It's. Finally. HERE. I've been teasing this story for what feels like forever, but it's finally completed. I'm hella proud of myself and proud of how this came out. Huge thanks to Undoubtedly Aesthetic, just for being you. I wouldn't have finished this if it wasn't for your patience and excitement.

That being said, let's get into the serious stuff.

Warning: This fic may be triggering for some people. It centers around abuse and self harm, briefly mentions cancer and alcohol, and heavily implies mental illness and sexual assault. If you are struggling physically, mentally, or emotionally and/or are not comfortable with any of the subjects I've just mentioned, please do no read this story.

-.-

Chapter 1

"I hate this song so much."

The blonde received a chilling look from her best friend. She bit the inside of her jaw to keep from sighing or saying something that would offend him any more than he already had been. Now he was about to start an argument about a song that was so awful that it was physically painful to listen to. "This is real music," he frowned. "Nothing like that crap you listen to. What was that shit you just showed me the other day? Hopeless Kingdom?"

"hopeless fountain kingdom. And Halsey is not crap." (1)

"Yes she is. She's one of the most problematic people in the industry right now. That bitch is annoying. Every time you turn around, she's arguing with someone about something and it's unnecessary. Plus, she keeps saying really offensive stuff in her interviews—"

"Whoa now," Naminé chuckled, trying to keep herself under control. They could disagree without resorting to name calling. They could. "You think her music is bad because she's "problematic"? Not because of the lyrics in her songs or the production of the song, but because you just don't like her as a person?"

He rolled his eyes dramatically. He was just dramatic person by nature. "I mean her lyrics suck too. All in all, I just don't like anything about her or anything she does. I feel like she's just a fake Tumblr girl."

"You're a fake Tumblr girl," she mumbled defensively.

"We know our own kind," he winked as he took another large bite of his Subway sandwich. Naminé crumpled her empty chip bag up in her fist and shoved it into the plastic bag that he kept hanging on his gear shift. The conversation had to end there, or else she would get mad about him disrespecting an amazing artist that had done him no harm whatsoever. He could be so infuriating sometimes…but she wouldn't have it any other way. Childhood friends had that unspoken right to annoy you to the ends of the earth and back without ever leaving your side.

Naminé sneered half-heartedly as she turned her attention to the windshield. "Whatever."

"Don't whatever me."

"Fall in a ditch, Roxas."

"We'll see if you still want me to fall in a ditch after I leave this fall."

Why did he have to bring that up?

The whole point of them hanging out tonight was to forget that he would be leaving her at the end of the summer. He was a senior—just a year older than her—and had a free ride to go practically anywhere in the country because he had been involved in football, Struggle, and track. Meanwhile, Naminé had adamantly refused to get involved in any school activities for her three years of high school, leaving her to rely on her slightly above average grades and some random scholarship somewhere to pay her tuition when the time came.

The thought of him going off to college made her heart sink to her stomach, an awful ache throbbed in the empty cavity that was left. What in the world would she do in school without him? "Have you um…" The quiver in her voice was blatantly obvious, but she quickly cleared her throat in an attempt to cover it. "Have you thought about where you want to go?"

Roxas paused mid chew. "Yeah…I already told you I'm going to Hollow Bastion."

She felt winded. It was so like him to want to go to the school with the best sports team in the nation—the school that was several thousand miles away from her. Why would he want to go to their dumb little community college when he could live out his dream? It was the only thing he really focused on anymore.

"Oh. I thought you said you were thinking about it."

He swallowed his food before he began. "I did, but when you think about it, there's not much to think about." His brow furrowed as he tilted his head to the side. "Did that make any sense to you or am I just stupid?"

"A little bit of both," she smirked. "Which sport are you going for?"

"I don't know yet. I still have all summer to decide, but I've narrowed it down to football and Struggle. Nobody really pays attention to the Struggle teams since it's considered a "kiddie sport" but that's what I love about it. I don't know if I want to be known for what I do, or do what I'm passionate about but be seen on a much smaller scale and get paid way less. Struggle won't make bank and we all know that, but…" A far-away look came to his eyes as his brow furrowed once again. It was clear that he desperately wanted to do both, but that wouldn't be possible for him. He had to pick one and stick with it.

The right decision was right in front of him, but she wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it. "Do you want my honest opinion?"

He shrugged. "Even if I didn't, you'd probably give it to me anyway. Tell me."

Naminé inhaled deeply, then let it out slowly. "Go with football. I know you love Struggle, but I know you'd hate to Struggle financially later on in life because of it. You could still keep it as a hobby for when you have free time."

"Is…that what I want?"

"I don't know. You need to worry about what you need, though. Think about it: if you turn what you love to do into a career, you won't want to do it anymore because then it'll feel like work to you. It'll be a lot of pressure, and the main reason you love Struggle is because it's less pressure than any other sport. Do you want to grow old and look back on Struggle as something you used to love, but can't stand anymore?"

He narrowed his eyes in thought, lowering his sandwich into his lap. The awful song on the radio had long since changed to some advertisement about a store for car parts, but Roxas didn't make any move to search for another station like he normally would have. This was really important to him and she could tell. Hopefully, he would take her advice.

"Yeah…you're right." The corner of his mouth lifted as the tension in his shoulders eased. "Thanks."

"Just doing my best friend duties," she grinned.

Roxas snorted. "Really, thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Sunshine."

"Probably die, I don't know.

He laughed hard. She loved seeing him relaxed like this. No, not quite relaxed, but it was the closest he would get to it for a while. All the talk of college and life after high school that seemed to plague each senior class was clearly getting to him. You could see it starting to take a toll on him physically, what with the heavy bags and dark circles around his eyes. The only thing she had wanted since the beginning of the school year was for him to take it easy and worry about the present. That proved to be impossible.

"You have so little faith in me," he grinned in the most attractive way possible. "I can't die. I am the pinnacle of the human race."

"That's not how you pronounce delusional beyond all reason."

He glared as Naminé laughed at her own joke. "Yeah, okay, talk your shit. But when you're old and wrinkled at eighty-five and I still look like the sexy god that sits before you today, don't say anything. Just know that I told you it would happen. I'd share my secret with you, but you're mean so you can't have it," he said matter-of-factly, turning his nose up at her. It almost wasn't fair. Even when he was being dumb and childish, he was still attractive.

"Okay. When you get to college, don't call me in the middle of the night asking me how to cauterize a paper cut again."

He turned his head away, cheeks lighting up with bright red tint that was visible even in the darkness. "I thought that was what you were supposed to do…"

Naminé laughed, leaning over to wrap her arms around his right arm and rest her head on his shoulder. "It's okay. You can call me for any other reason."

"Promise You won't laugh if it's dumb?"

"I can't do that. You say some pretty dumb things," she laughed.

Again, Roxas rolled his eyes dramatically. "Whatever. The important thing is that I can call you. I'll send you lots of voicemails and pictures, and we can video chat until I pass out from exhaustion. And don't you dare ignore me because I'll be on the next flight out of there." He paused to look down at her over his shoulder, expression caught between something peaceful and something painful. "But I'm really going to fucking miss you."

She returned to her own seat, but not before Roxas leaned over to kiss her forehead. The gesture made her smile.

Until it didn't.

Roxas didn't know what he was putting her through, and she couldn't blame him for the way she was feeling. It was just frustrating and annoying to spend practically every day with the person you loved so much and watch them behave as if they didn't know it. Because they didn't know it. Naminé had decided that she would tell him how she felt at the end of the upcoming summer, but now she was running out of reasons to wait. If she could just have one moment with him where everything was out in the open, and she knew she could relax because he actually returned her feelings…

Maybe it was all the romance novels getting to her.

Maybe it was the never-ending daydream of him smiling and saying something dumb like it's about time you told me.

Maybe it was just plain insanity.

But she had to do it. She had to.

"Can I tell you something?" she blurted before she lost her nerve. "It's kind of serious, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't joke about it."

He offered her an easy smile that nearly made her heart melt. "When have I ever turned down having a serious conversation with you?"

Right. As much as he liked to tease her about being so emotional, he always took her seriously whenever she asked him to. That only made her more confident in her decision to tell him now. He deserved to know before he went off to college, right?

"I really like you, Roxas."

The blond laughed, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. "Of course you do. I'm amazing."

Typical Roxas. He wasn't getting it. He never seemed to get it.

"No, I-I mean…"

On the outside, she looked as cool as ever. She looked like the girl that could let insults and rude comments roll right off her back without so much as a grimace, but she was never that girl. That was just the face she showed the world so that she would appear unbothered. She called it her Absent Face.

The car went silent as he slowly, slowly caught on to what she was trying to say. Even the radio—which she had a tendency to turn off and on like a mood swing—had gone quiet. She didn't need to look at him to know that the playful atmosphere that was once there had changed into something tense and angry. The shift could be felt, and she expected the absolute worst. There was a tiny voice in the back of her head screaming at her that she should have kept her mouth shut. Roxas was her best friend, her next door neighbor, the older brother she had always wanted, the boyfriend she'd never gotten. He was her everything, and she was about to lose him because she couldn't keep it together for just a little longer.

"No."

As mentioned before, she expected rejection. That was why she had kept it in for so long. Never mind that he was the popular, attractive senior that every good high school romance story seemed to have. Naminé was just a weird little sister to him. Why wouldn't he reject her? Why did she even say anything? All those years of hiding her feelings were wasted. For nothing.

"No," he spoke in a much more firm voice as he shook his head. The blonde could only see it out of her peripheral vision because she would definitely vomit if she looked at him directly. Her stomach turned, her palms began to sweat, and her heart started slipping beats. What had she done?

"You don't get to do this to me, Naminé. Not again."

Again? Her brows pinched together in confusion as she turned to him, but refrained from meeting his eye. Anything but his eyes. They were always the most intense thing about him. "What are you talking about?"

"I—never mind. I'm taking you home," he muttered as he roughly twisted the key in the ignition to start the car.

That was odd. It wasn't like him to avoid confrontation. That was more of her style, and he was always the one to force her to talk. It made her angry. He couldn't just swap personalities with her all of a sudden. "Look, it was a lot of courage for me to come out and say that. The least you could do is explain yourself."

"Explain my—?!" He chuckled, allowing his lips to peel back over his teeth in a half smile, half snarl. He looked like he was having a mental breakdown. "I don't have to explain anything. I didn't ask you to tell me that. So whatever you're feeling right now is your own damned fault."

Naminé didn't understand where the sudden animosity had come from. Then again, she probably deserved it. After all these years of putting up with her mood swings and breakdowns, this was the thing that had finally driven him over the edge. His past actions made so much sense now: the way he brushed off what felt like major issues to her, the way he started disappearing in her times of need. She needed too much and she depended on him too much. That was probably the real reason he had taken her to a park in the middle of the night—he had planned to drop her as a friend. She'd just made it easier by giving him a reason to explode.

There was no point in arguing with him about it. Everyone left eventually.

"Sorry, I guess."

Naminé fought back tears as she stared out of the window. The city looked so beautiful at night, but her blurred vision wouldn't allow her to enjoy the lights and the surrounding scenery. It looked like a brightly colored mess. Sadly, she could relate.

Neither of them said a word on the way back to her house, but the radio did pop back on with an ironically happy song halfway there. It was a love ballad, as if the radio itself knew what had just transpired between them and was now mocking her. That was just how her life was. Failure, rejection, humiliation, despair, rinse and repeat. And no, she wasn't being melodramatic like her mother often insisted. If she even knew half of the stuff that went on when she was at school, she would have homeschooled her years ago like Naminé had begged her to. She would always resent her mother for forcing her through those three years of hell. Roxas eventually turned the music off, and they rode in silence once again.

He didn't even pull into the driveway like he usually did when they arrived; he pulled up to the curb and let the car idle instead. There was no see you later, Sunshine. He didn't say a single word to her. That was how she knew he was just going to disappear like everyone else had.

The emotionally exhausted blonde snatched her seatbelt off and powerwalked to her front door to keep him from seeing her tears. Roxas' car sped off down the street before she even made it halfway across the yard, letting her know that he planned to go his cousin's house instead of just going home. He couldn't even stand to be on the same street as her? Now he was mad at her and probably hated her. Things would never go back to the way they were.

She stumbled into the house, quietly made her way up to her room, and fell onto her bed face first. She landed awkwardly on her phone, which reminded her that it probably needed to be charged. As soon as she clicked on the screen, she realized she shouldn't have even looked at it. Or maybe she shouldn't have had a picture of Roxas and his gorgeous smile as her lock screen photo. Didn't make any sense to keep it there now. He wasn't coming back and his actions made that very clear.

Her hands trembled as she removed the picture and replaced it with a generic wallpaper, deleted all pictures of him from her phone, and blocked his number so that she wasn't tempted to contact him and beg for his friendship like she had done to so many other people. She would never put herself through that humiliation again.

Without his number in her phone, the device was useless now. He was the only person she talked to.

-.-

Naminé was sat beneath the large tree in her backyard with a book from the school's library in her hands. She had finished all of her homework at lunch just so she could be able to come home and devote her entire weekend to her one true love: reading.

"Is that the same book from yesterday?"

She shook her head gently as she flipped the page. "No, I finished that," she mumbled distractedly.

"Already? It was like forty-five chapters!"

The happy bookworm smiled to herself. Roxas was a really slow reader, and was always amazed by how fast she could get through her novels. He didn't even want to read when he was around her because he got embarrassed. Even though she had told him countless times before that there was no reason for him to be ashamed, he would always roll his eyes and change the subject.

Roxas frowned. "How many books do you have left to read?"

"Six."

He sighed. She chuckled, then flipped another page. He sort of reminded her of the love interest in that book: kind of dopey, kind of adorable, seemingly hand crafted into a bundle of perfection and neatly gift wrapped for the female protagonist. Except Naminé found it annoying how the protagonist kept ignoring his advances and brushing off his flirting as friendly jokes. It was so painfully obvious that he was into her. Why couldn't she just stop for a second, open her eyes, and accept what he was trying to offer her? Her actions were practically killing him and it was ripping Naminé's heart out to read it. Yet and still, she couldn't put the book down to save her life.

Another, more dramatic sigh hit her ears as she felt her best friend "casually" lie between her legs and rest his head in her lap. That meant he wanted something, but she was busy. The only thing she was worried about was the wind, and hoped it would pick up soon. The last thing she wanted was to have their sweaty skin touching.

Actually, she could think of exactly one instance where such a thing would be acceptable…

Naminé squeezed her eyes shut as she fought down a stubborn blush. How could she have thoughts like that about someone she often referred to as her older brother? That was disgusting.

Suddenly, the book went flying out of her hands as he sighed even louder and even more dramatically. Naminé blinked in surprise, then glared down at the pouting blond boy who was trying hard not to laugh beneath her. His sapphire eyes were full of a playfulness that she didn't want to deal with right now. It had been a stressful week and she didn't feel like play fighting or wrestling with him. "Did you really have to slap my book out of my hands?"

"Yes. Pay attention to me," he whined.

"What do you want?!"

"Attentionnnn!"

Sometimes she wondered which of them was really the oldest in their odd duo. Roxas could be such a child sometimes, although he would never let his other friends know that. Whenever he was around them, he turned into this suave, "panty-dropping" asshole that she didn't recognize. She couldn't stand the smirking and the winking and the flirting. That wasn't the real him. He was only putting up a front for those idiots.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to quell her anger before she grabbed her book and hit him with it. It took a great deal of effort, but she was able to force a smile. Her eyes probably still held the same feelings of irritation, annoyance, and impatience—not that she cared to hide it from him. "Hi Roxas."

"Hey Sunshine," he cooed, grinning wide and showing off all of his teeth. They would have been perfect if he didn't have that tiny chip in his front tooth from that nasty skateboard wipe out back in middle school. No one seemed to notice it, but that was because she was the only one of his friend's that knew what his teeth looked like before the accident.

"Can I get back to my book now?" Naminé asked, covering her words with faux sweetness.

"No. You're been ignoring me all week and I demand five days worth of affection right now."

Naminé blinked. Was that really how he saw it? Had she been so busy with midterms that she had neglected her best friend? In her defense, she thought she was just giving him space to study for his midterms. "I have?"

He gave an affirmative hum and nodded. The sadness in his eyes, though very small, was very real and very hard to ignore. Didn't he know by now that he couldn't hide that from her?

"Roxy…" Naminé melted as she leaned down at an awkward and uncomfortable angle so she could pepper his cheek with kisses. "I'm sorry. I thought you needed to study."

"Pft. Why study when I have people who will sell me the answers? I bought forty dollars' worth of answer sheets. There's no way I was going to fail."

Roxas had a whole cheating ring operation going on at school. Someone would steal the answers from the teacher and someone else took the test first to make sure those answers weren't some kind of bait. Then Roxas would buy the answers for the test and sell them to dumb underclassmen who didn't realize that the tests were different per grade level.

It was…kind of funny to say that she and Roxas were only a grade apart, but now he was considered an upperclassmen and she wasn't.

"I forgot you had a system, you cheater," she smirked as she hit him upside the head.

"I forgot you were such a buzzkill, you…buzzkill."

Naminé laughed as she leaned back against the tree, absently threading her fingers through his spiked hair. "Very articulate. Put that on your application next year and Harvard will be begging on their knees for you. You won't even need a scholarship."

"Ha ha. That was so funny that I forgot to laugh."

"But you did laugh."

His face dropped as he realized what he'd done. "Damn it…"

The blonde giggled almost uncontrollably, and soon enough, he did the same. No matter what face he put on for his other friends, it would never change the fact that he was a massive dipwad. "You should really stop challenging me, Roxy."

"Never. I'll get you one day."

Yeah. Maybe when she was old and senile. "Sure you will."

-.-

Naminé stuffed her books into her locker as quickly as she could. Monday morning had arrived and she was on edge because she felt like every one was staring at her, whispering about her, and judging her for something she had recently done. Did Roxas tell his friends about what happened? If so, she would be mortified. Those guys could spread rumors faster than anyone. She hoped her fears were only fears—it would really suck to be betrayed like this. Just because they weren't friends anymore didn't mean he could embarrass her and make her look like a fool in front of everyone.

She realized she was jumping to conclusions again and forced herself to breathe deeply. Who knows, maybe he just wanted to keep everything to himself and not talk about it.

As she closed her locker, she noticed Roxas a little further down the hall. He was smirking and laughing with his friends as if nothing had happened. Of course he would. They couldn't know he had real feelings; they'd probably make fun of him for being a "girl." She'd asked him several times why he remained friends with them because, obviously, they didn't care about him. They only cared about what he could do for them. Each time she asked, he would get extremely defensive and talk about them like they were such good people. How could someone defend the same people they constantly complained about and not want to do anything about it?

Their eyes met. His smirk dripped off of his features like wet paint as he quickly averted his gaze. At that point, she was aware that he was purposely avoiding looking at her again, but was paying attention out of the corner of his eye. It hurt, and it hurt a lot…but she couldn't say she was surprised. If he wanted to leave, she wasn't going to chase him.

Her Absent Face slipped into place as she grabbed her bag from the floor and pulled the strap over her shoulder. Coming to school wasn't the hard part, it was facing Roxas, or rather, facing life without him. She would have to deal with the fact that the one person she honestly believed would stay in her life forever had left. She forced herself to inhale deeply as she started down the hallway, trying to convince herself that everything would be fine. One of her old teachers used to lecture the entire class about the power of positive thinking all the time. All she had to do was keep positive thoughts in her head. Right?

Time seemed to slow as Naminé walked past Roxas' group of friends with her head held high in faux confidence. There was no Hi Roxas, no Hey Sunshine, nothing. After she'd passed his group, she heard a loud, metallic bang that silenced the entire hall for a couple of seconds. Naminé didn't dare look back. She kept her eyes straight until she made it to her first period class. Surprisingly in one piece. She quickly maneuvered through the desks and sat at her assigned seat. Despite being on the verge of another messy mental breakdown, she considered herself…okay.

"You okay?"

Her heart, which had been beating practically a million miles a minute, had crashed into her stomach without warning. Naminé peered up at his sad smile through her bangs, letting the hot touch of panic envelope her from head to toe. He had been trying to talk to her all last week, and without Roxas to text her throughout the entire period, she was forced to actually pay attention to him. She didn't have the strength to ignore him by herself.

"Fine," she spoke calmly, turning her head away from him. The bell rang, and an adult that she didn't recognize strolled into the room and addressed them by a surname she wasn't familiar with. They had a substitute, who most likely wouldn't force them to do a bit of work. Fantastic. Now she really couldn't avoid him.

He pulled up a chair and sat next to her. She frowned, but refused to look at him as he placed his cold hand atop hers on top of the desk. I see you're still anemic, she thought bitterly. "I can still tell when you're not fine, you know. Talk to me, Nam."

She honestly, truly didn't want to say a single word to him. There was absolutely no reason for him to even want to be in her business…but she needed to get it all out. Her mom probably wouldn't take her seriously, she couldn't talk to Roxas about Roxas, and there was no one else she trusted. Granted, she couldn't trust this guy either, but there was something about the way he first looked at her that made her want to. If he made fun of her for this, then she would just accept it and move on. How much more embarrassed could she get?

"I told him…"

-.-

A pair of freezing cold hands covered her eyes from behind. "Guess," he whispered. She didn't even have to. He was the only dork that did that to her.

"If it's the grim reaper, take me. I've been ready for a while now."

"Oh wow, that was morbid," he laughed as he removed his hands. Naminé smiled as she turned to face him. He smiled down at her, and she took in his appearance for the thousandth time: teal eyes narrowed in their usual smoldering gaze, silver hair spilling over his shoulders from beneath his winter cap, flawless cheeks reddened from the vicious bite of the December wind. Grinning like a fool, she stood up on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. She loved this guy openly, honestly, and unapologetically. Unlike with a certain blond doofus, she didn't have to be ashamed of how she felt about him or hide her feelings. It was exciting.

"You know me," she shrugged as he leaned down to give her a kiss so sweet that it threatened his precious jerk-jock status. Not that he cared. Their lips met, and she couldn't stop herself from giggling against his. Moments like these were almost too good to be true. She rarely ever got to kiss him at school because there was always a crowd. Now that they were alone…

"I know you," another voice chimed in as the sound of snow crunching beneath heavy shoes hit their ears and brought them down from their love cloud. It was too good to be true. She absolutely hated having her time with him interrupted. "Hey Sunshine…Riku."

Riku offered him a polite head nod, but kept his mouth shut. The tension between them was so thick that it was almost unbearable. She desperately hoped that Roxas would behave himself and not pick a fight with him. Things were calm now. Things were great now.

She muttered a shy Hi Roxas, not liking the way his eyes sparkled with mischief. He was up to something and she silently pleaded with him not to do anything dumb. He surprised her by offering her his arm with a polite smile. "Come on. I'm walking you home today."

Riku narrowed his eyes, chest puffing out protectively. Naminé almost panicked at the sight. "Wait a minute, I'm her boyfriend—"

"Mm, good for you. Come on, Naminé."

"She's walking home with me. Right, Naminé?"

Now both boys were looking at her as if they expected her to choose who she would be walking home with on the spot. Why did they always do this to her? No, why did Roxas have to act this way? It wasn't fair to her, and it wasn't fair to Riku. He had asked first.

Naminé reached a hand out to Riku for comfort. Or security. Whichever he could provide in that moment, she would gratefully accept. He took it with a triumphant smile, giving it an encouraging squeeze. "I'll just walk home with Riku today. We can walk together tomorrow."

"But Sunshi—"

"He has to talk to me about something important anyway," she lied. It wasn't that she wanted him to go away; she didn't want him acting like a jerk around her boyfriend again. Roxas knew just how much she cared about him and he was being blatantly disrespectful.

What made his actions seem worse was the fact that she knew he acted out because he was jealous. He'd shamelessly admitted to it on several occasions and told her he didn't want her around him. Not only did he hate the guy for reasons unknown, but he had this crazy idea that Riku purposely took up all of her time and tried to get her to blow him off on purpose. Truthfully, she didn't spend enough time with Riku. If anybody had any reason to be jealous, it would be him. She could understand if that was the case. A good forty-five percent of their plans got cancelled so that she could spend time doing nothing with Roxas.

And she had a sneaking suspicion that Riku knew why.

Roxas frowned. It wasn't his regular frown, but one laced with malice and bad intentions. "You're choosing him over me?"

"It's not like that at all," she tried to explain. She already felt horrible for lying to him. Why did he have to make it worse? "Riku and I just have to talk."

"About what?" he hissed.

"I-I…uh…"

"None of your business," Riku spat, gently pushing Naminé behind him as he took a step forward. "You've got a real bad habit of overstepping Naminé's boundaries and forcing your way into our relationship. If she doesn't want to walk home with you, then that's that. Be a good friend and respect her wishes."

"Fuck you. You are the last goddamned person that should be talking to me about being a "good friend" after the shit you pulled." He returned his icy glare to Naminé, looking absolutely disgusted with her. "Forget it. Choose him over me. It's not like I needed your help or anything."

Her eyes widened in horror. She didn't know Roxas needed her. "That's not fair. If you needed me, why didn't you just say so?"

"I shouldn't have to. You claim you know me like the back of your hand, but you suddenly forget how I act when I want to talk to you about something important? And let's not talk about fair, Naminé. You're always with this guy when I need you. You think that's fair to me?" He paused, scoffing as he shook his head. "You know, I heard friends always leave you hanging when they get into a relationship, but I thought you were better than that. Congratulations, you're just like everybody else."

She hadn't left him. She would never leave him. Had she really been neglecting him for Riku? It was…possible that she was spending too much time with him. God, she was being so selfish. Of course he needed her. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry. You can walk me home. Let's go."

"No. I'm fine. I'll go talk to Olette."

Her heart shattered as he started towards the front gate, where his friends appeared to be waiting for him. They talked for a while, cast curious glances her way, then exited the lot. Tears rushed to her eyes as she contemplated running after him. She hadn't meant to hurt him or abandon him in his time of need. "I'm sorry," she whispered to no one.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, love. Don't buy into that crap," Riku spoke gently.

"I hurt him. I hurt him and I keep on hurting him for no reason. Why do I always mess everything up?"

Riku pulled her into his arms and held her. "You didn't do anything wrong. He just manipulated you into feeling bad for not doing what he wants you to do because he's a child. Don't baby him. You're not his mother."

"No, but his actual mother is sick," she argued, reaching up to wipe the escapee tears from her face. "He's been feeling terrible about it for months and I should have been there for him but I wasn't…"

Riku gently lifted her head so that he could properly see into her eyes. She hated it when he did that. Her crying face was so ugly and she never wanted him or anyone else to see it. "Listen to me. Roxas is manipulating you. And you're so blind to it that he doesn't even have to put any real effort into it to bring you to tears. He's playing with your emotions to get what he wants, and if you go after him and beg for his forgiveness, you'll be giving it to him. I guarantee he'll come crawling back to you with some sob story within the hour to make you pity him."

Naminé wrapped her arms around her boyfriend, tucked her head beneath his chin where it belonged, and silently prayed that he was right. Not about the manipulation, but about him coming back. She didn't want to lose him after everything they had been through. "You really think he'd do that to me?"

"I know for a fact that he is doing that to you."

She sniffed, wiping her face again with her sleeve. "How do I get him to stop?"

"Ignore it and stand your ground. Show him that there are consequences for his actions, and that he can't get away with manipulating you anymore."

In a way, Riku was absolutely right.

A couple of hours after she had gotten home, the door to her room opened just a crack. She could see a single sapphire peek through. Riku's words echoed in her head as she let her Absent Face slip into place. There would be no Hi Roxas today, not after she'd received several passive-aggressive texts about how bad of a friend she was. She returned her attention to her computer.

The door creaked open all the way, then shut loudly. Her skin began to crawl as his boots thudded against the floor, increasing in volume as he approached the bed. She thought she was going to throw up; she thought she was going to get yelled at and lose another friend. Neither happened. Instead, he closed her laptop and took it away from her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, voice as dead as her expression.

Roxas carefully placed it onto the dresser beside her bed, then sat in front of her. His eyes were puffy and his face was completely flushed. It looked as if he had been crying. "I'm sorry, Sunshine. I didn't…mean any of that stuff I said."

She swallowed hard. Naminé had never "stood her ground" with him before, so it took every ounce of her strength not to blurt out I forgive you. Roxas was used to living however he wanted to with her eagerly giving him whatever he desired, despite how it made her feel. Riku had made a lot of sense. It wasn't healthy for her to keep appeasing him. She had feelings too, and he had no right to walk all over them.

And yet she couldn't help but feel relief upon realizing she hadn't completely pushed him away. "Why would you say that to me in the first place?"

He shook his head and chuckled softly, though he didn't appear the slightest bit amused. "I've been trying to tell you what happened all week, but you've been so busy with him that I never got the chance. And I'm not…" His voice cracked as a couple of tears fell from his bottom lid. He was visibly shaken. Naminé hadn't even realized what a mess he was until then: unkempt hair, irritated blotches on his usually clear face, a wrinkled tee, and some old joggers that he swore he would never wear again. The guilt had come back tenfold.

He sucked in a breath before continuing. "I'm not blaming you or anything. He's your boyfriend, and you've asked me to respect that a million times. And I do. I just really needed you today. I need you now."

Her throat tightened as she watched him bury his fingers in his hair and pull. He looked as if he were barely holding it together. She could see his sanity slipping away the longer he sat in front of her, and she feared for the worst. "What's wrong?"

"Mom," he sniffed. "She…they said she had months. I was supposed to go visit her Friday, but I played in that stupid football game instead and I…"

Realization hit her hard as Roxas broke down into sobs. Naminé quickly gathered him in her arms and held him tight. His mother had been diagnosed with cancer several years ago, and had been rapidly declining in health despite all the treatments she'd gone through. It was true that the doctors told them she had a few more months to live, so why did she go so suddenly? How? Two more months wasn't enough time to say goodbye when you were expecting to have eight.

Naminé squeezed her eyes shut, hoping to pour all the love she had in her heart into him so it wouldn't have to hurt as much. "I am so sorry for not being there. I should have known something was wrong the moment you lashed out at me."

"It's not your fault," he mumbled almost incoherently, choking through half of his syllables. She rocked him gently and kissed his forehead repeatedly in a weak attempt to calm him down. He started to hyperventilate at one point, and she had to tell him to breathe before be passed out.

Roxas had never cried that hard in his life. Not even as a child.

He eventually calmed down some time after the sun had set. It took for his voice to finally go out before he began to collect himself. By then, the collar of her shirt was already thoroughly soaked in tears, sweat, and a fair amount of snot, but she didn't care. It seemed like a trivial thing to be worried about at a time like that.

"I'm sorry," he rasped. "For everything I said. I'm a piece of shit and I don't deserve to have you as a friend."

"Shut up, Roxas. None of that matters right now."

He exhaled, sniffling again to clear his nose. "I'm not a good person."

Naminé shrugged. "Are any of us really good or bad people? We're all just trying to get along the best way we know how. You made a mistake and I forgive you. As long as you forgive me for not realizing you needed me sooner."

Roxas offered her a smile, although it was weak. "I do, and I'm so grateful for your forgiveness. You're the only person I can be open and honest with because you're the only one who cares. I've had to hold that in for a whole week because I couldn't bear to hear damn, that sucks from the guys."

"That's because they don't care. They only want a fun time with you."

"No, they're just…I wouldn't expect them to know how to handle me." Naminé rolled her eyes. He always defended them. "But you do. You know me so well and you make me so happy. It was dumb of me to expect you to know I was in pain. I've treated you like shit today and I'm really sorry."

"Stop apologizing. It's okay, I promise."

A comfortable silence settled over them as she held him. Although he wasn't sobbing anymore, he still trembled like mad. He only seemed to stop during the few seconds that she would spare to kiss different parts of his face. Eventually, he fell asleep. Naminé struggled to gently lay him down and tuck him beneath her sheets like he had done for her several times in the past. His brow pinched together in his sleep, and he occasionally whimpered and fidgeted, but she was there through it all.

That was when she realized she couldn't lie to herself anymore.

"I really love you," she smiled as she brushed his hair out of his face. She had expected to feel better after saying that, but was instead filled with guilt. She felt like she had betrayed Riku. She knew she had.

-.-

"I love you more, Sunshine."

-.-

(1) hopeless fountain kingdom is an album by Halsey. The reason it isn't capitalized is because Halsey stayed that leaving the title in lowercase is very important.

For those of you who have made it this far:

Here is the first chapter of Skies Are Gray! The reason I added "fragmented" to the title is because the story is broken up into different parts and scattered around. The story is set up like this: Present/past/present/past. The present story line is in chronological order, but the past events are not. So you can kind of think of this story like a puzzle. The more you read, the more you find out about events and characters and why certain characters have the opinions they do. By the time you finish, you'll have the entire story.

If you get confused, please ask tons of questions. I will be answering them all at the end of this fic. Trust me, I have a plan and it's gonna be awesome.

Also, thank you for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it.