"That wasn't funny, Spongebob, ya'll had me worried sick!"
Larry felt hopeless. He had been trying to impress Sandy all day. She didn't notice, but the surfing tricks, the weightlifting, the volleyball...it was all for her.
All Larry wanted was to show her how strong he was, how popular he was. He was the most popular guy at Goo Lagoon. All he had to do was lift a dumbbell and he drew an admiring crowd.
Spongebob wasn't strong or popular. All he had in his repertoire was ripping his pants, and that was getting old very quickly. Pretending to drown just to get attention? That was a cheap trick. Sandy was mad, but she had been "worried sick" about him.
Larry knew that if it was him drowning out there, Sandy wouldn't have been quite as worried.
Sandy and Larry sat on a blanket, watching the fish glide by on surfboards. Spongebob had dashed into a changing tent after the drowning incident. Sandy stared out at the horizon, with a troubled expression on her face.
"Hey, you okay Sandy?" Larry asked.
"I'm fine, Larry!" she said, trying to sound cheerful.
Larry sighed. "Sandy, I know you're not."
"Aw, shucks. I'm just worried is all. Spongebob's been acting stranger than a sheep in henhouse."
"You should forget about him. He's just trying to impress you." He draped a claw around her furry shoulder. Her helmet reflected the afternoon sun.
"I can't just forget it, Larry." she said in her soft southern drawl.
Sandy cared a lot about Spongebob. Even if she didn't love him, she cared. Larry realized that he would never be as important to her as Spongebob was. He had known it all along, but kept denying it. Of course she likes me! Everyone does!
Spongebob made Sandy laugh. He made her happy. Larry could lift the heaviest dumbbells in the world but it wouldn't be able to make her happy. Larry had the attention and adoration of every surfer, weightlifter and lifeguard in Bikini Bottom, plus dozens of others who were popular, or had popular friends. The only person he couldn't impress was this gorgeous southern belle sitting next to him.
Larry put on his sunglasses and sighed. He had never been this disappointed in his life.
Later...
Sandy climbed onstage and hugged Spongebob in front of the cheering crowd. He had finished his song, exposing what Larry knew to be the truth- that all the sponge wanted was attention. Strumming his sand guitar, the lyrics had revealed it all.
Larry looked at Spongebob and Sandy. They seemed happy, as if everything had been resolved. Larry felt strange. Confused. Still jealous, but somewhere in his heart, he actually respected the little guy.
He walked nervously toward the short yellow sponge. "Spongebob, what you did was so righteous...will you sing my pants?"
As Spongebob bent down, a ripping sound emitted from his underwear. It had happened again.
That sound would stay in Larry's memory for the rest of his life. Every time he heard something even remotely similar, the disappointment would come rushing back, bring memories of the waves, the salty air, and the beautiful squirrel who was so far out of his reach.