Higher Love
Lyrics credit to the cover by James Vincent McMorrow
I think I have a problem, and it is…..babies..…..lol. I read a rumor that Candice (we're on a first name basis) was preggo and thus this was written.
"Think about it, there must be higher love, down in the heart or hidden in the stars above"
xx
x
"Caroline?"
Caroline was not mentally prepared for this conversation. She had yet to ring the doorbell on the two story condo in the French Quarter, pacing nervously on the stoop, when the squeak of the hinges sent her heart racing in terror.
And then, he was in front of her saying her name. He spoke with such confusion, but behind his eyes lay a small ounce of happiness.
"Caroline?" Klaus repeated looking over her stone face and squinting to determine any ailments or unbalanced neurosis.
Caroline exhaled softly, swallowing the anxiety that pulled her away from his door three times before.
He had to know. She knew he did, but thinking it was completely different than saying it aloud.
In her mind, he would never reject her. In her mind he loved her unconditionally and wanted the same things she did. But in reality, she couldn't control his actions, she couldn't control his thoughts; she couldn't control him.
"Hi," She managed, feeling the dam that kept her emotions restrained snapping with every second they stood in silence.
His face became pinched; his mouth thinned into a taut line and his eyes lost their lightness. Klaus' shoulders fell slightly as he turned his back to her, removing the key from his pocket and locking his front door.
"You shouldn't just show up unannounced." He said dully, growing tired of their on- again, off-again relationship as he slowly placed the key back into his pocket and hesitated turning around, "Especially for no apparent reason."
The words stung like a chemical burn.
Rather than taking the moment to explain herself, something ignited in Caroline so vicious her lips couldn't contain the sharp words that followed.
"A month ago you wanted to put a ring on my finger and now I mean nothing to you?"
Klaus pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth. His eyes briefly closed as he sighed and then opened as he turned to face her.
"I believe you rejected me." His lips contorted into a steadfast half smile, his eyes remained cold as his shoulders rose and fell. Wanting to say nothing more he brushed passed Caroline.
"What if I didn't now?"
Her words then froze him as if he was cemented mid-step, "What if you didn't what?"
"Reject you." She spoke softly, beginning to sink slowly into the quicksand of dread.
Klaus turned to face her sharply, "And what would be different today? Hm? Your feelings? A growing desperation?" He glared into her eyes hoping to see a glimmer of something, anything, that would prove him wrong.
She said nothing, however, only standing so small before him. Her features began to crumble into a pile of an abandoned, lonely girl.
"You can't want something and not want the same thing at the same goddamned time, Caroline."
The glass that was her reality shattered.
Her eyes brimmed with tears as Klaus looked away.
"It's not just about us anymore." Caroline said softly, with the last ounce of composure she had left. As the emotions flooded her, she brought her hand gently to her abdomen.
Klaus stood speechless, feeling the once mechanical breathing of his lungs hitched tightly to his ribcage. He looked from Caroline's down casted eyes to her hand against her stomach.
"I'm keeping it." She whispered delicately, raising her eyes to his, "I wasn't going to, at first," She rushed, swallowing carefully, "But then...I saw it and…" She shook her head as the words clenched in her throat, unable to escape into the free air.
"It's a part of me, and a part of you and I couldn't fathom…" She exhaled and the tightness in her voice disappeared, "I couldn't imagine destroying it."
She looked at him imploringly with the little light of hoping flickering inside her.
"I just wanted you to know."
While she received nothing in response, Caroline collected her dignity from the ground and turned to leave. She'd made her peace, all was on the table.
As she took her first step down to the sidewalk, Klaus' arm outstretched and willed her to stop, placing his hand against her forearm.
Caroline turned to him curiously, and rather than embracing her, with his other arm extended, his palm was against the smallest swell of her stomach.
It was then that he heard the faintest, rhythmical, and most astonishing heartbeat he'd ever listened to. Like the wings of a butterfly, brushing against the palms of your enclosed hands.
A new sort of sensation began to encompass him, filling from his toes and pouring upward magically into every crease and cavity his body held. A love so deep it engrossed him, and suddenly, nothing was more important than his unborn child.
A higher love. The kind that hits you all at once, that you can't help but succumbing to; an unseen knowledge like that of the sun always, eventually shining. And once experienced, you can never go without it.
"Okay." He said after a moment, his hand still flat against her.
"Okay?" She questioned, searching his eyes for answers.
Klaus only nodded, beginning to feel the ice over his heart begin to melt away, slowly, drip by drip in cadence to the baby's heart.
xx
x
"Without it, life is wasted time. Look inside your heart, I'll look inside mine"
A/N: This came out way more angsty than I intended. Haha, oh well.
And in THIS universe, vampires can have babies. Apparently their uterus doesn't die. (when you think about the science, it's just really impossible. But science doesn't exist in THIS universe. Ha.)
I am being affected by baby fever and I don't know how to feel! I think I just want to be 30. I'm over 22, like, can I just get married now?
You're all invited to my wedding, promise. Lol.