A/N: yes, this is a "No Such Luck" story. And a "Lincoln runs away" story. I just wanted to try my hands on 2 of the most overused and cliched story idea's in this fandom.
It's 22:45. My husband is already in bed and I should go to sleep too. I have to be ready for the big day tomorrow after all. Tomorrow is my fiftieth birthday, and although they tried to keep it a secret for me, I know my family has planned a huge celebration that will make us all live up to my maiden name; Loud. For the first time in almost 8 years all my sisters will be in the same place again, and even my parents are coming over from their condo in Florida. They're both in their mid-seventies now, but they insisted on being there to see their oldest daughter turn 50. Along with everyone's husbands and children, we expect close to 45 people.
But there is no sleep for me right now. Not on moments like this. On moments when my mind can only focus on the one person who won't be there. Who hasn't been to any of my birthdays since my 17th. My only brother. Lincoln. So here I am, sitting in my living room holding one of the very few pictures that are left of him. A picture from when Lincoln was 11; the age he had when he vanished from our home and our lives forever.
Lincoln was in many ways unique. First of all, he was the only boy out of the 11 kids in our home. Our scientist sister Lisa even performed an experiment to see if our father had a higher chance of passing on his X chromosome, but this was not the case, so it was just coincidence. Second was his snow white hair; a condition that affected many men on mom's side of the family. Third was his lack of a clear talent. While me and my sisters all had our own skills and won several prizes with them, Lincoln was more a jack of all stats; he could help us with everything we did, but wasn't good enough to win anything. I remember how he would often stare at the family trophy case, but when asked he would always claim he was just happy for us. And we believed him.
It was because of this that Lincoln was pretty much dragged into all of our activities, since he was basically the only member of the family who had time to attend them. It gradually got worse, and in the end the poor boy had barely any time for himself anymore. And it was starting to wear him out. Then, in march 2017, he tried to bail out of having to go to a baseball game of Lynn, but she caught him and threatened him into coming. And that is when things went wrong. Seriously wrong.
It still pains me to think of it. Short version; Lynn lost and, superstitious as she was, blamed it on Lincoln being bad luck. He must have seen an opportunity there to get some free time because he helped to spread the rumor, even going so far as to break one of my golf clubs. To be fair, I still wasn't convinced even after that, but from that moment on I went along with the bad luck acquisition to teach him a lesson. Sadly, the rumor quickly got out of hand and soon we all began to shun Lincoln. First from family activities that he really wanted to attend, then from the dinner table, and finally, from the house itself. We actually forced our brother to sleep outside like a hobo. And worse, we sold pretty much all his belongings, fearing they were tainted with his bad luck.
The following day Lynn had another game, and Lincoln secretly went there dressed in a squirrel mascot costume to prove he wasn't bad luck. Lynn won, and thus Lincoln's plan worked… but again too well. Now all of us, including me, began to think of him as good luck. But only if he wore the suit.
In the 3 weeks that followed Lincoln was treated as nothing more than a good luck charm. We made him wear the costume day in day out, whenever he was in the house. He convinced us nog to let it wear him to school, but that was just about the only good thing (even though it meant we would avoid him in school out of fear for his bad luck). For the rest, he had to come to every single big event me or my sisters participated in again, whether it was Lynn's games, Lola's pageants, Lisa's lectures, etc. Under constant threat that we would kick him out of the house again if he dared to take the suit off. As time went on, Lincoln visibly changed. No longer did he smile, and he grew steadily quieter, only speaking when spoken to. Several times Luna, Leni and Lana voiced their concerns, but we brushed them off. Now I wish that we listened to them then, and hate myself for taking part in it all. We might have been able to prevent what happened at the end of the 3 weeks.
That was when we planned to go on a daytrip to Dairy Land with the whole family. The evening before, Lincoln suddenly showed up in the living room, carrying the suit but not wearing it. Lynn, dad and some of our sisters, including Luan and Lucy, immediately demanded he put the suit back on, but this time Lincoln refused.
"This has gone on long enough. I'm not bad luck or good luck, and you know it" I remember him saying, after which he practically begged if we could stop this nonsense. I recall mom and dad exchange a look, but before they could speak Lynn had leaped forward, pushed Lincoln back towards the stairs, and yelled at him he had two options; either put the suit on, or he wouldn't come with us to Dairy Land tomorrow. Lincoln gritted his teeth and his cheeks turned red, and for a moment I actually feared he would get into a fight with Lynn. But that didn't happen. Instead Lincoln took a deep breath, turned towards us and asked one last time if he could please come without having to wear the suit. When mom reluctantly said no, Lincoln picked up the suit and walked up the stairs with it. Half way, he turned around and spoke only 3 words.
"Have fun tomorrow".
Nothing in his voice indicated anything wrong, but the look in his eyes should have tipped us of. It was the look he always got when he had come up with one of his schemes. Then he went to his room, slamming the door behind him. And for most of us, that was the last time we would ever see Lincoln. Even though we didn't realize it then.
The following morning we left early in the morning for Dairy Land. Lincoln didn't show up for breakfast, and when we tried to call him, we got no response. Lynn brushed it off as that Lincoln was just being a big baby, and he would have cooled off in the evening. So we went to Dairy Land without him.
To say that our day at the park was a disappointment would be an understatement. We got stuck in a massive traffic jam on the way there, and thus came too late to get a good parking spot, meaning we had to walk nearly a mile to get from the car to the park. Once inside it turned out a technical breakdown in one of the electric distribution stations had rendered half the park without power, and naturally all the good attractions got hit by it. For what little attractions did still work, there were exceptionally long waiting lines. And finally, when Lynn tried to win some stuffed toys for the twins at one of the park's shooting gallery's, she failed to hit anything.
"I don't get it. Lincoln isn't even here, how is this happening?" she practically screamed while throwing away the rifle. That was when Luna, also fed up from the whole day, slapped her. "Oh stop it already. Not everything is Lincoln's fault you know'.
That was the start of a huge argument between the two, until mom broke them up. "Cut it out you two. Luna is right Lynn, this isn't Lincolns fault. And I believe he has been punished enough now for his lie.
"I agree mother figure. Besides, I believe I have gathered enough data" Lisa added.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing .All this time mom, dad and Lisa hadn't actually believed Lincoln to be bad or good luck. Mom and dad just wanted to punish him for spreading the bad luck rumor, and Lisa saw the whole thing as an experiment about human emotions and behavior. That got the ball rolling. I admitted that I was just mad at Lincoln for breaking my golf clubs, Luan that she saw the whole bad/good luck thing as a huge prank, Luna that she simply went along with us out of fear of being alienated, and Lana that she loved how cute Lincoln looked in the squirrel suit. Only Lynn, Lucy, Lola, and Leni truly believed in the rumor, and in Leni's case it was forgivable because of her mental state. And Lily of course was just a baby and thus automatically innocent.
We left the park, but instead of going home we spend a long time just sitting in Vanzilla, talking the whole thing over. And it was only then we truly began to realize how poorly we had treated poor Lincoln, and we had gone way too far in comparison to what he had done to us. Moreover, we realized how we had all unknowingly encouraged each other to continue the whole bad/good luck thing; mob mentality, as Lisa put it. One by one Lucy, Lola and Leni began to realize how dumb they had been to believe the bad luck rumor. Only Lynn remained hard to convince. The whole way home she didn't say a word, probably thinking the family had lost it's mind (to be honest, I can't entirely blame her on that one). It was only when wen Lisa showed Lynn a recording of that fateful baseball game on her phone that Lynn realized the truth; that the other team had clearly been practicing to counter her pitches. All this time she had been blinded by her superstition to see it, but presented with the evidence she broke down. When we stopped at a Mcdonalds for dinner, we had to wait in Vanzilla for a while till we were done crying.
No words can describe how we all felt at that moment. One thing was clear, we had to make it up to Lincoln. But when we got home it was already very late, and no lights were on inside. We concluded that Lincoln probably went to sleep already and it would be best to wait till the morning, when we all had had some good sleep. We all went to bed, too tired and too caught up in our thoughts to notice anything off about the house, though Lana remarked it smelled like something had been burning lately. Probably a barbeque from one of the neighbors. But we would soon be proven wrong about that.
The following morning, we all gathered outside Lincoln's room, ready to apologize. Mom knocked and called him, but just like last evening there was no response. When repeated knocking didn't help, we urged her to just open the door….
But none of us were prepared for what we found. Or rather, didn't find.
The room was empty. Completely empty. Not only was Lincoln not there, but the sleeping bag that he had to use since he no longer had a bed, and what little remained of his personal belongings after we sold the majority of it was gone too. It was just a bare walk in closet again. I still clearly remember the shock of seeing what used to be our brothers bedroom in this state, and I wasn't alone. All around me I could hear my sisters gasp in shock. Lola and Lana even began to cry.
Unsure what to do we left the room and went downstairs, all of us in a daze. And all of us wondering if this wasn't some weird dream. Our daze that was broken when Lily suddenly shouted "Poo-Poo" and pointed at the wall. On the wall was the family photo that Lincoln had made along with us for our parent's wedding anniversary earlier that year. The one that showed us the way we were; a chaotic bunch. At first glance nothing seemed wrong, but when we got closer we saw what Lily had noticed; where Lincoln used to be was now a hole shaped like him. Lincoln had used a knife or scissors to carefully cut himself off the picture!
At the same time, Lola noticed the trophy cabinet had likewise been tampered with, namely the section which was reserved for Lincoln's trophies. Not only was the small "most improved brother" trophy we once made for him gone, but so was Lincolns name tag. Instead the section now had a nametag that read "Rita and Lynn Sr", and contained some of dad's cooking prizes.
This, combined with the empty room upstairs, was enough to cause panic. All of us fanatically started to search to house, fearing the worst. And our fears were confirmed:
Luan checked her collection of videotapes. Most were still there, but her entire collection marked 'Lincoln' was gone.
In the attic, Lucy discovered Lincoln's baby book was missing.
In their room, mom found out her uncompleted manuscript for the book about Lincoln that she had been working on was gone. Dad meanwhile discovered Lincoln had accessed the fireproof lock box under the bed and removed his birth certificate.
Lisa checked the computer and the cloud, only to find that Lincoln had removed all photo's that featured him from both.
Me, Leni, Luna and Lynn checked all family photo albums we had. In every one, Lincoln had completely removed pictures that primarily featured him, and cut himself off from pictures that featured him in the background or as part of a group.
In short; any piece of evidence that Lincoln had ever lived in this house was gone.
Lana inspected the backyard, still thinking about that burning smell from the night before. And she found the source. In the center of the backyard was a huge scorch mark and a pile of ash on the grass. And in the ash, looking directly at Lana, were 2 glass eyes. The eyes of the squirrel suit.
Lisa, having heard Lana in the backyard, quickly gathered some of the ash and ran it through her substance analyzer, which confirmed our suspicions. The ash contained remains of the squirrel suit, the photos, the video tapes, and everything else that was gone from the house. And no trace of Lincoln.
At this point many of us were worried sick, with mom close to fainting. That was when our dog, Charles, came running to us from his dog, house carrying something in his mouth. Lana took it from him. It was a notebook, mostly burned up but with some pages still readable. It turned out to be a diary from Lincoln. None of us knew he even had one.
As we read the pages that survived the fire, we suddenly got to see a whole different side of Lincoln. Our happy, carefree brother, the man with a plan, turned out to have been suffering from depression and feelings of insecurity for at least 2 years now. The bad luck incident might have been what finally pushed him over the edge, but it was just the tip of the iceberg overall. As it turned out, being the only boy in the family made him feel like an outcast; a genetic error. He DID suffer from feelings of inadequacy due to his lack of any real trophies. Not to mention, the many times he angered all of us, like when he won that trip in the limo or when he placed that embarrassing video of us online. There was also a page about the day we used the sister fight protocol for the first time, and reading the whole event from Lincolns point of view made us realize how unfair we had treated him because of it. Confiscating his room, forcing him to sleep under dirty laundry, telling him that he solved everything by leaving the house, and most of all us ignoring him for 2 weeks afterwards because he accidently reignited the fight.
Even after all these years, I can still quote the final page:
This is it. I just gave them their last chance to accept me back in the family, and they refused. Guess they indeed finally realized what I myself have known for a long time; that I'm a burden to this family, and they are all better off without me. Well, if I'm going to be evicted from this family, then it better be on my own terms. Tomorrow morning, after they leave for Dairy land, I will put operation 'permanently-erase-myself-from-this-house-and-this-family-and-disappear-forgood-and-also-think-of-a-shorter-name-for-this-operation' into action.
I'm not sure why I'm writing this down, since I'm going to burn this book along with the rest. Force of habit I guess. But it doesn't matter, because after tomorrow, Lincoln Loud no longer exists!.
We searched all day long, but the only thing we found was more evidence about how well Lincoln had planned the whole thing.
Lisa and Luna checked the footage from the security camera's Lisa installed in our house, only to find out that Lincoln had disabled them all by putting duct tape on the lenses. She then tried to use the gps tracker she implanted in each of us, only to find out it was in the trashcan outside, along with a pair of tweezers and some bandages. Finally, she tried to track down his cellphone. She traced the signal to Royal Woods park, but once there we only found the phone itself inside a trashcan. No trace of Lincoln.
The rest of us searched at all places where Lincoln loved to go, and asked anyone we could, but found nothing. Nobody had seen Lincoln the day before. Lola suggested putting up posters, but Lana pointed out this wouldn't be possible without a photograph.
Around noon, I received a phone call from my then boyfriend, Bobby. Normally, we would be on the phone with each other almost every minute of the day, but that day I hadn't called him yet. At first I was excited to hear from him, since I had been doing my best to stay strong for my siblings, but inside I was just as worried about Lincoln as they were, and needed someone to be strong for me. Sadly, my hopes for Bobby providing any comfort were smashed the moment he started talking. His normally so sweet and soothing voice was now cold and distant. He told me he and Ronnie Anne just received a letter from Lincoln, in which he explained the whole situation and why he had run away from home. He called me the worst sister ever, and that he and I were done.
He hung up before I could get a word in, and when I tried to call him back I got no reply. Angered, but most of all hearth broken, I returned home. On my way there I received a text message from Luan that Clyde had just showed up at the house, with a letter from Lincoln. No doubt the same kind of letter Ronnie Anne had received. He just left when I got home. He only gave me a dirty look before walking away, and unlike any other time he saw me, he did not faint or get a nosebleed. Inside the house Luna was sitting on the couch, with that infamous thousand yard stare in her eyes. When I snapped her out of her daze, she told me Clyde had been furious with her, and gave her a scolding she never thought the nerdy boy to be capable of.
That evening, we had all returned home, still no step further to finding Lincoln. By this point mom was near a nervous breakdown, and the rest of us weren't doing much better. I was the one who decided to call our maternal grandfather, Pop-Pop.
He came that same evening. He patiently listened as we told him everything, but afterwards ordered all of us upstairs so he could talk to our parents. Not that it really mattered, since the thin walls of our home made it unable NOT to listen in to the conversation. We all heard how Pop-Pop chewed out our parents for their role in alienating Lincoln from the family. He used words we never heard him use before, and that we would have gotten in great trouble for should mom ever hear us say them. In the end, however, Pop-Pop did agree that finding Lincoln was the highest priority right now. And to do that, we had to get the police involved. We knew the risk; what we did to Lincoln was illegal, and could very well result in some or even all of us going to jail, but we had to take it. Word about Lincoln being gone would reach them eventually anyway.
The next day, Mom, Dad, me and Pop-Pop went to the police station together, while our sisters did their best to repair some of the damage Lincoln had caused, including refurnishing his room with some old furniture we sold at a second hand store. Mom and dat had prepared a story in advance, and Pop-Pop advised us to let him do most of the talking. He also provided the police with a photograph of Lincoln, considering we had none left. It's the same photograph that I have now.
We spend nearly 2 hours at the police station, and afterwards 2 detectives came to our home to look for any evidence about where Lincoln could have gone. Thank god my sisters were done redecorating Lincolns room by then, because an empty bedroom would have been too much to explain.
Based on what we had told him about Lincolns diary (leaving out the Bad Luck incident of course) and how he destroyed all his photographs, the detectives already deduced this would be no ordinary case. Most children when they run away do so in the heat of the moment, and thus have no clue where they want to go and are ill prepared, so they don't get very far. Lincoln clearly prepared himself much better. He might not even be in Royal Woods anymore, or even in Michigan.
We spend the rest of the day answering questions, most of them coming down to things like "didn't you notice your son/brother was feeling depressed" and "why did you leave him alone all by himself for a full day"? It was mainly due to Pop-Pop keeping his calm and being very convincing in his conversations that the police decided not to press the matter any further, and focus on finding Lincoln first. That night, Lincoln's disappearance was featured in the news and an Amber Alert was send out. All we could do now was hope, and pray.
But Lincoln didn't come back. Days became Weeks. Weeks became months. But no trace was ever found.
Although the truth about what we did to Lincoln never got out, people still knew, or at least strongly suspected, we were somehow responsible, and Lincolns friends helped to stimulate those rumors. One by one, our friends at school turned their backs on us. Lynn willingly quit all her sport teams, knowing she would likely get kicked off them anyway. Lola quit her pageantry, and Luan her funny business inc. Mom and dad got off easier, but they too noticed people were starting to keep their distance from them.
2 months after Lincoln disappeared, the Santiago's moved away from Royal Woods to move in with their extended family in the next state. Mrs. Santiago had been planning to make this move for some time now, and after what had happened, neither Bobby nor Ronnie Anne objected.
Summer came around. We tried to continue life as best as we could. There was no vacation for us this year. Who could think of taking a vacation when their only son/brother was missing. It was, without a doubt, the worst summer of our lives. Several times dad would call the police, but every phone call resulted in a disappointment.
Just before the next school year started, the McBrides left Royal Woods. Didn't even come to say goodbye. One day the moving truck just showed up at their house. We haven't seen any of them since. Little did we know then that we ourselves would soon follow.
That fall, just before thanksgiving, our parents decided it would be best for all of us to leave Royal Woods too. There was nothing left for us there. That thanksgiving was the last one we celebrated in our old home. Pop-Pop joined us, and mom even put a plate on the table for Lincoln. That seat, of course, remained empty the entire evening. That night I could hear mom cry in her and dads room.
Mom and dad settled on a house in Elkhart, Indiana. Not that far from Royal Woods, but far enough to give everyone a fresh start. Mom got to work there as a dental assistant again. Dad tried to find a job as a cook, but when that proved impossible he had to settle for his old job as an IT again. I know he hated having to settle for a desk job, but when asked about it he claimed it was probably his punishment for his hand in the bad luck debacle.
That Christmas was the first Christmas without Lincoln in 11 years, and it was likewise the saddest Christmas ever.
2018 came, and still no word from Lincoln. Slowly, my sisters and I started to pick up their lives again. I was in my last year of High School, and would start college after next summer. The original plan was that I would go to the same college as Bobby, but that was out of the question now, so a lot of my time went to finding a suitable alternative.
Luna, Lana, Lisa and Lily did fairly well, with Luna even getting invited into a new band. Lola, Leni and Luan had more trouble. Having quit pageantry, Lola's life became pretty much meaningless. Surprisingly, it was Leni who helped cheer the former princess up. United by their love for dresses and their grief over the loss of Lincoln, the two grew closer together than before.
Luan stopped comedy all together, realizing it wasn't her true calling after all. It was a relief to finally have an April fool's day without pranks. She sold all her props and began to focus entirely on her education. Even puns became rare.
Lucy had it even tougher. We all thought she'd grow out of her goth phase eventually, but the loss of Lincoln and moving away from Royal Woods only drove her further into it. She didn't make any new friends at school, and retreated even more into her shell than before. When none of us seemed to get through to her, mom and dad decided to get her professional help.
But even she was doing better than Lynn. The former athlete became a wreck due to the whole ordeal, and to be honest, we weren't helping things here since we all subconsciously blamed her for Lincoln running away. She quit sports completely, her grades (not the best but never bad either) plummeted, and she fell in with the wrong crowd. Then came the drug abuse. At one moment it got so bad that our parents had violent discussions on pretty much a daily base. It was one of the main reasons I was happy to leave for college after summer 2018. Away from the constant fights and the guilt that still plagued our house, and get a fresh start.
Around Christmas 2018, the situation became bad enough for our parents to send Lynn to rehab. She ended up spending 6 months there.
Life went on, even without Lincoln. Leni finished high school a year after me, with great difficulty, but there would be no college for her. Instead, she got a job at a fashion store. Luna was the next one after me to leave for college, followed a year later by Luan. I myself graduated and got a job as English Teacher in Elkhart. I could have gotten a better job elsewhere, but I wanted to be close to my family. Around the same time something happened I had not considered possible since Bobby broke up with me; I fell in love again. Alexander. I met him on my first day as a teacher. He was the janitor at the school.
Lynn, after coming back from rehab, struggled to get her life back on track. With Lisa's help she eventually managed to make it through high school, after having been held back a year, but it was clear there would be no college for her. Like Leni, she tried to get a job, with little success. She would remain the problem child of the family for years to come.
2024. After 7 years, on the day he would turn 18, Lincoln was declared legally dead, and his case became a cold case. Another big blow to our family. What little hope we had left to see Lincoln again someday was instantly crushed, but we still couldn't bring ourselves to fully give up. Miracles could happen after all. So we still kept the memory of Lincoln alive. Not just for ourselves, but even more for our youngest sister, Lily. She was the only one of us with no memories of Lincoln, considering she was just a baby when he disappeared. We asked all our relatives to send whatever pictures they had left of Lincoln, and shared stories about him with Lily whenever we could.
2 years later, Alexander and I got married. It was another one of those moments that Lincoln's absence was felt. Another 2 years later, our first daughter was born. We have 6 children now; 5 girls and a boy. The Loud House curse strikes again. But before you ask; no, my son doesn't resemble Lincoln at all. And I didn't name him after my lost brother either; it wouldn't bring him back.
Leni managed to open her own fashion store, and Lola joined her when she was old enough. Luna and Luan both finished college. Luna still plays in a band, but purely as a hobby. She's a music teacher now. Luan found a new passion in script writing. Lucy, after long periods of therapy, finally managed to move on from what happened to Lincoln and her part in the ordeal. She even got to college and from there became a journalist and professional blogger. She still dyes her hair black, but otherwise she's out of her goth phase.
Lana kept her love for mechanics throughout her entire childhood, and in high school also showed a latent talent for computers. After college, she got herself a job as a car mechanic, being able to combine both abilities with all those new, self-driving cars that are basically computers on wheels.
Lisa left the house when she turned 16 in order to take a teaching position at Cambridge University. In the end, only 2 of my sisters still lived with mom and dad. Lynn, who kept struggling with her life, and Lily, our youngest sister, who never knew Lincoln consciously, but ultimately turned out to be so much like him. She developed the same love for comics and games that he used to have. I guess Lincolns attempt to shape her into someone like him must have worked after all. If only he were here to enjoy it.
In May of 2034, Pop-Pop passed away at age 91. According to his wishes, he was buried next to his wife on Royal Woods cemetery. Which meant we had to go back to our old hometown again for the funeral. None of us stayed any longer than strictly necessary, fearing what might happen if anyone recognized us there. Fortunately, there were no incidents during our brief stay there. Aside from us, many of his friends from the retirement home and old colleagues from the navy attended his funeral.
In the days following Pop-Pop's funeral, we paid multiple visits to the retirement home to empty his room. I volunteered to help. While I emptied out a drawer of Pop-Pop's desk, I came across a stack of letters, still in their envelope and ordered alphabetically. I shouldn't be too surprised; letters are almost a thing of the past now, but someone like Pop-Pop would naturally still use them. Most of the letters were from Pop-Pop's friends from the Navy, as I recognized the names from the people that attended his funeral. But among them were several letters I could not immediately place. They came from someone with the name of O. Carver, with a return address in Vernon, Canada.
My curiosity got the better of me, and I kept those letters to investigate them further. Somehow, something felt not right here. It turned out Pop-Pop and this Carver person did not start exchanging letters until long after Pop-Pop had already retired from the Navy. I asked several of Pop-Pop's friends. Most of them either didn't know or didn't think it was important, but finally I got some answers; turns out O. Carver was once Otto Sanders, a good friend of Pop-Pop who after his navy days had immigrated to Canada and legally changed his last name due to a massive feud in his family that he and his wife wanted to distance themselves from.
After some more searching, I managed to get an email address and tried to get in touch with this Carver, but all I got was a single email in which he send his condolences to me and my family, and let let know that he had unfortunately been unable to attend Pop-Pop's funeral, hence why we didn't meet. That was the end of it, or so I thought.
Years went by. One by one my sisters got married and had kids, except for Lola. She is still single. Even Lynn found her love. In fact, after meeting her future husband Leo, her life finally took a turn for the better again. He was able to help her get a lasting job at his uncle's sports store, and they moved into an apartment together. Luan got divorced after just 5 years of marriage, but the rest of us are still married to this day.
Of course, this meant a lot of wedding receptions and baby showers, and at each one the topic of Lincoln would come up sooner or later. After all these years, the pain was still there, especially since we still had no clue where he could be, and thus no closure.
Everyone moved to various cities across the United States, and it became rarer and rarer for the whole family to be together. Even on Holidays like thanksgiving and Christmas. Only me, my family and my parents remained in Indiana.
Then, in May of 2042, on the 8th anniversary of Pop-Pop's demise, it happened…
Lisa and I found Lincoln! If only entirely by chance.
Lisa had come home for a couple of days to visit our parents, and together we went to Royal Woods cemetery to visit Pop-Pop's grave. When we arrived, we noticed someone else kneeling at the grave. A man in his late 30's, with auburn hair. As we approached the grave, he got up and left. He walked passed us, our eyes met for maybe 2 seconds. But in that moment I knew it; it was Lincoln. Older, and he no doubt had gotten himself one of those new perma-dye jobs to change his hair color, but it was him.
I was too stunned to say anything at that moment. The man meanwhile left the cemetary and got into one of those self-driving taxi cabs.
After maybe 30 minutes, when Lisa and I were walking back to our car, I told her. She was skeptical, of course, but when I pressed the matter, she decided to look into it on her laptop. It didn't take her long; with all those electronic devices everybody has these days (I thought I was bad in my youth with my phone addiction, but it was nothing compared to this day and age), combined with Lisa's computer skills and her many connections with the government, she learned that the man we just saw was named Luke Carver.
There was that name again, Carver. I urged Lisa to search a little further. And as she typed away on the holographic interface of her laptop, I could see her normally so stoic face slowly became a frown, then a worried look. According to the information she found, Luke had been adopted by the Carvers when he was 11, around the same time Lincoln disappeared.
That was too much coincidence for my liking, and Lisa agreed. But we had to act fast. If the man we saw was indeed Lincoln and he had recognizes us too, he probably wouldn't stay here for long. We quickly got back to our car, while Lisa searched records of all motels in Royal Woods. Finally, she found one with a room registered to Luke Carver.
I can't describe how nervous I was. Good thing cars can drive themselves now because I don't think I would have been able to drive myself at that point. While making our way to the motel, Lisa installed a new face-recognition app on my phone, along with an old photo of Lincoln (the same one I'm looking at right now). It should give us the definitive answer.
It was already getting dark when we arrived. We parked at the far end of the parking lot. Lisa opted to stay behind in the car and keep an eye on things with her laptop, while I would confront Lincoln. We waited for half an hour, then we saw him leave his motel room and walk to his own car.
I took a deep breath, active the recording function on my phone, and walked across the parking lot: "Lincoln!".
His back was turned to me, but I could tell he gasped. "Must have been a long time since someone called you by your real name right?" I asked. "So, are you going to greet your oldest sister?".
He turned around, his mouth still partly open. Enough for me to see the famous chipped front tooth. "Ma'am, you are mistaken. My name is Luke Carver, and I don't know any Lincoln. Nor do I have any sisters, I was an only child".
But the moment he turned around I snapped his picture and pressed the "compare" button of the app. It was a match! I showed him the screen, with both photo's next to each other. "It is you Lincoln, so please drop the act".
"Dang it". He tried to keep his voice low, but I heard it anyway. Then he sighed. "Alright, I may have been Lincoln Loud in the past. But that time is over, so why would it matter?".
"What would it matter!" I tried to stay calm, but it was taking all my self-control to do so. All the emotions I had kept bottled up the past 25 years were about to be unleashed. "Lincoln, you've been gone without a trace for a quarter of a century. And now it turns out you somehow managed to make it to Canada and get adopted by this Carver-family! We all thought you were dead".
He chuckled. "You really think I did that all on my own? No Lori; my grandfather helped me. After I ran away, I contacted him after buying a new phone, and he agreed to help me, since I made it clear I never wanted to go back, and he was… quite angry at his family for doing something like this. So he arranged for the Carvers to take me in and help me get a new identity. And they helped me deal with my depression. Oh, and of course Clyde knew about it. He and I stayed in touch all these years. We actually have our own comic book series now. It's a moderate success in Canada, enough to pay the bills from anyway".
I couldn't believe my ears. All this time Pop-Pop had consoled us, helped us search and appeared to be grieving with us, he had secretly known Lincoln's whereabouts. And kept all of us in the dark. And Clyde knew it too!
"What about Ronnie Anne" I asked.
"She… wasn't in on this" Lincoln admitted. "I considered contacting her again a few times, but I never had the guts. Losing her is the one thing I regret about all this. But I met someone else eventually." He showed me the wedding ring on his right hand. "And I have been keeping an eye on all of you, at least enough to know that you are all doing fine without me. You don't need me anymore Lori. And I don't need you. So, let's just pretend this meeting never happened and each go our own way again".
He spoke in a perfectly calm voice; no sign of relieve to finally see me again, or anger for what had happened in the past. Nothing. And in a way, that was even worse than an outburst. He was about to turn around again when I snapped.
"What do you mean we don't need you! Of course we need you Lincoln. Mom, Dad, our sisters, me…. We're all worried sick about you, even after all these years, and you have no idea how sorry we are for what we did to you. Lily doesn't even know you aside from stories that we tell her! SURE SOMEWHERE, DEEP DOWN, YOU MUST CARE ABOUT US, OR ELSE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE!.
"No" he answered. "I came here for Pop-Pop. He was the last true family I had left. I know you're hoping for me to forgive you, to accept your apology, but it's too late for that. Nor do you have to fear an angry rant from me, because the truth is, Lori….that I don't feel anything towards you guys anymore. No hate, but no love either".
Those words hit me harder than I ever thought possible. In a fit of rage, I grabbed him by the shoulder, just like I tended to do when we were kids, forgetting that he was now bigger and no doubt stronger than me. Lincoln easily pulled himself free, and with such force that I lost balance and fell to the ground, dropping my phone. He picked it up before I could and glared down at me.
"I am no longer the little boy you can just boss around Lori Loud!" he spoke as he raised his hand, as if he prepared to smash my phone. But he never did. Instead, he sighed and handed the phone back to me.
"I guess, if you want to tell your sisters and parents about this, I can't stop you. But I strongly suggest you don't do it, if you want to safe them the disappointment. Face it Lori; Lincoln Loud is dead. There is only me".
That was the last he said. He got into his car, and drove off, leaving me behind. Never to return. I just sat there, on the pavement, until Lisa joined me and helped me get up.
All these years I had tried to stay strong for my sisters, but that moment there was no holding back the tears. So I cried for at least half an hour. For the brother I had finally found, only to immediately lose him again.
That was 8 years ago
After a long discussion, Lisa and I decided to let Luna in on our secret. We showed her the recording I made when confronting Lincoln. Afterwards, all three of us cried together.
We decided that Lincoln was a lost cause, and there would be no point in trying to get him to come back to us. Lisa wasn't too surprised; at this point Lincoln had spent a larger part of his life living without us than with us, and the years away from our family only fed his anger and eventual apathy towards us. Besides, the news about how Pop-Pop had been in the know all along would probably not sit well with the rest of the family. It was better not to taint their image of their grandfather.
The only thing we could do was offer our family some sort of closure. It wasn't easy, but we managed to convince mom, dad and our other sisters that the chances of Lincoln ever being found alive were practically nonexistent, and it would be best to close this dark chapter in our lives forever.
So we organized a symbolical wake for him in our parent's house, just before mom and dad would sell it to move to Florida. It was a private gathering; only me, my sisters, and our parents, but none of our husbands and children. All of us shared our best memories about Lincoln and said our goodbyes. And that was the last time the whole family has been together, till tomorrow that is. Lisa, Luna and I are still the only ones who know the truth about Lincoln, and it's a heavy burden we will have to carry for the rest of our lives, for the sake of our family.
I put the picture back in the drawer I took it from. Hopefully, I'll be to sleep a little. We have to move on, and tomorrow is another day. A happy day.
Farewell Lincoln, or Luke, or whatever name you're using now.
And wherever you are… I hope you are happy.
The End.