Oh my.. this was inspired by I'llbewaiting's lovely art on Deviart... particularly the piece "Things went wrong"..I'm not a RoxasXRiku or SoraXAxel fan but.. IT WORKS.
Do you see me at all?
You walk past me in the hall, hand tight around his, silver hair swaying just the way it always did.
Before this, back then.
Your eyes aren't the same color anymore- no, they've turned darker now. More secretive. Does he like them that way more? I miss the light blue, so blue it hurt to look you straight in the eyes, the blue that reminded me of the sea.
Do you remember the sea, Riku? We used to play there, all the time. You, me...Kairi... Before our troubles began.
Before this, back then.
I know you don't remember, you don't need to make excuses. Hardly anyone remembers anymore, just me, and Namine.. and Axel. Axel remembers the most, and it kills him. Just the way it kills me, to watch you walk past me in the hall, hand tight around his. I almost want to cry.
But I don't. I grip the windowsill hard, knuckles white against white wood and I can almost hear it creak in protest. I watch you go out of the corner of my eyes because I'm afraid to look at you fully- as if you'll turn around and see.
I don't want to ruin what you have now, Riku, but sometimes it hurts so badly to be replaced. Not like you know I am being replaced. But still, you promised Riku.
You promised.
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Do you see me at all?
I see you, walking in the opposite direction, holding his hand. Your blond hair is just as messy as it ever was.
Before this, back then.
You look just the same as my memories, like you just stepped out of my brain and walked away. Even the way you move is the same, shoulders back, head lifted high. Even the shade of arrogance flickers in your eyes for a moment.
It's gone when you see me, I can feel your face turn, just a little. I can imagine the look in your face, it's the same look you give when you see me in class, in the hall. Holding hands with him. It's the look of curiosity, of seeing something that you remember but don't. The sensation of nothingness overcoming you, because that's exactly what it feels like to me.
Do you remember that feeling, Roxas? Of being a Nobody?
I do. I do so much I sometimes press a hand to my chest just to feel my heart beat. I hold Sora close and ask him if he can feel it, because sometimes I can't. He looks so like you, sometimes I forget who I'm holding. He understands, and so does Namine. Only you two don't remember, isn't that sad?
I see you see me, and for a moment I want to push him away from you, grab you and pull you close. I want you to remember. I want you to know who I am, who I was. Who you were. Maybe who you still are.
But I don't. I keep walking, towards Sora who pulls away from the windowsill with a grimace. I keep walking, arm around him, his heat a comfortable presence at my side. I don't want to look back, I don't want to see you walk away with him. I know Sora wants to, I can feel him almost turn, but he doesn't. He just shivered and leans in closer, desperate to forget what he remembers. What you two forgot.
Roxas, I don't want to ruin your new-found relationship with Riku. But it hurts so badly when I see him
with you, walking hand in hand down the hall. It hurts so badly I almost want to be a Nobody again, so I wouldn't feel. It hurts because you forgot your promise, Roxas.
Let's meet again, in the next life.
Yeah, I'll be waiting.
You promised.