Chapter 1- "I've Changed"
I heard my alarm clock ringing again, blarring like the school fire alarm. And I didn't even need another thing to be bothered with, my mother was was right infront of me trying to make me get up for school again. I honestly didn't want to go to school and face Jamie. I wondered how I could make our relationship work- but after the whole Natalie and Belinda situation. I thought there wasn't any hope left. There was no use in getting through Jamie Sullivan.
"Come on sleepy head. Wake up! Time for school." My mother said, as she shook me trying to wake me up.
"I don't want to."
"Come on, Landon. I've made waffles, your favorite." My mother said trying to bribe me to get out of bed.
I dragged myself downstairs. Trying not to seem like there was something wrong with me and Jamie's weird friendship relationship. But having my mother's intuition on radar, I knew that she knew something was up. I tried to eat some of my waffles, but I was just not hungry. So I was just moving my fork around in the maple syrup on my plate. Trying not to look my mother in the eye.
"Landon, what's wrong. Aren't you hungry?" My mother said in a comforting voice. She always knew when something was up with me. I guess it's a mother thing.
I didn't know she was talking to me, because I was thinking about Jamie so much. My mom said my name again.
"Landon- Landon what's wrong?"
"Nothing." I said as I sighed. Trying not to again, give away what was going on with me and Jamie. Also trying not to get my mother involved in my personal life.
"I know something's wrong since you sighed. Why can't you tell me what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything right?"
"Alright fine. It's Jamie, she's being so stuburn around me. And it's driving me crazy that I can't get through to her that I love her."
"You love her? Aren't you kind of young to know what love is?" My mother questioned me.
"No I'm not! You were young once too. Didn't you ever feel being inlove with someone?"
"Yes I did, but-"
"But nothing, I'm in love with her and she doesn't even care. And your no help either. I'm going to school, even though I don't feel like going anyways."
I left in my car, and slammed on the gas pedel hard, and made a fast exit out of my driveway. I knew Jamie saw me with Natalie, a new girl in school. But I never did anything with her, and I will never do anything with her. I just needed to get through to Jamie that she was the one I loved now. Not anyone before. I got to school and I saw Belinda and my other "used-to-be friends" in a group laughing as I walked through the halls. And I didn't even know why I was friends with them anymore. They became jerks over night. And then I saw her. Jamie, the only one for me now.
I tried to connect with Jamie even more than before. But she just wasn't having it. I knew it would be hard to try to get her to like me because she was the Reverend's daughter; and because I was known around school as the "popular tough guy". But even though Jamie wasn't going to try to connect with me at all, I thought I could try to make the first move again. This is our senior year, and I was going to get into medical school. I wasn't the same person with her, I wasn't the tough guy anymore. I've changed into a completely different person when I was with her. I saw Jamie in the cafeteria and I just had to talk to her.
"Hey Jamie." I smiled at her as I went to her table.
Jamie gave me a rude look back.
"Come on Jamie, I'm trying here. Please talk to me."
"Fine, what do you want?" She said with a glare in her eye, as she drank some more of her orange juice.
"We have to talk about this, we can't just keep ignoring this thing with us."
"What about Belinda? Aren't you still together with her? And won't people notice your talking to me?" Jamie said still with a piercing glare.
"So what, your scared of ruining your reputation now?"
"Wow, Carter this is the first time I've actually seen you being normal. Well actually you never were normal. So why are you being normal now all of a sudden?"
Jamie started to walk out of the cafeteria in a hurry and I tried to catch up to her. But she ran out of the school doors before I could even catch up to her. I tried to yell her name out to her before she got into her small, green car.
"Jamie! Jamie! Jamie wait!"
"What do you want Landon. I told you the rule, don't you remember." Jamie yelled back.
"What for me not to fall in love with you? This is what's going on with us. Can't you see that? I've tried not to fall in love with you, and you tried not to fall in love with me too. But we both know that we're both in love with each other. But I think your scared."
"Me scared? Yeah right what do you think I'm scared of Landon?" Jamie said with a slight sarcastic giggle.
"What do I think your scared of? I think your scared that you being in love with me that our love will fail. I think your scared that once your together with me that you won't be able to hide behind your reading or studying for college. I think your scared that your father won't approve, I think your scared of failing. That's what I think. But I know that our love will not fail, I promise you that."
Jamie looked as if she was about to cry, because her eyes were watering a bit. But she was holding back the tears, or trying to anyways. We had to figure our love situation out before the play, before prom, and before we both go to the same medical school; before we went on our roadtrip to try and concor her list. Before everything happened. I knew our love could work, but why couldn't she see that? I knew she was just a stuburn person, but I didn't know she would be this stuburn about everything. I knew she saw me hanging out with Natalie, a new girl at school. But I never did anything with her. But she wasn't believing me about anything. I just hoped I could get through to her somehow.
As I told her what I thought about what was going on with us, She ran to her car, and rolled up the window on the driver's side. I tried to catch her again, but she turned the motor on the car. So I ran faster, and I finally cought up with her. And I banged on the window.
"Jamie please! Wait!"
"I saw you with Natalie, and Belinda, and every other girl you've flirted with at school. So why are you even bothering to talk to me?"
"Because I love you Jamie and you love me too. And we both know that. And I'm not doing anything with Belinda or Natalie anymore!"
"This just isn't going to work anymore Landon." Jamie said, as she was almost about to cry again, with a single tear droplet falling on her fair skinned cheek.
"So what, you want me to say the whole I'ts not me it's you speel? Because I'm not going to do that. Because that's not what's going on. Why are you being so stuburn with me."
"Because I just am."
She stepped on her gas pedel, and she drove off. I tried my hardest to get through to her, but it was impossible. I don't know why she's been ovoiding me all this time. It's been making me want her more. And that's no help. Maybe if I help her concor things from her list, she'll be less stuburn towards me and more loving. It's worth a shot anyways, I just hope we can work things out before the opening night of the play on Friday. But maybe if I make her jelous with Natalie or Belinda. I noticed there was a crowed near the enterence of the school, just staring at me and Jamie. Well Jamie driving away. I didn't notice this as I yelled.
"DAMN IT!"
I turned around, at the teachers and they all had a shocked look on there faces. I gave a slight embarassing smile to the teachers and studetns that showed up after Jamie left.
I went reluctantly back inside, because I had to clean the floors in the science club room with all the nerds. Yeah. But then Eric, my best friend saw me walking back into school and ran up to me.
"Hey man, how's you and Jamie?" Eric said excitidly.
"How do you think it's going? She doesn't even know or care, that I care about her."
"Well maybe you should show her, that you want her to care." Eric said with a big smile, he was grinning from ear to ear practically.
"I've tried, but she just doesn't care about us anymore. And we need to get our chemestry back before Friday and I don't know how that's going to happen."
We both walked into the science club, looking like complete morans because everyone in there knew we didn't care about science what so ever. And they just staired at us like we were idiots. I got my mop and bucket of water to clean the floor with and started cleaning but still having the conversation with Eric.
"Well good luck with that." Eric said sarcastically.
"Yeah, thanks a lot for the help Eric." I said sarcastically back.
"Oh by the way, all of us including Belinda, Natalie and Clay are going out tonight at the diner. Do you want to come?"
"What the hell, why not."
"Good. So I'll see you later than ok?"
"Yup."
"See ya." Eric said as he went out of the building.
I was almost done with cleaning up, but then this nerd who I didn't even know came up to me with something to say. He looked kind of off for some reason, like he had something on his mind. He was stairing at me like he wanted to come over and talk to me but was scared to.
"What?" I said in a questioned voice.
"Ok, you might not want to here this from me. But the reason why Jamie's been so distant is because she has something she can't tell you, but wants to tell you. I've been best friends with her since teh sixth grade. And have been the only friend she's ever had, and the only one she's ever told this too. And I can't even tell you, but she will tell you soon alright? She just has a lot on her plate right now ok?" The nerd said.
"Ok, like what? She's sick or something, or she's dating someone else? Well actually I don't even know if that'd be possible because she's never dated anyone else but me. So she's sick or something?"
The nerd gave me look where he lifted his left eyebrow and gave slight smile, like that's what he's been trying to say. I thought to myself, so that's why she's been acting so weird recently. And he noded in a yes motion.
"So just be kind to her please. That's all I ask, take care of her no matter what you do."
"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."
"You better." The nerd said, as he left the science club.
I finally finished mopping the whole science club, in the multi purpose room. And decided to leave for dinner tonight with Eric and my old friends. I haven't seen them since I started to date Jamie. They just ditched me after I started to date her for no reason. But will see how interesting this night gets.
I drove home in my car, and got into my room. I changed into a black t-shirt and dark denim jeans. I could hear my mother down stairs making dinner. I wanted to try to learn some lines before I went out to dinner so I read the play for a bit. After about hour of trying to learn my lines. It was no use I needed Jamie's help with this.
"Landon! Time for dinner! Come down please!" I ran down stare's and noticed my mother made dinner for the both of us, and I had to tell her that I was going out tonight.
"Hi mom."
"Hi sweetie." My mother replied.
"Uh- mom. I'm not going to stay here for dinner tonight."
"Oh really? Where are you going then?"
"Out with friends."
After I left the house for the diner. I noticed Belinda and Natalie looking really hot and gorgous. Even though I didn't know what my relationship status was with Jamie. I couldn't help myself but flirt a little with Belinda and Natalie. I was looking in the resturante window, as I got out of the car. Belinda noticed me and she waved. I smiled back at her. I walked into the diner, and sat down in between Natalie and Belinda. Belinda put her hand on my thigh, and rubbed it a little with her fingers. I looked at her with a "what are you doing" type face. Even though I wanted to flirt back, I knew Jamie would end up hating me even more. But I could help myself. I decided to put my arms around both Belinda and Natalie. And then the worst case senerio happened, I saw Jamie walk into the diner, and she had the most shocked, blank look on her face. It was like she saw a ghost but the ghost ended up to be me. She ran out of the diner and into her car, and I ran after her.
"Jamie don't go! Please wait!" I yelled across the parking lot.
"Wait! Wait for what? For you to flirt more with girls who don't even care!"
"Talking about girls who don't even care! Why don't you care about me anymore?"
"Because this is why Landon! You flirt with every other girl! And I feel like the people that you choose to be friends with is a reflection of who you are too. And I don't want to be apart of that anymore."
"Jamie."
"No! Don't come near me!"
Jamie slammed the driver seat car door and she left the parking lot. I didn't know what to do about her anymore. I didn't know what to do to try to get through to her. I thought I've changed being around her, and I have. But it's like I'm going back to my old ways with out me and her being together. I just had to think of a way to get her back.