Title: I'm Alive 1/5
Author: Alyce Gates
Rating: T
Pairing: Dean/Cas
Spoilers: Everything through the end of Season 4 is fair game. I have heard a few spoilers for season 5, but none of them are included in this fic.
Summary: Just another version of what happens after the end of Season 4. A little angst, a little humor, a little romance and a happy ending. ;-)
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, I just like to play with them.
Dedication: This is dedicated to Ashley and Nicola both of whom made this story possible. You two are awesome!
A/N: This is my first Supernatural fic, and my first slash fic, so please be gentle. Title is taken from the Kenny Chesney/Dave Matthews song by the same name.
I'm Alive- Chapter One
Dean Winchester sat cross-legged on the ground outside of the convent. It was late, probably somewhere around two or three o'clock in the morning. His tired green eyes scanned the horizon for some sign of disturbance. Some signal that the end of the world had begun. But other than the sound of insects and the occasional hoot of an owl, all was quiet and still. There was no sign that the devil had broken free of his prison and was now walking the Earth.
He had expected more of a production. The blinding white light had faded to reveal a very ordinary looking man. Though Dean had seen and even spoken to the guy, he couldn't really remember just what he had looked like. The term 'forgettable' kept going through his mind, but that was probably the result of some kind of fallen angel mojo that had been used on him.
No, Dean didn't remember much about 'The Prince of Light', but he did remember how he and Sam had behaved. They had both known who and what Lucifer was, but that didn't seem to stop them from fighting for his attention and approval like two school children wanting to impress their teacher.
Dean groaned and ran a hand down his face in embarrassment as he remembered.
Sam had bragged that he was the one who killed Lilith breaking the last seal and finally setting Lucifer free. Dean then argued that it was he who had come off the rack in Hell torturing that soul and breaking the first seal that had set everything in motion. Then the Winchester brothers had started giving him things. Anything they had on them: cash, credit cards, cell phones, the keys to Ruby's mustang… If Lucifer hadn't stopped them, they would have given him the clothes of their backs.
Sam and Dean were both crying unashamedly with loss as they watched him drive away from the convent. They sat on the ground watching as the car disappeared into the night. For an hour they spoke of what they had witnessed and comforted each other with the thought that no matter how many people or demons might surround Lucifer none had done as much for him as them.
It was about an hour later when Lucifer was well and truly gone from their presence that the 'spell' broke. Sam began to vomit. Dean yelled and cursed God for everything. Then thanked Him for the fact that his beloved Impala was safely at Bobby's. He was unable to hold back a shudder at the thought of that evil bastard driving his baby, because there was no doubt in Dean's mind that he would have willingly given her to him.
When Sam's stomach had been completely emptied, Dean helped him back into the convent. They made themselves as comfortable as possible on an old wooden pew and tried to sleep. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, Sam dropped right off.
But every time Dean closed his eyes he saw Castiel.
"I'll hold him off. I'll hold them all off…"
Giving up on sleep, Dean went outside to get some air.
How had everything gone so horribly wrong? How would he stop Lucifer without Cas' help? Zachariah had told him that stopping Lucifer was his destiny, but how could he possibly do that if just being near the fallen angel made him act like a thirteen year old girl meeting Miley Cyrus?
Dean prayed then. Part of him hoping that when he opened his eyes Cas would be there all pleased that Dean was praying. But he knew better. God remained as silent as always. Though a few hours later as he watched the sunrise Dean could have sworn he sensed a presence with him.
&&&
The fifteen mile walk to the closest town took the better part of the next day. As they walked, Dean alternated between anger at God, the angels and Sam and worry about Castiel… and Sam.
Sam walked slumped over, hanging his head. He was the ultimate picture of defeat. After an hour of walking in silence, the younger Winchester confessed everything. Everything that he and Ruby had done, include draining that poor nurse. It seemed that for the first couple hours Sam couldn't seem to shut up. He babbled all of his sins and kept apologizing as if Dean was the one who could grant him absolution.
"Dude, I can't think about this right now. We have to check in with Bobby and find out what happened to Cas…" Dean stopped when he noticed the tears on Sam's face.
"I can't do this, Dean. I have to… I messed up bad this time. Worse than anything either of us or Dad has ever done. And it's not over. I still have this demon blood in me, and I crave more. I was horrible to you and I… You need to k-kill me, Dean…"
"No."
"B-but-" he broke off when Dean punched him in the face.
Sam fell to the ground a hand coming up to wipe at his now bleeding lip.
Dean's voice was rough but strong when he spoke. "Listen up, cause I'm only gonna say this once. I don't care what you've done, Sammy. Don't care that you screwed up, royally. You're my brother, and nothing you can do or say is gonna make me take you out. Not unless I'm going with you, you got that? So whatever happened… is happening… to you, you gotta get through it, you hear me? Cause I'm not ready to leave this world to the angels and demons, and I gotta have you with me. Understand?"
Sam nodded, tears streaming down his dirty cheeks. "I-I'm s-sorry…"
"And that's enough of that. You and I are good here. Got it?" Dean snapped, grabbing Sam's arm and pulling him roughly to his feet.
Sam nodded again and they resumed their walking.
Dean was still worried and angry, but he couldn't stop the corner of his mouth from lifting at seeing his little brother's back straighten, and his eyes look out in the distance instead of at the ground.
&&&
They reached the impossibly small town of Black Creek, Maryland, population 935 at about three o'clock that afternoon. They were still a block away when Dean caught a sickeningly familiar smell in the air.
"That better not be what I think it is," he groaned.
It was. The brothers walked slowly down Main Street in shock, taking in the carnage around them. The smell was emanating from corpses that littered the streets, sidewalks, shops, and cars all over the town. They found no one alive. Some bodies were bloodied and sporting bruises, but all of them had burnt out holes where their eyes should be.
"Demons," Sam whispered.
"And angels," Dean muttered staring down at large wing-shaped shadows that framed the corpse of young woman lying in the street.
Sam walked over to an empty bench and collapsed onto it. His legs were unable to support him any longer.
Dean joined him after a minute, and they both sighed with a weariness that belonged to much older men.
The unnaturally still silence made Dean so uncomfortable, that he found himself telling Sam everything that had happened to him since they had parted ways in that hotel suite two nights ago. He told his brother about how he'd gotten his ass handed to him by Bobby, and then how Zach and Cas had swept him away into the gilded cage, tempting him with everything from his favorite food and beer to a threesome with Ginger and Mary Anne.
He told Sam of the message he'd left on his cell phone, and became angry when he realized that his message had been changed to push his little brother over the edge.
"Damn, interfering angel assholes!"
"Could've been Ruby," Sam said in half-hearted defense, unable to get angry due to the immense relief he felt at learning that Dean had not actually said those horrible things to him.
Dean continued his story, telling Sam of his conversations with Castiel. He told him of how he didn't think Cas would be swayed, but in the end his angel had come through for him.
Dean's throat grew tight as he said, "Cas risked everything… his life, his Grace, his salvation… But I was too late. It was all for nothing…" he broke off with a cough and turned his head away.
Sam put a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder, the one Castiel had griped tight when the angel had raised him from perdition.
"Everybody was Kung-fu fighting, na na na na na na na na na, those cats were fast as lightening…"
The brother's shared an incredulous look, then followed the sound of the song to the pocket of a dead man slumped on another bench. A cell phone.
The first call Dean made was to Bobby. After the 'Where the hell have you been?' and
'What the hell happened?' were out of the way, the old hunter gave Dean the first good news he'd had all day.
"Ya know that prophet you told me about? Chuck? He's called me a couple'a times lookin' for you. Says he's got your angel and you need to come get him."
"What? Cas is alive?" Dean demanded, feeling a warm burst of hope in his chest. Maybe, it hadn't all been for nothing.
He got the number Chuck left from Bobby and promised to call back as soon as he knew something.
"Be careful, kid. Lucifer's out. Things will only go downhill from here."
The next call was to Chuck.
"Dean! Finally! You gotta get here man, I gotta go. Can't stay here…"
"Chuck! Is Cas… Is he okay?"
"No, I don't know. He's asleep, okay? But you gotta get him ought'a here before the angels come back. I don't know what's gonna happen…"
"What about the archangel?"
"He'sgoneit'sgoneeverythingisgoneandIdon'tknowwhatsgonnahappen…" The prophet rambled, his words all running together.
"Dude, calm down! Cas is alive and the arch angel is gone. Why are you so worried?" Dean demanded, feeling equal parts relief and fear.
"You're not listening, Dean! I don't know what is going to happen!"
Dean shook his head, failing to grasp the significance of that statement.
Sam, who had been able to hear the most of the conversation, grabbed the phone from his brother.
"Chuck! Do you mean the visions have stopped? You're not a prophet anymore?" He asked, and Dean's eyes widened with realization.
"If he's not a prophet, then he won't be protected by the archangel anymore," Sam told him, covering the speaker on the phone with his hand.
Dean took the phone back.
"We'll be there by noon tomorrow," Dean promised and hung up.
They made quick work looting the town, taking all of the cash, credit cards, and cell phones they could find. They then doused all of the stores, and corpses with salt and gasoline.
As they drove away in a green Jeep Cherokee, that had had the keys in the ignition, they could see the smoke and flames of the burning town in the rear view mirror.
They had been too late to save the town of Black Creek, but at least souls of its citizens would be free to rest in peace.
&&&
It was nearly midnight the next night before Dean finally pulled up in front of Chuck's house alone. They'd barely left Black Creek behind before Sam had started freaking out.
"You gotta lock me up Dean, fast. It was bad last time, but I know it's gonna be much worse this time."
Reluctantly he had driven straight to Bobby's and gotten his little brother situated in the panic room.
Dean hated leaving him behind, but as Bobby and even Sam himself had pointed out, there really wasn't anything he could do to help. They just had to wait it out.
As Dean walked up to the door he noticed that the station wagon in the driveway was packed with what looked like everything the writer owned.
Chuck opened the door before Dean could knock. The prophet leaned out from the door frame and searched the dark, empty streets to the right and left. Dean arched a brow at him.
Satisfied that they were alone, Chuck grabbed Dean by the collar and yanked him inside.
"Whoa, take it easy dude," Dean said, brushing the shorter man's hands away.
"You said noon! Its midnight! I almost… I was only gonna give you 'til sunrise."
He followed Chuck down a hall, pausing to take in the chaos that was the living room. It looked like a hurricane had gone through it.
Dean was led into a back room and there was Castiel, sleeping on a bed. He was still wearing the trench coat, suite and tie. His shoes had been removed though.
"He's all yours, have a nice life," the prophet said and turned on his heel to leave.
"What? Wait a second! What's wrong with him? What happened Chuck?"
Chuck sighed and turned back around. "When you blinked out, everything got bright and loud. And then suddenly it was all gone. And he was just lying on the floor, asleep like that. I don't know what happened, he hasn't woken up and I can't wake him. All I know is that I can't stay here any longer. You probably shouldn't hang around long either."
Dean peered closely at the figure on the bed.
"Angels don't sleep. That must be Jimmy," Dean said finally, feeling a rush of disappointment.
He placed a hand on the man's forehead. It was warm, but not feverish.
"Jimmy? You in there?" Dean called softly, tapping his cheek in an effort to rouse him.
The man let out a groan and his head turned toward Dean, but his eyes remained closed.
"Huh. I sloshed ice water on his face and didn't get so much as a flinch…" Chuck said, and then lowered his eyes when Dean shot him a glare.
The hunter picked up Jimmy's shoes and tossed one to Chuck.
"Help me get him to my car, then you can go," He said in voice that allowed no room for argument.
Jimmy's eyes flickered open and he mumbled something when they had him upright. Dean supported him on one side while Chuck got the other.
"What was that?" Dean asked, shaking him slightly.
He mumbled again.
"I think he said, 'Dean'," Chuck said.
"Yeah, it's Dean, Jimmy. You're gonna be okay," He promised and started to walk but the man started mumbling again. This time, the hunter understood.
"Jimmy's gone…"
"Jimmy's gone? Cas? Is that you-"
"Need to leave…now…" Castiel groaned, and Dean almost dropped him he was so relieved.
Whatever strength had been keeping Cas conscious left suddenly and he slumped and became dead weight.
It was awkward, and they nearly dropped him twice but eventually they got him into the passenger seat of the impala.
Chuck refused to say where he was headed, but promised to answer his cell if called.
Dean yawned as he watched the prophet drive away. There was no way he could make it all the way to Bobby's without getting some sleep first.
He drove for an hour with the windows down and Metallica blasting before pulling into a Sleep Inn. He left Castiel in the car while he checked in and was lucky enough to get a room on the bottom floor. Stairs were just not feasible at this time.
"Cas? C'mon I can't drag you in there on my own, you gotta help."
Cas, leaning heavily on Dean, was able to make it into the room without incident. The hunter barely got him to one of the beds before the angel fell unconscious again. By that point, Dean had just enough presence of mind to check in with Bobby before collapsing on the second bed, exhausted.
The dream started right away…
He was back in his office or the office that could have been his had he not been a hunter. It was the place where he had first met Zachariah. The creepy angel in the middle-aged vessel was currently sitting behind the desk in the large leather chair, gesturing for Dean to sit in one of the smaller, less comfortable chairs across from him. The hunter ignored it.
"What did you do to Cas?" Dean demanded, wasting no time.
Zachariah shrugged and leaned back in the chair, hands crossed in his lap. "Nothing. He chose to disobey. He did this to himself."
Dean clenched his teeth to keep from cussing. As angry as he was, he still had the sense to know that pissing the angel off was not going to get him the answers that he needed.
"Okay, you didn't do it, but something was done to him. What was it?"
Zachariah chuckled at the hunter's barely restrained anger. "You're funny, Dean. I must admit, I never expected you to be so entertaining," he teased.
Dean growled and the smile dropped off of the angel's face.
"Castiel has shown that he serves the whims of man over the orders of heaven. He directly influenced events in an attempt to contradict prophecy. Due to his betrayal our prophet has lost his fore-knowledge and has been forced into hiding. By all rights under heaven the archangel should have executed him!"
Dean had never seen the angel so ruffled.
"Why is Cas still alive then?" He asked, voice cracking slightly.
Zachariah looked at the ground and took a breath to calm himself. He had his nonchalant, devil-may-care smirk in place when he looked back up.
"Castiel is alive because I stopped the archangel from killing him."
Dean nodded, his gaze wary. "Right. And why would you do that?"
"Because, despite everything, it is still your destiny to be heaven's champion. You are the one who is to defeat Lucifer. That prophecy has not, and will not be contradicted."
"I'm not gonna-"
"Wait," Zachariah interrupted, holding up a hand. "Before you speak, keep in mind that your cooperation is directly linked to Castiel's fate."
"What?" Dean demanded. He wasn't slow. He knew he was being blackmailed. Blackmailed by an angel of the Lord. What had the world come to?
"All I have to do is give the command and the archangel will come swooping down to finish what he started."
"What? What did the archangel do? Why is Cas sleeping and what happened to Jimmy?" Dean was sick of all the run around. He needed answers.
"I guess you could say that Castiel is losing something."
From under his shirt the angel pulled out a vial holding what looked like a very small amount of incandescent white fluid that was tied on a leather string around his neck. A slow small drip of liquid accumulated every minute.
"Is that… Cas' grace? You took his grace?" Dean asked, hoarsely.
"Castiel, like so many before him, has well and truly disobeyed. Why Dean, you might even say that he is falling for you!" Zachariah had a nice chuckle over his own joke.
Dean was unable to take his eyes off of the vial.
"So he's… He's human?"
"Almost. He's got three, maybe four more hours before the transformation will be complete," the angel confirmed, tucking the vial back under his shirt.
"Soon, he'll be human-like with no more abilities than that of a mortal man. Something he's never experienced before, I'm sure it will be quite entertaining to watch how he adjusts," the last part was said more to himself than Dean, who was in slight shock over this revelation.
"If nothing else, it should keep you occupied and out of our hair until you are needed. It's one of the only reasons I spared his life actually…"
Dean scrubbed a hand over his face, overcome with guilt for his part in Castiel's fall. He hadn't meant for this to happen. He just wanted to save Sam. And now an angel had fallen... for him.
Zachariah continued as if nothing was wrong.
"Castiel should sleep until his soul has adjusted to the size of his new form. Be glad he's unconscious; I hear the process is very painful. Most of the fallen choose to be reborn through a human mother rather than suffer the pain of joining fully with their vessel while having their grace extracted."
"And Jimmy?" Dean asked as he looked up and met the angel's gaze again.
"Jimmy Novak's soul was released by Castiel before the archangel attacked. But don't be too hard on him. Jimmy would have been driven mad by the pain of the transformation and Castiel would have been unable to shield him from it."
A look of what might have been regret quickly flashed across the angel's face, but it was gone so quickly Dean was sure he must have imagined it.
"Poor bastard," Dean whispered and Zachariah shook his head.
"Don't worry about Jimmy. He's resting in a much better place knowing that he has played his part in heaven's plan."
Dean tilted his head at that.
"Heaven's plan? Not God's?"
When Castiel first introduced himself to Dean, he had called himself an angel of the Lord. But none of the other angels the hunter had met had ever spoke of God.
Zachariah was quiet for a minute. He looked a bit taken aback by Dean's question.
"No Dean. It's been over two thousand years since God has spoken to anyone," the angel admitted, looking almost surprised at his confession.
"That you know of," Dean taunted, desperate to gain the upper hand..
The smirk on the angel's face grew into a cold grin.
"All I have to do is say the command and your angel will be lost to you forever,"
Zachariah warned again.
Dean was filled with anger, and had he been alone he probably would have put a fist through the wall. But the angel was waiting for a response and the hunter knew that, at the moment, the angel was holding all of the cards.
"What do I have to do?" He asked, sounding as defeated as he felt.
"When the time is right, you kill Lucifer. Until then, do as you wish. Lie low, detox little brother, and play with your new fallen friend… When you get bored with that you can go back to hunting demons, heaven knows there'll be plenty about. And when the time is right, we'll come for you and take you to Lucifer. And you will kill him. And the world will end. And you will move on to your great reward in heaven. That's it. Doesn't seem like much to ask."
Dean sank down into one of the chairs, unable to remain standing any longer. Zachariah ignored him, running his hands along the arms of his own chair, a covetous expression crossing his face.
"What happens if I tell you to take 'Heaven's Plan' and shove it up your ass?"
The angel glared at him but didn't seem surprised by the question.
"You always have to push don't you?"
Dean shrugged.
"Fine. Refuse and Castiel will die. And he won't be the last. We'll kill Sam, Bobby, any of your other hunter-friends the demons haven't gotten yet. And don't even think of killing yourself. We'd just bring you back."
"If the world ends, they'll die anyway," Dean pointed out.
"Yeah, but it'll be quick. And things will be much nicer on the other side for all of you. If we kill them, well there's no guarantee that they'll end up in a better place. And Castiel definitely won't regardless…"
"And if I agree, you'll leave us alone? Me, Sam, Bobby, and Cas?"
"Until the time comes, I swear that no angel of heaven will come near you and yours," the angel said, holding up two fingers like a boy scout.
Dean didn't trust Zachariah, but he didn't see a lot of options. The top priority was to get Cas to Bobby's. Then get Sam well. After that, they'd come up with something, or die trying.
"Fine. I'll do it."
Zachariah smiled coldly.
"I thought as much."
The angel reached two fingers across the desk and touched Dean's forehead.
Dean gasped and opened his eyes back in the cheap motel room. He sat up in the bed and rubbed at his eyes sleepily. The red glow of the alarm clock reminded him that Cas only had a few hours left before he would be… changed.
As he watched, Castiel began to thrash and moan. So much for sleeping through it…
End Chapter