Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender belongs to Bryan Konietzko, Michael Dante DiMartino, and Nickelodeon, not me.
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Toph buried her face in her hands. She bit her lip. This is not going to happen to me, she thought fiercely. I am Toph Bei Fong. This is not happening.
But it was.
Toph Bei Fong is a rock! Toph Bei Fong does not cry!
But she was.
Toph Bei Fong does not cry over boys! Toph Bei Fong does not care!
But she did.
Toph rubbed her eyes, hoping she could forcibly shove her tears back inside her head.
It didn't work.
Her lips trembled. With shaking fingers, she yanked the jade and tortoiseshell combs out of her hair. It fell over her shoulders in a long tumbling mass. Toph wound her hands through the strands. It was a compulsion she had since childhood. When she was little, she had overheard her mother's maid comment to another servant that "the little miss was a such a plain little thing, but at least her hair was lovely." Toph didn't know what qualified as "lovely" hair, but she at least knew that her hair was long and silky and thick and could hang around her like a protective curtain. Many times she fell asleep tangling her hair in twists and braids. Some children had a security blanket, but Toph had her hair.
Toph smoothed her long locks over her shoulder. It brushed against her bare shoulders in a familiar, comforting tickle. She rubbed her hands over the embroidered silk of her dress. It was strange to wear a fancy gown again. As a child she hated them; instead pulling on the comfortable cotton hakama her nursemaid made for her out of her parents' sight. But now she discovered she almost missed the feeling of the silky cloth against her skin.
Toph sighed, slumping forward on her knees. The grass was cool against her thin bare legs, and the latesummer breeze surrounded her with the smells of rare flowers. Beneath her feet she felt the vibrations of thousands of dancers, and she could hear the laughter and music of the guests. It was quite an honor to be invited to the coronation of Fire Lord Iroh, but honor was no fun if no one ever asked you to dance.
No, I take that back. Plenty of nervous Fire Nation boys and awkward Earth Kingdom boys had asked her to dance. But she didn't want any of them.
Toph squinched her eyes closed, but it wasn't any use. The tears spilled over her hot cheeks, making her makeup run and her face heat. She twisted her hands around her hair.
--
Zuko strolled through the garden. It was quiet and peaceful, a welcome rest from the roar of the party. He smiled in spite of himself. He knew he should mourn the passing of his father and his sister, but there were no regrets. Besides, Iroh belonged on the throne anyway. And now he was home, honored and respected by the court, loved by his people. Nothing could possibly ruin this night.
Except for the tiny sniffle.
He stopped, panicking. The care and management of a girl was not his forte. Most likely it was some courtier pouting over a girl wearing the same gown, or her lover's lack of attention. He gulped, hoping it wasn't Katara. Zuko started to slink away, but he caught sight of the girl kneeling beside the pond where he and his mother had once fed turtleducks.
"Toph?" he said.
She leaped to her feet, wobbling on the shoreline. "I just wanted to go for a walk," she gulped. Her long black hair hung around her face, her cheeks were pink, her pale eyes were red-rimmed, and there were water spots on her dress.
Zuko smiled wryly to himself. "Come walk with me, then," he said. He took her by the hand. Toph kept her sightless eyes trained on the ground as she trailed behind him. Zuko rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. "Enjoying the party?"
She nodded.
"Have you danced with anyone yet?"
She shook her head.
"Do you want to dance with me?"
She shook her head again.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
She kept her eyes glued to the ground. "There's nothing wrong," she said in a low voice.
"All right, then," Zuko said serenely. He held her hand lightly, feeling the tension in her strong little fingers. "You look very pretty tonight."
Her pointed chin trembled.
"There were several boys who couldn't take their eyes off you."
Her lips shook.
"Except for Sokka. He seemed distracted."
Two big tears rolled down her cheeks.
Zuko stopped and tilted her chin up. Her foggy eyes welled. "That's what's bothering you, isn't it?" he said gently.
"Yes!" Toph burst out. She buried her face in her hands.
Zuko tugged her over to a bench and sat down. "All right, all right," he said. "Tell your big brother all about it." He lifted her onto his lap. "It's what I'm here for. Do you want me to go beat him up?"
Toph shook her head and buried her face in his shoulder. "I…I just wanted him to…to…like me!" she wailed. "But…but…I'm not pretty…and…and I'm not girly…and…and…he doesn't notice me at al-ll!"
Zuko patted her back. He had never seen her cry like this before. She'd always been a tough little cuss, yapping at people and mouthing off and generally being a tiny tyrant. Then again, the war was over, this wasn't another exhausted camp out, and for this first time in months she was clean and dressed up and trying to act the way she thought a thirteen-year-old girl should. Zuko stroked her dark hair, trying to think of something that would comfort her first broken heart.
"Boys are stupid," he finally said.
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"Momo!" Sokka yelped. "Momo, you get your fuzzy-tailed little behind back here!"
The lemur yipped and swung out of the noisy ballroom and out into the garden. Sokka groaned and chased him down. His unfamiliar dress clothes were a bit cumbersome to run in- although he did feel rather dashing. Several Earth Kingdom girls and more than a few Fire Nation maidens had swept him sweet glances under their lashes and behind their fans. The attention was disarming and distracting.
Momo skipped lightly ahead of him. "Momo!" Sokka hissed. "Momo!" The lemur waved his tail mockingly.
The murmur of voices startled him. Sokka ducked behind a copse of tall river lilies and peered around them. Zuko sat on a white stone bench, his face caught in the gentle expression he only used when talking to Toph.
Sure enough, Toph perched on his knees, her cheek resting on his shoulder. Sokka scowled. The two of them had become close over the last few months since Zuko joined them. After he burned her, Zuko was determined to make it up to her, and they ended up falling into an easy camaraderie as a protective big brother and an adoring little sister.
Sokka realized he was scowling, and wondered why. He was glad Zuko and Toph had each other. He himself enjoyed having a younger sister. But for some reason, he scowled anyway.
Sokka leaned farther around the lilies. Toph leaned against Zuko, her porcelain face flushed pink and rosy. She had such a sweet face for such a snarky little girl, with her round cheeks and softly pointed chin, even though it was streaked with running maekup. Her glossy black hair tumbled around her white shoulders, hanging in long, silky, curling tendrils to her small waist. Sokka stared. Her fancy gown clung to her tiny body, baring her slim arms and showing off her dainty waist and her delicate…
Sokka flushed to his ears. I can't do this, she's just a baby! he scolded himself.
But she turned thirteen a few months ago, his subconscious reminded him. A difference of three-odd years…that's not so bad, is it?
"Yes," he mumbled out loud. Zuko and Toph glanced towards the copse of lilies. Sokka ducked, waiting to hear their conversation resume before he looked back.
Zuko tilted his head towards Toph's. She stared right at Sokka, which, even though he remembered she was blind, was still disconcerting. Toph twined a thick silky lock of hair around her finger. Sokka stared at her. The tiny finger, the gleam of her hair, her wide-open eyes with thick jet-black lashes, the innocent pursing of her lips. It was distracting. So distracting, in fact, that he lost his balance and tumbled forward, bringing a lily stalk with him.
Toph and Zuko both jumped in surprise. "Hey, guys," Sokka said sheepishly.
"Spying, are we?" Zuko said, arching an eyebrow.
"No, just, just…" Sokka's eyes traveled across the garden and lit on a ball of white fluff frolicking in a magnolia tree. "Looking for Momo. Oh, look. There he is." Maybe it was just his imagination, or Toph was trying to ignore him.
"Well, if you've found him…good job with that," Toph said. "See you later. Figuratively speaking, of course."
Sokka frowned. Toph did seem like she was trying to ignore him. Her pale eyes, usually still and serene, darted about, as if she was trying to pinpoint where he was so she turn her head in the opposite direction. "Yeah," he said.
"Well, since you've found him…I guess you can go back to the party," Toph said, tapping her finger against her lip.
Sokka realized he was staring again. There was something sweet and attractive about her. Maybe it was the finger in her mouth, like a curious little child, or the rosy blush on her high cheekbones, or the slow brush of her thick eyelashes on those rare occasions she blinked.
Zuko cleared his throat. "I think my uncle needs me," he said. He started to stand up.
"I'll go with you," Toph said, scrambling to her feet.
Zuko sat back down. He shot a look over Toph's head at Sokka. Sokka blinked. Zuko looked from Toph to him and back to Toph. "Uh…" Sokka stammered.
Zuko glared. TAKE A WALK, he mouthed.
"Take walk?" Sokka repeated, confused.
"What?" asked Toph.
Zuko's eyes narrowed. He jerked his head in Toph's direction so violently Sokka thought his ponytail was going to snap off.
"Toph, do you want to take a walk with me?" Sokka stammered.
Toph turned in his direction. "All right," she said in a small voice.
Zuko set Toph on her feet and stood up. He walked past Sokka. "Make her cry again, and I'll kill you," he muttered. Zuko smacked him on the shoulder and strolled back to the ballroom.
Cry again? Sokka thought. He looked sharply at Toph. Red rimmed eyes, flushed cheeks, avoidance…you would think that sixteen years of living with Katara would teach me something about girls.
"So…you want to walk?" Sokka asked. Toph nodded. She smoothed her skirt, and Sokka caught sight of her tiny feet in satin slippers. "Can you walk in those shoes?"
"Walk, yes," Toph said. "See, no." She sighed heavily, rubbing the toe of one shoe against a flat marble pathstone.
"Well, my lady," Sokka said grandly. He held out his arm before he remembered that she couldn't see it. He took her small hand and tucked her arm into his. "Shall we walk?"
"I guess," she said. But she smiled brightly.
Sokka had walked with plenty of girls before. Yue had glided, smoothly and effortlessly. Suki strode with purpose, her strides step-for-step with his. But Toph was so small. She took two to three steps for each of his, holding on tightly to his sleeve. Sokka slowed down. "Are you having fun?" he asked, trying to break the silence.
"I suppose," she said.
They walked in silence a little farther. "Did you try the food? These Fire Nation people sure know how to cook."
"It was nice."
More steps in silence. "Are you glad to be done traveling?"
"Yes," she said. "No. Maybe. Well, I don't know yet."
"What makes you not sure?" Sokka asked.
Toph looked in the opposite direction. "I don't know if I'm ready to go home," she said in a small voice. "I mean…I want to see my parents, but I don't want to go back to being a porcelain little princess again."
Sokka looked down at her. The moonlight gleamed on her dark silky hair. "You are a porcelain little princess," he blurted out.
Toph stopped dead in her tracks. "What?" she demanded. "What do you mean by that?"
"Wait, that wasn't what I meant," he hurried. He glanced around, then dragged to her to a bench. Toph glowered. Sokka made her sit down.
"I knew it," she mumbled. "You think I'm just as useless as everybody else does."
"No, it's not like that," Sokka said.
"Oh, so you think all I'm good for is beating up all your big bad guys," Toph said.
"What has gotten into you?" Sokka burst out.
She ducked her head and looked over her shoulder. Sokka scowled. Toph was never like this. "Nothing," she muttered.
Sokka knelt down in front of her. "Look," he said. "I know you're tough. I mean, seriously. Everyone knows that. But Toph, you're so…so…"
"So what?" she snapped.
He looked up. Her face was flushed, and her eyes had that strange glimmer that could only mean she was about to cry. Sokka impulsively grabbed her hands. "Toph, you are small," he said. "You're both, you know? You're tough and you're tiny. And I understand why your parents want so bad to protect you.'
"Why?" she mumbled.
Sokka stifled the images that ran into his head- Katara falling, Aang bleeding, Yue lying pale and still in his arms. "Because they love you," he said. "And like it or not, greatest earthbender ever or not, you're still a little girl."
Her lips trembled. "Fine," she said. "I'm just a little girl."
"No, Toph, I…" Sokka huffed. "None of this is coming out right."
"I know what you're trying to say," she said dully. "You think I'm just a little girl."
Sokka was confused by the look on her face. She seemed sad, and angry, and longing, and disappointed, all at once. "Toph, you don't understand," he said. "I can't lose you." Her head jerked up. "I mean, we can't lose you. Your parents can't…"
As he stared into her wide-eyed face, the pieces began to fall into place.
No. No, this can't be it. I mean…she hasn't…I haven't…I've never…she's just a baby…
But as he studied her face, he realized what had been thinking all along, whether or not he knew it or liked it. Sokka reached up and cupped her face in his hands. "I can't lose you," he repeated finally.
Her small hands wrapped around his elbows. "I think I'll be okay," she whispered. Toph touched her forehead against his.
Sokka leaned up. He could feel her soft warm breath against his cheek. Gently he brushed his lips against hers.
Toph murmured in surprise. Her eyes closed of their own accord, and she leaned closer to him. Sokka deepened the kiss. Her arms twined around his neck; her small body was soft and vulnerable.
Sokka pulled away gently. She smiled, then hurtled forward, flinging her arms around his neck. "Oof!" Sokka grunted, flopping backwards. Toph pinned him to the ground, laughing. Her long beautiful hair draped over her shoulders and brushed against his cheek. He grinned. "I guess you have me."
"I've had you for forever," Toph said. "You just didn't know it."
Sokka lunged for her, flipping the small girl and making her yelp. "Yeah, well, it takes me a while," he said. Toph laughed, her small pale hands curled against her shoulders.
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Author's Notes:
This ends awkwardly. I don't know why.
Sokka is so unknowing. Bless his everlovin' heart.
(By the way, if you're a southerner, you can get away with saying awful things as long as you say "bless his/her heart." For instance: "Azula's such a murderous little monster, bless her heart." See?)
I love writing Girly!Toph. I mean, she's getting to that age when hormones hit and girls start to grow up. And the gang had to have celebrated a birthday or two while they're on the road. So Toph turning thirteen before the war's end makes sense, at least to me.