AN: I have been working on this since February when I won a twitter contest and got A Very Special Christmas signed by Mitchel Musso. :D I was rocking out to the CD and heard a song on there called Baby, Please Come Home sung by Leighton Meester and this is how this story came out… Enjoy. :)
I pull the blanket up to my neck, wrapping the dark blue soft fabric as tight around me as possible. I'm reclined on the couch in one of the wings of the Stewarts new ranch. I'm not a fan of this new place. Everything is changing too fast. My dad is an hour away. My mom is in Atlanta. I'm not in a house that I'm used to yet. I'm still getting lost in this huge ranch. Plus, my boyfriend is so far away. I'm not even sure where he is right now….New York, Las Vegas, Rome, Sydney tonight? I don't know.
"Lilly, stop sulking. Come help me put the presents under the tree before everyone wakes up." Miley comes over all bubbly pulling me out of the indentation of the couch that is from me. Every day I lay here holding my phone carefully and making sure it's on vibrate, so if he does call- no matter what time, I get to hear him. I want to hear him. I have to hear him. I need to hear him.
"Miley, I'm not in the mood. Just let me stay here." I say trying to sink into the couch even more. I miss the worn out old one in the Malibu beach house.
"Cradling your phone like that, is just weird." she says yanking my lifeline out of my hand and putting it on a table, "Come on, it's Christmas day! Don't you want to see the presents you got?"
"Truthfully, I only want Oliver and my phone back." I say reaching back to grab the thing keeping me as close to my Ollie as possible despite distance.
"You do know that Oliver told me? He said for me to keep you normal and not one of those lovesick whiney do nothing girls. Where's the Lilly that obsesses over Christmas as much as Jackson and daddy?"
"…with Oliver." I sigh. I'm lovesick, lonely, depressed, desperate…. There's no other way to describe it.
"Lilly. Get your butt off the couch and come have a Merry Christmas with us." she says pulling my hand trying to haul me off the couch. I stay stuck on the couch and pull the blanket closer and tighter around me. If I wrap it tightly enough I dream about Oliver's arms around me tightly. Good dreams, unlike the nightmares I've been having.
"Good mornin' Miles and Lilly! Merry Christmas!" Robbie Ray calls out descending from the stairs.
"Lilly, darlin', get up! Its Christmas morning!" he says joining Miley to help haul me off the couch.
"Deck the halls with boughs of holly!" Jackson resonates from the kitchen, "Fa. La. La. La. La. La. Laaaaa!" he comes over with the rest of the Stewart clan and sits on top of me and begins to belt, "Tis the season to be jolly!" It's not until he sits on me that I see that he has a light-up Santa hat on, Christmas pajama bottoms and socks that sing jingle bells every time he takes a step.
His outfit reminds me of how obsessive Oliver and I are at Christmas. One year we counted down from Valentine's Day to Christmas. Another year, we only wore red, green and sung Christmas carols for all of December. Last year was my favorite though, I hung out at his house all of Christmas Eve at his folks party. I ended up falling asleep on the couch on his shoulder around one AM. He wrapped his arms around me and we fell asleep together. If anything that's what spurred on us getting together. This was going to be our first Christmas as a couple too. I was looking forward to our first holidays as one. Now, he has to go out and be famous and screw all this up for us.
"DADDY! MILEY! LILLY! It's snowing!" Jackson shouts after he sees white specks falling from the sky through the window. I look out the window from the couch and see that it is indeed snowing. This is the second time in my 17 years of life that I've seen snow in Malibu. First time, Oliver and I were six and we had enough snow to have a ten snowball per person snowball war. Well, after we collected the tiny amount of snow from our neighbors and our houses. He's not even here for the second snow I've seen in Malibu. Stupid boy had to go make his dreams come true…It's not that I'm bitter. I'm just missing him, but I'm happy he gets to be part of this world tour. It's huge for him! I just miss him being with me especially Christmas day.
The snows coming down; I'm watching it fall, lots of people around. Baby, please come home.
"I'll join you guys in a second but I gotta go. And when I gotta go, I gotta go!" I try to fake a smile while snatching my phone and slipping into my left hand slyly. They smile back. I'm pretty sure Miley can see that I'm faking, but then again she doesn't stop me. Maybe she can't see that I'm faking and I'm a better actress than I thought.
I arise from my sleeping spot with the blanket still wrapped around me and walk into the huge bathroom almost losing my way as I try to find it. I mean who really needs a huge ranch for four people? It's not necessary. As soon as I get to the bathroom I close the toilet seat and sit there pulling my communication device and rereading the messages we've sent to one another. I scroll all the way back to my birthday which was forever ago but I need to remind myself that he still loves me, misses me and is thinking about me and this message portrays just that.
Lilly, I'm sorry I'm not there with you. I want to be; you have no idea how badly I want to be. Happy 17th, baby. I'm thinking about you all day. I'll try to send you your present through the mail, but it probably won't make it. I love you so much, sweetheart. Don't forget that. And yes, I'm being a good boy. None of the girls down here even come close to my girl. :) I miss you and love you and will be calling you tonight for a special birthday song. :) Happy birthday, Lilly-Pop.
He just hasn't texted or called me since noon over there. I know my Oliver is being good, but I just need him here with me. Insecurities about him have taken the place of having him here. And it seems like I have more insecurities about him out on the town with a bunch of bandmates and hot girls, then him being in places with the highest crime rate-my priorities differ from others-so what?
I snap out of my gloom for a second to remind myself why I ventured in here with my phone. And I type a Christmas text to him. It's not as happy as it would be if he was closer, but it's exactly what I'm feeling right now.
Their singing Deck the Halls but it's not like Christmas at all. I remember when you were here and all the fun we had last year. Merry Christmas, Ollie-Pop.
I send the message and then send another one back to back after I reread what I send and realize I haven't said anything about how I need him back and soon. I type in the last message quickly, almost robotically with the speed that my fingers are going at pressing the buttons and I sigh as I press send.
Baby, please come home.
I flush the toilet so it sounds like I actually came in here to use the bathroom and I look in the mirror. I've got such dark circles, my lips are chapped (I can't put on my coconut lip balm without crying now.) My eyes hurt so much and are starting to get huge bags under them, even with all the sleep I've gotten. I've cried so much in private that it hurts to open them, which is why I try to sleep the day away. It's worked for the most part but today is Christmas and the Stewarts are not allowing that.
My all time favorite holiday is Christmas. I just want my dork back. I want him to be waking me up with a soft kiss and saying, "Merry Christmas, Lilly-Pop." and I smile back at him and say, "Merry Christmas ,Ollie-Pop." I can't portray that through a text, a voicemail, a call, or anything.
We're still together and going strong-stronger than ever before- but why am I so heartbroken as if we aren't together anymore? It hurts so much. I pull the blanket around me once again and walk out of the bathroom while simultaneously looking at my phone. Vibrate, you stupid piece of junk. It's as if my telepathy works and my phone vibrates twice. Not from who I want it to be from, but it does vibrate.
Merry Christmas, Lilly-Bear. Love, Dad
I miss you sweetheart. I love you. Merry Christmas, Lilly. Love, Mom
"Was that Oliver?" Miley calls from the kitchen. I guess she heard the vibration.
"Nope. Just mom and dad." I sigh. I look back down at my phone and try the telepathy thing again. Let's try this again: Vibrate because Oliver sent me a Christmas text, you stupid piece of junk.
"Lilly, come on at least come have some breakfast!" Robbie Ray calls out as he scrambles eggs in the kitchen.
"No. No, eggs." I sigh and run my hands through my hair: it's unkempt, dirty, flat, and lacking in the smell of apples. The reason being is, if I smelt apples wherever I went there could be an even bigger problem…
"I'll have some eggs, daddy." Miley yells a reply and Robbie Ray nods as he stirs the eggs
"Pancakes?" he asks and I shake my head no. Man, I miss midnight mush talk with him…
"Waffles? I know how much you love waffles." he says trying to make me feel better. I don't even have to look up to know that Miles is shooting daggers at her dad, which she should be, since she is my best friend and thinks she knows everything about me. What she doesn't know is how much I am dying inside. She just knows that I'm acting really depressed. Oh Miley, I hope you know nothing you do is going to make this any better.
Waffles are mine and Oliver's special breakfast food. I break down. I can't help it, but I do and then squeak out through my tears, "I'll just have some appl-" I choke up at saying my Ollie-Pop's favorite fruit, he obsesses over and quickly change my request, "—Orange juice."
"You can't just have orange juice, Lilly." Robbie Ray says acting like a true dad. Man, do I miss having my parents as my parents.
"Oliver would like it if you ate breakfast for once, especially since its Christmas." Miley says guilt tripping me as she twirls her hair around her finger.
"Miley, do not go there." I snap my head towards her trying to make my voice sound as icy and sharp as possible.
"It's just I give you a place to stay and all you've done is sulk since he left. I was looking forward to having a forever sleepover with my best friend."
"Uhh—Merry Christmas." Jackson mumbles trying to lighten the mood. It doesn't work, if anything it infuriates me more.
Don't go wishing me a Merry Christmas when all it does it hurt even more and make me miss him more! It's not a Merry Christmas, a happy holidays, Happy Hanukah or even a happy Kwanza without him…I want my Oliver and I want him now!
"My best friend is in New York right now." I say ignoring Jackson and storm up to the guest room slamming the door behind me and collapsing on the bed. I take my phone out of my pocket at and stare at it through my watery eyes. Ollie, where are you when I need you most?
"Lilly?" Miley says knocking at the door rapidly.
"Go away!" I yell throwing a pillow at the door, the sound of the thump hopefully frightening the girl who is making my horrible Christmas even worse.
"Come on, Lil. Its Christmas morning! Don't ruin it by staying in your room." She says through the wooden door—one of her best friends is gone too how is she so cheery? This time last year (and all years prior) we would be sitting in her den exchanging presents and Miley would be pouting that my present from Oliver was just a tiny bit more extravagant. That should've been my clue before the beach party, but man, was I oblivious.
"Oh, so that's why you're coming up here: to tell me not to ruin your Christmas. I thought you were coming up here to apologize!" I yell even louder and tears burst through. No Oliver, no traditions continued, no family, no present from my Ollie-Pop….Merry Christmas, Lilly.
"Uhm…well, uh, you need to come back downstairs." She groans, "Come on, we have presents!"
I smile slightly and I wonder if I've lost my mind but when I feel that vibration from my phone I know that I haven't. 'Oliver, Oliver, Oliver-I love you.' I sing to myself my mood brightening suddenly at knowing that my Oliver is trying to contact me. I open up my phone with an enormous smile and then my heart sinks as I see the text:
Merry Xmas. ily!
Way to be sincere, Oliver. I mean really? You can't even spell out my Merry Christmas text? This looks like something you could send to anyone, not your best friend who just so happens to be your girlfriend. I might as well not have heard from you. I guess I know you're still alive….I wish I could say that was enough. And it is good to know your still on this earth, but that's all I get? So much for I'll call you twice a day…
I sound so whiny. My thoughts are always the same: I miss you. I love you. Come home to me and never ever leave me. I'm even getting tired of the monotony of my thoughts.
"Was that Oliver?" she asks quietly. I know Miley wants to hear from him; she misses him too. Not even a sliver as much as I do but she misses him just the same.
"Yes…" my teeth grit as I answer. I don't mean to sound so abrasive, but I do. I mean really? That's all I get?
"Are you okay? What did he say?" My voice must've clued her in, because she slowly opens the doors and comes and sits with me on the bed. I hand her my phone willingly and wait for her to read the three words-well, some of them aren't even words! She looks up from my phone and looks at my tear stained face and tries to comfort. Honestly, the only comfort for my mental state would be my Ollie-Pop, nothing else can take his place. "I'm sure he's just too busy to sit down and text anything. He just wants you to know that right now he's thinking about you."
"Miley! Look at these!" I exclaim taking back my phone and showing her the text messages that any girl would love to receive from her special guy—I go through pages and pages of texts with all sorts of messages in them and eventually she pulls the phone away from me.
"Lilly, he loves you. He hasn't all of the sudden stopped being the dork you know and somehow love. He's just busy. Now please can we go downstairs and get some food into our systems? I'm starving!" her stomach grumbles right on cue. And as if also on cue my phone vibrates, "What'd ya know—lover boy pulls through once again." She grins looking at the picture that is flashing when I open my phone. It's my lover boy! Oliver, Oliver, Oliver:
I love you, Lilly. You've gotta remember that! I love you so much and miss you more than describable! I'm sorry I'm not home for Christmas. The guys are torturing me with all sorts of sappy Christmas songs that make me miss you even more. I love you, babe. I'll be home for Christmas….if only in my dreams. Merry Christmas, Lilly-Pop. I'll call you soon.
Miley smiles, "See. He gets under your skin but then makes everything better… Just like now."
She wants me to follow her downstairs as she gets up off the bed and begins to venture back down to where her family is. I honestly, want to but she doesn't know what it's like getting a text from your love halfway around the country. I am absolutely ecstatic for a good ten minutes and then it sinks in—this is the only contact with him until he makes one of those twice a day phone calls—if he can. Some of these places he plays at have the absolute worst cell phone reception either of us has come across. It's like absolutely everything is being put against us—even something so simple like cell reception.
"Are you going to come too?" she tosses her brown hair when she looks back at me. It's a question for me to answer but I know that she already knows my truthful answer and she's not going to take it, so I opt for the lie, "Yeah, just give me a sec. I need to get your present."
I'm surprised that I got anyone a present this year. Most of the ones I bought had to go through the unreliable mail service. Rain or shine they get the mail to people, right? I doubt my present to Oliver will make it on time, but this is the bit of normalcy we both need.
I got mom a pair of shoes that she'll go bezerk over because she's been wanting them forever. For dad, I got him a framed picture of me to put in his office—I seriously considered putting my "Ollie-Pop" lollipop in the photo, but decided against it. First of all, dad got enough of the "Ollie-Pop" being in the way in his one bedroom apartment. Secondly, dad loves Oliver just as much as mom does, but being the good daddy he is he makes sure that I'm okay and Oliver doesn't go too far with me. …How do you think I got that safety siren?
Yup, the week I started going out with Oliver dad came and visited me and mom and gave me a present. Oliver was naturally at the house with his arm around me as dad handed me the gift. I opened it with the most obscure, unsure expression and dad just smiled, "It's a safety siren, Lilly-Bear; so that you can always always always be safe!"
"Great idea, Mr. T!" Oliver exclaimed and rubbed my shoulder, "I just want my Lilly-Pop to be safe."
He took it from my hand and blared the sound in between me and my absolutely content boyfriend—surprising us and making the two of us separate from the horrendous loud noise and with a smug smile he comments on the present, "Good. It works." I have only had to use the safety siren on my Ollie, once. My other methods of controlling him work just as good, but I always have it as a last resort.
But now it's Christmas and I have to have some meaningful gift (not a safety siren) for my pseudo-family. Presents for people you see everyday should be so simple, but why are they the hardest? What do I give to Robbie Ray, the man that took me in to live with him when no one else but my dad could? And my new "brother" Jackson, the pain in my side, what do I get him? And Miley, oh Miley…. Hannah Montana can afford anything and has everything—what the heck do I get her? This would be a hard decision anyway, but with my heart and brain in another world it made it even harder.
Last week or so I went shopping to find all this stuff and just hoped that when I saw it, it would jump out at me-thankfully, it did. Giftcard to a hair salon for Mr. Stewart, for Jackson cash, since he's always low on cash and Sienna is getting sick of paying for the both of them, for Miley I went the safe route: earrings. I wrapped it all two days ago and all three are chilling out under the tree, I don't have to grab a thing. I just need a couple seconds with my thoughts. I text Oliver quickly and then walk downstairs where Robbie Ray is giving me a smile, "Welcome back, Lilly—Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Mr. Stewart." I say with a strained smile.
I sit with my "family" at the kitchen table as Jackson makes horrendous burps and is waiting for Sienna to arrive. Miley is glued to her phone texting Jesse. Mr. Stewart serves all of us and I force the food down my throat—it's not that great but I wouldn't dare say so, because then I risk the lecture about me moving in with them. He serves us and himself and then sits down, "We'll open presents when Lorrie, Jesse and Sienna get here. And they'll be here soon." I know that this is his nice way of saying go get dressed—you all look awful! I nod while Jackson eats like a pig and Miley blushes at something Jesse just texted her as she cuts her food and swallows each portion. I pull my own phone out thinking that I just felt a vibrate and I frown—just my imagination again…
I go out to the revamped barn, which houses mine and Miley's room and change out of my pajamas and into a festive green sweater and jeans. I might not feel like Christmas-ing, but I can look the part. Miley, on the other hand, is in the closet going nuts trying to find something to wear that Jesse will like and I am sitting on the bed awaiting a text from Oliver. Miley throws outfits out of her closet and into the floor and holds each one up gauging my reaction. Who cares about clothing anyway? If someone loves you, they love you for you not the clothes…. Something my Ollie-Pop has drilled into my psyche by saying, "Lilly, I don't care what you wear—I honestly don't even care if you give up clothing all together. I want you not the clothes." My dork, my sweet, loving dork.
"Jesse will like anything you wear, Mile. You know that!"
"I know. It's Christmas though...I want to look extra special and help him forget about his dad being overseas and missing Christmas again this year." She holds up a firetruck red dress and all of the sudden we both are hit with memories of Mr. Egotistical Jake Ryan and both exclaim, "No!" She holds up another outfit, a bit more subtle but I know it's from the Hannah closet, "Be Miley, not Hannah." She nods and holds up another outfit, it's a simple black dress with a bright red bow around the waist and we both know that it's her outfit for the night. She changes, grabs some boots to wear and fixes her hair and smiles at her reflection as she puts on some earrings, "Perfect!"
"I'm going to go help daddy set up the rest of the house and see if Jesse is here…" she says leaving me in the barn that has become my sanctuary when she is gone. My quiet sanctuary is quickly interrupted by the sweetest sound to my ears; a little buzz from my phone. My heart nearly jumps out of my chest and I smush the phone to my ear, "Hello? Oliver? Merry Christmas, baby! I miss you!" When there is no answer I pull the phone away and look at the screen… It's a text, not a call-Well, that's embarrassing—but it is indeed from my Oliver. I open the message that says it has a picture attached and I flush with excitement—Oliver rarely can send pictures thanks to his cell phone service that I will continue griping about when he gets home. So this is a treat—a special Christmas treat!
I open the message and read the words on the screen aloud with an enormous smile, "I love you too, Lilly." After reading it, I see the picture. It's my man with a bright red Santa hat on with his lips pursed awaiting a kiss. It takes all I have in me not to make out with my phone screen…. I continue gazing at the picture and see that his hand is holding something above his head, some plant of some sort—mistletoe. I giggle and restrain the need/desire to kiss him, but lose it when I see that he has a continued message under the picture, Oh yeah… Any rational thought is tossed out the window and I press my lips against the pixilated version of my boyfriend. Hey, I'm just following Christmas tradition—mistletoe equals a kiss. The slick phone screen is absolutely incomparable to my man's sweet, soft, warm lips that I haven't had on mine in months! It's like comparing apples to oranges… Oliver of course being the apples.
Jackson comes banging on the barn door as I just sit in giddy staring at my boyfriend's face and he yells, "Come on! Everyone's here!" And just like that my happy high is gone… This place can be out the wahzoo with people but if it doesn't have Oliver then "everyone" is not here…. "Lilly! Come on!" he yells again beating the door harder. I simply get off the bed, stuff my phone in my pocket and open the door right before he goes into another mad banging session on the door. I open the door just as his fist is about to knock the door again and he nearly falls into the barn making me giggle, "I'm ready."
"Good, Lorrie and Jesse are here and Sienna is going to be here soon!" he smiles widely.
"No Oliver?" I ask timidly, not even thinking about how stupid my question is. He's not here. He's somewhere in the country or he might be out of the country by now… So many time zones to keep up with!
Jackson shakes his head "No. Sorry, Lilly."
I nod and blush a bit at the fact that I actually asked that question. I follow Jackson into the house and watch his face light up when the door opens revealing Sienna and she rushes over to him and plants a long kiss on his mouth making him smile, "I've missed you honey." I know I really need to get a hold of myself but when I hear this my blood begins to boil. Sienna has been gone a week for a photoshoot for a swimsuit catalogue. Oliver has been gone almost five months now, with his last visit being three months ago. If I dare hear anyone say, "I miss you." And they aren't in my shoes I want to pound them to a pulp.
Jesse looks over at them and has my same reaction—his dad's been stationed in Afghanistan for almost two years. I like Jesse much better than I ever liked Jake—not only did he know I was Lola when no one else put two and two together, but him and I can commiserate about having people we love so far away. Him and Miley make so much of a better match than Jakey, the jerky as well.
I really am happy for them, for Jackson finally finding love through Sienna and even for Mr. Stewart and Lorrie. They are all on cloud nine with their special someone's near… I'm on cloud negative five thousand and thirty eight with my Oliver gone.
"Hi Lilly!" Jesse resounds after the eye roll he gives Sienna and Jackson. Lorrie smiles at me and hugs her "cuddly cowboy" close, "Lilly, how are your shakes and shivers?" she looks up at Robbie Ray and bats her eyes at him and he leans in for a quick peck on her cheek. Yeah, love birds you can thank me for getting you two together…
"…Lola, right?" Sienna grins my way.
"Lil-ly! You've known me for almost 6 months now! I'm LILLY! Lola is my disguise." I reiterate for the thousandth time. Goodness this model chick isn't helping the model stereotype….
I hear Sienna turn to Jackson and whisper to him, "Gosh, she's rude without him here."
It takes all I have in me to not smack the pretty off that girl. Of course I'm not my cheery self; half of my heart is gone. I'm a half a person—I'm half as nice as I was. Jackson sees my teeth grit and he tries to calm the stupid model down. I try to calm myself down too and look around the room. This house is decorated like crazy! The Christmas tree is sparkling as are the presents underneath, the ornaments take your breath away and the Christmas figurines glimmer when the light hits them. This home is Christmas central. I pull my phone out again and begin typing in the exact thing I'm feeling,
"Pretty lights on the tree. I'm watching 'em shine. You should be here with me.Baby, please come home."
I fake a smile and look over at Miley who is holding Jesse's hand tight in hers and they are talking and when pseudo-dad isn't looking, kissing. It's not this sight that brings me down, it does a tad though; the thing that brings me the most down is the fact that they are on the couch.
If I had to pick one thing I miss most with Ollie on tour, it would have to be the couch time. So many sweet memories made on couches over the years. Seeing a couple having their own couch time hurts, so does seeing Sienna literally hit on Jackson and seeing Lorrie snuggling her way into Mr. Stewart's neck. I'm surrounded by sweet memories that make me bitter.
Miley points to the part of the couch that the two of them aren't covering up. I end up sitting next to Jesse as the two of them make a game of kissing each other while Robbie Ray isn't looking. Oh, how this reminds me of me and Oliver making a game out of when Nancy Oken and her husband weren't looking. Especially Nancy, getting past her with her eye for criminal activity was exceptionally difficult! I miss these games too.
I sit awkwardly as they are absorbed in each other. I can't even make small talk, though I try, because of how immersed they are in one another. Everyone is paired up with someone special. I have my cell phone and I bounce around on the couch trying to make it so that if he does try to get in contact with me, I have service. Robbie, Lorrie, Jackson, Sienna, Jesse and Miley do not have to do some weird bouncing maneuver across the couch to be with their love, but I do. Each bounce across the double-stuffed furniture makes me wish that he was here, moving next to me on the couch. His arms around me like Jesse is doing with Miley, his lips touching mine like Lorrie and Robbie are doing, and him doing some dork thing like Jackson just did and me laughing along with him, like Sienna is doing.
I grasp my phone tightly once the bars rise high enough to let me know that I have service and I look at my sweet boy's face on my background and then in the text that he just sent me. My Ollie-Pop isn't just foxy as a penguin-he's just plain foxy!
The rest of the day goes by oh so very slowly after we open presents and hugs and kisses are shared. The background Christmas music begins to depress me even more than it used to with all sorts of sappy songs being sung by various artists. Everyone has sorta forgotten about Lilly being here except for the occasional small talk that is made when they realize I'm being left out. Robbie Ray looks into the eyes of Lorrie with a smile, as does Jesse to Miley and Jackson to Sienna… I stare at my phone's screen trying to find a smile from deep within, but it's lost in this miserable Christmas.
My phone vibrates again and I grasp it tightly and look down wondering what sweet thing he's going to text me but it ends up being some coworker wanting me to cover for him. It's true that my Oliver is gone, but that doesn't mean that I'm at everyone's beck and call—I don't work that way.
I hear a giggle and turn towards where the noise is coming from, of course it's Lorrie who is curled up with Mr. Stewart on a recliner. Mr. Stewart finally notices me and I hope he can see that I'm a couple more ignores from darting out of here, taking his credit card and flying to where my Oliver is. It wouldn't be the first or the second or even the third time I've had this thought. Honestly, since day one that's been my plan if it becomes crazy unbearable and everyday it's just getting harder and harder. I passed unbearable months ago, more like I hit the unbearable phase the first week he was gone. I'm holding on to any cash just in case an incredible opportunity comes up that would bring me and my doughnut back together again.
He turns to Lorrie and kisses her cheek, making her blush, "I think we need to go ahead and open some more presents." I nod. Finally someone sees the awkward situation I'm in and sees that I am so bored, depressed, left out and oh so very lonely! Finally…hours later…but it happened, someone noticed! I'm surprised that there is more though… I thought we already opened everything. Everyone knows the perfect gift and I'm pretty sure he can't be wrapped and brought home to me. The tee shirt, the charm for a charm bracelet and even the regular gift card just don't cut it this year. Everything is a mockery compared to the gift of having my love here.
"What the heck is left, Robbie?" Lorrie asks climbing more into his lap and nestling her head into his chest.
"There's something way in the back of the tree, under the tree skirt for Lilly."
"Me?" I ask surprised. The worst thought pops into my head if this is one way of kicking me out because of my sappiness then I guess I'm stuck living with my dad, the lactose intolerant workaholic. Fantastic. I'll just run away with Ollie-Pop if this present houses an eviction notice type thing. Actually, that doesn't sound too bad. If you can't get to me than I'm going to get to you, baby.
"Yeah, Oliver sent you something and asked us to hide it until Christmas." Mr. Stewart smiles.
I dart over to the Christmas tree, almost tripping over my own feet and the wrapping paper in the floor. I don't even need to fight my cleaning urges to pick up the wrapping paper. It is so far down on the totem pole because my Oliver sent me a present—nothing can ruin this day now!
I slip my hand under the tree skirt and reach around for a box. I hold onto it tightly when my fingers brush up against it. I pull it out from its covering and hug it to my chest. He hand-wrapped this gift, it's so obvious. I trace over the pieces of tape that are struggling to hold together the wrapping paper and I think about how his fingers were right here doing the same. He probably had his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth while he was wrapping. I can even picture the beaming smile he has when creating something whether it's wrapping a gift, making a new song, or like for my birthday making me that "Ollie-Pop", he puts his heart into whatever he does. Is it weird that I can smell him on the present? Cause I can and it's intoxicating. It's so strong that I must look really weird just holding it up to my nose. I'm in my own world until Miley laughs, "Open it! Don't sniff it…"
I blush and slip a finger under the shoddy wrapping job and rip it off. And then there's a cardboard box with a lid which I eagerly rip off. I look into the box and staring up at me is a red envelope with my name written in his chicken scratch. I smile and I hear Miley whisper to Jesse, "That is the most genuine smile I've seen from her in forever!" I open the envelope and see a yellow piece of notebook paper. "Read it out loud!" Sienna shouts. I skim through the letter, "That's not happening." I giggle.
"Lilly-Pop,
Hi babe, I miss you. I hope your Christmas is going better than mine is. So far all I've done is wrap your present and write this note all the while being made fun of by the guys. I bullied them into getting a small Christmas tree for the bus, because it just sucks not being with you and going absolutely crazy about people not being in the Christmas spirit. We have a Charlie Brown-esque tree, but it's a tree with two tiny ornaments just the same. I've been changing up everything to make this easier, but it's not helping. I miss your sweet smile, your hand in mine, but most of all I miss something that we've never been able to do…. Merry Christmas oh yeah!
I love you so much and I hope this present shows it. It took me forever to find something, but this fits you to a "t". I'll be home soon. We can have an amazing Christmas when I get home! Merry Christmas honey.
All the love in the world,
Ollie-Pop"
I blush and giggle like crazy and Miley turns to her Jesse, "When she's like this you don't want to see the letter. Trust me." I ignore how true her statement is and look deep into the box. I see leaves and something red and white with a bow around it. Did he seriously get me a plant? I lift the plant out and blush especially when the people around me see it. …Mistletoe. Such an Oliver-type present. Oh, I love him and the post-it note on top:
Save this for us until I get home. I love you.
They see my blush and don't push any farther questions. As soon as I enclose my present back into the box and the couples around me pretend they didn't see my innuendo type present, my phone vibrates. It feels as if it's planned. I open it up and put it to my ear and a sweet, sweet voice rings into my ear.
"Greeting cards have all been sent
The Christmas rush is through
But I still have one wish to make
A special one for you
Merry Christmas darling
We're apart that's true
But I can dream and in my dreams
I'm Christmas-ing with you
Holidays are joyful
There's always something new
But every day's a holiday
When I'm near to you
The lights on my tree
I wish you could see
I wish it every day
Logs on the fire
Fill me with desire
To see you and to say
That I wish you Merry Christmas
Happy New Year, too
I've just one wish
On this Christmas Eve
I wish I were with you
Logs on the fire
Fill me with desire
To see you and to say
That I wish you Merry Christmas
Happy New Year, too
I've just one wish
On this Christmas Eve
I wish I were with you
I wish I were with you
Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas – Darling."
"Oliver?" My heart knows it's him, my brain is still trying to catch up—I didn't even look at the caller ID to see. Honestly, though he is the only person that I know that would be so cliché as to serenade me over the phone especially with The Carpenters' Merry Christmas, Darling. I pretend to find his cliché-ness annoying, but it is so adorkable.
"Merry Christmas, Lilly-Pop!" It is him! I smile a mile wide and look at Miley, beaming. She waves me off knowing that even if I didn't have her "blessing" I'd run off to the barn, which is exactly what I do. I fling myself on the bed, and sit with my legs crossed and enjoy his voice and indulge in my "Oliver needs" which have been tingling for as long as I can remember.
"Merry Christmas Ollie-Pop!" I squeal. There's no use in trying to suppress the delight that I feel when he calls.
"I love you." It rolls off his tongue and though this is probably the millionth time I've heard it, I swoon.
"I love you too. Thank you for the song and the present." I smile and hope he can hear the joy in my voice.
"Oh, so you got it? Take care of it so we can utilize it to the fullest when I get home!" His reminder is unnecessary, but I take it to heart anyway.
"I'll hang it over the couch so we can start off with some epic couch time!" I giggle, "Did you get my present in the mail yet?"
"Nope."
"…Stupid postal service…" I grumble.
"I told you not to get me anything cause all I want for Christmas is you." …Another adorkable cliché.
"And you're aware I said the same and that that's a song."
"I thought about serenading you that song, but it was made for a girl singer not Ollie-Pop star."
"It definitely would be interesting to hear you hit those high notes." I tease.
"Yeah, I could do it though and you know it! It might be horrible and be a disgrace to the song. But I could definitely pull it off!" I can't help it I zone out, because I don't really want to hear this when I haven't heard from him in forever. I'd rather hear something more meaningful, not him talking about how much of a great singer he is. He is a great singer, don't get me wrong, but I have a love hate relationship with his singing career. I love his voice. I hate that it takes him away from me.
"Oliver?"
"Yeah, Lil?"
"I miss you. Baby, please come home." This message doesn't even pass through my brain it just spills out without a thought.
"You know I want to." I hear him sigh on the other line.
"I know. It's just so hard."
"Why? You've been pretty okay all this time."
"Jesse is here with Miley, Sienna is here with Jackson and Lorrie is here with Mr. Stewart. This Christmas party sucks. Everyone has their love with them, but me. Everyone has someone but me. This is worse than feeling like a third wheel. Technically, I'm the seventh wheel." I can't help it but I try to hold my tears in but one or two slip out.
"I'm sorry, Lilly-Pop. I really am. I wish I could be there." He sighs.
"I know you do. Anyway how is your Christmas going?" I say quickly changing the subject. No matter what I say I know he's stuck in this and by me harping on the fact that he needs to be home does nothing but further ruin mine and his experience of being apart.
"Horribly. That's why I called. I just needed to get away from the stupid guys and to hear my sweet Lilly-Pop's voice."
"It's so good to hear your voice too." I smile. Then, I bite my tongue so that I don't continue my thought into …and it will feel so good to feel your lips on mine, your arms holding me tight, your hair tickling my face, your warm and rough but oh so very gentle hand in mine….
I must get too wrapped up in my thoughts because I hear, "Lilly-Pop, honey, are you there?"
"Yeah, just day dreaming."
"About me?" he asks. I can't tell if he's just joking around or if he's asking seriously. If he were here I'd be able to see the emotion and/or hear the sarcasm. Just his voice isn't enough.
"As always." The truth is so easy to admit, "Why is your Christmas so horrible?"
"First of all, the guys are idiotic jerks. They don't seem to care that this is my first Christmas away from home. You remember how rude they were on Thanksgiving?" I nod. I know he can't see it though, but I remember. I tried to have the traditional Thanksgiving with the Stewarts by volunteering to make the apple pie but decided that I would have to hold off Thanksgiving until the person I'm most thankful for would be here with me. Oliver's Thanksgiving was much worse, though. He ended up calling me outside of the normal time and he was on the verge of a mental breakdown after all the torment the guys threw at him. There was much yelling from the both of us. Thanksgiving was bad—it's been postponed until Oliver is back—when the two of us will be the most thankful.
"I remember." I say simply.
"It's been just a little less than how horrendous they were on Thanksgiving."
"That bad?"
"It is Christmas day, it's snowing and I'm outside hiding from their torment. It's that bad." Now that he mentions it I can sorta hear his teeth chattering.
"Don't get frost bitten, Ollie-Pop!" I warn. The mental picture I have of my Oliver is not a good one. He's freezing, probably wearing a thin jacket to prove his manliness. Snowflakes are all over him, he's shivering like crazy and his eyes are probably bloodshot from the lack of sleep he's been getting. My poor Ollie…
"I'm about to be. M-my fingers are t-t-turning purp- purple."
"Get inside, doughnut!" I yell at him.
"I need to, I know. B-but I don't want to say g-g-goodbye." His teeth chatter.
"I don't want you to either but your health is more important to me than a phone call, sweetheart." He said this to me when I broke my leg and meant it. I mean it when I say it to him too.
"Oken, get your butt back on the bus! We've gotta head over to the venue! The cold isn't good for your voice either, idiot!" Did this jerk just call my Oliver an idiot? There will be a throw down when I see this guy.
I can hear the chattering stop and he angrily gripes, "Ugh! I hate this, but duty calls."
I hate it too, love.
He sighs, "I love you."
"I love you more." I retort, feeling my heart beat faster at his words.
"Not possible. I love you the most." I swoon a bit, and am about to say I love him more than that but I'm interrupted by one of the idiots.
"OKEN, COME ON! You can talk to the girl later…"
I hear him growl at the guy and probably flash him a look of pure disgust, but then he morphs back into my boyfriend, the love of my life. I might be imagining things but I hear his lips curl up and I can hear him smile and say in the most loving, but disappointed tone, "Bye, Lilly."
"Bye Ollie."
We simultaneously breathe, "I love you." and click the call is over.
I sigh and hold my phone to my chest after we end the call as we always have to. I look around the room and see our large pictures hanging on the wall from the "We Love Lilly day" and I smile. I climb off the bed and slowly walk over to the picture and impulsively try to brush his bangs away. I'm quickly reminded it's just a picture and I try to shrug off the sadness this brings me. I purse my lips and kiss "Oliver's" cheek and look into the "his" eyes.
"Baby, please come home."
AN: Hope you liked it! I promise I've been writing... I've been writing a lot, actually. I'm in the process of editing, revamping and it's taking forever. Anyway, have a great Christmas and Happy New Year! I'll have more soon!
GOD BLESS!
~IheartORANGE~