Title: Not Another High School Fan Fiction
Author: MPJ
Spoilers: Whole Series!
Summary: A Lost High School fic? Really, are you kidding? Well don't expect it to be full of Jate/Skate/Sana/Jana/Jacket angst. No, this story is about Dharma High's 5 outcasts, Charlie, Desmond, Hurley, Daniel and Jin, trying to survive their own living hell.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost, I'm only borrowing the wonderful characters and making them do silly things to amuse the readers.
A/N - Sorry I haven't updated this story in a VERY long time. Here is a revised Chapter 1. I would really love to continue this story so if you read it years ago and would like to see it updated, please comment and let me know there are still fans left!
Mr. Artz: You know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not cool enough to be part of your merry little band of adventurers.
Hurley: What?
Mr. Artz: I know a clique when I see it.
Chapter 1
"Jack Shepard's WHAT!"
It was an exclamation heard round the world. Or at least the Dharma High cafeteria. Seated at the far end of the vast courtyard, the source of the noise, a thin, slightly disheveled junior was staring fixedly at his friend. Completely struck by the news and immune to the stares he was getting, he mouthed wordlessly. His friend shot a look over to him and then over to the table where the man himself, Jack Shephard, was seated. He had obviously not heard the hysterical cry and for that, Charlie Pace was grateful.
"Geez, keep your voice down," Charlie said in a hushed tone, raising his head and peering around to see if anyone else was still looking. Fortunately, his peers had gone back to ignoring them as usual. He breathed a sigh of relief and sank down into his chair. Sometimes it paid to be invisible; it had the perks of a nearly private conversation.
"Sorry it's just, you can't, I mean…" mumbled Daniel Faraday, still shell shocked. Words finally came to him and he breathed, "You just can't." He fidgeted nervously with his black skinny tie
"He's right, brotha," the Scot next to Faraday said, nodding his approval. "It would be suicide."
"You're exaggerating. It would not be suicide," Charlie scoffed, becoming more defensive.
"But…you can't just…go after Jack Shepard's sister," Dan said.
"Dude, he's right. Even Jin thinks so, and he doesn't know what the heck we're saying," Hurley Reyes commented, looking over to Jin Kwon, who nodded confusedly at Hurley's glance.
"And why can't I try. She's not dating anyone," reasoned Charlie, slightly unnerved by his friends' responses.
"Um," Desmond Hume said, trying to contain himself, "Are you forgetting Thomas?"
"They're on and off," Charlie shrugged.
"Yeah, and how do you know they're not on now?" said Hurley, amazed by Charlie's continued defiance. "Dude, do you not remember the last guy that tried to hit on Claire?"
"I'm not going to hit on-"
"Ethan Rom was in the hospital for 3 WEEKS after Jack was through with him," Dan interrupted.
"He had it coming anyway," Charlie growled.
"Yeh," Des said in an exaggerated sigh, "but that's not the point. Jack's the big brother from hell." A murmur of approval spread throughout the group. Charlie opened his mouth, then closed it, unable to respond to that.
"I've never seen someone so….so…" Dan was struggling with the word.
"Frightening?"
"Strong?"
"미친(1)?" was the response from Jin, which was taken with the usual confusion. Jin shrugged and went back to his sandwich.
Charlie sighed. "Did you ever think maybe he's just looking out for her? Isn't it a good thing she has him, to pick out the good guys from the scumbags?"
"Yeah, but how do you know if Jack thinks you're a good guy?" said Desmond, again putting Charlie at a loss for words.
"Jack Shephard is hardly aware of our existence," Des stated matter of factly. "
"Hey, that's not true. He said hi to me the other day in the hall," Dan pointed out.
"I saw that. Stanley Welles was standing behind you," countered Desmond.
"So? He said hi Da-it was Stan wasn't it?" Daniel said in horror as Desmond nodded. "But I responded. I said, 'Hey how's it going?'"
"Yeah, and it took you like 5 minutes to spit out that gem," Desmond said, grinning as Daniel tried to take a feeble punch at his arm but missed by inches. "I'm just jokin Dan."
"Anyway, where were we?" Dan said, trying to steer the conversation away from himself.
"Charlie wants Claire Shepard but he can't ask her out cause Jack's really tough and likes to punch people," Hurley stated calmly.
"I don't want her, its not like that!" said Charlie defiantly, reddening a bit at the cheeks.
"Really? I've heard you talking in your sleep and dude, there is a WHOLE lot of stuff I wish I didn't know about you. Wanting Claire is probably number 1 on the list," Hurley said. Charlie's face grew even hotter.
"Look, I'm her lab partner. She's really sweet, not like all those other cheerleading types, you know, she's got other things on her mind besides boys and cheerleading. She wants, well, I'm not at liberty to divulge that anyway. I keep her secrets safe," Charlie said proudly.
"Well I guess its lucky you were the only person left when it came to pick lab partners, because she seems really smitten," Desmond said, a twinkle behind his eyes that told Charlie is was all in good fun.
"I guess we should be happy at least one of us has gotten that close to a girl," Daniel sighed, picking at his food unhappily.
"Dan, there will be a day when we all will be lucky enough to find a girl," Charlie encouraged.
"Will that be in another 20 years?" Hurley asked and they laughed. Even Jin, who hardly knew any English, seemed to get the gist of the joke.
"It's only October, I'm sure things will look up, right?" Charlie said. Silence followed, until Charlie reiterated, "right?" to some feeble nods.
"Charlie, do you really think any of us is going to get a girlfriend?" Desmond asked.
"Or at least get a better social standing," Daniel added.
"Oh come on, our social standing isn't terrible dudes," Hurley said, trying to liven up the gloom.
"Well its not great either Hurley," said Desmond.
"Yeah, I'm still getting tripped up by Miles," Dan said. His tone was light and casual as he was so used to it.
"Ethan stuffed me in a locker this morning. I was lucky Mrs. Nadler caught him, otherwise I never would have made it to English," Charlie said darkly.
"And Goodwin stole my pants out of my locker while I was in gym!" Desmond exclaimed. "And then he hoisted them up to the flagpole. I still can't figure out how he did it."
"That was like, last year dude," Hurley tried to reason. "Besides, not everyone's terrible. Like Sayid, Sayid is cool."
"Yeah, he's cool, but he can also tear off my fingers with his bare hands," Charlie shuddered.
"Let's face it Hurley, we're not going anywhere, so we might as well enjoy what we have, and if that includes looking at girls from afar then actually speaking to them, its fine by me," Daniel said happily, staring across the cafeteria to the far end, where the most popular jocks and cheerleaders sat.
"Are you still looking at her? Dan, she's a freaking nut job," said Desmond, looking at the cheerleading table where Dan's eyes were focused on one girl in particular.
"She is not. She's just…really defensive," said Dan, his gaze lingering on the red head before moving back into reality.
"She threatened to shove a pen up Boone Carlisle's nose if he didn't give her the study guide for Mr. Linus's final exam," Hurley said.
"She's feisty?" said Dan, doubting his sanity more than ever.
"Whatever, at least she's not as dangerous as going into a relationship with Jack Shepard's sister," Hurley shifted, catching a glimpse of Charlie's face and then quickly looking down at the unidentified meat on his tray.
"I thought this discussion was over with, I'm not going to go after her, ok?" Charlie said, a note of clear finality in his voice. The bell rang, ending the period as well as the conversation. They quickly got up to leave the table, hoping not to be trampled. It was surprising how 5 juniors, even ones like Hurley, could be in more danger of being hurt then the new freshman.
"Hey, Des," Charlie called and Desmond turned to face him, "I think I saw Penny looking over at you."
"Where is she?" Desmond said, frantically looking over the crowd to find her across the cafeteria. Charlie sniggered and moved away quickly as Des caught on.
"You're dead, brotha!"
Jin's Translations:
Crazy?