Despite the necessity of me working on The Life and Times of Dick Grayson, I've been in a rather depressed mood lately (most likely due to lack of reviews, but I can't pin that all on you~)
So, rather than my normal KF/Rob stories being in Wally's or Dick's point of view, I decided to do one in Artemis' point of view ^.^
Warning: Slash, and lots of angst~
Those Left Behind
It was difficult, to say the least, watching to two of them. Seeing Wally light up every time someone mentioned him. Seeing Robin be so happy, smiling to no end, simply at the thought of him.
The nature of their relationship was obvious, they loved each other.
They would do anything for one another. They loved each other. They truly did.
But, no one tells the story of the ones they loved before.
Artemis is supposed to be tough. She's supposed to be strong. Then why was she affected so?
He's stupid. His stupid smile. His stupid laugh. His stupid fiery locks. His stupid boyfriend. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
That's what Artemis told herself. Because she needs to believe it.
It helps alleviate the pain.
The pain of being left behind.
The pain of having another person being chosen over her.
Do not misunderstand her, she's happy they've got each other, but did they have to be so... public about it?
Or maybe it was her superhero training that made her think so. Knowing they were dating, it seemed like every touch, every smile, every word, every action, each time they made eye contact, was more than just platonic between them.
No one told her that falling in love could hurt so much. No one told her that people change. No one told her that she would have to suffer this much pain every day.
That she'd have to fake a smile. Laughter. To force a genuine apologetic look when Wally was running late. No one had informed her.
Despite all this, she's hopeful.
That this is all a phase. That Dick will be frustrated with Wally's tardiness. That they'll have a big fight.
Saddest part? She knows she's being delusional.
She makes stabbing jokes and glares behind their backs, but she'd never break them up on purpose.
Despite being raised to kill or be killed, she knows when to retreat. She knows when the chances of her success are 0.
She knows.
But that doesn't stop the pain. The pain continues to flow. It goes on to trouble her.
Countless sleepless nights. Hours of crying. Staring in the mirror every morning saying, "You're not good enough."
It hurts. She's suffering. She feels like she's gone through fates worse than death.
Why wasn't she good enough? She couldn't even keep a hormonal teenaged male from staring at his male best friend that way. She wasn't pretty enough. She wasn't smart enough. She wasn't fun enough. She isn't good.
Everything seems so bad when you're broken. The most beautiful flower regarded as a monster. The most pulchritudinous sight, a two-year-old's painting. The most alluring person becomes an ugly sight to behold.
Why?
Why?
Why is she allowed to feel this kind of torture? Where was her hero? What has she done to deserve this? When could this possibly end? Whose choice was this to make her suffer?
How is it that someone who went straight, took the righteous path, is rewarded with this monstrous torture?
He was hers. Hers to say "I told you so" to. Hers to groan at, "I can't believe you're late, again." Hers to hold. To hug. To kiss.
How could that all change because of his best friend? His male best friend?
What mistake did she make?
She fell in love with him.
The way he smiles.
The way he laughs.
His lame jokes.
His adorable insecurity.
She couldn't believe it. They'd been fighting a lot due to many problems in both their lives; culminating in their largest fight yet. Things were said. Insults were shouted. Objects were thrown. Tables were flipped.
It's her biggest regret yet: she opened the door for him.
She screamed at him to "Go play with your Dick then."
And he did.
Wally and Robin were laughing on the couch together the next day, holding hands, sharing kisses, dating; Artemis had arrived at the Cave to apologise. To make amends. To make up. Then, she saw them.
It first time in her life she'd felt jealousy. Rage. Pain. Depression. All at the same time, they swirled in her stomach, threatening to burst.
She almost quit the Team.
She almost resigned to being a villain.
Almost.
She was lucky enough to be saved by Miss Martian.
(Entirely platonic though.)
The Martian and her boyfriend were experiencing technical difficulties as well.
Conner had run off into Kaldur's arms.
Was every dude on this team gay?
It sucked.
Watching their boyfriends prance off with other guys, while they lay broken.
It was terrible. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. No apology? No explanation? Just frolicking into the sunset, shadowing over what they left to die.
She'd always wonder if she hadn't said anything if they'd still be together.
That maybe, just maybe, her sole mistake was telling him to do it.
Miss Martian reveals this to be incorrect.
She says even before they started dating, even before Artemis came to the Team, even when they forgot six months, Wally and Robin had feelings for each other.
The feelings were deep.
They were unconscious.
They weren't aware of their own feelings.
Their feelings transcended the trial of time.
They transcended all thought.
The only thing Artemis took solace in the fact that no matter what she did differently, the result would've been the same.
However, this also gave her as many grievances as it did comfort; she'd fallen in love with a man already in love.
How stupid could she be? How could she not notice? How could she let him, guide him into Robin's arms?
They were going to retire being superheroes together.
Get a house in a small town, Palo Alto maybe.
They were going to go off to college together.
They were going to be happy forever.
Were.
Now he was probably going to do all that with Robin.
Stupid, sexy, smart, strong, super Robin.
It's hard being left behind. Because no one acknowledges on you. They always focus on the ones in the sunset, the ones running off together, the ones smiling happily while staring into each other's eyes. It's painful being left behind. It's difficult being left behind.
But Artemis learned something.
Even if she's left behind, she'd protect Wally and Robin's happiness; even if it killed her.
Because that's what the ones who are left behind do.
They protect the ones in the limelight, so they can remain happy.
There you go ^.^ Over 1000 words of almost pure angst~ To be honest, I did this in part because I know that my dialogue is fairly well off, but I need to work on pure descriptions and stuff. Also because I hardly think anyone has done this...
It'd be great if you reviewed this fic :D
Alternate ending time :D (Insert this after "Stupid, sexy, smart, strong, super Robin") :
The four of them, Kaldur, Wally, Robin, and herself had already devised the plan. Aqualad was supposed to turn evil. Artemis was supposed to die.
She'd been so stupid.
She was human, he quoted.
She had replaceable skills, he said.
She was more easily "revenge-able," he reassured.
She agreed.
She was being sent away. Undercover. While Wally and Robin were allowed to 'comfort' each other.
It looks like Tigress will just have to really act like she hates Nightwing then.