The Riddler kept walking around and around. Not only did his legs and back hurt he had to become the victim of the merciless taunting of the formerly imprisoned police officers. Sure he kind of deserved it, but all of his traps were easily escapable if they just thought for a moment. Instead of all that useless screaming. Instead they were tortured and had to be saved by a grown man in a bat costume. Morons.

"Hey Riddler!" Cash, the ringleader, were yelling again. "What's green, stupid, and in pain?" his cohorts snickered behind him.

"You after I dip you in acid and force you to walk into Gotham Bank with a bomb strapped to your legs that goes off whenever you stop or leave the premises." He wouldn't actually, To much of a hassle and no challenge, but that will cause some sleepless weeks and might shut them up.

"Don't make me press the button Eddie." Fuck Cash. The Riddler just clenched his teeth and continued around the track. How dare he! Did he not know who he was messing with? And by calling him his civilian name, only friends and his psychiatrist were allowed to call him that! (his psychiatrist because it seemed to calm her down before he messed her head. Bitch had it coming. Listen to his tapes. You'll know.)

Just then the first missile was launched. They were bombing the city! The Riddler was shaken, but not thrown of track. It had to be big enough to cause damage, but not to Gotham and by the shake it gave it was targeted at the quadrant next to his. Damn, then depending on which way they go his hideout could be next!

"What was that?"

"Oh god, it must be the joker!"

"Don't worry it sounded like it was on the other half of the city. Batman will handle it. Keep positions."

"Are you really that stupid? That was caused by a small missile, but still way too big to be smuggled in even by that asshole Joker! It's coming from an outside source, which means they know your here and do. Not. Care! Get me out of here!"

"Oh shut up Riddler. We're not falling for any of your tricks, and we're not responding to any of your threats. Just let it go." The Riddler screamed and struggled, but continued to walk. "Hey wait." Cash smiled as he passed him. "Pass me the taser, I don't think Eddie here is going fast enough. Do you?" the other cops laughed wildly while one handed over the small, painful electrical device.

"If you touch him with that thing we'll have to hurt you." Two-Face walked down the hallway flipping his coin with two bulky and armed guards behind him. The one on the right was dressed in white while the one on the left was clad in black.

The police officers turned. Cash reached to his gun, but before that Harvey flipped his coin and signaled the henchmen on the right whose bullet grazed Cash's shoulder. Who then promptly fell to his knees grasping his arm and swearing. While The same henchman collected the detonator.

"Luck was on your side this time Cash. All of you, kick over your weapons and get into the corner or lefty here is going to be let loose. And he doesn't miss." The officers did what he said, carrying Cash along with them.

Two-Face inspected the device, popping open the bottom reveling just an empty container. "Pfftthahahahahahahaha!" He continued laughing intill the Riddler came back around.

"And what, pray tell, is so funny it has distracted you from disarming the bomb?"

"There is no bomb."

"What?" for a moment the Riddler's brain stopped working, then his legs did. No. NO. The Bat COULD NOT have made this big of a fool out of him. NO!

"Batman disarmed it." Two-Face smirked with the good side of his face while pulling out a knife and cutting his friend free. When removing the helmet he noticed the Riddler's face. "What? Embarrassed that the Bat pulled one over on you huh Eddie?"

"W-well at lest he didn't hang me over acid in front of Catwoman who has probably told everyone inside the city by now." Harvey's face (well half of it) went back to his usual serious expression.

"I come all the way here to get you out of the way of the missiles and this is how I'm treated? Perhaps I should just leave you with them then." He nodded at the again capture police (not to smart are they?) who were glaring at the two.

"Fine. Sorry. Thank you Harv." With that the smaller man gave a quick kiss on both Harvey's cheeks while the others arms wrapped around the Riddler's waist and pulled him into a deeper kiss.

"We better scram Eddie. We don't want to get blown to bits." Two-Face told him after their lips broke, but they were still close enough for their noses to touch.

"But I don't want to walk anymore."

"Well, what do you want me to about it?"

"How does a man carry something old, new, borrowed, and blue?"

Harvey just sighed and shook his head picking up his boyfriend bridal style. "I'm putting you down as soon as we're outside, and if anyone sees us I'm telling them that I was carrying you unconscious to the dumpster when you woke up."

Edward threw his arms around the scared man and nuzzled into his chest. "Later I'll treat those new scratches of yours. Then they shouldn't scar."

"I love you."

"Love you too Hravey."

While walking down the hallway Eddie jumped a little in his arms. "Oh wait. What about the police?"

"Oh right. Can you flip it? My hands are busy right now." The Riddler giggled and flipped the coin and showed the results to Harvey.

The two smiled and nuzzled a bit before Two-Face casually called over his shoulder while walking away.

"Kill them."