Title: What To Expect When You're Not Expecting

Author's Notes: I started writing this story when I was 16, posted three chapters when I was 23, got discouraged and discontinued it, and just decided to revamp it. The storyline is remaining the same, just taking out a few OOC moments and making it feel as much like an episode as I can.

The story takes place in an AU season 8, which means: (a) Janet Frasier is alive and kicking, (b) so is Jacob Carter, and (c) Pete who? Otherwise, everything else is the same: General Jack O'Neill is in charge of the SGC and Lt. Col. Sam Carter is the leader of SG-1. All episodes from season 8, except those that conflict with the above three points, happened exactly as we saw them.

As the sun began to set on the planet designated P5X-482, casting orange rays on the ground as it did so, Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter pulled back a tent flap at the small base camp that had been established. She stepped outside, surveying the land that she and other SGC personnel had evaluated over the past three days. From what Daniel Jackson had interpreted from the cave drawings situated to the southwest, a civilization lived on this planet about 2,500 years ago.

Of course, as it would happen, something wiped them out.

While out with a recon team a few days ago, Daniel had discovered a new substance in the rock layers that began recurring every 500 years or so by his estimate, and some had been collected for lab analysis. Carter, being the dutiful scientist that she was, had helped to study the sample but found nothing conclusive with the equipment that had been brought off world. She had just finished compiling her report, along with the recommendation to retrieve a sample and bring it back to the SGC for further analysis, when someone outside shouted, "Jackson!"

Sam smiled. Lieutenant Timothy Richardson had a habit of calling people by their last name, even though it had previously led to a disagreement between himself and General George Hammond while he was still the commander of the SGC.

That was when she had stepped outside, shielding her eyes from the blazing sun, and looked towards the Stargate.

Daniel was walking through a man-made narrow pass that allowed the teams to walk straight instead of hiking over the steep hill that made up part of the valley's boundary.

Considering the amount of equipment that had been brought on this little expedition, it was well worth it, despite Linney receiving a sprained ankle as a result.

Carter made her way down the gentle slope and jumped a short distance, landing on the flat ground. As she stood upright, Daniel walked to meet her. "So I just talked to Jack."

She raised her eyebrows. "What did he say?"

Daniel shifted his glasses. "Well, he said he's really busy, you know, being 'the man' but a trip through the 'Gate sounded like fun. So he's gearing up and should be here in ten minutes."

Carter smiled. "Great. The sooner that I can show this site to the general, the sooner my vacation starts."

Daniel crossed his arms. "Is that an April Fool's joke?"

Carter sighed, then chuckled. "No, Daniel, it isn't. I have 54 vacation days saved up. General O'Neill practically ordered me to take a vacation." As they began walking back to the tent, she added, "Why would you say that, anyway?"

"Oh, just something Jack mentioned about your motives for getting him to come."

Carter turned and stared for a minute. "He really thought that I would play an April Fool's joke on him?"

Daniel shrugged.

"Hmm. Good thing I left the Goa'uld voicebox at home," she joked, slapping him on the arm and walking into the tent.

"So you're really going on vacation?"

"Yep. Bought a plane ticket to the Keys. Just gonna relax, soak up the sun, and hopefully catch up on some light reading," she replied, patting a stack of papers and books on the desk.

The archeologist just shook his head. "Whatever floats your boat."

"Daniel, in the last six months, I've only had leave once. And I spent most of it on the other side of the 'Gate looking for a Tok'ra spy that went missing." She grabbed a bag out of the corner and carefully inserted the stack of papers, reasoning, "If the general, despite being 'the man', has managed to make time to go fishing twice in the past couple of months, then I'm allowed to spend the weekend holed up in my lab, hanging out with Cassie, taking a joyride on my motorcycle, or flying to Key West to lie on a beach for five days." She gave him a determined, if mischievous look. "I'm getting my time off. And actually taking it too."

Daniel stepped aside as she exited the tent. "Somehow, I believe you."

She smiled at him, then glanced down to the gorge in the valley wall as she heard the Stargate began to spin. Within a matter of seconds, the wormhole connected and a solitary figure exited.

"That's him," Carter said, dropping her bags just outside the tent flap.

"Most likely."

"No, I know it's him."

Daniel squinted against the rays of sunlight on his face. "How do you know for sure?"

She turned and squarely faced him. "Besides him being the only person due to arrive, I felt all the fish on this planet tremble in fear."

"Just what do the remnants from Jolinar let you do, again?" Daniel asked, smiling humorously as he cocked his head.

She grinned. "I'll go meet him. We'll meet you at the cavern entrance."

He gave a thumb's up and headed away.

Carter crossed the gorge, walking faster than normal, and met Jack O'Neill two thirds of the way to the Stargate.

"Carter. I see you've taken up power walking," he said, taking off his sunglasses and letting them hang around his neck. His outfit was nearly identical to the time that they had again encountered Maybourne, leaving the BDU jacket at home and wearing his standard black T-shirt and green ball cap.

Just like old times, she momentarily thought, then shook her head.

"General," she greeted, nodding politely yet quickly. "Glad you could make it."

"Oh, you know me. I love a good recon trip through the Stargate. Although I'm curious, Carter. I'm gonna read your report anyway, so why'd you insist that I come on site?"

They turned and began walking back to the encampment. "I didn't insist, sir. I merely suggested it. To be honest, I was surprised when Daniel told me that you were coming—"

"Carter," he interrupted, stopping and holding a hand in the air. "I'm kidding. You know I miss going off world. I was just trying to kid your goat a little."

"April Fool's?"

Jack nodded, then turned and began walking again. "It is that time of year."

"Daniel and Teal'c are waiting for us at the caves."

"Yeah, he sounded all giddy. What was that about?"

"To be honest, sir? I don't know. We didn't find anything conclusive about the substance in the walls and—" She stopped short when O'Neill looked sideways at her. "I actually tuned Daniel out after awhile."

Jack beamed. "You get that from me."

"Yes, sir."

After a brief stop in the camps, during which Richardson unfailingly called the general "O'Neill" and earned himself a steely glare, Jack and Carter finally made it to the cave entrance. Daniel and Teal'c took point, even though he was under the impression that these caves had been cleared, and that left himself and Carter in the rear.

He kept a light hand on his P-90 as Carter's eyes lit up. "This is amazing, sir. I mean, really."

"Carter, easy. You're starting to sound like Daniel."

She suppressed a giggle, then nodded. "Sorry, sir."

O'Neill shrugged. "So. Explain why you're so fascinated again."

Carter could obviously tell he was pulling her leg. She cleared her throat, but began her lecture again. "The cave system is infused with trinium and descends for nearly ten stories, as best as we can tell. It would make an excellent location for an emergency evac site."

"Okay, okay, I get it," O'Neill said, holding up a hand. He knew why these caves were valuable. He had listened full well the first time around. During his tenure at the SGC, he had become a bit of a master at multi-tasking, especially when it involved listening to a tedious report and pretending to stare off into space.

And then, of course, there were times that he just enjoyed listening to Carter ramble.

Unfortunately, as Daniel kept turning around and glaring as he had asked Carter for more information, undoubtedly anxious to share his own, Jack figured that maybe now was a wise time to stop.

As the cavern tunnel made a turn to the right and opened up into a larger room, the stalagmites and stalactites protruding from ceiling and ground at every possible juncture, Jack nodded approvingly. "You forgot to mention the spa."

Carter shrugged. "I was getting there."

He smiled, then looked over at Daniel, who was currently preoccupied with cleaning his glasses. "All right, Daniel. You can present your report to the class now."

Daniel shot him a look, then glanced around the cavern, not noticing the flickering light that was floating in the corridor behind them.

Sam was checking her watch as discreetly as she could without drawing attention. She realized she was failing when she glanced up quickly and noticed the general's eyes on her, an amused smile on his lips. "Got a hot date, Carter?" he quietly asked her, coming over to stand next to her, elbow to elbow.

She chuckled. "No offense, sir, but I'm ready to go home, finish packing, and hit the beach."

"I know, Carter. Just give Daniel another minute to do his thing so he won't complain the whole way home."

She nodded. "Yes, sir."

Knowing that the archeologist wouldn't be content for at least another five minutes, she took a more detailed look around the cavern. There was a pool of water about fifteen feet away from them, facing a wall, and most of the striking features of the cave seemed to the formed from the water dripping off the stalagmites. There was an opening to the world above through what could best be described as a skylight, and the dimming light from the sunset above caused the room to glow orange and blue and green.

It was a rare and beautiful sight, one not usually seen on most of the worlds that they had visited lately.

O'Neill suddenly nudged her elbow. "Carter? What's that?"

Sam turned around, disturbed out of her contemplation, looking to the area that he was pointing to.

A small light, looking very much like a lightning bug, was floating through the cave. However, instead of a tiny glow attached to a flying thorax, it looked like a ball of light. She almost called it fluffy. It hovered near the entrance to the cavern, then quickly moved to the ceiling.

"Huh," was all Sam could manage to get out.

"'Huh'?" Jack repeated after her.

She shrugged, not knowing what else to say. "It's … interesting."

O'Neill grunted derisively.

She laughed. "What? Can I not use the word 'interesting' anymore?"

"No. I mean, yeah, you can, it's just … I always expect more – high falutin words from you."

Then he moaned.

Carter narrowed her eyes at him. "Sir? You okay?" she asked, reaching out to touch his arm as a frown appeared on her face.

"Yeah," he replied with a gasp of air as he dropped to his knees. "That – I swear, that thing just hit me."

"The light?" she queried, glancing around the room again, worried when she didn't see Daniel or Teal'c anymore.

"Yeah, the light. It's like it just poked me in the stomach. And then went through me. Hard."

Sam raised an eyebrow, then felt a sudden warmth combined with a punch in her abdomen. "Oh God, what the—"

She couldn't even finish her sentence. The intense sensation that suddenly sent shockwaves through her body was preventing her from even mouthing anything. Despite a supporting hand grasping her elbow, she dropped to her knees, gritting her teeth, wishing for the pain to subside.

And just like that, it did.

When she opened her eyes again, she saw Jack's brown eyes staring at her in concern. "You okay?" he asked softly.

"I think so," she answered slowly, eyes roaming the area again, looking for the light that seemed to have disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

Right on cue, Daniel and Teal'c walked around the corner.

They broke into a run when they saw their two friends down on their knees, supportively holding onto each other's arms. "Sam, Jack, what's wrong?" Daniel asked, kneeling next to them.

"I don't know, exactly."

Jack glanced up at Teal'c, then back at Sam. "We should get back to the SGC, have the doc check us out."

"I concur," Teal'c agreed, his only words so far this evening.

Next chapter: what will Janet find when they return home? And why is Sam suddenly throwing up?