Disclaimer: Anything having to do with or belonging to Hana Kimi is not mine. This is a general cover statement. I will not make it again.

A/N: I just recently started re-reading all the Hana Kimi manga and so of course my brain immediately started cooking up new ideas. This one has always been kinda sitting in the back of my mind. Thankfully it caught some inspiration and formed into a real story. I don't claim to have any real plot to this story. It's just a shameless smut and love story. For some reason, these seem to be the only ones I can finish lately. Maybe, because writing smut is great stress relief for me. So if you're looking for something fun to read with out to much brain struggle in following a complicated plot: this is it. Enjoy. And as always please leave some feedback.

P.S.- This story begins right after the point in the manga where Shizuki gets kissed by Umeda.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

By: MyDirtyLittleSecret

Now I was sitting waiting wishing
That you believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you

-Jack Johnson

Chapter One

Shizuki rubbed his eyes and shifted on his barstool. It had been the last day of his doctor conference in Japan. He was actually glad it was over. Usually, he enjoyed these kinds of functions, because he got to travel all over the world for them. However, after all the mess with his sister and other more disturbing events his interest in the conference had been lost. He had done his best to pay attention to the lectures and discussions, but despite his best efforts he just couldn't concentrate. His mind was miles away on a homo doctor, Umeda, who had kissed him earlier that morning. He broke out in shivers all over again just thinking about it. The more he thought about it the worse his reaction got. God, what the fuck? Why had that asshole kissed him? Who the hell just does that? Despite what these Japanese thought of Americans, they didn't run around kissing each other every time they got the urge or for a greeting. Why'd they get Americans mixed up with the French?

These horrifying thoughts had driven him to drink. As soon as the conference was over he had found the nearest bar to his hotel. He had taken up his position at the bar about an hour ago. So far he'd gone through two beers, with no end in sight and no plans to leave until he was to drunk to walk. He took another drag off the cigarette dangling between his fingers then downed another swig of beer. He was not a regular smoker by nature. He was a social smoker, which meant he usually killed almost a pack when at parties, bars, or any other place where there was a large enough group of people to entice the urge. He was thankful no one was hitting on him for once. Apparently, his sullen look and stand offish attitude was doing the trick in keeping people away from him. He didn't like to be bothered when he was drowning his thoughts in alcohol. It ruined his concentration. He was so focused on his thoughts and his drink that he failed to notice his newest antagonist enter the bar. He did however get a sudden chill down his spin. He should have gotten the clue from that.

Umeda pulled his hands out of his pockets before shrugging off his coat as he stepped further into the dimly light bar. He took a deep breath, enjoying the thick scent of cigarette smoke. He loved this bar. It was swanky and unique, but most of all it was where he met up with Ryoichi–and he loved any place where that happened. He glanced around, as he draped his coat over his arm, looking for the darkly handsome man that was both his bane and his best friend. He wasn't surprised when he didn't see him. Ryoichi was always late, or on many occasions, choose not to show up at all. Arrogant bastard.

He stopped mid-stride when he caught sight of a blond man hunched over the bar. He smirked. "I'll be damned," he murmured, taking in the exotic American. Shizuki Ashiya. He wasn't sure whether to laugh at the irony of finding him here or not. He quirked up an eyebrow in surprise when he saw the blond take a drag from a smoldering cigarette. He would have never suspected such an uptight, know it all to smoke. People like that usually frowned heavily on such an addicting, disgusting habit. His smirk widened into an evil grin. He couldn't resist the urge to go harass the blond more. It wasn't like there was anything else to do until Ryoichi arrived.

He sauntered over, to stand just beside Shizuki's elbow, just a little to close for comfort. And he waited. He didn't have to wait long for a reaction.

Shizuki felt, more than saw, the presence that had suddenly appeared by his arm. Before he could even look up, he began to break out in shivers. He had an ugly premonition that he knew exactly who was standing beside him. He looked up with a scowl already fixed on his face.

"Hello, Ashiya-san!"

Shizuki yelped as a face suddenly leaned down close to his faster than he could get away. "You!" he gasped in shock, nearly falling off his seat.

Umeda grinned in amusement, rocking back on his heels and giving Shizuki his personal space back. To hard to resist irritating, he thought. "Yes, me. Is this seat taken?" He was already sitting before Shizuki could even open his mouth. He dug in his coat to find his cigarettes. A moment later, he had the pack in his hands and was shaking one out. He signaled for the bartender as he placed the nicotine stick between his lips, then lighted up.

"What the hell?" Shizuki barked. "Go sit somewhere else!"

Umeda glanced over at him as he took his first hit off the cigarette. He smirked. "I'm comfortable right here. Besides, you looked lonely." He smiled charmingly at the bartender. The bartender smiled back knowingly. He was a guy Umeda had already fucked a few times on a whim. "My usual," he ordered.

"Of course, Umeda-san," the bartender replied, giving him a lingering look.

Shizuki glared at the doctor sullenly. Why the hell was this guy in here? Apparently, he was familiar enough with the staff. He thought he was far enough away from the high school so that he wouldn't have to worry about ever seeing this guy again. He certainly didn't want any repeats of that kiss. He didn't want to be anywhere near this homo. Why the fuck couldn't he go away? It was because of him, that Shizuki was even in here to begin with. He grabbed his glass of beer and downed half of it as he remembered that last bit.

"Something bothering you?" Umeda asked, curiously as he watched the American down his beer.

"Yeah, you. Go away," Shizuki snapped rudely.

Umeda gestured expansively. "It's a bar, Shizuki-kun. I'm welcome to sit where ever I want to. If you don't wanna sit with me then feel free to move."

"I was here first!" the blond pointed out. Something about this guy made him act like a childish asshole. He hated it.

The older man shrugged and accepted his mixed drink from the bartender. He downed it in an instant then ordered another. He tapped off the ash on his cigarette before taking another drag. He looked perfectly content where he was. He had no intentions of moving. Shizuki gritted his teeth.

"Why'd you kiss me?" Shizuki finally burst out. He don't know why he asked it. He didn't really wanna know the answer. The beer must be getting to him faster than he thought.

Umeda smirked like he'd been waiting for that question. "Just to piss you off." He wrapped his hand around the glass that had just been pushed his way.

"Oh."

The older man laughed. The ice in his glass rattled as he lifted it, like it to was mocking Shizuki. "You almost sound disappointed. Did I get you over your homophobia?" He leaned in close, expression taking on a pretend seductive glance.

Shizuki swallowed hard and jerked away. He nearly tipped off the stool in his haste. That was the second time he'd nearly been dumped off his seat. "N-No!" Those beautiful eyes seemed to see right through him. Shizuki grabbed at the edge of the bar to hold himself up.

Umeda stayed where he was for a moment before settling back on his seat. "I lied you know."

The blond blinked in confusion. "What?"

"You are my type. Your looks anyways. I like pretty boys." Umeda smiled teasingly. Clearly, the alcohol was starting to get to him too.

"You still hate my personality?" Shizuki didn't know why he cared or even asked, but the question was out of his mouth before he could think to stop it. Damned alcohol. He should call it quits and get out of here before his mouth ran away with his brain any further.

"Yes. I don't like 'holier than thou' type guys who think their ideas are always the right ones," the older man stated frankly, before sipping at his drink.

Shizuki flushed angrily. "I don't act–."

"Yes, you do," Umeda cut him off before he could finish.

"I was only trying to protect my sister!" the blond snapped, scowling at the other man.

The older man waved away his remark. "By being an overbearing prick. There were better ways to handle that whole scenario."

Shizuki was quiet for a moment. He had to concede the point. He wasn't about to admit that to this asshole though. He decided a change of topic would be better in order to save his pride. "So why are you in here?"

"Waiting for my best friend, who regularly blows me off for no fucking reason," Umeda replied somewhat bitterly.

"Why would he do that?" the blond asked curiously.

Umeda sighed. "Just to upset me. He knows I'm in love with him and it makes him nervous." The older man smiled sadly. "Yet, I haven't given up on the bastard." Why the hell was he telling this stuck up American such personal information?

"Is that why you sympathize with Mizuki?"

"That has nothing to do with it." The doctor said curtly. He was irritated at himself for letting to much slip already.

Shizuki smirked. "Right." It had everything to do with it. "So what's the name of this guy you like?" He grimaced after saying it like that. Ugh gays!

"Why do you care?" Umeda gave a leery sideways look.

"Curiosity."

"His name is–," they both looked up as a tall, darkly handsome man stopped by Umeda's elbow. "Ryoichi."

The man nodded. "Hokuto."

"You're very late," the doctor scowled.

"You seem like you found decent company to pass the time. I'll just go." Ryoichi shrugged indifferently. Shizuki nearly flinched when those deep, dark eyes passed over him scrutinizing. He could have sworn he felt the temperature drop a few degrees from that look.

"No!" Umeda snagged his friend's coat sleeve as he turned away. "Shizuki is the brother of an exchange student at Osaka. He's here for a conference. I was chatting with him while I waited."

Shizuki could already tell the guy was a jerk. Ryoichi seemed to be contemplating whether to leave anyways, just because. Apparently, even gays were attracted to asshole guys too. How ironic. "I'm Ashiya Shizuki from California." He introduced himself crisply. He was pleased by the surprise he saw in those eyes at his fluent use of Japanese. "I was just about to leave. I have an early morning tomorrow."

"Alright," Umeda looked relieved. "Thanks for sitting with me." Ryoichi sat down on Umeda's opposite side. He glanced suspiciously at Shizuki once more before ordering a drink and lighting his own cigarette. He studiously ignored the blond after that.

Shizuki resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Really? What had the guy ever done to earn such love from Umeda. Why the hell did he care anyways?

///////////

Shizuki eyed the doctor nervously as Umeda helped him down the hall to his hotel room. He really shouldn't have had so much to drink. His nerves had not calmed down despite trying to drown them in alcohol. He didn't know why he hadn't just run out as soon as Umeda came into the bar. His gaydar had kicked in hard soon as the man walked in, but over that had been the gut wrenching remembering of the earlier kiss. He hadn't been able to escape before Umeda trapped him with those gorgeous amber eyes that seemed to dissect him. Drunkenly, he could admit those eyes were bewitching. They was so piercing in a way that had kept him pinned in his seat. Even after meeting, Ryoichi (whom he still thought was a sullen and reticent asshole) with Umeda's attention drawn away he hadn't left. It was almost fascinating to watch the interplay between the clearly infatuated Umeda and the obviously straight Ryoichi. In this manner, what had been only one more drink had become several, until he had accidentally drunk himself into near stupor. He had been both a part of their little ritual meeting as well as an outsider. The interaction, though interesting, had only grated on his nerves worse than ever. He couldn't wait to get out of there, but he hadn't left. By the end of the night he was so intoxicated he could barely keep his feet under him. Somehow, Umeda had talked his way into helping Shizuki back to his hotel room after Ryoichi had left. The prospect of which made his guts twist in anxiety and his heart seem to jump into his throat. He had tried to brush Umeda aside, but after being saved from face planting thanks to the doctor, he couldn't refuse the help.

So now, here he was with one arm wrapped around the surprisingly strong shoulders of Umeda, while the doctor steadied him with an arm around his waist. Although the contact was casual and merely helpful it made Shizuki's skin hot and cold by turns where they touched. It seemed like a long time before they stood in front of Shizuki's hotel room door. Umeda held him steady while he hunted shakily for his elusive key card. He found it and after a third attempt managed to get the door open. Soon as the door opened, Umeda let go of him before taking a step away. Shizuki half turned to face him.

"Well, uh...thank you," he managed to say, somehow feeling uneasy. The scenario was way to reminiscent of when he would drop off girlfriends at the end of a date. There had been the exchange of pleasantries and then the good night kiss before they parted ways. Which brought his thoughts back around full circle to that kiss earlier in the morning. Dammit!

Umeda grinned as he sensed the direction Shizuki's thoughts had taken. The boy was transparent. He was only a few years younger than Umeda, but to him he seemed like only a boy. He had not quite grown up all the way yet. His irrational fear of Umeda confirmed it. His attitude made the doctor want to tease him relentlessly.

"Relax. I wasn't planning on accosting you," Umeda's smile widened. "If this were a date I'd have you inside already with hopefully your pants off." Shizuki flushed, a horrified look stealing across his pretty features, as he shrank back against the door. Umeda laughed before settling down once more. "You're welcome," he finally said.

"Right...well, good night," Shizuki said, struggling to be polite through his alcohol related fuzziness and nervousness. Umeda's teasing had twisted his insides into knots once more-- just when it was beginning to unwind a little. He began to back into his room slowly like he was a small animal trying to hide from the hunting tiger.

Umeda reached out impulsively and grabbed his wrist. Before Shizuki could get his drunk laden limbs to resist, the doctor had pulled him back forward. The blond could see what was about to happen and froze. He later wondered if it had been out of fear or the very buried sense of wanting that kept him from running away. Umeda's mouth captured his again in a quick strike. Shizuki went completely rigid with shock. His sluggish brain screeched to a halt as the doctor's mouth settled over his. Then his brain kicked back in with a lurch; only it seemed to be recording the wrong information. It taking in things like how impossibly soft and warm those lips felt against his own or how those brown flecks enriched the deep gold of Umeda's eyes. His own eyes widened comically as he tried to jerk away. Umeda moved with him and caught his jaw in a long fingered grip. Umeda tilted the blond's chin firmly upward to deepen the kiss. His other hand found Shizuki's hip and tugged him in to fit tightly against his body.

A shudder swept through Shizuki, making his hair stand on end and skin break out in goosebumps. To his utter dismay his body began to respond positively to these advances. Obviously, the alcohol had confused it into not caring about the exact gender of the person touching him. A bolt of molten heat swept through him leaving him weak kneed and his cock growing hard. The flush grew brighter on his cheeks. He slowly began to slid down the door since his legs refused to no longer hold him. He probably would have fallen if he wasn't being held up by Umeda.

Umeda felt the blond's dick growing hard against his with surprise. He let go abruptly. He stepped back quickly as though he'd been burned. The two eyed each other in equal measures of surprise, unexpected lust, and awkwardness.

"Well good night," Umeda recovered first, smiling disarmingly, as he stamped down the strong lust that had sprung out of what had only been meant as a teasing joke.

Shizuki's hand groped for he door knob, wrenched it further open, and disappeared inside quickly. The door slammed shut behind him. Umeda turned away just as fast and hurried down the hall. Somewhere, a security guard witnessed the whole strange exchange as though it were a soap opera in reality and smiled knowingly at the two young men.

///////////

Shizuki stood with his back pressed against the hotel door. His breath rasped in his throat as he pressed one trembling hand against his lips. His whole body began to shake in delayed reaction. "Oh God. Oh fuck," he whimpered as his stomach flipped over. His mind was stuck in a rut, fixated on every detail of that kiss. "Oh fuck," he continued to whisper as his brain struggled to comprehend why his body had--and still was– betraying him so horribly.

His cock throbbed, hot and hard in his pants. The flesh of his hip felt like it was on fire from the touch of those graceful fingers. Lust still coiled heavy in his gut and the base of his cock. Little shivers of after effects of pleasure kept tingling down his spin. For a kiss, it had been fairly chaste. There had been no tongue involved (thank God!), just the rough press of lips. But, oh shit, that kiss. Even without tongue it was the best kiss he'd ever had. That was even over all the girls he'd ever kissed, which was quite a few. Any guy with his good looks would be stupid not to use them to his advantage. Well, he most certainly had, but none of those girls came anywhere close to being as good at giving the kind of kiss he just received. He didn't know why. The feel of Umeda's lips had been different. Instead of dainty and sweet, the older man's lips had been strong and spicy. There was no soft perfume, only the unique masculine scent that clung to Umeda's skin. The press of their bodies together and the long fingered hand on his jaw...

His mind began to shriek in dismay as he remembered it all once more.

The hard press and friction of another erect cock against his own.

He sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. He felt sick to his stomach. His erection still throbbed heavily, he realized in disgust. Without another thought, he began to strip off his clothes as he raced for the bathroom. He threw back the shower curtain and switched on the cold water. He dived under the icy water barely managing to keep from falling over on the water slick floor. His only thought was to get rid of the terrible result of what that kiss had done to him. He leaned against the shower wall and made himself not think of anything as the freezing water shriveled up any evidence of arousal. He stayed in there for a long time trying to block it all out.

/////////

Umeda was having a freak out moment of his own. He sat in his car gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. His breath was still coming fast while the feel of Shizuki's lips seemed branded onto his own. Really though, it had been the perfect fit of their bodies that had gotten to him. It was the way the boy's hips had molded so unwillingly against him and the feel of his erection growing impossibly against his own. He certainly hadn't expected that kind of reaction. Nor the exact same way Shizuki's knees had buckled like his had so long ago under Ryoichi's kiss. It was the weirdest sort of deja vu. Worse, it had felt so unexpectedly, unbelievably good. His dick twitched in agreement.

"Shit," he groaned, rubbing his hand over it.

He'd been attracted to some very strange guys in the past. For fuck's sake he was in love with Ryoichi. The one question that kept surfacing after all these years was why did his body respond best to straight, unobtainable guys? At first, he'd thought only of Ryoichi. Then they'd gone their separate ways out of high school, though they still met up. Umeda had met another straight guy, an exchange student from England, in college who had captured his attention and attraction. He never wavered in his love for Ryoichi, but he'd be celibate for the rest of his life if he tried to save himself for the darkly handsome man.

This new guy, Rylan, had figured out easily what Umeda's interest was in him, but he hadn't freaked out. He said he was very accepting of gays, but had no interest in being one himself. Better yet, he had still hung out with Umeda. They got to be very good friends. One night, a year after they had met, they had both gotten rather drunk in Umeda's dorm room. To the surprise of the then aspiring to be doctor, the conversation had turned to gay sex. Rylan had been very curious about the whole mechanics of the act and if it really felt as good as the gays claimed. Umeda had found it funny at the time and willingly answered all his questions with frank honesty. The doctor remembered fondly how big Rylan's eyes had gotten when he explained how much he loved being penetrated. He'd never forget the surprise he'd felt when he'd looked down to see the other young man's erection straining against his pants.

"If you're so interested how about you do me?" Umeda had asked with a smirk. Alcohol always made him bold and horny. To his shock, the guy had agreed as long as he wasn't made to play bitch. Umeda had acquiesced; more than willing to take it if it meant getting sex. He had stood up and moved over to where Rylan was lounging on his bed. He had dropped to his knees, slid his hands up the guy's thighs, unzipped his pants, and proceeded to blow Rylan's mind into oblivion. He had gotten very good at that particular skill. His lover of the night had come more quickly than he'd meant to much to his embarrassment. Umeda had soothed his worries with deep kisses and had gotten Rylan hard again in minutes.

He remembered reaching out blindly for the bedside table while Rylan explored the new territory of male body that was straddling him. His hand had yanked ruthlessly at the little drawer that held his lube. A gay sex fiend always had lube stashed near by. Condoms were not something he cared for, despite the risks involved. He was to buzzed on alcohol to care about preparing himself. He rubbed a generous amount of lube on the guy's cock (probably one of the biggest he'd ever seen) and trembled with excitement. He'd stood up, stripped off his pants, and climbed back on to the bed. He turned himself to face away from Rylan before dropping to his stomach and presenting his ass for the taking. He looked back to see the guy licking his lips as he hesitated, while his cock drooled pre-cum onto the sheets.

"Come on," he'd urged. "Do me."

Rylan had dry swallowed, getting to his knees with his cock in his hand, staring at that inviting gorgeous ass in front of him. Then he grabbed Umeda's hip, angling himself just right. Umeda would never forget the feel of that huge, blunt head snuggling against his hole a moment before penetration. He briefly regretted not taking the time to stretch as Rylan began to push in. The first few moments for him were agonizing as he was forcefully stretched more than he'd ever been in his life. The guy's cock felt like it was cleaving him open, but in a deep, perverse way Umeda loved it. Rylan had fucked him out of his mind that night. The guy had pounded into him almost brutally, not even needing to aim for his prostate. His cock struck it every time. He was seeing stars. He'd come twice in the course of half an hour without even a touch to his dick. He'd sobbed in glorious rapture. The pain and gratification had morphed into one blur of ecstasy. He'd never felt that full before or ever since.

He had enjoyed a short, but intense purely sexual relationship with Rylan. When they parted, Rylan went back to dating women while Umeda looked for his next sex buddy. In his mind, straight guys made the best gay guys. Maybe that had really been the start of his obsession with hooking straight men. Maybe it was the thrill of trying to turn their tastes towards him even if only for a little while. Maybe subconsciously he was acting out what he wanted to happen with Ryoichi. Either way they had become his sexual prey of choice. He didn't go after them often. Only when one really caught his eye.

Ashiya Shizuki had indeed caught his interest, but that homophobic attitude grated on his nerves. His personality was so not his type. In fact, he reminded Umeda of Akiha with that pushy attitude. Thinking of that blond made him cringe and think of how narrowly he'd escaped getting involved with him in college. And really if he was smart he'd stay the hell away from Shizuki too from now on. Which wouldn't be hard since the boy doctor was leaving tomorrow back for America. Hopefully, Umeda would never see him again. Better yet, he'd forget how good the blond had felt in his arms and against his body. Or the charged, heated lust that crackled between them in almost palpable waves.

And of course he was wrong.

Hana Kimi

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I don't give a damn, just let me know. LOL. Seriously, if you guys like it I'll keep posting it. I have most of this story written. I seem to have a fetish for alternative pairings where Umeda is concerned. And oh dear God, I was promoting unsafe sex!? Nooo! I'm just going with how I feel the character would behave. Also, the title is from Jack Johnson song, Sitting Waiting Wishing. Anywho, see y'all next chapter.