Written By Myself and my partner Emberlioness, it is also on if you will like to try it there instead of here. Enjoys :D

Rosemarie Jeeson and Maribell Arbor, bestfriends that grew up in a microscopic town in the middle Tennessee. They started from the bottom and now they are successful hostesses on a reality television series called "What's Wrong With America." Rose is a small name author and assistant script writer along side Seth MacFarlane, himself. Mari is an up and coming comic book illustrator and voice over talent on animated series, such as Family Guy and Robot Chicken.

When Entertainment Tonight decides to do an interview on the girls lives and relationships with Seth MacFarlane and Seth Green; they get more than they ask for. The girls go into detail on their lives (and the boys), between the girls stalker friends and MacFarlane's pervy wits on how Rose and Mari should just, "Rock a threesome with me. " ET finds out that It's Safer Not To Ask.

The restaurant was an everyday, high scale restaurant. One that required a week in advance reservation; so Rose Jeeson-MacFarlane and Maribelle Arbor-Green chose it last minute, dragging their husbands and the poor interviewer and camera man with them. They pulled open the large class doors and stepped through with suave and grace. Well, grace for Mari. Rose almost tripped over her flip flopped decked feet and had to be steadied by Seth MacFarlane. Her usually pale cheeks flushing red as a giggle escaped her mouth, and her best friend laughed with her.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," she grinned and straightened herself up, touching her husband's hand that rested on her hip. He held in a laugh, his trade mark smile flashing to the surface. Mari took the arm of her husband, Seth Green, and the two girls—and their husbands—led them to the hostess. She stood behind a deep, red wooden podium, her manicured fingers taping the reservation book in front of her. She was wearing a tight black dress with simple red lipstick, her natural red hair in a bun at the nape of her neck. Her eyes widened at the sight of the group. Rose giggled; knowing exactly what she was seeing.
Rose's golden blonde hair was in a pony tail high on her head, mismatched earrings (one black skull stud, a black heart stud, a dangly red dr. Pepper bottle top, and a feather) a simple red t-shirt, and black knee shorts. Mari was at least half way decent for this fancy-dancy place. She had on designer jeans and a tight purple blouse, a pair of black wedges, and her deep brunette hair was curled and pinned. At least Seth and Seth wore business casual suits—both black with no ties. They all looked like an odd pair and it didn't help that Rose and Mari were now holding pinkies.

They sauntered up to the wide eyed hostess with large beaming smiles. Ross leaned against the podium and looked over the reservation book, "Yeah, we don't gotta reservation, but, we want to eat here." she let her southern drawl flow through her words. The lady looked startled before she composed herself.
"I'm sorry, I can't do that," she gazed at Rose, who lifted up and leaned back against Seth—allowing him to wrap his arms around her and smiled at the lady. Her eyes—they were green—widened as she got an eye full of MacFarlane and Green.
"Oh...Mr. MacFarlane, Mr. Green I-uh-I'm sorry. Would you like a table?"
Before the men could answer, Rose and Mari spoke up.
"No, carpet for six please!" they beamed at each other and high fived.
Seth MacFarlane shook his head, "Yes, a table please. We would like one back and away from the crowd. We are conducting an interview and would like privacy." MacFarlane sounded way to mature. Rose looked up at her husband and raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, what he said." Seth Green smiled. That caused the girls to laugh loudly and make the hostess jumped backwards.
"Um- follow me," she grabbed six menus and marched off towards the back of the restaurant. The group followed.

Once seated, Green and Mari on the left side, Rose and MacFarlane on the right. The interviewer sat at the head of table nearest to where they entered. The camera on the other end, already starting to set everything up. Rose ordered everyone something to drink. Wine for the Seths and Dr. Pepper ("but, ma'am we don't-" "get it!") for her and Mari.
The interviewer was both shocked and amazed by the group. They were everything you'd expect them to be and a little bit more. Rose was a very open and loud personality, very much like MacFarlane himself. Mari was more timid yet loud and proud when she wanted to be, just like Green. They matched perfectly yet you could see the major differences. Rose hated when you were to mean, or couldn't hold your tongue. She distasted alcohol, yet was not afraid to drink it when her husband drank some. Mari was kind and nice, intimidated a little to easily by loud personalities. Which caused Rose to become very protective over her. Green continued to stroke her arm carefully and made sure not to make his touches inappropriate. MacFarlane and Rose on the other hand went all out with their touches.
"So, Mrs. MacFarlane-"
"Rose, please-"
"Yes, Rose, we were wondering how exactly you an Seth met. Surely it was a good while ago; seeing how long your guys paths have been crossed." The interviewer, her name was Anne, was straight and to the point. Not wasting anytime in her questioning and her process while doing it. She caught Rose's deep blue eye and felt a smile on her lips. Rose looked happy and proud, which meant she was going to tell you whatever you wanted to hear.
"Fun question, I love that question. Funny enough, me and Sir Filterless over her met while I was a senior and college..."

(((((((((((:::11 years ago:::))))))))))

I leaned back against the stairs of the stage, my pen flipping between my fingers. I had to finish my skit for the performance portion of the theatre festival and my mind felt full to the brim.
"If it explodes, Garrett will kill me for getting brain matter all over the stage." Garrett was the "director" of the festival; he was a total ass but his creative mind was like heaven. I didn't like being his mind very long. I stopped flipping my pen and stated down at the half- finished dialogue in my lap. Words, words wonderful words. Ok, I'm losing it.
"Come on Jeeson, think, think!"
"If you think to hard you'll break something."

"ahhhhh!" I jumped up and lifted my left leg up to my chest, my arms whipping out in front of me. A man with dark near black hair and a goofy smile was standing at the top of the stage. He was in a blue button down shirt and blue jeans, a pair of black and blue skechers on his feet. Funny, he doesn't look like a skechers kind of guy. I looked up at him directly and saw his eyes, deep chocolate brown eyes. Suddenly i hit me who this was and I felt embarrassed by my stance. Dropping my arms and legs I looked for my unfinished skit.
"Behind you," he said and pointed.
"Uh...thank you...Seth MacFarlane," turning around i picked up the papers. My heart was stuttering and I swore my stomach was some where in southern Africa.
"Are you a writer, or a drawer?" He asked, stepping down from the stage to stand in front of me. I looked at the scribbled words and felt way to self conscious for my own good.
"A writer. I'm- uh- writing one of the skits for the performance section." he looked at the papers and held out his hand.
"may I?" oh God! Oh God!
"uh-"
"You don't have to let me, I was just curious. Judging by your ninja skills that you just pulled out; you seem like a creative women." his town turned very flirty and I raised a brow at him.
"Ninja skills? Dude, that was more like ancient pimp shiz." he laughed loudly and smiled more brightly at me.
"Oh, what is your name and where can I get more of you?" he stepped closer to me.
"Rose Jeeson, I'm a student here at UCLA,"

"Is that actually how it happened?" Anne's thin brow raised incredulously.
Rose and MacFarlane exchanged a sly look, "Well, of course." Seth smiled.
"What about you Mari?" Mari's chocolate eyes floated to the interviewer's face. A gentle smile spread across her lips as she measured the look of polite interest on the woman's face. "When did you meet your own husband?"
"Well, for me to answer that, I'd have to tell you how I met tall, dark, and MacFarlane over there." Mari answered.
"Go ahead." The interviewer allowed.
"It was about two months after Seth and Rose had met…" Mari began.

(((((((((((:::11 years ago:::))))))))))

The art academy I was attending in Oregon was on spring break, and I hadn't seen Rose in a while. So, I decided to go stay with her during the break…
I walked up to the to the blonde I called my soul sister, my sketch book clutched in my hands. She didn't see me coming, and I knew it. She and I had a habit of scaring the crap out of each other if the other wasn't paying attention, and so I did.
She jumped about ten feet in the air, a squeal of surprise leaping from her mouth, "I swear to God MacFarlane—" I raised an eyebrow as she whipped around to face me, a smug curiosity lighting in me.
"MacFarlane?" A smirk flittered across my lips.
"Mari!" She squealed, her normally wide and goofy grin plastered on her face. Her long arms wrapped around me, embracing me into an excited hug. She pulled back and gave me a falsely seductive look, "Well hello there sexy…come here often?"
I couldn't help the wide, warming grin that spread across my face. "I dunno, but you—darling—are quite the sexy beast aren't ya?" My very soft southern accent gently touched my words.
"Excuse me, but your assistance is needed miss Jeeson." There was almost a joking politeness to his voice.
I glanced behind Rose as irritation began to creep into her expression. A tall, dark haired man with twinkling brown eyes was smiling goofily as he strut forward. It was none other than the dark one himself, Seth MacFarlane.

"Wait!" Anne chuckled, "What did you call him?"
"The dark one?" MacFarlane raised an eyebrow, a smile pulling up his lips.
"Shut up! This is my story!" Mari pointed a finger at him, her petite form seeming about as menacing as a mother tiger.
MacFarlane put his hands up in a surrendering position, "Alright, alright…"
"Now, back to what I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted." She snapped glaring playfully at her best friend's husband across the table.

He walked up to us, a strangely confident air floating around him. I could feel his confidence filling me as Rose turned to him.
"What do you want?" She muttered casually. Did she really just talk to Seth MacFarlane like a long time friend!? What…?
"I was going to tell you that we need your help planning the spring festival tomorrow," He started, "but I see you are busy entertaining your…" He paused a moment, stifling laughter, "little friend…"
The corners of my lips fell into an irritable frown, "I am not short! I am fun sized!" I shouted. Rose snickered beside me.
"Oh—your a fiery little one aren't you…" He smirked.
"You know what, screw you. I don't like you anymore." I grumbled, crossing my arms and turning away, childishly clutching my leather sketch book to my chest.

"You draw?" His head tilted, sincere curiosity swimming in his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm not half bad at it–"
My sketchbook was ripped out of my hands, "Not half bad!? Do I have to use my ninja skills to whoop yo ass?" Rose thrust the soft cream, leather bound book at Seth.
He looked the cover before glancing up at me, "Do you mind?"
I waved my hand for him to continue absentmindedly, not bothering to realize that Seth Mac-freaking-Farlane was looking at my sketches. Rose gave me a smug pursed-lipped look as he flipped through the pages.
"These are really good," He nodded his head, an impressed look in his deep chocolate eyes, "Have you thought of going into cartooning business?"
"Actually, I'm majoring in animation and minoring in graphic design up at the art academy in Oregon." An impressed look crossed his face as he pulled out a card.
"Well, if you are ever interested in maybe an internship just to get your feet wet, give me a call." I couldn't help the gasp that rang from between my lips as Seth MacFarlane handed me his business card.

The interviewer nodded, "Alright, so how does that lead to your meeting with your husband?"
"Well, that was our senior year of college. And about four years—I think—after we met, he asked us to co-star on Family Guy, and that's where I met my man." She turned to Seth and brushed her lips across his. "Rose, you remember when we first met my hubby right?"
"Yup." Rose popped the 'p' and looked up at her.

(((((((((((:::7 years ago:::))))))))))

Mari and I were being lazy as hell an lounging on our couch. We had finished filming about three hours ago for our reality t.v show. Neither of us knew what we wanted to do and neither of us could decide what to listen to, so we settle for sprawling lazily on the couch.
"Dude, for people who have NO free time- we HAVE to much free time," I grumbled into the pillow on my face.
"Are you trying to suffocate yourself?" Mari inquired while ripping the pillow off of my face. She gave me a raised eyebrow and leaned back against the couches arm rest. Her arm folding across Sasuke's face (that was who was on her shirt) and threw her chestnut hair back with a twist of her head.
"No-yes-maybe; I don't know! I haven't been bored in three years and I realize why I hated it. I hate being bored because being bored is boring," I pouted. Mari looked at me once more before doing a backwards flip of the arm of the couch. (If I would have done that, something would have broken!) I looked at he once before just, normally, standing up and off of the couch.
"Lets go do something, something fun." she grabbed my hand and ,while nearly pulling my arm from its socket, pulled me towards the hallway leading to the front door. I stumbled along behind with on half of my usual enthusiasm.

"I did not almost pull your arm from its socket!" Mari threw her napkin at her best friend. Rose batted it away and threw hers right back.
"Shut up, I'm talking!"

I stopped halfway to the door because I noticed my phone was lit up on the side table. I will admit, i was half tempted to just walk away from it. Until it rang again.
"Hold on," I grabbed it and answered it while waving off Mari's sneer, "Hello?"

"Rose! Hey it's me, I gotta ask you something," My mouth fell open at the voice on the other in the phone. I hadn't heard from that voice in nearly two years, give or take a few months.
"Seth...MacFarlane?"
"That my name, moan it loud." I rolled my eyes at him and turned back towards the living room.
"Hi Seth, what do ya want to talk about?" Walking through the living and making my way to the stairs leading up to my room.
"Actually I want to talk to you and Mari. We need two guest stars on Family Guy and we know you guys are big.."
"Awe Seth are you asking us to be on your show?" I feigned a flirty tone and batted my eyes at the air around me. Sitting down on the bottom stair I watched Mari walk up to me. A big question mark floating above her head. I gave her the one minute sign and waited for Seth to answer.
"Not just you, I asked the might midget-corn too-"
"Telling her you said that!"
"Pfft, like I care...don't tell her. Look are you guys in to it or what? You get you, her and Rick can fly out to L.A tomorrow and come by the studio. We'll have everything set up and we'll have a meeting explaining the episodes and everything. We just need the confirmation by ten tonight and a flight time." I stayed slightly for a few seconds and looked at the floor.

"What is he asking?" Mari gave me yet another question mark look. I put the phone to my chest and smiled at her.
"He asked if we want to star on Family Guy, yes or no?" her mouth fell open and I wondered when the hell me and he'd switched places. She nodded wildly before jumping up and down excitedly and clapped her hands together.
"Sooo-no!"
"Yes! Tell him yes!" I put the phone to my ear again and made sure Seth was still on the other end.
"So?"
"Count us in Dr. Scotch."

MacFarlane pulled Rose into a kiss and let it linger until Anne coughed softly. He let her go while smiling proudly.
"We booked a flight an hour, late called Rick, and was off for L.A. In the morning." Rose and MacFarlane continued to gaze at each other while Anne looked at Green and Mari.
"So now how did you meet, exactly."

((((((((((((7 years ago)))))))))))

It was a warm summer's eve—

Rose reached across the table and smacked Mari, "What!?"
"Stop being stupid!"
"It my story, I'll tell it how I want." Mari chimed smugly, "Got a problem with it? Well you can suck it."

It was a warm summer's eve—

"It wasn't even summer. It was february." Rose complained.
"Fine!"

It was warm summer's eve in the middle of february, and we were blossoming in fields of butterflies and rainbows—

"Mari!"
"Fine!" Mari grumbled, "I'll tell the LAME story…" For the first time, Seth Green was staring at his wife like she was insane.

It was actually warm…but we were in California after all… ANYWAYS…

Rose and I looked up at the tall building where we were supposed to meet Sargent Filterless. I wasn't going to be too afraid to admit that I was rather intimidated. The tall, practically glass building where the magic—if you could call it magic—of Family Guy was made.
I took a deep breath and let Rose go first—or, well, I shoved her ahead of me—with Rick trailing behind us. He gave us that motherly look of "wtf", but by now he'd learned to laugh it off and that it was better not to ask questions. Or people would get hurt…

"Very hurt." The Seth duo muttered in mock grimness.

Anyways…

When we entered, we were greeted by Captain Booze himself. "Welcome to the lair ladies, wanna prowl the yard? Tour the accommodations, wink, wink…"
Rose smacked his arm while I laughed, "No!" She scorned, a playful grimace on her face.
"Well, why don't I show you where the magic happens…?" He rubbed his hands together as his eyes scanned Rick. "So you're Rick…I've never gotten the chance to actually meet you, but I've heard many good things about you."
"Indeed." His monotone was blank and speculative.
"Uh…So well…it's nice to meet you…?" Seth stood there almost awkwardly. The entire room seemingly went silent as Rick stared him down.
There was a sudden, "Bah!" and colonel smart ass jumped back and let out a—surprisingly manly—squeal. Rose and I doubled over in laughter, both of us leaning on each other for support.
"Man~" Rose sighed, wiping away a tear of laughter, "you are such a wuss…"

"Bah!" This time, Seth had scared the hell out of Rose, who—I swear—jumped ten feet in the air and screamed like she was being attacked. I bust out laughing even harder than before. My stomach hurt as I groped the stitches in my peach colored dress.
"You're not so bad kid…" Rick held out his hand, a gesture that clearly intimidated the perverted wonder. "Don't be afraid, I just had to make sure you weren't a creep. I'm keeping what's best for my girls as my priority." MacFarlane nodded in agreement and understanding as he took Rick's hand. "But—just a warning—I don't care if you're famous. If you screw my girls over, I will chop your balls off and mail them to you in a cooler."

Anne's eyebrows rose, "Did he actually say that?"
"His british accent just made it that much more intimidating…" MacFarlane muttered as though he'd been traumatized.

Mr. Family Guy himself led us up in the elevator and took us to a room where a long meeting table sat in the center with chairs all around. The table was mostly empty, except for the four of us.

"Mari, would you like me to show you some of the storyboard art?" MacFarlane asked me.
I leaped into the air out of excitement and pranced—yes, I literally pranced—to his side. He walked into the next room and pulled out a large sketchbook. He spread it over the end of the table, and all I could see we're sketches pertaining to—not only Family Guy—but ideas that hadn't been realized.
I didn't even notice when my future husband walked into the room.

"Oh," He exclaimed, "Didn't know anyone was in here."
I barely heard Rose squeal, "Oz!?" Then gibberish…then, "Omigosh! We would love to have you on our show!"
MacFarlane glanced up from what he was showing me, "What about me?"
"We'll talk about it later." I muttered, brushing it off. No—I still hadn't noticed my love-to-be talking to a giddy Rose.
"Well, we'll have to arrange that." He laughed, "I love your show. You guys are hilarious!" At that I finally lifted my head to see the ginger hair and pretty blue eyes. Of course—though I was absolutely obssessed with Seth Green at that time—I was in a happy relationship at that time—

"I fucking hated that penis worshiping douche ass…" Rose spat, "Still do…"
"Rose…" Mari muttered.
"Just continue…" She grumbled.
"Think you can tell it better!?" Mari challenged.
"As a matter of fact, I do." Rose stated pompously.

I had Green in a freaking death hug- probably not that deathly but pretty deathly- while he smiled at Mari. I noticed their eyes held each other longer then they should have. Looking at my best friend then at the One inch-hero captured in my death grip; I grinned.
"Seth Green, this is Mari Arbor, I is Rose Jeeson and you are amazing!" I finally released him an held out my hand. Not caring that his eyes never strayed from Mari.
"I'm aware, like I said, you guys are hilarious." He finally looked at me with a smile. Thats when a hand grabbed my elbow and pulled me back. Looking up at MacFarlane I gave him a raised eyebrow. He had a tight smile that reached his eyes but made him look...jealous...

"I was not jealous!" MacFarlane yelled his innocence. Rose rolled her eyes at her husband and pursed her lips.
"Dude, you so were," she fought back.
"Was not!"
Green looked at his friend and co worker and laughed, "You gave me a death smile, like somehow I would make Rose my captive by shaking her hand-"
"Shut up!" MacFarlane stopped the mighty red midget. Causing Rose to be extremely proud of her husband.
"I'm continuing-"

We ended up spending at least two hours going over everything we would do for the episode. They gave us scripts and showed us possible drawing of what our characters would look. Mine looked way to freaking awesome to be normal, so of course I fist pumped the air!
"We are so in, like, unbelievably in!" i was practically dancing in my seat. Rick gave me a knowing look and shook his head, Mari was to busy staring at Green and Seth gave me the biggest "Hellz yeah" smile I've ever seen, "But- there is a condition." I grinned. Rick smiled and crossed his hands behind his head and leaned back in the chair.
"Name it," MacFarlane inquired.
"You and You," I pointed at Green,"Have to star on OUR show," I crossed my arms and tried my damnedest not to giggle and dance. Seth and Seth looked at each other then at the other producers of the show. MacFarlane gave Green a quick nod before looking back at me," Deal."
"YES!' I hugged Seth right and kissed his cheek.

"You kissed his cheek? You two weren't together then were you?" Anne asked with a puzzled look on her face. Rose shook her head and took a bite of her spaghetti.
"Nein, but it's not like we hadn't already had sex and ooh shit-" Mari gave Rose the biggest bug eyed look in the world. He mouth hanging open and her bread fell to the plate.
"When the hell did you two have sex...before Family Guy...what?" Rose dodged the flying butter roll that was aimed at her head and held up her hands.
"Mari, look I'll explain later...promise, continuing now-"

Green and Mari really hit it off, so I was as sad as a fat kid during lent, when I found out he was with this chick named Claire. It didn't help that Mari was all; "I'm in love with Nathaniel and we've been together since high school blah, blah, blah" he was a dick biting, ass raping retard who couldn't tell his butt from a hole in the ground."

"Rose!"
"Not sorry!" Rose yelled back and took a more aggressive bite of her food. Anne looked between the two girls and smiled. MacFarlane's song Best Friend suddenly came to her mind.
"So that was how we met these two lovely fucktards," Rose kissed MacFarlane and Anne's mouth fell open. Apparently only her and her camera man, James, we're baffled by the their use of insults amongst each other. Suddenly a thought struck her and she asked it immediately, "When did you meet Rick?" she asked. Rose was still snogging away so she looked at Mari.
"I met him about a year after Rose did,"

(((((((((((( 13 years ago))))))))))

I was siting in my apartment typing my Van Gogh research paper on my laptop, leaning lazily against the arm of my couch.

"Wasn't he the dude that cut off his ear?" Rose laughed.
"It was his earlobe," Mari corrected, "Now shut up. You're ruining the story."

I was only in my sophomore year of college, and I was on my Christmas break. Despite that, my art history teacher still felt the need to assign an essay on a classical artist.
Rose was supposed to show up anytime within in the next day or two. She said that she'd come visit me over the break—like I would come to visit her during my spring break two years later—so, while I tried I wrap my mind around Van Gogh's personal life well enough to craft it into over one thousand words, I patiently awaited her arrival.
She'd told me that she had met someone who was interested in her writing and the fact that she wanted to become a producer. She told me that he was interested in my art as well, so she was going to introduce him to me. So, of course, I accepted it and I told her to bring him up.
I was just about to put the finishing touches on my essay when there was a quiet, yet sharp knocking at the door. "One sec–" I called out, shutting my laptop. I placed it on my wooden side table, smoothing out my pure white summer dress over my leggings. There was another knock, "I'm coming!" I sighed.
I pulled the door open to see golden blonde hair make a quick movement as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. She struck a seductive pose, popping her hips out as she gave me a falsely seductive look–

"Did it turn you on?" Rose turned to Mari.
"Oh yeah…" Mari rolled her eyes.

"Rose!" I didn't expect her so soon.
"I want you to meet Rick," She stepped aside and motioned to a handsome man, who could easily pass for his thirties—though I suspected, that with his greying hair, he was slightly older. He was one of the most handsome—and tall—guys I had ever seen, stubble covering his squared jaw and his face kind as he smiled politely at me.
"It has been a pleasure finally meeting you Mari," His British accent made me squeak—still does sometimes, like when I haven't heard him talk for a while, "I have heard many great things about you. Rosema—"
"Rose please." Rose amended.
"Yes, Rose has spoken highly of you." I felt a blush creep across my cheeks as I turned a raised eyebrow on Rose.
"You spoke highly of me?" I said, "I didn't know you could speak highly of anyone…"

"She speaks highly of me in bed all the time." Lord Pervert smirked.
"If you people don't stop interrupting my story, I'm going to murder all of you with a spoon." Mari warned menacingly soft.

Rose pursed her lips and rolled her eyes, "Well why don't the two of you come in?" I opened my door enough to allow them through and ushered them to my couch. "Welcome to my humble abode." I muttered dramatically.
Rose—just like she always did—plopped down and made herself at home, sprawling lazily over her love seat sitting adjacent to the couch. Rick sat on the couch, his posture as straight as that of a gentleman from the 1700s.
"So, why don't we cut to the chase?" Rick started. Blunt and to the point…that is probably one of the best ways to describe him. I stood there, sort of timidly as he began again, "Rose has told me of your plans to host your own reality talk show."
"Oh! That, yes…" I trailed off.
"She tells me you are quite the accomplished artist as well," He smiled at me cooly.
"I didn't say that. I said her badonkadonk is hella badass when she is workin' with her hands." Rose smiled slyly.

"Did she actually say it like that?" Anne turned to Rose, who simply nodded, a proud look on her face.

"I know, I was just translating." Rick muttered

"Oh, good times…" Mari sighed, "After that, he helped Rose and I make our reality tv show a reality."
Anne's eyes shone in sly interest as she eyed Mari, "So, I heard Rose mention something about a high school sweetheart…tell us a little about that."
Mari glanced at Rose sheepishly, "That's a long story."
Anne glanced around, "We have time."
Rose glared of into the distance, "If you want the truth, I should tell how he really was–"
"He wasn't that—"
"No!" Rose snapped, "My turn."

I couldn't stand his Mother livin' ass, he was pointless, worthless and I wish he never existed. (Yes, I went there.) You see, Nathaniel was this stuck up, snobby man who thought the sun rose and set in his ass. Mari was this sweetly, shy women who when she fell in love; she stayed in love. It never really made sense, them being together. They were like two magnetic forces that couldn't connect, only deflect. I wish, with every piece of me, that he never looked at her that day Sophmore year. God, I remember the first time I saw them kiss...EW

We were invited to a sort of friends birthday/Halloween party. I was going as a sexy Iron Man (Iron Babe) and Mari went as a cat, not a sexy car, but I thought she was...

"Did you just admit you like pussy?" MacFarlane looked at his wife with a sideways glance. Rose smiled proudly and licked his nose.
"Only Mari's,"
"Damn straight."

We met Nathaniel at the party, the dick loving, ass munch was dressed as Hulk Hogan. It was not a look that fit on a man like him, but the ego was the right size. The party was boring and he wouldn't leave us alone. "I want to stay with my baby, blah, blah, blah–"

"He does not sound like that!" Mari glowered at Rose and for the first time that night, a buttered roll was thrown at Rose's head. Rose caught it in her mouth and chewed it down before commenting on her best friends words.
"Like what?"
"Like, a midget on helium-"
"You would know what that sounds like-" This time Mari threw her napkin at her.

We were sitting on the couch in our sort of friends living room. Nathaniel and Mari sat on my right side, all cuddled against each other. Granted, I looked sort of cute, but it was still uck. I wanted to sit down in the middle of them and claim dominance over my midget. That fucktard-o did not deserves to snuggle with my little sister.
"Rose!" I heard an unknown voice yell my name. Turning around to find the owner of the disembodied voice, I saw nothing. When i turned around, I was feasted with a full force of Mari and Nathaniel porn-o. All nine yards of nasty, nastiness.

Mari sneered at her friend, "We were NOT that bad!" she defended herself.
"You're right, you and fire hazard over there are worse," she slapped MacFarlane's hand away from her thigh. Her and Mari stared each other down, Rose with a large smile and Mari with a sneer. Anna looked between the two of them and tried her best to fight back a smile.
"I don't think we are that bad," Mari started to defend herself as MacFarlane leaned into his wife's ear and whispered that, "they made porn look tame,"
"So...how did you and Nathaniel meet, exactly."

We finally typed this shiz... Yis. Enjoy it ;3
Part Two shall be up when we finish it. Yes. The interruptions are important, so if they throw off the flow of the story too much for you, DON'T READ IT! Thank you, come again.