Complicated
Suguru looked out of his bedroom window. Outside rain was pouring down, creating puddles in the streets. On mornings like these, he wanted nothing more than to sleep in, take a relaxing bath after he eventually got up and have some cinnamon-tea while watching his favourite show on TV. But no... The clock had barely struck five minutes past the alarm when his aunt came in the door with a half amused look on her face.
"Suguru?"
He grunted and tangled himself further into his covers. "Not here."
She smiled and walked back out of his room. "Fine, I'll tell Tohma that you're not here."
He looked up after her. He had to have to weirdest aunt ever!
Placing his feet firmly on the floor, he started contemplating what to wear for the day. Maybe something... Tight? He grinned wickedly to himself. Tohma hated it when he dressed "slutty".
Mimicking his cousin's cheerful face he quoted;
"Now Su-chan. You wouldn't want people to think bad about you huh?"
Kicking his slippers he scowled at the door. "Like he has any fashion sense at all..."
Odd thing really, even though they were all supposed to pretend that Tohma had nothing to do with him, the older man loved to play mother goose with him. Maybe he did it because his "darling Eiri" had blown him off one time to many. He shrugged at the world's weird logic and pulled on a shirt that seemed two sizes to big for him. Looking into the mirror he smiled sadly at his reflections, sometimes he wished that things could just go back to how they had been...
Tohma would be in N.Y with Eiri-san and he would still have a tutor of his own and not have to worry about deadlines or what-not.
Coming down into the kitchen, he peered around the corner to see if the blonde was anywhere near.
"Coast clear?"
Akija, his aunt, snickered behind her hand and explained that Tohma had been on the phone and not here in the flesh. He accepted this and made a break for the breakfast table.
Munching on some omelette, Suguru wondered out loud if Tohma would come and pick him up at the usual place or not.
"Well, tic-tac, he won't be there if you're not."
He grumbled and made a move to get up from his seat, but Akija pushed him back down.
"Eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and you need the energy."
She ruffled his hair but regretted it as her hand got all sticky from Suguru's hair gel.
"Fine, I'll eat!" He announced and forked down two dishes of omelette and whatever else that were placed on his plate. After taking a minute to let the food sink, he dashed out the door!
xxxx
The dark Mercedes was parked, as always, along the sidewalk of one of Tokyo's busiest shopping streets. To avoid being discovered, Suguru had to wear a pair of dark sun-glasses and a hat that made him look like Dick Tracy. For the umpteenth time he wondered why Tohma insisted to park in such a busy place.
Opening the door on the passenger side, he climbed in and did his best to avoid the blonde's watchful eyes.
"Morning cousin, so how's business?"
Tohma was wearing a blue suit and his usual hat. Today he had chosen purple gloves and an ice-blue shirt.
"As always Suguru, as always. You?"
It was always the same routine every morning. Be polite and ask how the other person had it, compliment on each others clothing. And as per usual, Tohma would put on some make-up on while driving them to the studio.
Cause as he put it; I am the face of N.G-records. I have to look my best even before I enter the make-up-room. He would then smile at Suguru and ask if he didn't want Tohma to put some make-up on him.
He usually brushed it off, because whenever he walked up on stage, Tohma always made it clear to him that he would only look dorky with rouge and mascara... He silently pleaded that whatever medicines that the jerk was on would soon run out and the old Tohma would come back...
Finally the car drove into the underground car park and he could get out and go back outside to make it look like they didn't come in together.
"See you at work then."
He waved back and entered the building.
xxxx
Working at N.G meant that you had to have nerves of steel and you had to be prepared to be possibly shot down... The first thing he noticed as he came in was Shindou Shuichi crying in Nakano Hiroshi's arms. He felt for the singer, but it didn't last long as their manager came crashing in through a wall.
"MORNING!" He waved his shooter and blasted a few bullets around aimlessly.
Dodging, Suguru hoped that Sakano-san was still all right. The man tried to restrain the gaijin, but to no help.
"K-K-san! Please don't-"
Sakano stopped his spluttering and caught the eye of the keyboardist. He always felt so stupid when acting like this, but he had to. It was all in the act...
"Ohayo Sakano-san!" Suguru grinned and walked over to the group.
K finally settled down and had a seat next to Hiro. Oddly, everyone seemed to calm down whenever he arrived, except Shindou... Giving no attention to the sniffling bundle, he rather focused on bringing himself up to date.
"Ne, ne Fujisaki-san. Hope you're ready for the talk show today." Sakano sang, for once, things were going as planned. Having not to deal with Nittle Grasper anymore, he could co-manage Bad Luck with K-san.
Suguru nodded an agreement. "Yup. I just hope that Shindou-san can pull himself together before that..." He looked at Shuichi with a solemn expression on his face.
Getting the hint, Shuichi straightened up and fixed a smile on his face. Giving Suguru a wink he said with sparkling eyes. "Don't you know that crying makes your eyes shine?"
"Yeah... Whatever, listen Shindou-san. I have the notes for the new songs and um... Do you remember that you said that it would be okay with you if either I or Nakano-san made a song on our own?" He scooted closer to the older teen.
Giving Suguru a surprised look, he nodded slowly and asked if Suguru had the text here and now.
"Un. I even wrote the melody and backup vocals." He started digging into his shoulder bag. Pulling out a neat paper file, he presented it to the singer.
"Here, I would like your opinion on it before I do more."
Shuichi pointed at himself. "You want my opinion? Whoa! Cool, lemme see it!"
He grabbed that file and began reading the song. 'Hmm, a little angsty maybe. No, perhaps too relaxed. Doh! I can't decide on his work...' He handed it back with a sad expression.
"Gomen Fujisaki-san, but I don't think I should grade your song. After all it comes from your heart and it's personal." He smiled a little.
"But-" Suguru didn't come longer as another voice emitted from behind him.
"But then again Shindou-san. You're still too soft in your judging..."
They all looked up past Suguru and Shuichi and spotted Tohma. Something about him warned them from commenting.
"Fujisaki-san, let me 'grade' it for you." He smile a sugar sweet smile and received the paper file. Skimming through it, he took his time reviewing the melody and the harmony between text and music.
Sakano looked at him with dread in his heart. He looked up to the man but he hated the way Tohma treated Suguru now-a-days. "Shacho, I don't think that you need to-"
Tohma just waved a hand to silence the younger man, never taking his eyes of the sheet of paper.
After a long tense silence, he looked up from the song. Sakano could see the two options that Tohma was struggling between; the first was to compliment Suguru on a great text, the other was to strike him down and say that he didn't have talent enough to try and do songs on his own. Something that would stop the teen from doing more songs and gaining popularity and maybe one day break away from Bad Luck.
"Trash. Give it up Fujisaki-san. You have no talent." He marched off with the file still in his hand.
Suguru was stunned. Why did Tohma always tell him something like that! Thinking back on the years were he had grown up under Tohma's supervision, he had always gotten good compliments on how good he was at things and how quick a learner he was. Encouraged by all this he had even taught himself to play other instruments than the keyboard. He had learnt how to compose and to write songs. Tohma had always said that he could have a shining future writing music... He had even named the song that Tohma just trashed; Starlit Sky.
He looked down at his hands. His idol had just struck him with a mortal blow.
'Trash.'
'You have no talent.'
'Give it up.'
The others could just watch him sit there, all silent. Tears threaten to burst from his brown eyes. His slender shoulders shook and that's when the silence was broken. Getting up, Hiroshi walked after the president while Shuichi tried to comfort the teenager. Seeing that Hiroshi would only get himself into trouble; Sakano stumbled after him.
"Nakano-san, please stop! Nothing good will come of this if you confront him."
He swirled in front of the guitarist and stopped his progress. Hiro just stared at him, then down at the hand that stopped him. He had always hated violence, but seeing someone get physically or mentally hurt enraged him.
"Don't stop me."
The other man swallowed. "I can't let you pass... I can't let you talk to him in your current state."
He was shoved hard into the opposite wall.
"Can't! Do you hear that?" Hiro tilted his head and they could hear Shuichi's comforting words.
"Well maybe you don't, but I know that Fujisaki is crushed and that man could at least have broken it to him easier."
"You don't know why the Shacho does what he does-"
"And you do! You're just a lapdog who drools after him and jumps at his command! You don't know Fujisaki OR Seguchi!"
That hurt. Sakano bowed his head and moved to block the way to the elevator again.
"I can't let you pass... I'm sorry..." He refused to look Hiro in the eye but stood his ground.
The guitarist just threw his hands up and stalked off.
Meanwhile inside the elevator, Tohma was making a mental note to apologize to his cousin, along with sending Sakano-san to pick up his new tailor-made gloves.
xxxx
Suguru seemed useless in the studio that day. He kept hitting the wrong keys and his back up singing sounded false. After half an hour, K marched up to him and told him to take the rest of the day of to reflect on things. After he had left the studio, Shuichi pulled up his cell phone.
"Yuki! What's biting Seguchi-san's ass today? Did you yell at him again?"
Yuki stared at the receiver. What the hell had gotten into his lover this time?
"Cause if you have, you're the reason Fujisaki-san is useless right now!"
He felt his left eye twitch. "And how is this connected?" He muttered into his cell phone. And so followed a long series of ranting from the pink-haired boy.
"I get it, I get it!" He slammed the phone down causing it to break.
"Woops..." He smiled at the silence and went back to his love stories.
Staring at his own phone Shuichi felt tears fall down his cheeks. One day of these days... He thought. One of these days, he would show Yuki not to mess with him like this...
Hiroshi blinked and sighed. "Come here Shu-."
"No."
He looked perplexed at his best friend. "What? Are you all right?"
Shuichi flashes a crazy grin at him. "Never been better! Now I'm in the perfect mood to record this song!" And so he grabbed the mic and almost tore his heart out as he just felt emotions tumble out of his mouth. Hard beats created by his own voice.
-x-x-
"Untouchable, you seem so untouchable!
Emotionless; cold and hard.
I won't stand for this,
Never more will you have my all!
Evidently, I cried for you,
For so long.
Evidently, you reached for me.
Your smile could always make me
Crumble and fall!
Nevermore, I tell you!
I won't stand for this,
I'm untouchable,
Touch me and
Crumble and fall!"
-x-x-
His voice suddenly softened and it became like the pure opposite or the harsh voice that he had just used.
-x-x-
"But if you will
I can forgive...
Feel as you will
My love, my eternal grace..."
-x-x-
His eyes flashed dangerously and his voice fell like a rock on water.
-x-x-
"Nah!
For now I have news for you.
I don't need you anymore!
The trust that I gave you,
You miss-used it.
Miss-used our love..."
-x-x-
His voice softened as he let the tone fade and he leaned his head forward to rest...
K was astounded. He had never expected Shuichi to use the tough love that Yuki gave him for lyrics. He mostly imagined that the singer cried alone in a wardrobe or something until the blonde wanted to use his play toy again...
"One word for this; wow..."
Shuichi grinned at him. "It's not that good. But all we need now is Fujisaki to mix it and we'll be all set." He stepped out of the record booth and grabbed a bottle of mineral water.
"So Hiro, think you can make some tunes to that?" He gulped down some liquid and turned to the stunned musician.
Nodding slowly, as if trying to understand the text, Hiro just kept on staring at his friend. For once, not eve he could understand Shuichi's weird thoughts…
"Um, what was that?" He arched an eyebrow.
"A tribute to my love that I actually hope that he hears…" Shuchi dumped down into a chair with his water and glared out the window.
xxxx
Passing time outside wasn't something he did very often, but as he left the sweet caress of the wind on his face, Suguru wished that he had been outside more often the last couple of years. Everywhere people were having fun with the autumn breeze, playing with kites or just enjoying the scenery with a loved one.
But Suguru had no loved one, not anymore he did…
Because Tohma had forced that person away, now Suguru had to look at that person every day and feel the sting whenever Tohma flashed a smile at that person.
Pulling his jacket better around himself, he started walking towards a canal.
The water was calm and he decided to try and rewrite the text on his songs.
Not that it would help… he sighed heavily and leaned back on the grass.
"Troubled?"
He sprang up from his seat. Right behind him sat a young man, perched up against a tree trunk. He seemed to have blond-brown hair and a cap was pulled down into his eyes preventing Suguru from seeing his face.
"Um… Hello?" He got up and approached the man. "Were you—"
The man tilted his cap up out of his face, only to reveal milky white eyes."
"No, I don't think I could have followed you."
"I didn't say—"
"But you were thinking it, eh? Fujisaki Suguru?" The man got clumsily to his feet.