Compromise

Tonight is the night, there is no turning back. I know what I want. I just don't know how to get it. I have never been the type to be outwardly sexy. I don't even think I am sexy. Compared to Edward I feel as if I am the ugly old witch you hear about in fairy tales and Edward is Prince Charming. That is why I am so nervous what if he doesn't want me the way I want him or I trying to be sexy will turn out to be humorous to him and I'll be embarrassed. Tonight is the night though, so I am going to have to hide all the nervousness and be straightforward so I can get what I want. I get into my car and I am shaking while I turn the key into the ignition. The drive to Edward's house seems like hours. Finally I reach his home. I try to get out of the car but my heart is pounding out of my chest. I wish this wasn't happening right now. Edward is going to be suspicious about why my heart is beating so fast. I try to take some long breathes to get the jitters away. Then Edward notices me outside and opens the car door.

I still can't stop marveling at his face every time I see him. It's like you are looking at this face of an angel and you feel insignificant like how did I ever deserve this heavenly apparition. This just makes my heart pound more as if I needed that already. He picks me up and starts kissing me fervently. This is the type of kiss where neither wants to stop but I have to because I have to breathe. I breathe and he wants more. Kissing like this was beginning to comfort me because maybe he wanted the same thing I did and that tonight would be the night. Just as things were getting heated up he pulls away and says "Welcome home." I say "that sounds nice" because the thought of being able to live with Edward 24/7 would be my dream come true. He puts me down and says he has something for me upstairs in his bedroom. Well I'm glad that I didn't have to suggest that first. I grab onto Edward as tight as I can and we go upstairs to his room. He gives me the most beautiful heat shaped crystal charm. I am in awe of its beauty and brilliancy it reminds me of Edward where he says he has no soul but this heart is the perfect representation of his soul. It is luminescent of his chivalry and his kindness to others, but has an edge to it because it was hand carved. With each facet I saw the pain and the things that make Edward who he truly is.

After receiving the gift and pulling myself closer to Edward. It was time that I asked him the one thing that I wanted. My heart started beating really loud again I muster up my nerves and asked him "Can we discuss something?" I really need you to be unprejudiced about this subject. He looked at me cautiously questioning the tone of my formality and he said "I'll give it my best effort" with a confused look on his face. "What would you like to negotiate?" with a crooked smile on his face. With that look my heart started pounding a thousand times a minute. He noticed of course and put his head to my heart which didn't help the situation. He said "why is your heart beating so fast? Are you ok? I said I am fine but he didn't look as if he believed me. "I want to discuss my terms with the whole marriage condition." He looked at me smiling "your terms I am already taking your life away from you and you want something else too?" I looked at him seriously "there is only one thing I want to do before I turn into a vampire." This made him happy as if I was going to give him more time. So he looked at me and said "anything" I looked back and asked if he really meant it and he said "yes." The blood started rushing to my cheeks and Edward noticed I was blushing. He asked why I was blushing and what did I want so badly that made me have this sort of reaction. I said "I want you. " He said "you already have me."

So I leaned in to show him what I wanted I got on top of him while he was sitting up and I started kissing him and he kissed me back. At first it was an innocent kiss but then it got more intense. Edward lay down while I was on top of him. I started putting my hands through his hair then caressing his face. Then I started to undo the buttons on his shirt I had managed to get all the buttons undone on his shirt so I could marvel at his Greek god body. After his shirt was off and I was touching all over his perfect chest and back I started to undo my buttons. Edward finally grasped what I was suggesting and pulled me off from on top of him and sat me up. He looked at me very seriously and said "No I can't do this." I said "we can try, that all I want to do is try." He looked at me sternly saying that it's too dangerous and that he could kill me. This time I was begging what else do I have to lose besides my wounded ego. I asked him "why don't you want to have sex with me?" He looked me straight in the eye and said "I want too, believe me." I have wanted to for a long time Bella. Do you think that I don't hear the minds in the school hallways guys imaging you naked or having fantasies about you in their head? You would be surprised by how many guys want to. Do you not think that I get so mad about the immature boys in that school that are thinking about it and I can't do anything because it's all stuff they are thinking in their heads. Don't get me wrong Bella but I have thought about it while you are sleeping in bed and I am there lying besides you. How easy it would be to get you to have sex with me. It's funny how the roles are reversed even now. Usually the guy is pushing the girl towards sex but now the girl is pushing the guy towards sex.

Then I said "why won't you?" Well with a cocky smile on his face "if I give into your demands now how would I know that you would keep up your end of the deal?" I looked at him and said "you're unbelievable" you vex me so much don't you know that. All of those kisses and touches .you have been teasing me for years and I can't take it anymore. Edward looked at me and laughed that's why I love your hormones because right now they are my best friend. Because of your hormones this is going to speed up the marriage because your body can't take the endless teasing all the time with no fulfillment. He laid me down on the bed and was pinning me down. Just like now those eyes full of desire staring straight into my face. The intakes of air when I breathe into your face and the silent moan you do not hear when I nibble on your neck. Of course while he is saying all these things he has to demonstrate them to make his point. Your body shivering against mine when I place my hand on your leg and start to go up. The gasps of breath when I kiss you fervently and then stop. When the blood rushes to your face when I caress your skin. Your arched back when I start to pull away. Your heart beating so fast letting me know how much you need me to satisfy you. Then I looked at him with a mad look on my face because now I was really heated up "Why do you have to tease me so?" I can't take it anymore Edward it's been two years. I think that at this point of being together this long you would have at least put your hand down my shirt. With him staring away I grabbed his hand and put it to my breast. Edward looked speechless he looked at me first then looked at where his hand was and he didn't know what to do.