Ok my friend vampluver19 and I decided to rite this for fun lol.

Stark's pov

I was walking into the dorm room with Zoey hot on my trails as I heard a weird growling sound from the corner.

"Hey Duc-" I cut off as soon as I saw something white in Duchess's mouth.

"Duch! What are you eating?" I asked appalled at the weird gurgling noise coming from her mouth.

"Duchess!" Zoey cried out from my side and instantly fell to the floor with sobs raking her body.

"Zoey! Get a hold of yourself!" I screamed and slapped her. I read in a book called Abusive Relationships for Dummies that the best way to handle your girlfriends issues was to slap her. For example with my old girlfriend.

One day she was idiotic enough to get hit by a car so I went into the hospital to see her. Then when I got there I asked her what happened. She told me that an old hobo pushed her into the street and then she tripped on a fry as the car came at her. That was how she got into the hospital. Also, something about the driver being blind I think was said, but that was an inconsequential detail.

Enraged at her stupidity I took the I.V. system and started hitting her all over. For some unknown reason cops came in and put in jail untiland until the day of the hearing I was guilty. Well at least until I started making out with the judge. Till this day I'm still not sure if it was a he or a she, but whatever; it was a good kisser.

That's why I hit Zoey. Over and over until she started laughing. Or I think she was. I couldn't tell because right after she was so happy she fainted.

Now I could concentrate on my dog.

"Duch! What is that in your mouth." I screamed coming over to my dog.

Opening her mouth with my hands ( I was a pretty strong gal- oh wait I mean guy-no girl- no I forgot. Oh well, I couldn't look down my pants now.)

Thank Kalona that Duchess spit out whatever she was eating. Aghast, I looked at it and realized it was Aphrodite's devil cat.

Patting my wonderful dog's head, I laughed.

"Good girl doggie!" I cheered and then decided I was hungry. Looking between the cat and Zoey I decided to eat the cat.

"Zoey's your Duch. Not my type of vampyre- she's to much of a pansy for me to eat."

Duchess barked in agreement and went over to Zoey swallowing her whole as I ate that damn cat.

Sadly, it was to dry so I ate Duchess too and from then on out lived happily ever after.

The end.