To fall with an angel?
Dean just didn't know how Cas could have betrayed everything they had stood for. Cas' deal with the demon Crowley, the lying and spying on him. Dean felt betrayed yet again, this was worse than the Sam's betrayal with ruby, because that could be part excuse by the addictiveness of the demon blood. What Castiel had done was inexcusable…
Yet Dean kept hoping that he could rationalise the whole situation in some way, something that would make the part of him that didn't care what Castiel had done be alright, the part of him that follow Cas where ever he would go.
Dean wondered if Cas was hanging around watching him. He wondered if Cas had watched during his time with Lisa and Ben. When the apocalypse had been averted Castel had left him to try to restore order to the host of angels who suddenly had nothing to do. Dean had understood that Cas had to go. Dean had always known that the price for the continuation of the earth would be high. He thought he had paid it with the loss of Sam. He had gone to Lisa, because he had nowhere else to go. He had been good to them. Yes he had lied about his true feelings, he'd loved Lisa but not in the way she thought or needed. His heart had always been with angel that had raised him from the depths of hell.
Dean could kick himself; he had actually felt as though the angel felt the same for him as he had for Cas. He had truly felt loved even if they couldn't be together properly
"We can Dean" came the all too familiar voice behind him
Dean didn't turn as the voice, but instead said "We can't pretend you haven't betrayed us all, that you haven't betrayed me"
Dean felt warm breath and body as his angel move closer behind him
"I did everything I did for you, for us, with Raphael defeated I would be free to be with you"
Dean breath hitched as thought of what that would mean. "But to go to a Demon, why didn't you come to me"
"You appeared to be happy and safe, I did not what this war would entail, I didn't want you to be hurt in the cross fire, I couldn't have continued the fight if you had been lost." Cas wrapped his arms around Dean.
"Cas, I can't lose you to a demon"
"You're not going to lose me"
"Get rid of Crowley and we will find another way of stopping Raphael"
"Dean, we are losing the war with Raphael, I need more power to have any hope of defeating him"
"Cas, you can't trust Crowley, He will betray you" Dean had turn in Cas' arms and now stood facing him.
"I know, I am prepared for it. Dean please trust me" Cas leant forward slightly tilting his head, leaving Dean the choice.
Dean stared as Cas' head moved, and dean knew if tasted Cas once more he would not refuse his angel anything. His angel, now that did sound so good in his head.
"Forgive me I know what I do" Dean quietly murmurs to the heavens, before moving in the direction of his final choice….