Disclaimer: I do not own Rurounin Kenshin or any of its characters. This is a work of fiction.
1
Of all base passions,
fear is most accurs'd
SHAKESPEARE
I sat in a dark corner of the kitchen, listening to the raucous laughter coming from the room next door. My eyes were heavy with sleep, but I was too afraid to close them.
My father's friends could become quite rough on nights like these, and I preferred to stay out of their way.
Jasmine shifted slightly, mumbling something about food while clutching the blanket tightly in her one hand.
I felt bad for her. She was becoming thinner, as was I. We had to be careful with what we had since there wasn't all that much to go around.
My father's incessant gambling was starting to affect us. He either gambled away all his earnings or ended up spending it on something like sake. Perhaps if Ka-san were still around, things would be different.
"Jade! JADE!"
I jumped in surprise, but quickly pushed myself to my feet and hurried over to the door.
"Yes Otosan?"
"Bring another bottle of sake."
"Hai."
Body trembling, I hurried back to the kitchen and rummaged around for another bottle. There wasn't much left.
Good.
That meant they would be finished soon. I didn't want another fight to break out, like the last time. When a group of men got together like this to gamble and drink, only bad things happened.
I went back to the room, careful not to drop the bottle. My father was waiting impatiently.
"What took you so long?"
He snatched the bottle from my grasp before I could say anything and dismissed me with a jerk of his head. I hurried out, aware of all the eyes on me. Quietly I slid the door closed, but not before I heard someone's disturbing comment.
"Pretty little thing. Perhaps one day we can gamble for their "favors"."
They burst into laughter, but I was too horrified to listen to any more. I crept back to the corner, slipping under the blanket next to Jasmine and burying my face in my hands, wishing morning would come.
Kyoto, Japan, 1866
With a start, my eyes opened.
I had probably dozed off. Glancing out the window, I watched as large drops of water splattered against the glass panes.
It had been raining all day.
Even now that it was dark, there were no signs of it stopping. I sat listening to the constant patter of water against the roof, allowing the sound to completely fill my mind and drown out any thoughts of the past I might have.
Mulling over past events was not going to bring me solace. It was better to forget, and move on.
I glanced down at the sewing that lay in my lap. Just a few more stitches and the kimono I was making for Jasmine would be complete.
I was anxious to see her again. It had been weeks since I last visited her, but with the increase of Imperialists in Kyoto, it was becoming dangerous to go out alone.
Especially if you were married to a Shogun army official.
It was a miracle my foolish husband hadn't been assassinated yet. The big oaf was always out drinking with his friends, so sure he was strong enough to protect himself.
He was so blind. Could he not see the country was changing? The Imperialist army was increasing in size while the Shogun armies were shrinking. Sooner or later the old government would fall, and a new era would be ushered in.
Not that it mattered much to me.
I finished up my work on the kimono and neatly folded it, laying it down on the table. I rose to my feet and went to retrieve my black kimono. Usually I only wore it during funerals, but it wasn't wise to draw attention to myself at night.
I removed my worn, faded yellow kimono, but paused when I caught sight of my bruised body in the mirror.
No matter how foolish my husband might sometimes seem, he was a shrewd man when it came to his women. He enjoyed taking his frustrations out on me, but he was careful to never hit me on my face or neck. That way, no one could see the bruises, since the rest were covered by my clothing.
Bastard.
I quickly changed into my black kimono and placed Jasmine's gift in a basket.
At the front door, I slid on my shoes and grabbed an umbrella before heading out into the pouring rain.
The streets were almost deserted, and the few people who were out paid me no heed. I hurried through the rain until I arrived at the Geisha house where my twin sister resided.
Entering through the door, I shook the rain from my umbrella and folded it up, laying it next to my shoes.
One of the other girls who recognized me came over and informed me that Jasmine was still out.
"I'll wait."
The time slipped passed with no sign of Jasmine. I began to worry, not only for her, but also my husband. I feared what he would do if he came home and found I wasn't there.
After a few more minutes of waiting, Jasmine walked through the door. Her hair was done up in a high bun, and her pretty face was hidden beneath layers of white make-up.
She caught sight of me and her eyes lit up.
"Jade!"
I rose to embrace her.
"It's good to see you, Jasmine."
"Come upstairs with me," she said, grabbing hold of my hand and leading me to her room on the second floor.
She closed the door behind us before moving over to the washbasin in the corner. I took a seat on one of the cushions and watched her start to wash.
"So tell me, sister. How have you been?"
"Fine," I lied.
Jasmine had no idea my husband beat me, and I had no intention of ever telling her. She believed my life was tolerable.
Jasmine was fortunate. She didn't know what it was like taking care of a household all by herself. She didn't know what it was like being forced to pleasure a man, and then being beat when she made him unhappy.
And I was happy she didn't know. She was treated well here, and I didn't want to upset her with my troubles. This was just the way things were. Our fates had been decided.
"And how is Hideki-sama?"
Fortunately her back was turned to me, so she didn't notice the muscle in my jaw jerk slightly.
Swallowing my bitterness, I managed to answer, "He's doing well."
Unfortunately, my sister knew me too well. She turned her face to look at me, sorrow and concern evident in her eyes. I shifted my eyes away from her.
I hated it when she looked at me like that.
I was the older sibling. I was the one who had to be concerned for her. Everything I did, every sacrifice I made, it was all for her. I wanted her to be happy and safe. If I could, I would have taken her far away from here – away from all the people who wanted to hurt or take advantage of us.
But that was impossible. We had no place to go and no money of our own. Even if I tried to run away alone, Jasmine would follow the moment she knew I was gone, and then we'd both die out there.
"I know it's difficult for you, Jade, but give it more time. Hideki doesn't seem like such a bad man. Sure he's a bit rough around the edges, but with someone like you in his life, I'm sure he'll become better. Who knows, maybe you can learn to love him."
Love?
How silly. To me it was nothing but a four-letter word – one that didn't mean much. There was no love in that man's eyes when he looked at me. I wasn't so much his wife as I was his slave. I was only there for his benefit; for him to use as he pleased.
But Jasmine wouldn't know that.
"I finished stitching another kimono for you," I said, changing the subject.
Jasmine turned back to me with a bright smile. She had washed away the make-up, and I was now able to see her face.
Born only four minutes apart, the two of us were identical in almost every aspect. People always found it difficult to tell us apart.
Even our own father hadn't been able to tell us apart.
I removed the kimono from the basket and rose to my feet.
"Forgive me Jasmine, I can't stay. I'll come see you again another time."
"Jade."
I paused and turned to look at her. She looked worried.
"Be careful on your way home."
"I will. Goodnight."
I walked back down the stairs, slipping on my shoes at the door and grabbing my umbrella. Once again I stepped out into the pouring rain.
The whole way home, thoughts of my past plagued me. I was only 15, but on the inside I felt much older. Being the oldest, I had always pushed myself to act more grown up, so that I could take care of Jasmine.
After all this time, it was finally catching up to me. I felt so tired inside.
Tired of pretending.
Tired of being taken advantage of.
Tired of having no say over my own life.
I didn't think I could go on like this much longer.
I rounded the last corner, but froze when I caught sight of something.
A man was walking slowly down the street, coming towards me.
Fear gripped me when I saw the sword strapped to his side. I wanted to sprint to the safety of the house, but my feet couldn't seem to move.
Strangely, the man didn't seem to have noticed me at all. As he came nearer, I realized he was in pain. Each step he took made him wince, and he swayed from side to side.
I watched him stagger forward a few more steps before collapsing, right in front of our house.
I remained rooted to the spot, waiting to see if he would get up.
He didn't.
Slowly I made my way over to him. When I stopped at his side, I knelt down to examine him.
He had passed out, and the left side of his face was bleeding profusely. I stared at him for the longest time.
He had long red hair and a handsome face, but he was young, not that much older than I was.
A red-haired swordsman. There were many rumors floating around about a red-haired Imperialist, but surely it couldn't be this man.
Or could it?