Hi so here's the first chapter.. not very long but let me know what you think :)

Warnings: Rated M for mature readers. language and maybe lemons in later chapters

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own bleach. the character's belong to the creates. i DO NOT make any profit from writing fan fiction

Ichigo Kurosaki sat on his bed starring at his shaking hands trying to forget about what he had seen. The tears fell fast and heavy down his reddened cheeks. There was a loud knock on the door downstairs. He stood on shaky legs, his sock covered feet making quiet padding noises as he walked down the stairs, not bothering to look through the spy hole he pulled it open and wanted to slam it shut. Stood in front of him was Abarai Renji, his ex-boyfriend. Ichigo glared at him his hand balling into a fist at his side, but even as the sudden anger flowed through his veins the tears still fell. In all truth Ichigo was heartbroken, he had been with Renji for almost five years, they had been happy until Renji fucked up.

"What" Ichigo snapped at him and the redhead flinched at the venom in his voice. The redhead brought his hand up to stroke the tears away from his loves face but it was smacked away by said love "Ichi" the redhead whispered

"Don't call me that! You have no right to call me that you bastard!" Ichigo shouted at him. Renji stood there opening and closing his mouth like a fish, his tattooed eyebrows furrowing "Ichi baby, let me explain, it isn't what you think"

Ichigo glared at him, baring his teeth. He lifted his hands and rammed them into the redheads chest, making him stumble backwards. Ichigo stepped out of the house slamming the door behind him "there's noting to explain you prick! I know what I saw Abarai!" he shouted at the redhead hitting him in the chest again causing the larger man to whimper slightly. Angry tears flowed down ichigo's face making his eyes and face feel raw. Ichigo was about to hit the redhead again when his wrists were gripped in a bruising grip causing him to flinch.

"Ichi please listen to me. Im sorry. It was a mistake, an accident that never should have happened" the redhead said to the orangeett. His eyes roamed over the tall lean built body, imagining the muscles under those clothes. Ichigo could feel Renj's gaze on him, roaming over his body growling slightly. Pulling at Renj's grip snapped him out of raping Ichigo with his eyes "che, an accident" Ichigo laughed "give me a break Renji , how does your dick accidentally end up in someone's ass!" he snapped and pulled at the grip again and Renji let go of him. Gingerly rubbing his wrists Ichigo looked eyes with Renji his brown eyes locking with renji's own set, sighing he turned walking back to his home.

"Ichi please wait, talk to me baby please" Renji pleaded with the orangeett. Ichigo stopped and looked over his shoulder looking at Renji "were done" he said and walked back to his home, opening the door and without looking back he slammed it shut. Slamming it shut on his life with Renji. From that day on Ichigo promised himself that he would never fall in love again, he locked away his heart, turned off his emotions and forgot about the word love.

The months passed and he had changed a lot. He wore a constant scowl on his face, his orange brows constantly furrowed. He rarely smiled; the only people that could get him to smile were his younger sisters, Karin and Yuzu. The alarm clock blared, waking him from his dreamless sleep. Yawning he reached over and slammed his fist on the annoying piece of technology and reluctantly got out of bed. Tugging his shirt over his head he stretched, his joints and bones popping. He sighed in content at the feeling. Lying down on the floor, lifting his legs and locking them at the ankles and placing his hands behind his head he began his morning workout. Many sit ups and push ups later, the lactic acid running through his muscles and his swear drenching his body and hair, making it darker. He walked to the bathroom and switched the shower on, turning it on to the highest heat he stripped down and stood under the steady stream of water, he rested his head on the wall as the scorching water hit his back, closing his eyes welcoming the darkness. Knocking on the front door brought him back from his mind. Switching off the shower he got out and wrapped a towel around his waist and walked to the door and opened it, walking into his room, pulling on a pair of sweat pants. He walked down the stairs with the towel wrapped around his shoulders catching the falling droplets from his slightly longer orange hair. Waking to the front door pulling it open , taking one look at who it was and slammed it again "Ichi open the door" the voice shouted on the other end of the door, Ichigo ignored it and walked back upstairs , lying on his bed and putting in his earphones, ignoring the knocking on the door.

So this is the first chapter, let me know what you think. all reviews are welcome, they will be used as constructive feedback.

Thanks for reading!

Meesh