I own neither TMNT (Nickelodeon *shudder*) or The Sound of Music (Paramount *I think?*) specifically, the song "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?"
The moral of the story, kids, is never watch TMNT when you have showtunes stuck in your head. You will be struck with the irresistable urge to write songfics.
Of course, that's not entirely a bad thing...
The bold lettering is to indicate the parts that are sung, and the plain text indicates either a spoken part, or who is singing.
And now, without further ado, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles present: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Mikey?
(Imagine the Paramount logo with Klunk meowing instead of the lion. There is no real reason for this, but isn't it cute?)
Don:
He falls off of a fire escape
His mask has got a tear.
Leo:
He whistles while he meditates
and skateboards in the Lair.
Raph:
And since he brought home Klunk,
We can't get rid of the cat hair.
All:
He even brings his comics into the dojo!
Leo:
He's always late for training.
Don:
But his effort's just as real.
Leo:
He's always late for everything!
Raph:
Except for every meal.
Leo:
I hate to have to say it,
But I very firmly feel
Michelangelo needs extra training.
April:
I'd like to say a word in his behalf.
Mikey makes me laugh.
All:
How do you solve a problem like Michelangelo?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Mikey?
Don:
A flibbertijibbet!
April:
A will-o'-the-wisp!
Raph:
A clown!
All:
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him.
Many a thing he ought to understand.
But how do you make him stay?
And listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Mikey?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
Leo:
When I'm with him I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am.
Don:
Unpredictable as weather,
He's a flighty as a feather.
April:
He's a darling!
Raph:
He's a bone-head!
April:
He's a lamb!
Raph:
He'd outpester any pest,
Drive a hornet from its nest.
He'd could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl!
April: What's a dervish?
Don: Beats me.
Leo:
He is gentle, he is wild.
April:
He's a riddle, he's a child.
Raph:
He's a headache!
April:
He's an angel!
Master Splinter:
He is a ninja!
All:
How do you solve a problem like Michelangelo?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Mikey?
A flibbertijibbet. A will-o'-the-wisp.
Raph:
A knuckle-head!
Splinter: Raphael!
Raph: Sorry Sensei.
All:
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him.
Master Splinter
Many a thing he ought to understand.
All:
But how do you make him stay?
And listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Mikey?
Mikey enters munching on a bag of Cheetos
Mikey: Hey guys. What's up? Oh sweet! The game-system's fixed! Thanks Don!
Vaults couch and begins playing.
Leo, Don, Raph, April, Master Splinter:
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
Mikey: Why are you guys singing?
I don't actually see them thinking Mikey's a 'problem', I just can't get the thought of them singing this song out of my head!
If anyone does know what a 'dervish' is, please let me know. That line has always confused me. :)
R&R!