A/N: This is my first multiple chapter fic! The idea for this was inspired by fbi_woman's Surprise, Surprise, so this is a shout-out to her for making my brain go hmmmm. This fic is headed in a completely different direction, though.
Buckle up for some serious angst ahead! I AM planning a happy ending, though. Seriously, most of the epilogue is already written even though the in-between chapters aren't. My outline plans for 10 chapters plus the epilogue, but we'll see what the characters say about that. :)
"Yo, Buck!"
Buck's in the locker area of the firehouse getting back into his street clothes after his shift when he hears Chimney holler his name from the loft above. He finishes pulling his shirt over his head and takes the stairs two at a time. When he gets to the top, he's about to ask Chimney what he wants when he comes face to face with a young woman about his age. She's short with dark hair and brown eyes and looks slightly familiar. She seems nervous but determined, and he feels his stomach sink.
Chimney gestures to the woman with his thumb. "I think we got another one of your victims here."
The woman's expression changes to surprise, and Buck feels the need to defend himself even though he's pretty sure that he doesn't actually know her. "Not victims," he says reassuringly, "at least, not on purpose. Did you maybe get a bunch of messages from an old dating site account of mine and I eventually stopped answering? See, there was this guy who stole my account and was using it to catfish women. He died and they got mad that he ghosted them and they kept showing up wherever I was. The last one threw a glass of water in my face."
Now she just looks amused. He stops talking when she shakes her head and clears her throat. "No," she answers, "I'm not one of them. We've met before, but I'm not surprised you don't remember. We were both pretty drunk."
"Oh," he says awkwardly, reaching an arm behind him to scratch at the back of his neck. "So, what can I do for you?"
"Emily," she supplies helpfully. She looks past him and sees Chimney pretending not to listen. "Is there a place we can talk privately?"
"Uh, sure." He leads her down the stairs and out behind the firehouse. Once they stop moving, she tries to get right to the point.
"So," she begins, "here's the thing."
Buck slides his hands in his pockets and looks her in the eye, giving her his undivided attention. All of her confidence seems to melt away.
"Shit," she mutters. "When I was practicing this in the mirror at home, there wasn't anybody looking at me except me. Can you just, well, not look at me while I say this?"
Buck's a little amused despite the apparent gravity of the situation, but agrees. He positions himself with his back against the building and gestures at her to stand next to him. "You don't have to look at me," he says patiently, pointing to the tree a few feet in front of them, "just talk to the tree."
Emily takes a deep breath and nods, and then steps toward him gingerly. When she settles against the building, she's still at least an arm's length away. Buck begins to think this is more serious than just a couple of unanswered messages. "Better?" he asks her, trying hard not to let onto his growing feeling of unease. She nods again, seemingly taking a moment to gather herself. Before he can say anything else, she starts speaking again.
"We met at your roommate's Fourth of July party almost two years ago. Some of my friends dragged me along because I was going through a shitty breakup and they said I needed to get over him by, uh, getting under someone else." She blushes a little at that, but soldiers on. "They eventually abandoned me and you saw me sitting alone on the couch. You sat down next to me and we talked for a while. We were both already drunk, and we had more. Then we…..well, we slept together. I missed my next period and long story short, now I have a kid."
Startled, Buck looks over at her uncomprehendingly, but she continues to face forward. "I'm sorry for bothering you here, but your roommate said it was the best chance of actually getting you face to face. He thought you should be done with your shift by now." She chances a cautious glance at him. "I know this is a lot, but everyone in my life says you deserve to know. They don't think I should hide this from you anymore."
Buck feels as though all the air has been sucked out of his lungs. "I need to sit down," he manages to say. He sinks to the ground, his back still against the building. Head in his hands, he takes a few deep breaths and then looks up. Emily crouches down beside him hesitantly.
"Don't take this the wrong way," Buck says to her carefully, "but are you sure it's me?"
She gives him a sympathetic look. "The only other guy I slept with during that time was my ex, and I finally got him to agree to a paternity test. We got the results back a week ago. It's not him."
"Oh," Buck says. "Ok."
He's still too shocked to properly respond, so she takes pity on him and hands him a scrap of paper with her name and number on it.
"I'm not here because I want anything from you. I really don't. We're doing fine on our own and I have a great support system in place already. I think everyone is right, though. Liam deserves the chance to know his father. You deserve the chance to know your son."
She pauses again while Buck processes. "Liam?" he repeats blankly.
She smiles. "Our son. He's about 11 months old now. Do you want to see a picture?"
He nods robotically, still unable to form a coherent sentence.
She pulls out her phone and opens her photo album, then turns the screen toward him. The photo is of a chubby-cheeked infant grinning up at the camera from the inside of a stroller.
"Wow," is the only thing that Buck can say. The baby is certainly cute, but Buck doesn't feel any sort of familial connection or any other emotion that he's always expected he'd feel if he ever had a kid.
Off his lackluster reaction, Emily says reassuringly, "I don't expect you to believe me without a DNA test. That can be the first step, if you want."
"DNA?" he asks weakly. All he seems to be able to do is repeat her own words back at her, but she doesn't seem to be the least bit bothered.
"Paternity," she informs him. "Like I said though, if you don't want to be involved or even find out, that's okay. If you want to reach me though, you can just call or text." She stands up and looks down at Buck, who is still desperately trying to gather himself together. "Are you okay? Do you want me to go get someone for you?"
"No!" Buck doesn't really want to imagine his coworkers' reactions to this bombshell. "Don't. Really, I'm okay." He's trying to convince himself as much as her, and judging from the skeptical look on Emily's face, it's completely obvious. She waits while Buck takes a couple more deep breaths, and when he meets her gaze again, he sees nothing but kindness reflected in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she says sincerely. "I felt the same way when I realized I was pregnant. Like the rug was pulled out from underneath me. My whole world changed." She leans down and tentatively lays a hand on his shoulder. "You really, truly don't have to do anything. Take your time; I just want to ask you to let me know what you decide, ok?"
Buck glances at her hand and covers it with one of his own. He squeezes gently. "I can do that."
"Thank you." She gives him a small smile and straightens back up again. "I have to get going. Are you sure you don't want me to go get anyone?"
He shakes his head and tries to sound braver than he feels. "Nah, I'll be okay."
She nods and gives a small wave before disappearing back around the building. One she's gone, Buck slumps over again, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He stays like that for a few minutes, willing himself to breathe and trying to calm the flood of thoughts rushing through his head.
He eventually walks back into the firehouse in a daze and runs into Chimney, who regards him curiously. "What the hell happened with her? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Buck doesn't answer right away, and Chimney notices the paper in his hand and whistles. "She gave you her number? Way to go, man!"
"It's not like that!" Buck snaps.
Chimney raises an eyebrow. "Why not? You know what they say, while the cat's away….."
Buck doesn't even dignify that remark with a response. He pushes past Chimney and walks out of the firehouse to his jeep. He knows the other man is just messing with him, but the insinuation that he'd so willingly chase after the next girl he saw when Abby has barely been gone a week pisses him off.
He's sitting alone in his jeep staring at the slip of paper Emily gave him when he sees Bobby making his way out to his own vehicle. Without a moment's hesitation, he opens the driver's side door and hops out.
"Cap," he hollers before he can change his mind, "can I talk to you?"
Buck thinks he must look as distressed as he feels, because Bobby takes one look at him and strides right over. "You okay, kid?" Bobby asks, placing a concerned hand on Buck's shoulder. "You look like you're gonna pass out."
"I don't know," Buck answers honestly. "I'm, uh, I'm kinda on a ledge, here."
"Okay," Bobby says decisively, "we'll talk over food. You hungry?"
"Yeah," he lies. Buck's nerves are so shot that he doubts he'll even be able to eat, but he's not in a position to turn down a willing ear.
"Great, I'm driving." Bobby glances at him as if he expects an argument, but Buck just nods and gratefully follows him without another word.