The Twitch

By Stessa

The first thing I noticed about her was her mouth and the way it twitched when she was happy about something. She got these small dimples in her cheeks and her mouth crooked sideways in the cutest smile I had ever seen. Her eyes lit up with such joy as we spoke, and I knew that this woman was who I wanted to be with. It didn't matter that I was dating someone else and that she was straight. I could feel that this was real. We had barely said a word to each other, but I knew it.

Sure, I wasn't the most romantic person, but this was special. She was special.

Tina Kennard.

She is the love of my life. It doesn't matter who else I've been with through everything, it has always been her. I remember how much I hated myself when I hurt her. I don't even know what I was thinking back then. I threw seven wonderful years down the drain with just a snap of my fingers. I know I haven't been the smartest person in those areas, because hello, I frigging finger-fucked Alice right before I told her I had met someone else, but I should have known that sleeping with Candace would ruin everything.

And I did it. I went ahead and I fucking did it. Of course everything was fucked up after that. Of course Tina and her cute mouth wouldn't accept my crap like that. It was understandable, I just didn't get why she wouldn't give me another chance. I thought we were perfect together and needed to work it out. Tina thought differently, and over these years she has really changed.

She needed time to grow, I guess. Well, I think it was healthy for us to be apart. We've really hated each other, even if we have Angelica. We really loathed everything the other did, and I think it was good for us to spend less time together. Of course I was stunned when I found out, she started dating a man again, but I couldn't really do anything about it. She wasn't mine anymore, I couldn't tell her what to do and what not to do. Of course I've never been able to do that even if I've often wanted to. I just… sometimes I just wanted her to feel the way I did about things, and mostly she would just do as I expected. Now I understand how hard I must have been to live with – I've really learned a lot after being with Jodi because she certainly didn't let me push her around.

So maybe I changed a lot during that, but I know that Tina changed too. She got herself a nice job that paid the bills, a job she had passion for, which, when I think about it, she should have had from the beginning. I never really thought about it before, but how come I was the one who did all the work? I wanted to, I wanted to take care of her, but Tina wanted to do something herself too, and I see now how blind I was. So yeah, she got stronger, she got wiser and she knew what she wanted, but her mouth still twitches.

It's so cute, I can't even describe it. It's the most unique thing about her. She's gorgeous and she's smart, but when her mouth does that little twitch, and it does so very often, I might add, I just can't help but smile. Even when we weren't together, that twitch always got to me. I couldn't resist it, even if I wanted to be mad at her, I know that I wouldn't be able to resist The Twitch.

Her mouth can do such things. When she kisses me, something in me just lights on. It feels like I'm on fire. I might have loved Jodi, might have even been in love with her too, but it was never like that. We belong together, Tina and I. I can feel it in my heart. I did care that I hurt Jodi, but I wanted to be happy. I hated the process we had to go through to work things out, because Tina hurt as well. She hated what we did to Jodi and she wanted to keep on being friends with her, but… things aren't that easy. I just figured that once Tina and I were together it would all work out.

I swear, when we tried to get to therapy and we got stuck in the elevator during that horrible heat wave, I was about to fall apart. I wanted her so badly, I did. It was horrible for me to be there with her when we tried to stay apart. But of course… I couldn't really control it and we ended up working everything out ourselves. It went the way I wanted it to, it did. It did, but I just… I knew that things would become bad from then on since I had to do something about Jodi. And it did go horrible. The bike ride, the 'I have never…' and the piece that Jodi did with me in it.

It was horrible for me, it really was.

But I got through that because I had Tina with me. I had her with me again and everything would be alright. She can really make me feel that I'm okay even if I know deep down I'm not. She just has to kiss me gently and smile at me with The Twitch and then I'm suddenly okay. Like I said, I can't help but smile when she does that.

I really want her to marry me. I want to spend my entire life with her, and she knows that I want that. I know she wants it too, for whatever reason (I haven't really figured out yet what exactly it is that she sees in me), and we will be married one day. We'll go to Canada like Shane and Carmen did. We'll go there and have the wedding she always wanted. I can't imagine what it'll be like to stand there before her, tell her how much I love her, and finally have her. I know she'll probably use The Twitch all the way through the ceremony because she wants to have me all hot and bothered. I'll smile at her because that's what The Twitch does to me; it makes me smile.

And I think she knows it. I really think she does. She keeps doing it when she's with me. I swear, she's plotting against me, using The Attack of the Twitch to win. And really, it's not just because it twitches. Of course The Twitch is the mayor fact, but I love her dimples too. I love the way she pushes her lips into a small pout, and then when it all happens at once, I know she does it on purpose. I just… I can't say no to her.

She knows I can't say no to her.

Whatever am I going to do if Angelica has the same twitch? Actually, now when I think about it, she already does. It's hinted somewhere and will probably be full-out once she's a teenager and I really need to be a strict parent. Then I won't be able to say no to her when she wants something, and I can already see the disaster coming. Oh shit, what am I going to do about that? I'm going to be a bad mother!

Alright, so Tina would use The Twitch and tell me to calm down now. She's right, I need to calm down. That's not for another ten years and I just have to learn how to resist The Twitch. It's not that tough, I have time to learn it right. All good parents started somewhere. Alright… Alright, so I have three things on my agenda then:

I need to ask Tina to marry me, learn how to resist The Twitch, and get her out of my shirt…

"Bette!"

I turn around and stare down at her as she lies in our huge bed, only in my white t-shirt. Her hair is wild from the exploring we did last night, her lips are pouty and her eyes are full of love. She lies on top of the covers and reaches a foot out to push me lightly.

"Get into bed with me." She whispers, and I can see The Twitch coming on. I already know it's on its way, so I should be prepared and try to resist it since I have to get Angelica up so we can all get to work on time. But she takes me by surprise anyway and I can't help but smile warmly.

I sit myself by the bottom of the bed and reaches a hand out to stroke across her bare leg, "Tina…" I whisper and looks at her seriously. I might be able to accomplish just a few things from my agenda if I really get myself together.

"What?" she innocently asks and now her eyebrow is slightly crooked too! I swear, she does it just to hunt me, she does. She knows what I'll do and she does it because she wants me to. That's not fair. I don't have any secret weapons to use on her like that. I have no idea what it would even be. How come she was created with such abilities? I want one too! I want a… a The Twitch.

Of course it wouldn't work as good on me at all, but I ignore that and leans slightly over her, "Get out of my shirt." I seriously say and now I'm holding myself up, just a few inches above her so I can see her reaction, "And marry me." I finish, much less serious, just because I know that should have been the serious part.

She looks up at me with a smile before she slowly wriggles herself out of my shirt. When her head is resting down again and I lock eyes with her, I swear… I swear I see her mouth twitch.

I already told you that she does that when she's happy, right?

I love this show. It's amazing and unique and I adore all the characters in it, I really do. But there's something about Tina and Bette. They're just so perfect for each other and I was so sad when they split up. But I'm really happy about how they both grew when they weren't with the other, so it was great in some ways.

Anyway, I noticed that when Laurel Holloman smiles, her mouth does this funny thing. I didn't exactly know how to describe it, so I ended with The Twitch. It's unbelievably cute and I find it very unique since I haven't seen it on anyone else. It's adorable, really, and I think that Bette might like it. So yeah, that's the explanation of this short little drabble-ish thing.

I hope you liked it! I will probably write more for this fandom once I get some time, but I needed to get this out of my system. Please leave me a review with your thoughts?

Disclaimer; I don't own The L Word.