And globes and maps are all around me now / I wanna feel you breathe me
Globes and maps I see surround you here/ Why won't you believe me?
Globes and maps they charter your way back home/ Do you wanna leave or something?
-Globes and Maps
"I just don't see why you have to leave…" Blaine whined playfully. Sam chuckled, pulling his pants back on.
"Because my roommate will get suspicious and report us to the Dean. You know what a stickler Justin is. Remember when Wes brought Mia back after their date and ran into Justin in the hall?"
Blaine groaned, burying his head in a pillow. "Yes…the poor girl."
Sam turned back to Blaine, buttoning his shirt. "You know I love you…but Justin scares me. I'll see you in class tomorrow."
Blaine grinned, watching as the blonde boy snuck from the dorm room, shirt buttoned incorrectly and hair a tousled mess. But his heart sank as the door closed. Sam wasn't scared of Justin – the boy was uptight, but nice. He was scared of people knowing. Late-night hook-ups were okay, but holding hands in the hallway? Out of the question.
He turned over, breathing in the scent of coitus and sweat and Sam that lingered in his sheets. Just a year ago, he too was scared of who he was. But Dalton was different; people at Dalton understood. So why couldn't Sam see that?
Blaine rolled over, eyes fluttering sleepily. He would come around. Sam wasn't the type to keep secrets. He would come around.
"Kurt, do you really have to go?" Finn whined, not so playfully. Kurt laughed, throwing a pillow at his almost-stepbrother.
"I have to go home and sleep, Finn. You've heard of that, right? It's where you get in bed and close your eyes." He stood, brushing his pants off. "Besides, it's obvious neither of us will finish this assignment tonight. We're too…"
"ADD?" Finn suggested, chucking the pillow right back. Kurt dodged it, letting it knock over a lamp instead.
"Exactly." The smaller boy packed his bag, nudging a candy-bar wrapper away with his foot. "And anyway, if you get anything above a B+ on that algebra worksheet, Mrs. Hobbs will have a heart attack."
He ducked again as a textbook went soaring towards him. Finn was laughing, though, so the comment wasn't taken to heart. "But she might have a heart attack if you don't get something higher."
Kurt shrugged. "I'll just tell her a certain football player wouldn't stop stuffing junk food in my mouth while I was trying to work."
Finn rolled his eyes. "You could gain a few pounds, man. You're a skeleton."
"Not all of us have the world's greatest metabolism, Finn. I have to work to keep the pounds off. Have you seen pictures of me from middle school?"
The taller boy shrugged. "Everyone was ugly in middle school, Kurt. Even Quinn and Santana."
It was Kurt's turn to roll his eyes. "Sure, sure. Oh, crap!" He looked at his watching, frowning. "It's one. I thought it said eleven. Shit, Finn, my dad's gonna kill me!"
Finn frowned, popping a potato chip into his mouth. "Why? You were studying, not getting laid."
Kurt nodded absentmindedly, turning on his phone. His face paled. "Umm…right…oh, God."
"What?" Finn asked, sitting up. "Is he mad?
Kurt blushed, tucking the phone away. "No…quite the opposite, really. Um…I would pretend to be asleep when your mom comes home tonight. If she comes home tonight."
Finn didn't get it. "Wait, why?"
The smaller boy shook his head. "I'll tell you when you're older…"
He headed for the door, slipping his shoes back on. The room was completely trashed, but he assumed Finn preferred it that way. Food wrappers littered the floor, the bed had been all but torn apart to be fashioned into their "Study Tent." The small TV was lying on its side, and Finn's homework was strewn across many different surfaces.
"Hey, Kurt…" The small boy turned as he reached the door, eyebrow raised. Finn looked up sheepishly, smiling. "It's gonna be fun when we're brothers."
Kurt smiled, putting a hand over his heart. "I look forward to it, Finn Hudson."
Finn slumped back down against his pillow, waving as Kurt left. The door opened downstairs, and there was a bit of awkward small talk as Carole Hudson and Kurt ran in to each other. A text lit up Finn's phone:
Pretend to be asleep. You'll thank me later.
He turned off the light and snuggled under his sheet-tent (who needed beds?). Having a brother was going to be the best thing ever.
"What do you mean you're leaving?" Blaine asked, sitting up. Sam gripped the doorframe, grimacing.
"My mom found out, Blaine. She knows about you, about us." His hands trembled a little, but his voice was calm. "I can't do this anymore. I can't…"
Blaine stood, walking over to the boy. "Be yourself?"
"That's not fair, Blaine," Sam whispered, looking down at his friend. "I just… They're pulling me out. Said private school has gone to my head. They think that public school will do me some good."
"You mean straighten you out." Blaine's voice was shaky and his body showed it. "Make you…normal!"
Sam laughed darkly. "I'm bi, Blaine. I can choose to be normal. But not here. Not when you're here."
The dark-haired boy held back a sob and grabbed his friend's hands. "Please, don't leave."
Sam shook him off, frowning. "I'm sorry, Blaine. Look, I have to go, it's a long drive to Lima-"
"Don't do this." Blaine's voice was steadier, quieter. His eyes were those of a man in defeat. "Please."
Sam sighed, and turned to leave. "Take care of yourself, okay?"
Blaine watched from the doorway as Sam walked down the hall, and out the door. A sob bubbled from his chest, and he leaned his forehead against the doorframe.
"But I love you."
"You're leaving?" Finn didn't seem to want to believe it. They had been brothers for such a short amount of time and Kurt was leaving him?
"Saying it repeatedly won't make it not true, Finn," Kurt huffed, throwing some pajamas into his suitcase. "You don't understand…" He muttered, swallowing back tears.
Finn slammed the suitcase lid down, grabbing Kurt's arms. "I can protect you! You heard Sam. We'll keep you safe."
Kurt shook his head. "You don't get it, Finn. You can't protect me. He's always in my head, Finn. In my dreams; he makes them nightmares. He watches me, he stalks me. He steals my things and hurts me and he's going to kill me."
Kurt pushed past his brother, grabbing a few more articles of clothing from his closet. A beaded boot tipped over, reminding them both of the Lady Gaga assignment. An awkward silence filled the air.
"Please, Kurt, we'll help you."
The smaller boy choked back a sob, zipping up his suitcase. "You can't. You know you can't stop it. Just let me go, Finn."
Kurt rolled his suitcase to the stairs, shoulders hunched. Finn tried to grab his hand, but the smaller boy pulled away, lips trembling.
"Take care, okay? I'll see you next weekend. Keep Rachel out of trouble. Make sure Mercedes doesn't start any more riots. Don't let Quinn realize that her boyfriend is probably related to her. Just…forget about me, okay?"
He ran up the stairs, hauling the suitcase that now contained his life. Finn sat down on his bed, scowling at the floor.
"But, we're brothers now. I love you, man."
Sam really liked Finn. Not in a "I want to fuck you into tomorrow" kind of way, but a "Let's play Halo and talk about sports" kind of way. He wasn't bi anymore; he was straight. And there was no way he'd have those kinds of thoughts about his new friend.
Of course, the fact that he was still helplessly in love with Blaine might have helped.
But what he liked about Finn the most was the way he acted around Kurt. After Christmas they seemed to always be talking on the phone, texting each other, or Facebook chatting. Every time Sam saw Finn, really, he seemed to be on his phone.
"Kurt, why did you call me? I'm a guy! I'm terrible at dating advice!"
Sam raised an eyebrow. Dating? At Dalton? It couldn't be…
"Why didn't you call Quinn? Oh, no wait. Bad idea. Mercedes? Never dated, right…Britt- forget it. You're right. We all suck at dating."
Finn paced the room as Puck kicked Sam's ass at Halo, listening intently to Kurt's troubles.
"No…don't do that. You'll scare him. Here, let me go call my mom – OR NOT. Jeez, what d'you have against…? Oh…right. Burt."
Sam went back to the game, feeling unsettled. Kurt didn't make him nervous in the way he did with the other guys at school – sort of a "Oh, shit, this guy's gonna jump me in the showers" mentality. No, he made Sam nervous in a "Oh, shit, this guy's gonna jump me in the showers and I don't know if I would try and stop him" sort of way.
Finn came back over, settling down in his beanbag chair. "Alright, bud. Good luck. Tell Blaine I said hi…yes, I realize I've never met him. Oh, hold on!" Sam waved to Finn, not quite sure what he was about to do. He took the phone from Finn, and inhaled deeply before speaking.
"Hey, Kurt, it's Sam."
Kurt sounded confused. "Um, hey, Sam. How're you?"
"I'm good. Dalton treating you all right?"
"Yeah. Blaine and the others have been great."
Sam closed his eyes, then said, "That's good. Um, can you pass on a message to Blaine for me?"
Finn and Puck paused the game, looking interested, and poor Kurt just sounded confused again. "Um, sure."
"Tell him I'm sorry, okay?"
And then he hung up and walked calmly from the room, leaving Finn and Puck speechless.
Kurt knocked on Blaine's door, looking troubled. "Can I come in?"
The older boy smiled, patting the spot on his bed next to where he sat, reading. He set his book down and took off his reading glasses. "What's up?"
Kurt sat daintily on the bed, fidgeting with his hands. "I just got off the phone with Finn…" Blaine nodded, smiling. "And a boy by the name of Sam Evans. He told me to give you a message."
Blaine paled. Sam knew Kurt? Kurt knew Sam? Lima, he thought. Sam's in Lima now. Kurt's from Lima.
Kurt saw the look on Blaine's face and continued, "Anyways, he told me to tell you that he's sorry. And then he quite rudely hung up on me. I hadn't even said goodbye to Finn, yet."
Blaine bit his lip, looking down. "Is that all?"
The femme boy scowled. "No. He also said to tell me how you two know each other."
The room was silent, and then Blaine spoke, "We…we…we were in love."
Kurt's reaction was not what Blaine was expecting. "I knew it."
Blaine did a double take. "What?"
Kurt shrugged. "I called him out on being gay when he first arrived at McKinley. No one believed me, though. The only thing I could get him to admit to was that he dyed his hair."
The older boy frowned. "He dyed it? But it was so pretty…"
Kurt sighed. "Not the point. You dated Sam Evans?"
"No." Kurt glared. "We didn't date. Not publicly. He…he wasn't ready to come out as bi. In the end, it's what drove him from Dalton."
The younger boy sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, Blaine. That must have been hard for you."
Blaine nodded. "I loved him."
Kurt muttered, "Dammit." Blaine looked up, confused. "Oh, to hell with it."
Their mouths met as Kurt pulled on Blaine's shirt. They pulled apart with a "pop" and Kurt slid off the bed, embarrassed.
"Damn Finn and his dating advice…" He murmured, heading out the door. A hand stopped him, pulling him back into the room.
"Don't leave," Blaine whispered, and then they were attached again, mouth on mouth in a heated battle for dominance. Kurt shivered, suddenly very grateful for Finn's advice.
"Never," he whispered back, smiling softly.
"Don't ever leave me again!" Finn cried as Kurt entered the house. The smaller boy rolled his eyes.
"I was gone for a week, Finn. Like every other week." The taller boy didn't seem to care about technicalities, though. He scooped Kurt into a big hug, twirling him around in circles.
"It was too long!"
"Carole made you clean the kitchen by yourself again, didn't she?" Kurt asked, grinning.
Finn shuffled his feet. "Maybe."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Good to know I'm loved for at least my cleaning abilities."
Finn's face was suddenly serious. "We love you for more than that, Kurt."
"I was kidding, Finn."
"No, you weren't."
Kurt bit his lip, then pulled Finn into a tight hug. "I missed you, you big dummy."
Finn held his brother close, smiling, and quietly repeated, "Don't leave me again."
"Dude! Watch out!" Sam pulled Finn aside before Azimio's slushie could hit him. It missed, and landed on Jacob instead.
"Thanks, man," Finn said, slapping Sam on the chest in a "bros-before-hoes" fashion. "That would've sucked."
Sam nodded, hoping Finn hadn't been able to feel his racing heart. That was the good thing about crushing on someone so oblivious – he didn't notice anything. Ever.
"They've gotten worse since Kurt left. Guess they lost their main target, and gotta take it out on his brother," Finn said, laughing darkly. Sam grimaced.
"That sucks, man. But I still feel really bad for Kurt. I mean, so what if he's gay? You're a jock and you were okay with it…right?"
Finn shrugged. "It kinda creeped me out for a while, but…Kurt taught me to get over that. It doesn't matter who you love. What matters is who you are."
Sam smiled sadly to himself. "I just don't see why the other guys can't understand that."
Finn shrugged again. "I guess 'cause they've never been friends with Kurt. Being his brother has changed me so much. I wish they could have that kind of experience."
The blonde boy nodded, old memories of Dalton resurfacing. "Well, I'm glad Kurt has you for a brother."
Finn smiled. "Thanks, man."
They parted, and Sam had to smile. Finn really was a great guy. Maybe…maybe with friends like Finn and Kurt and…Blaine, Sam could stand up to his parents.
He walked down the hall, a new confidence in his step.
"You guys were great!" Kurt exclaimed, slapping Finn on the back. Finn grinned, ruffling his brother's hair. "And it was such a sweet idea to put on this show for Coach Sylvester's sister and the nursing home."
Blaine stood to the side, watching the brotherly love from afar. It was adorable, honestly, and Blaine wished he had a camera. A cough from his right alerted him of the presence of Sam Evans.
They looked away, awkwardly. Sam spoke first. "Um…hey, Blaine."
Blaine tapped his foot, shifting uncomfortably. "Hey, Sam."
Another silence, then, "Hey, Blaine?"
"Yeah?"
"Did Kurt give you my message?"
"Yeah."
"So he knows?"
"Yeah."
"Did he do some sort of victory dance?"
Blaine laughed; he had missed Sam and his sense of humor. "Sort of. Your hair looks…nice."
Sam shrugged. "Never let me near hair dye at three in the morning. I told everyone it was lemon juice, but really…come on, people."
The two boys laughed, and the tension seemed to be lifted. Blaine smiled. "I missed you."
Sam sighed. "I missed you, too."
A squeal met their ears, and the two boys turned to see Finn, wrestling Kurt to the ground, laughing hysterically.
"YOU ASSHOLE! MY HAIR! MY HAIR!"
"LOVE YOU, TOO!"
Sam grinned, and squeezed Blaine's shoulder. "Look, man, I know I screwed up, and I know you and Kurt are really happy together, but…can we at least be friends?"
Blaine smiled, pulling his ex into a hug. "Of course."
"Great," Sam said, pulling away after a minute. "Because I'll need all the help I can get if I'm going to come out to everyone and stand up to my parents."
Blaine gaped at the blonde boy, blinking. "You…you're coming out?"
Sam nodded, looking over at Finn and Kurt, who were still on the ground. "Yeah. I think I'm ready."
Blaine hugged the boy again, pecking his cheek chastely. "I'm proud of you."
Finn dragged Kurt back over to the two boys, grinning in victory. Kurt went straight to his boyfriend's arms, scowling. "Asshole doesn't play fair."
Mr. Schue called New Directions over, and Finn left with a wave and a wink. Sam lingered, smiling at the couple.
"Good to see you again, Kurt. Blaine," he took a deep breath. "Don't let this one go."
He left them there, waving goodbye as he joined his friends. Kurt smiled at Blaine, kissing his cheek.
"I see you two talked."
Blaine nodded. "It was…cathartic? No, not the word."
"Soul-cleansing?" Kurt guessed as they walked out to the car. "Concluding?"
Blaine shrugged. "Sort of, yeah. I guess… everything's okay. I'm okay, you're okay, he's okay. A happy ending."
Kurt smiled. "I like that."
They stopped by the car, just breathing in the crisp night air. Blaine grinned, pecking Kurt on the nose.
"Let's go home."