Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Manly Bonding
Chapter One
"There comes a time when fighting is merely not enough to ensure the success of a mission. Being Anbu means that you will be receiving missions of intricacy, only obtainable to the most elite of the elite."
Genma paused his speech to glance at the attentive figures in front of him. The newly promoted Anbu members were some of the finest young shinobi Konoha has produced in years, and each of them were eager for the challenges that lay ahead. The senbon in his mouth tilted with his smirk.
Poor ignorant fools.
"Anbu does not mean glory. Sometimes you will find yourselves in unusual circumstances. There will be moments that you must rely on instincts alone. Things will be ugly; things will get dirty. You must not have any inhibitions. A second of hesitation may kill you. If you cannot handle that, leave now."
Nobody moved.
"Guess you guys have some balls after all," his smirk widened. "In this case, remember that I did warn you."
A cloud of apprehension appeared over everyone's head.
"The training that you will be undergoing is intense, as it is designed to confront your deepest and darkest insecurities. It changes people in many ways. Are you ready for that?"
"Sir, yes sir!"
"Good. Don't blame me if you come out looking like Gai then."
The cloud grew larger.
"Permission to speak sir?"
"Granted."
"What was Gai like…before Anbu training?"
"Well, let me put it this way. The first fourteen wins Gai had over Kakashi, completed before their anbu initiation…were over women."
Naruto's jaw dropped. His Kakashi-sensei, a.k.a. man with the biggest still operating fan club who must wear a mask due to the fits of euphoria females (and some male) suffer with one glance at his smile, lost to Fuzzy Eyebrow's fuzzier eyebrowed green spandex wearing teacher Maito Gai fourteen times over women!
The cloud became ominous.
"Anyways, you may have noticed that there are no kunoichi here today. That is because we want you to get back into the fundamentals. We need you to perform at the best of your capabilities without any distractions. And also, you will be doing things so embarrassing that you would probably rather get punched by the Hokage than be seen by your female teammates."
Genma paused again. Satisfied with the stricken faces, he continued, "As proven during last week's examination, you are all capable fighters. But today you will be facing difficult non-combat situations. You will bond as a team while learning the use of your manly wiles. Think of this as the male crash course version of the standard academy kunoichi training." Genma narrowed his eyes with a foreboding glint, "As of now, you are taking part in the best kept secret of the Konoha Anbu."
The senbon tilted once more.
"The Manly Bonding."
The sound of thunder could be heard in the ears of the four young Anbu.