A/N: This first started out like a poem, but before I knew it I'd written much more. It's supposed to be a sad, fluffy, sweet thing, with a touch of humor added. Anyway, I hope you like it!

Not everything is how it seems. In fact, things are hardly as they seem. Fai smiles, pretends he's fine, yet I know he's not. Deep inside he's hurting, perhaps more than any of us. If I had one wish, one desire, it would be to ease his pain, or better yet, to make it disappear completely.

You may think it's odd that I feel like this; so do I. When I first met him I thought him weak, stupid, a complete airhead, and many other things which I'm ashamed to admit.

Over time though, as I got to know him, I began to feel differently, began to see him for who he really was, a truly remarkable person who put everyone else above himself and did anything he could to make them happy. He's touched the lives of many people, including me. In fact, you could say he pretty much changed me completely. Well, maybe not completely… he'll never make me think of Mokona as not annoying, and I'll certainly never wear an apron….

But the point is, he changed me a lot. I don't hate everything as much as I used to. He's made me see the beauty in things, though of course I still don't see the beauty in Mokona… damn white pork bun! Seriously, what's he good for anyway? He woke me up at 6am the other morning for NO REASON! And he wouldn't stop jumping on me! What did I ever do to deserve this? Well anyway, back to Fai. Because of him I am a better person.

He's beautiful, too. When I look into his eyes, deep blue like the sea, I forget everything. Even Mokona's latest attempt to drive me crazy. His hair, the color of straw, is like silk, and so soft to the touch. It smells nice as well, like fresh berries.

The way he looks at me, with such desire, makes my heart pound and my palms sweat. Sometimes I wonder how he could ever desire someone like me when he could have anyone he wants.

When I pull him close and kiss him it's like heaven. His lips are so soft, so sweet. He nibbles my bottom lip gently and my eyes close, lost in the moment. We kiss tenderly at first, gently, as if we're afraid we would break if we do anything more. Then the kisses become needier, more passionate. I push him against the wall and he clings to me, presses against me, and it's exhilarating to know he wants me as much as I want him.

Making love is a slow, heartfelt affair, our breath coming in soft gasps, and once more it crosses my mind how much he means to me.

One night he stares out the window, into the darkness, thinking he is alone, and I come up behind him, quiet as a cat. A tear falls slowly down his face, and it breaks my heart to see him like this. I touch his shoulder and he whirls around, startled, glistening eyes wide. Before he can move, I wrap my arms around him, crushing him to my chest. He doesn't resist, though I know he wants to, and slowly begins to relax. His body begins to shake and I stroke his hair as he sobs into my shoulder, sobs that tear into me like a blade. I feel so helpless, upset that all I can do is hold him and whisper that everything will be all right. I want to absorb his pain into me so he will feel none, but that's impossible. Soon he pulls away, and I gently brush a stray tear from his face. I want to ask what's wrong, but I know he won't tell me, at least right now. He smiles at me, though it's only his lips that move upward. His eyes stay the same, full of grief. I kiss him softly, and he hugs me tightly, then lets go and turns to leave. I watch him until I can see him no longer, then lean against the wall, feeling defeated.

I pray for the day when he will truly open up to me, the day when I can finally do more than hold him and whisper comforting things. I want to do for him what he's done for me. Please let me, Fai, my love.