Author's note: This is my first fanfic for New Girl. Fell in love with the show since the first episode. Obviously, I don't own the show, or any other copyrighted items mentioned (otherwise I'd be rich, lol). Any and all feedback is welcome, I know it isn't perfect so I'm very open to constructive criticism. I don't mind someone suggesting, "Well, I didn't like this," or "If you did this instead of that, it would've been good", I don't mind those, but please don't tell me I suck and should forever quit writing. If you have a suggestion, feel free to say it and I will do my best to incorporate it into the next chapter. Alright, just to give you a brief summary (in case you didn't read the summary), this chapter is set right after the "See ya" episode. I may or may not continue this, depends on how the reviews go and if people want me to keep writing. I hope you enjoy it, and please let me know if I can do anything different.
"Welcome back, you clown."
Jess said with a smile to her best friend returning to the loft after a brief stay with Caroline in the apartment. She felt proud of herself as she closed her bedroom door as AC/DC continued to play throughout the rooms. Closing her bedroom door after a long gaze at the smiling and goofy, but handsome man that is her roommate. She hesitated slightly, but eventually willing her hand to push the door close so as to have a moment of peace to herself, her body beginning to move in weird and wacky ways that identified her as Jessica Day. Joy couldn't be helped but run through her veins as she flopped onto the bed, remembering the previous night she spent in the desert with Nick, Schmidt, Winston and Cece. Between witnessing Winston's freak out about the night and running like a maniac, and her and Nick acting like roadrunners to scare off the coyote, she couldn't help but giggle and laugh at some of the moments. Of course, she couldn't remember the entire previous night without Schmidt and Cece breaking up. Her smile faded slightly, feeling a little down because she witnessed how happy they made each other, no matter how dysfunctional the relationship might've been. A tear threatened to run away down her rosed cheeks when she felt the air rush from her door suddenly opening. She sat up, adjusting her flannel pajamas to hide her bra as she turned to see the one man who could infuriate her and still make her smile with his silly rants.
"Jess, you making breakfast? I could really use your happy face pancakes today." Nick monotonously asked, his face drooping from a bad argument. He stood in the doorway of his quirky roommate's bedroom, half-way leaning into her personal space, not daring to fully step in.
Jess quickly dabbed the corner of her eye to force the sadness back in as she put on her best 'happy smile'. "Y-yeah, sure. Give me a minute and I'll get started." Her smile widened a little bit more as she gingerly stepped off her bed. Nick felt a sudden skip in his heartbeat, watching her walk towards him. Even with her flannel pi's that a lumberjack wouldn't dare to don in the middle of the forest, glasses slightly crooked and hair in a beautiful tangled mess, she was just as beautiful as any other moment. He could feel something was wrong with her, her smile seemed off as he quizzically raised his eyebrow. "You ok? Something seems wrong." "Yeah, I'm just still getting over everything that happened last night and today." Nick heart dropped slightly, he couldn't bear to even think that he had done something wrong again. "It isn't because of me coming back, is it? Because you were totally right, Caroline and I would never have-" Her slender finger pressed on his lips, any sign of breath or heartbeats melted away even with the slight touch of her skin on his. "Nicholas Miller, you keep blabbing on and no happy pancakes for you." She slowly withdrew her index finger as she studied his face, how rugged it looked from a few days of not shaving, how he looked at her as if he couldn't get enough of her touch. "Now let me get dressed so I can make you pancakes." He watched as the door inched closer and closer until he heard the lock click, turning back to walk towards the living room when he heard soft, angry knocks on the door. Jess could hear who knocked, and peeked out from behind the door to hear who was tapping their fists angrily, hoping the other guys were still asleep. Nick drudged over to the door and opened it, much to the dislike of seeing Caroline standing in front of him with a box of items. Her face red and blotchy from crying, but she looked more pissed than anything. Nick braced himself for the inevitable yelling match.
"Nick Miller, you are by far the worst person to walk this earth. After all the chances I gave you, you tell me you don't want to be with me because SHE made you realized I was wrong for you? What kind of bullshi-"
Nick tried to shush her, to keep her from waking up Schmidt and Winston's "beauty sleep", but most of all so Jess couldn't hear this part of the conversation. She stood in her doorway, listening to every word exchanged, wondering what it was she was hearing exactly.
"Caroline, I was stupid enough to come back to you, thinking that maybe we could have the relationship we had before. But you've lied, cheated, belittled me for not having a quote/unquote real job. I can't have that in my life, I want someone who appreciates everything about me, and tells me the truth about everything, and someone to be honest. You haven't been that woman in a long time, and I was an idiot for thinking you've changed because of a couple of smiles and I love you's." Caroline dropped the cardboard box, things clinking loudly as she glared at him. "Is it because you love her? Is that why you changed your mind?" Jess held her breath, wondering if Nick actually had said something about his feelings. She wondered if something was there between them, the chemistry is there. But she couldn't help but think, does he feel the same way about her as she does about him? "Caroline, that's insane, how can I love Jess? Yeah, I like her and I couldn't have a better friend, but that's not the reason." Jess couldn't bear to hear anything after that, her blood rushed to her head, stinging tears were burning their way from her eyes and down her face. She experienced bad heartbreak before, thanks to Spencer and Paul, but never had she felt this kind of pain as the moment she heard Nick say "How can I love Jess?" At that moment, the need to escape the apartment was too great. She had to leave, right then. She had to get away, she couldn't bear to be near him. Jess practically ripped her pajamas off, barely pulling over a polka dotted shirt and half-way slipping up her black blacks before hearing her door creak open. She didn't bother turning around, she knew who was behind her, eyeing her every movement as she finished dressing herself, now on the hunt for boots.
"Jess, can we talk for a minute? I have to tell you something." Nick's voice was pleading with her, almost in a begging like tone. She had no sympathy for him at the moment. "You don't have to tell me anything, I heard the conversation you and Caroline had." Nick felt a huge hole open in his stomach, it wasn't until this moment that he realized she had cared about him in the way he had dreamed for a long time. Jess didn't have to say anything, he knew which part she heard. "Jess, there's something you have to know.." In a fit of anger, Jess turned around. Nick took in the full extent of the damage he caused by uttering that one phrase to Caroline. He saw red streaks from her tears falling, her eyes grew red and puffy, and her hair still in a tangle from sleep. "No, Nick, I don't have to know anything. You don't love me, that's okay, that's fine. It wasn't like I was hoping for you to admit the same feelings to me that I've had since the first day I moved in here. It happens all the time, one adult falls for another, but the feelings aren't reciprocated by the other person." After fiddling with getting the right boot on the right foot, Jess grabbed the handle of her slightly-oversized, cherry red purse as she attempted to brush past Nick. He gently grabbed her arm, for the first time he truly stared into those once-happy blue eyes that stared sadly back into his. "Jess, please.." Jess shrugged his hand off of her arm, whispering a simple sentence so low that he could barely hear her. "Don't make this worse than you already have, Nick." With the stinging words still hanging in the air, Jess walked backwards a few steps before facing the opposite direction and headed for the front door. Nick was quick to follow behind her, not wanting to leave things the way they are. "Jess, please, we need to talk." Jess opened the front door to leave the loft, but stopped short of the door frame. Nick halted his steps, his face dropping as he stared at the one person he knew was her perfect man with his charmingly good looks, successful business, and the personality that could rival the most interesting man in the world.
"Russell, what're you doing here?" Jess asked, wiping her eyes away quickly as she twisted her hair into a quick bun in an attempt to look half-way decent. Russell stood there in the doorway, navy blue suit with a white button up underneath. The top couple of buttons were undone, a tie hanging loosely around his neck as he stood somewhat straight with a bouquet of orchids wrapped in a purple pastel cloth. "Jess, is this a bad time?" Jess quickly glanced back at Nick, shaking her head in response as she turned back to Russell. "What're you doing here, is everything ok?" Barely letting her finish, the pepper-haired man stepped forward, wrapping his arm behind her as he gently pulled her into the familiar gentle kiss she had grown to love about him. "I want you back, Jess. I want our relationship again."
There was only one thing Nick could think about after hearing Russell's confession for Jess, mentally beating himself up for making possibly the biggest screw up of his life.
Damn it.