A/N: Nothing slashy, just a letter to Megatron from our favorite seeker, Starscream :)

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

20 Problems

Megatron,

To start off, why in Primus am I writing this accursed letter as the humans say. Well anyways I have a few little issues I must discuss with you oh "might leader". Ok I hate you, I utterly hate you, not like that's not already obvious, you utterly are making me despise you more every second that passes by with me writing this letter. But this is about ME hating YOU. OK? And for the love of Primus, STOP TRYING TO SEE WHAT I AM WRITING AND GET THE SLAG OUT OF MY QUARTERS! Now shall we begin with your many malfunctions?

1.I would like to be treated with respect you old metal, rusty, disrespectful insult of a leader. I am your second in command, I think you would have this charming little seeker be your SIC rather than that bulky giant paperweight Lugnut. He has a shrine of you in his quarters under his berth for Primus sakes! Oops, I guess some handsome being just spilled the beans as the squishys say.

2.I have no idea how, but for some reason, our little pity fights somehow lead up to me loosing an arm or a leg. I swear, your must start taking consoling again with Shockwave if you want to hear my trine's progress with the Autobot's before you start to pick off my trine one by one. But you can take Slipstream, she annoys the slag out of me. So take consoling before you run out of 'cons to beat the slag out of.

3.Quit touching my wings! They are mine and mine only! AND AGAIN QUIT READING MY HATE LETTER TOWARDS YOU! I'm not done yet!

4.You. Are. Indescribably. FAT. Yes FAT, and this makes me look bad because one, I am your SIC, I am quite petite, light, thin, and. Your fat and I'm not, which makes it awkward because somehow I end up interfacing with you at one point. I also have no idea how you fit through my door when you followed me to my quarter.

STOP TRYING TO READ WHAT I WRITE!

I might as well scream this all of these malfunctions to your face if you continue to try to read what I am writing.

5.You have destroyed all of my protoforms! 2 cycles of button pressing gone!

6.You so cheated on me with Shockwave while I was on the moon with Blitzwing. Or as you call it "filling the empty hole in my spark while you were gone" I still think you cheated on me.

7.You threw me in a river just because I said I wanted sometime apart!

8.You gave me an orange dress, you know you should've gotten my red, red goes well with magenta

9.I AM MAGENTA, NOT PINK

10.Dear Primus, you are terribly taller than me, which makes me feel inferior, and I am your SIC, NOT your footrest.

11.Stop refusing the fact the you still love me, every day you continue to flirt with me when I'm giving my report. I don't blame you for still loving me, besides somehow end up interfacing after out little fights, and I am rather charming and handsome.

12.And you should listen to me for once, and I am not whining, im just expressing my complaints.

13.You think that your more charming than your truly, honestly, do you know how many fangirls I have compared to you? Making you feel inferior because I am more loved than you oh might glorious Megatron.

14.YOU AR REFUSING TO STAY OFFLINE! When I saw you were back it broke my spark, of your beloved SIC(yes admit it you love me)

15.Let me be leader of the Decepticons for once, I might give you a treat after words.

16.Why must you laugh at me? I am not amusing, your circuitry has been criss crossed ever since I came back from the moon.

17.Primus. Everywhere I go you are always there, why wont you leave me the frag alone?

18.You continue to spare that Autobot Optimus Prime, honestly, he is much much muuuuch more inferior than Lugnut times a thousand. And he is so much shorter than you, and he always uses foam as his weapon…he filled my mouth with it once and I had to wash my glossia multiple times.

19. Let me be on top once you oversized paperweight...

20. Finally. You. Smile. At. Me. Too. Fragging. MUCH

OoOooOoOoOoOoOoO

Love-, wait NOT LOVE, stupid energon pen…

I fraggin hate you with all my spark,

Ur lovely SIC STARSCREAM(yes that's right be jealous of my amazingness)