But it's not. And that makes you feel uncomfortable. You were about to stop this until you heard a creak from the door.
The doorknob squeaks, and three people walk in. Eli first, followed by Nozomi who were in the middle of a conversation. They take a glance at the scene, and pause.
"Why aren't you going in?" Nico pushes through the two, only to catch the indecent sight of Honoka on top of you. Bras unclasped, shirts open.
Nico pauses for a good five seconds before she bolts out of the room. You push Honoka off, buttoning your shirt quickly, wanting to run out of the room before Nozomi and Eli stop you. Nozomi motions Eli to run after Nico and Honoka to leave the room while you and Nozomi are the only ones left.
You clench your fists, wanting to get out of this room, aware that Nozomi was the last person you wanted to talk to in this situation. An awkward pause enfolds as Nozomi crosses her arms, with an unpleased look directed towards you.
"Let me go after her." You speak up after the uncomfortable silence.
"Maki-chan. Don't you think you've caused enough damage?"
"It wasn't as if I was trying to hurt her."
"Then what was that?"
"I... you won't understand." Your face turns away from Nozomi, looking at a poster of Bibi on the wall.
"Maybe I don't. But you realize that what you did was wrong. Your "selfless" action was actually selfish. I know you feel bad for Honoka-chan but in the process you lost Nicocchi."
"I'll just apologize to her, she'll understand." You try to reason out your thoughts, hoping that what you say will actually happen.
"If you were going to hurt her, you might as well have not gone out with her in the first place, don't you think?"
You glare at Nozomi, balling up your knuckles, wanting to punch something- anything would be fine, but you shouldn't lose your temper in front of Nozomi, out of all people. "It really isn't your business. I don't get you." You mumble incoherently.
"It is my business. Nicocchi is one of my dearest friends. For you to do something like that... if I were Nicocchi, I wouldn't even want to see your face." Nozomi's face flashed a hinge of sadness and betrayal before turning her back towards you and walking out the door.
You end up finding out where Nico, Eli, and Honoka were. They were inside the music room where you would always sing for Nico. Or, where you used to sing for Nico.
Nico sat at the bench at the side of the room, with Eli on one side comforting her and Honoka on her knees in front of Nico. Nico's face was in shock, there weren't tears, but an enraged expression on her face.
"Nico-chan... I'm really sorry. I didn't know you guys were together. No one ever told me." Honoka held her head low, accepting any kind of punishment Nico would give.
"Honoka, for the last time, it's fine. If you really didn't know, then it's not your fault. Besides, the only ones who knew were Eli and Nozomi. Maybe if our relationship was made more public, maybe things wouldn't end up like this." The last sentence of Nico was said more faintly than her usual voice. You remember telling Nico at the start of your relationship with her that you wanted to keep it a secret.
—"I'd like it if we could keep our relationship private. Only to a few people." You remind Nico.
"Oh.. alright. Why though?"
"It just..." You try to quickly think up of an excuse. "It might be better for us. You being a super idol and me becoming a doctor." You look away from Nico, hoping she would go along with it.
"I see. That's fine. As long as we're the only ones with each other, promise?" Nico smiled at you.
You smiled back without saying a word.—
As Eli and Honoka tried comforting Nico, you left the room and hoped that everything that happened today was a dream, and that you were still in a healthy relationship with Nico, but that wasn't possible anymore.
The day after that, everyone gathered in the clubroom as usual after classes have ended. Nico doesn't even look at you anymore. She ignores your texts, your comments, and everything about you.
Every meeting and practice has been as if nothing happened. Except for the fact that Nico acts if you were never there so you two never banter anymore. The rest of muse has been updated on the situation. Rin and Hanayo look at you with pity, but they know that your actions were inexcusable.
One day, you decide to ditch class and head to the clubroom, knowing that Nico had a spare class after lunch and usually hangs around there. You stand before the room, seeing Nico's petite figure sitting at the computer desk, browsing idol groups videos and making note of what could be improved for muse. You take a deep breath and turn the doorknob slowly, making your way in once the door was entirely open.
Nico's body pauses, using the reflection of the window frame to see that you've entered. She resumes watching idol groups, her eyes hollow and empty.
You sit down at your usual spot and take a book out to read. The mood was full of discomfort and awkwardness. You want to speak to her, to hear her voice directed at you like before, but you knew that there was a growing rift between the two of you each day that passes. You want something to happen, but nothing happens. She doesn't question why you're here, and acts as if you weren't sitting there. Half an hour passes, and she decides to make her way out the door. You quickly try to calculate what to say before she heads out, hoping that you could get some message across to her but your brain malfunctions and you end up saying something rash.
"By the way you're acting, it seems like you never really cared about what happened, or us?" You blurt out unconsciously. These weren't the words you wanted to say. You could've said something nicer, an apology would have worked, bu these were the only words you could think of at the moment.
Nico pauses for a second. She turns around, with piercing eyes at you. You could feel her about to yell at you, or punch you, just anything would be okay, but she takes a few seconds to calm herself down, before saying with a sad smile on her face, "Don't fuck with me, hypocrite." Her words strike you, as if they were burning your insides. Your face falls, the mood turns sour, and you want to glare her down, but you know deep down that she's right.
She makes her way out the door and shuts it, so you can't just follow her out the door. You bring a hand up to hold your head, hating how you've become so unused to this side of Nico and how everything you do or say seems to make the gap between you and her even wider now.
The door opens again, you snap your head towards it, hoping that it was Nico who came back, but it was just Honoka.
"Maki-chan, I'm sorry." Honoka begins to talk.
"It's fine. Like Nico-chan said, it's not your fault. You didn't know."
"I know... I wish you could've told me before hand. Is there a reason why you didn't say anything? I know you're not the type to forget that you're in a relationship."
"There wasn't any reason. It was just in the heat of the moment. Look, you've done a lot for me, if it weren't for you I wouldn't have ever met Nico-chan. And I also... felt bad for you."
Honoka winced a bit before understanding the meaning in your words. "Well, I wouldn't blame you. You were simply helping me, as a friend right? Thanks Maki-chan but you really didn't have to go all that way for me. I've got the others. And cheer up okay! Fight-O!" Honoka gave an apologetic smile before patting me on the head.
In that sudden moment, Nico was standing in the middle of the doorway, unhappy at the sight she was seeing. She quickly walked over to where she was sitting and grabbed her bag, making her way out.
"Nico-chan! Wait. This isn't what it looks like." You quickly retort as her back faces towards you.
As she hears your voice, she runs away from you. You decide that it's time to face your fears and you start to run after her, cursing how she was so fast for such a tiny figure. After a few hundred meters of running, you two end up in the middle of a park. Her stamina drops and her speed slows down, while luckily you catch up to her and take a good grasp of her shoulders.
"Let go." Nico sharply hisses. Her body is shaking, and you see drops of tears hitting the floor from Nico's face.
"I'm sorry okay! Talk to me, Nico-chan, please." You beg for her forgiveness.
"What do you want me to say? That I detest you for cheating on me? That everyday I want to just burst out of the room during club activities because I can't stand to see your face? That I gave you everything and you half-assed it by betraying me? I have nothing left to say to you. You're dead to me Nishikino Maki. I can forgive Honoka because she had no knowledge of us, but I honestly can't forgive you. You knew I had a hard time trusting people yet you broke my trust. Please, if you ever really loved me, you would let me go." Nico began to break down, hitting my chest with every little ounce of energy she had left. She wanted to hate you, but you knew that she was too selfless to.
You knew that she was consumed with rage, but you still brought her face up to match yours. In a split second, you forced a kiss on her, hoping that she could calm down and properly talk to you. At first, she tried resisting the kiss, hitting you and trying to get off of you. But she gradually, let you kiss her, while not reciprocating any of it.
Once your lips parted her, she slapped you hard on the cheek, her eyes brimming with tears once more. "Don't you dare kiss me." Your face began to hurt, a lot. This was going to leave a bruise for a few days but it didn't matter. As you saw her face, red with anger and sadness, your eyes too began to water.
You bring your hands up to your eyes, hiding your tears from her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wanted to be with you because I loved you, and only you. Honoka and I were never a thing. It was a one time kiss, and I only let her kiss me because I felt bad for her and I just-" You try to continue on but are interrupted halfway.
"So you decided to forget about me? How could you even do that." Nico cut you off, with insecurity flashing all over her eyes.
"I didn't forget. I never did. I thought you'd understand. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want you to at least hear me out." You look at her directly, raising your arms and brushing your fingers along her face.
She removes your hands swiftly from her face as if you were poisonous to her. "Don't touch me." Nico scowls. "Don't get near me ever again, I don't want to see your face outside of school-related activities ever. And don't you dare cut class to see me. I'll just lock the door from now on if you dare to do that again." She walks away from you and towards the school.
Your heart drops as you watch her leave you, her footsteps drowning out the farther away she is from you. You drop down to your knees, feeling weak in the legs, and let out every tear you had in your heart.