Hey guys! I know I shouldn't be writing this because I have enough stories to be working on but this was begging me to write it.
Yes I know, sadly Jude and Connor broke up but that doesn't make me love them any less. I do like Noah. Well, I did until tonight's episode. I liked him when he was introduced but I think he's gonna be a bad influence considering he gave Jude pot (it was pot right?) AND Jude was taking his finals freaking HIGH. That can't end good for him…
On that note, I'm super excited for next week's episode! It looks so intense!
Anyways, here's the story now :)
Jude's POV
They always say that having a bleeding heart makes you an easy target. Well, Mom does. Mama says otherwise. (And before you ask, yes, I have two mom's.) Mama says it's good to have one because it means you have not just a bleeding heart but a caring one. Mom argued that it makes you look weak.
"No son of mine is weak," she said. "Not you, not Jesus and Brandon." I guess she only says that because she's a cop, and she's seen a lot of things that I would probably never see in my lifetime. She's been through a lot, too. First her divorce with Mike- and no, he's not a bad guy. He's still in the picture and is Brandon's father. Then Grandpa dying. That took a toll on all of us, but affected her more than any of us. Even if she is tough, I know Mom loves us for who we and will do just about anything for us.
I didn't think I was weak.
I don't think a bleeding heart makes you weak. I agree with Mama when she said that it just means you care about others even if they don't even bother to take any interest in you. I'll tell you that from personal experience.
But sometimes they do. Sometimes they even smile, knowing that someone cares enough to ask. Like my friend Jack. I first met Jack when I was fourteen as a freshman in high school. I thought he was a little strange at first. In math he'd stare into space and whenever he did he seemed to be staring at me. I'd try to just go back to my work but sometimes it was impossible when I could feel his gaze burn through my head. One day I saw him crying in the hallways, sitting by the lockers and just crying his eyes out, holding his glasses between his fingers.
"Hey, there," I said softly, my actions slow, not wanting to scare him by being too loud or too fast. I leaned down and sat next to him, then felt the courage to put my arm around him and rub his shoulder. "Are you okay?" That bleeding heart again. I knew it was a dumb question. Of course he wasn't okay! He was crying! And everyone just walked away like they didn't see him. How much sense does that make to you?
I couldn't barely hear him when he tried to explain why he was upset, his voice was so hoarse, as if he hadn't spoken for years. He was crying too, so he stammered through his words. Even though I couldn't understand him that well, I could still put together what had happened. I heard the key words. Apparently some guys were harassing him during lunch and they were telling him that he should kill himself and stuff like that. That really shook him up, and if I would have been there to comfort him and invite him into my group of friends, I don't know where he'd be. He's still a weirdo, but he's our weirdo.
You know how in high school there's always different groups that are labeled based on what they do and how they act? Well, my group is hands down the weird group. I didn't like being labeled, but for some reason I didn't mind. I guess it was because I loved my friends so much that I stopped caring. I think the other obvious reason I don't care is because we learn to laugh at it because we know it's true.
I still didn't like being labeled based off my sextuality. I don't understand why everyone goes around labeling everybody. I just want to be Jude. Yes, I'm attracted to guys but that doesn't mean you have to label me as gay. I was insecure about myself for the longest time. I felt so different. In seventh grade I was still insecure, and it was around the same time I met her.
Taylor is my number one. We met in seventh grade when my lab partner in science ditched me to be with some girl, so I was in store for a new partner. I looked around, but everyone was paired up with someone. Suddenly the door opened and a girl with brown hair and big brown eyes entered the room, gave the teacher a late pass, explaining that she was new and that Anchor Beach was a big school and she accidentally walked into the wrong classroom and she was so embarrassed.
I let out a small laugh as the teacher took her note and interrupting her from her ramble. "You can take your seat now, Taylor," Mr. Halls said, not looking the least bit interested, but that's just how he was. Taylor kept her smile, and that's when I realized she was making her way towards me.
She sat down, spinning the chair a little and biting her lip. "Hi!" she said, causing me to jump. I looked down and played with my pencil, not sure what to say to the girl. These were the days before I realized I was gay (it's okay when I say it). I admit, I had a small crush on her back then. Taylor waved her hand in my face. "I said hi!"
I looked up at her but didn't speak. I didn't know what it was, but there were always those times when I had no idea what to say. Especially when I was in middle school. There was a time when I didn't talk to anyone for a solid week. I didn't know why. I had a lot of anxiety in the past, and sometimes to this day it comes back to haunt me. I was just socially awkward back then.
She tilted her head and frowned. "What's wrong? Can'tcha talk?"
"I-I-I-" I stuttered, knowing this would happen.
"Don't worry," she chirped. "I won't bite. What's your name?"
"J-Jude." I managed to smile.
Taylor giggled. "Hey Jude, don't make it bad!" she sang.
I smiled and shook my head in amusement. Everyone did that. Whenever one of my siblings would walk in my room and sing that.
I sang the next line. "Take a sad song and make it better."
She sang the next part. "Remember to let her into your heart."
"Then you can start to make it better!"
Taylor was about to sing the next line but Mr. Halls shushed us and told us to get to work. We sighed and looked down at the lab paper, pretending to work.
Yeah, that was how our friendship began.
It was just Taylor and I for a long time. Up until our freshman year was when we met Audrey. There was no big story of how we met her. We were looking for a place to sit when we saw a redhead with blue eyes and freckles eating her lunch alone, so we sat with her. Our friendship just kind of happened. We bonded over the small things. And that's what mattered.
Anyway, we were an odd bunch. We sure were different, and that's what made us best friends. But we all had one thing in common: we were foster kids. I had been in the system for six years until I finally found the right family that adopted my sister, Callie and I. She was in college now so I didn't see her much. Taylor had been adopted since she was three, Audrey since she was ten, and Jack, well, Jack has been in foster care longer than all of us. He always told us he was never going to find a home. Whenever we told him to not give up he kept his faith, though it was hard for him sometimes. Right now he was living in an boys home, waiting. Jack was always waiting for something. It never came easy for him. He was a good kid, maybe a little on the weird side, but he was funny.
Enough about the past though. Let's focus on what's happening now. I'm starting my senior year of high school now, and that social awkwardness was beginning to fade away, but the bleeding heart was still there. I had already given up on trying to stop constantly feeling bad for people.
I was more confident, too. I've come a long way since those days where I was afraid. The main reason I was so awkward and skittish in middle school was because I lived in constant fear that the Fosters wouldn't adopt Callie and I, and it'd be just like every other time when we would think we actually found a good family, then they'd throw us under the bus. Everyone was out of the house and it was just me and the Mom's. It wasn't that bad, but there were times when I got really lonely. At those times I'd usually go to my friends house; I knew Mom's liked their "alone time".
"Hey hot stuff," Mom said as I made my way into the kitchen. I was wearing a white t-shirt, jeans, sunglasses, a leather jacket, and cologne that Jesus bought me for my first day.
"This will come in handy," he had said. Now it was time to test if it actually did.
"Ready for your big day love?" Mama asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
"As ready as I'll ever be," I smiled, trying my hardest to hide my nervousness. I could feel my palms sweat.
"You want anything particular for breakfast?" Mom asked, about to get up to get me something but I politely shook my head.
"Nah." I grabbed an apple, then checked the time and realize my bus was going to leave at any moment. "I should get going, or I'll miss my bus." I swiftly kissed both of their cheeks, got my backpack, and ran out of the house. I was running so fast one might think the devil was after me.
When I got to school I was instantly greeted by my friends. They almost knocked me down from running up and hugging me tightly as if they hadn't seen me in years. Well, it actually did feel like years. They had all decided to leave me for the summer. Everyone seemed to have a better summer than me. Mine consisted of lying awake, staring at walls, bored out of my mind. That was the first part of my summer, at least. The second part I was restless, getting up every so often. Mom's were worried about me. The first few weeks of summer I went to the town pool with Mariana and Callie; they tanned and I swam (I loved swimming), getting a good look at the male lifeguards. Man, they were cute. They all had the ultimate tan, unlike Callie who was starting to fry. What was really embarrassing was that one of them caught me staring at them. I put my head down underwater and swam away, but I could tell he was creeped out. At the beginning of July, Mom signed me up for swim lessons. I could never beat any of those boys, and whenever I tried to doggy paddle the coach would always yell at me.
"So how was your summer?" Taylor asked, still excited.
I swallowed, not wanting to tell them about my summer. "Er...great. Great."
"Are you lying man?" Jack looked unconvinced, opening his locker. We all four had them next to each other.
"No!" I protested. "I...I-"
"We won't ask you anymore questions," Audrey interrupted, smiling.
I nodded in thanks, glad the pressure was off as far as my part, and Audrey started talking about her summer in Africa.
"Guys, guys!" Jack whispered suddenly, interrupting Audrey's story and pointing at the familiar group of popular girls. "How to I look?" he asked, pushing back his hair. Oh yeah. Jack always had a thing for this girl named Sophia Quinn, who happened to be the leader of her group, and looked like a younger version of Callie which made me hard to hate her although she was bad news. She was rich, too, and way out of us foster kids' league. I didn't see Jack's big obsession with her. I guess she was pretty, but she was nothing but a spoiled brat that got whatever she wanted, according to Taylor. I couldn't tell you if that was actually true or not because I don't know her personally and just because you're popular doesn't instantly make you a prick.
"You look great!" Audrey chirped, fluffing his hair.
"Thanks, Audrey," Jack smiled. I always thought they were going to get together. They acted like they were a couple but they always deny it. But that didn't make Taylor and I ship them any less.
Sophia's group consisted of Daria, Jerry, Lindsey, Ben, Chloe, and Eric. All of them seemed so perfect. There wasn't a single flaw I saw in them. Everyone either earned to date them, hang out with them, or, well, be them.
Jack opened his mouth to speak to Sophia but nothing came out, so they just walked away, not even acknowledging him. "Did you guys hear about the new boy?" Chloe was saying.
I cocked my head up. New boy?
"Oh yeah!" Daria said. "I heard he's really cute."
I watched them until they disappeared, for once actually interested in what they were saying.
It was lunchtime, and I still had yet to see height or hair or this new boy everyone was talking about. I didn't know what it was, I just shivered when I heard people talk about him. I learned in English that his name was Connor Stevens. I kept my eyes peeled for this Connor guy, letting my curiosity get the best of me. I knew a lot of people, so it wouldn't be hard to point out the new kids. "Hey, Taylor," I tapped on my friend's shoulder. She looked at me attentively, proving that she was listening. "Do...Do you know Connor? Has he been in any of your classes?"
"Oh yeah," she nodded vigorously. "He's really cute. I think you two would look really good together." She smirked.
For whatever reason I found myself getting red. "W-What? Why do you think that Taylor?"
Her eyes shined, like they always did when she was excited about something, and she make this face whenever she wanted to hook me up with someone. Her eyebrows would raise and she'd smirk. "Because you're complete opposites!" she exclaimed, getting all up in my face.
"Calm down Tay," Jack said, pulling her back and rubbing her shoulders. "I don't know if setting up Jude with Connor is a really good idea…"
"Why do you say that?" Audrey asked. "He doesn't seem to really care about the girls that were crowding around him." She paused. "Even Sophie tried flirting with him, and he didn't say say a word. So maybe he's not into girls"
"He seemed so angry though, Audrey," Jack said.
"See, exact opposites," Taylor said, moving up in line.
"You really think setting up Jude with an angry, cold guy is a good idea?" Jack said. "That's psychotic!"
"Maybe Jude can bring the best out of him," Audrey said.
"I am here you know," I spoke up. They were talking as if I wasn't standing right next to them, and that I had no control over my decisions.
They all just stared at me, then went on with their conversation. I rolled my eyes, then scanned the lunchroom for Connor. I couldn't help but look for him. Though I don't think anything will happen between us, I still wanted to be friends with him, or at least meet him.
When I got my lunch I still didn't see anyone new. "Hey, do you guys know where he might be?" I asked, taking a bite of my sandwich and looking around the cafeteria again.
"Oh, he's right there!" Jack said, pointing at the mob of girls, and right in the middle I saw him for the first time: dark blonde, almost brown hair and hazel eyes. The first thing I realized other than his appearance was that he was sitting with all of the popular kids. But that wasn't the significance. The significance of it was that he didn't care. It was every new kids' dream to be popular, but he didn't look like he was even trying to care, and it wasn't looking like he was in any mood to care. I guess some people are like that.
"What do you think, Jude?" Taylor asked. "You think he's cute?"
I looked at her but I didn't answer. I thought he was cute, but above everything he seemed so mysterious. Sophia was looking at him with her piercing eyes, as if she was trying to figure him out. I guess I wasn't the only one who thought he was a mystery.
I like mysteries… Challenge accepted.
My next class was History. I was never fond of History, I thought it was either depressing or boring. The only happy thing I can think of that happened in History that was actually happy was when America finally broke away from England and got their Independence. The rest was just wars it seemed like.
I didn't have this class with any of my friends, so I had no one to talk to. I took my seat, which was near the back in the corner. I liked sitting in the back where no one could bother me, and there was no distractions.
"You're in my seat," an impatience voice growled, their breath tickling my neck. I turned around to show that person a piece of my mind, but my body completely stiffened when I saw who it was: Connor Stevens.
First chapter done! What'cha guys think? I know it's not that good but it'd mean a lot to me if you review. I'm kinda nervous because this is my first time writing for this fandom and I would hope people will like it.
Oh, did you guys like how I put Jack in there as one of Jude's best friends? I thought I'd be nice and keep him alive because I loved him and he didnt deserve to die ;-;
And I have to say that I freaking LOVE Jude and Taylor's friendship. She's lucky to have a gay best friend which I've wanted for a long time haha.
Hope you liked it! I love everyone of you and you stay incredibly gold 💕