Disclaimer: I wish I owned Danny Phantom! Desiree: -turns me into Butch Hartman- AHHHHHHHHH! CHANGE ME BACK CHANGE ME BACK! -is changed back-
Summary: Danny reflects on the Circus Gothica life he has and wonders why he picked it in the first place. Songfic
Rating: T
Inspiration: The song, Turn the Page by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullets band
Pairings: Heavily mentioned DannyxSam, slight onesided DannyxOC
Warnings: None
Other Notes: This was once part of Kaya's Danny Phantom Oneshots, but I can't help but really dislike those all those oneshots in one story. Only the really good authors, who always produce brilliant oneshots, can pull that off. I can't. So I'm posting my more favorite ones, after fixing them up a bit, and publishing them under their own story.
Other Note: I removed the song lyrics. Apparently it's against the rules.
Seventeen year old Danny sighed as he put his head against the window of the Circus Gothica semi-truck. He listened to the sound of the train as it continue to chug down the tracks sadly. He had his own cart, like every other performance. It was a nice cart, far from the circus animals that always produced a foul smell.
They were next to the highway east of Omaha, going to their next performance in...oh why bother remembering? It was all a blur, the same performance, the same show. Nothing really changed. It was all the same, repetitive bull. Heaven forbid they mix up anything.
Danny blinked back tears when he thought about Sam. She was there. She was watching his circus act at last night's performance in Amity Park. She was so different since he left for Circus Gothia three years ago. She seemed more...sad and even more gothic than ever before. Her hair was longer, her skin paler and her attire even blacker. Somehow it made her both more beautiful and a sight that would take his breath away. How much had he changed in her eyes? Would she even know who he was anymore? He was tempted to stay and catch up, but knew if he did, she would just beg him to come back. He couldn't come back now.
It was too late.
It wasn't hard for thoughts to wander as he traveled. There was little to do. He had read all of his books many times over, there was only so much Netflix a guy could watch. He played some hand-held video games, but he had become bored of them. Often his thoughts drifted to the past. His parents. They must have missed him so much, often wondered where he was. His sister probably figured it out, but the question was if she had told his parents. Probably not, for the sake of his secret. Valerie? Overjoyed that Phantom was gone. A small pity party that Fenton had disappeared as well. Hell, she probably blamed Phantom for Fenton being missing. Come to think of his, his parents probably did too.
He thought about Tucker a lot too. There were many occasions he was tempted to dial the boy's number and talk to him. Catch up, learn what was happening with his brother from another mother. He often smiled when he thought about the many video game marathons, late night movies and male-bonding.
And Sam.
It was hard to think about Sam, but he did it more than anybody else. It was so hard to forget it. He could still see what she looked like when he left, and every single time they made their way back to Amity Park. She always was a little different, a little more goth, a little more pale, and a little more beautiful. It almost made him wished that he could stay. He found himself regretting leaving, and he began to want to have stayed with her. To have more late night talks, have her snuggled up next to him during movies and TV marathons, to have another snowball fight. Now he found himself wishing that he had watched the sunrise with her more, had asked for more just her and him time, to give her a real kiss instead of a fake-out, make-out. More than ever, he just wanted to have had a little more time with her.
Danny shook his head to shake away the thoughts. He shifted to become more comfortable in his seat, sighing as he pulled his hood up. Why did he ever agree to this life?
"Phantom?"
Danny smiled slightly at the female voice, stirring in his sleep. It was so sweet, so soothing, so much like Sam's. Reality sunk in when the girl began to shake him awake. He snapped his eyes open to see Lucille. She was one of 'Dracula's' victims, one of the animal trainers and she was also the Dark Fairy Queen in the show, but right now, she was just Lucille. Danny was different. He played the Grim Reaper and Dracula when Justin was sick, but he always felt like he was the Grim Reaper. Unlike Lucille, he never really felt like he stopped playing the role.
"We're going to get something to eat," she told him. "It's a sit-down restaurant. Freakshow said there's a thirty minute wait until we can be seated, but I didn't know if you needed to use the bathroom real quick."
Danny muttered a thanks and sat up, cracking his back. A sit-down restaurant meant that it was the last stop before their next show. That meant they were close.
He slipped out of the cart. He didn't have to use the bathroom, so he followed Lucille, carrying the bucket as she fed some of the animals. He didn't know nor did he ever question if she was a ghost, but he suspected it because of just how well and perfectly the animals responded to her touch and kind smile. He never really cared to get to know her. Lucille had long black hair, bright violet eyes and was Gothic, of course. Her figure was slim and beautiful, and a proclaimed vegetarian. She reminded him too much of Sam.
Danny followed the others into the restaurant. He was in his human mode, and Freakshow was very insistent that he didn't wear his Grim Reaper hood when he went into the restaurant. Lucille had found him a gray hoodie with a huge hood that hid his face. He didn't want to accept it from her, but he eventually did when Freakshow began to really crack down on that rule.
He knew Lucille was friends with everybody, and that she was desperately trying to befriend him, but the truth was that he just didn't care. She just reminded him too much of Sam.
Danny always felt the eyes draw to him. They always glanced through the circus members but always rested on him. The others were fairly normal looking outside of their costumes. Two got double-takes due to their heavy tattoos, but that was all.
But Danny always got the stares. He was always the 'elusive' one of the Circus Gothica. People were fascinated by his hood, always wanting to see his face. He knew that they were hoping for a Phantom of the Opera thing, that he would be hideously dis-formed and ugly. He always refused. He could stop it, but h refused to risk somebody recognizing him as the missing boy from Amity. He couldn't go back there.
So instead, he swallowed his anger, focused too hard on the menus and pretended. He pretended that nobody was pointing, nobody stared or laughed or talked about him.
Danny never dared to take a stand or defend himself. He was somewhat friends with Justin, but that was mainly because he would cover for Dracula on occasions and help him with his costumes. Justin also helped Danny set up his act. He liked Justin. They didn't talk much, just grunts and grumbles were good enough communication for them.
And that was just what Danny wanted.
The circus members walked together in two groups to the train as Freakshow paid their bill. The first group was most of them, the second group was Justin, Danny and Lucille.
"Did you enjoy your dinner?" she asked them.
Justin grunted. Danny grumbled. And they both knew that they liked their food, but Lucille looked a bit heartbroken and confused that they wouldn't give her a real answer. She didn't push it, having already tried that multiple times. Instead, she silently walked with them, and they split to go to their separate carts. Freakshow came out ten minutes later, and they began to move.
Danny snuggled back into his bed. It shouldn't be that much longer until they reached their next destination.
"There's no escape, girl. Not when the Grim Reaper himself is coming for you!"
Danny took a deep breath. That was his cue.
He walked across the tightrope, using his scythe as a balance. He put the bottom of the scythe on the rope and pushed himself up, balancing with his hand. He felt sweat forming when he remembered how high up he was always was. The loud music that Freakshow had Andy play during his act always made it hard to concentrate. His fingers slipped slightly from sweat, so he came back down.
Lucille was on the rope, dressed in a normal teen's outfit and pretending to be frightened. Danny silently took his scythe up, and he pretended to swing for her. She gave a convincing shriek and walked backwards. He wasn't worried for her. While she was only temporary since the normal performer, a blond named Misa, had dropped the act for a while in order to help perform others, she was still a good tightrope walker. There was no safety, but Lucille had done this hundreds of times with no problems or accidents.
She took another step back from Danny, who swung again. Danny glanced down at her feet, and he noticed her back foot wasn't very properly placed on the rope, so when she moved her front foot to the back, she lost her balance. She gave a loud, real scream of terror.
Danny dropped down, having the scythe blade hang on the rope, grasping the handle. He grabbed her wrist before she could fall. Pulling her up, he let go but quickly held her around her waist.
"Uh...Do not think you can escape me," he spoke loudly, improvising. Lucille was beginning to tear up in fright. He knew she wasn't acting, but still thinking about the near miss. "Nobody can escape Death."
Everybody began to cheer loudly. Lucille let tears fall down her cheeks. The act wasn't over, but Freakshow seemed to notice the emergency and quickly directed attention over to another ring.
Danny shifted her in his arm to keep a better grip on her. She glanced down, and so did Danny to notice that they were setting up the safety net. A few seconds later, they motioned that it was safe for Danny to let go. He looked at Lucille, and he bit his lip.
"It's okay," was all he said, but she seemed to calm down, and Danny let go of the rope. They fell into the safety net. Lucille was shaken, but both were unharmed.
Danny walked away to help set up for the next act, not wanting a conversation with Lucille. This whole incident just gave him unwanted memories, his mind nagging him about three years ago when he saved Sam from a similar fate.
It was midnight.
Danny laid awake in his bed, looking out the window at the stars. He couldn't stop thinking about the near miss, constantly thinking back to when it was him and Sam. What if he hadn't broken Freakshow's control in time to save Sam three years ago? It was so close, much closer than Lucille. He couldn't help but wonder and think and feel guilt over a possibility from years ago.
"There's no escape, girl. Not when the Grim Reaper himself is coming for you!"
Everything Freakshow said always echoed in his brain after a performance, but every time this phrase was echoed, he had to shake his head. It was his fault Lucille tripped. It was his fault Sam tripped all those years ago. It was his fault, and he was close to being the cause of two deaths.
He sat up and kicked the covers back. Maybe he needed some air.
Danny walked out of his cart and out a few feet towards a tree. He floated up to a thick branch and sat on it, leaning against the trunk.
"Phantom?"
Danny snapped to see Lucille on the ground, looking up at him. She was in a night shirt and shorts. He grunted at her.
"Thank you...for not letting me fall...Misa said that fall could have killed me."
He didn't reply, instead looking up at the stars. He glanced over, and he saw Lucille still standing there.
"Uh...well...good night, Phantom," she said softly. Danny heard her walk away from the tree. When looking over at her, he saw her climb back into her cart.
Danny sighed, pulling out a cigarette pack from his pocket. He took one out, holding it in his mouth as he put the rest away. He used his ghost powers to light it, taking in a deep inhale before letting the smoke escape his lips as he thought. He remembered the last thing Sam told him before he left. She was the only person he told.
"Danny, you can't leave!" she sobbed, tears mixing with black eyeliner to form dark tears on her pale cheeks. He could remember the heartbroken expression she held, hold tightly she clung to his hand, tugging on it to prevent him from flying away. "You can't just go, we need you! I need you. Danny...I...I...Danny."
He had given her a long stare before wiping her tears, kissing her cheek, whispering an "I love you, and I will miss you" before going away.
He couldn't believe he had left all of that behind.
Danny flicked the ashes into the air, and they floated on the wind into the dirt. Soon, he finished, dropping the cigarrette on the ground after putting it out on the branch. He reached into his pocket and pulled a second one out.
Tomorrow they performed again. He lit up the second one, and took a deep inhale.
Then they left, and in two days they'd be in their next location. Three more days, then performing for four days then a week long trip later, they'll stay in Vegas for nearly five weeks, with a performance five nights a week. That was going to be lovely. He exhaled, thinking deeply.
After that, he wasn't sure. But he couldn't help but wonder if he would have the courage to say hello to her the next time they were close to Amity Park.