A young woman passed out on the train and Jane sighed deeply, checking her watch. She was already late anyways. She hated that her sense of duty, of compassion, occasionally gave way to selfish concerns. To feeling too tired. Spent.
But no one else was coming forward to help, and she couldn't just leave the woman to fend for herself.
Shoving through the crowded, overheated train car, she stepped onto the platform and raised her badge. The transit worker checking the girl smiled grimly and handed the young woman over.
"I'll call a medic," the worker mumbled, scooting away.
"I'm Jane," she told the shaken young woman. "What's your name?"
"Kate," the girl mumbled, her pupils dilated and forehead covered in sweat.
Kate was medium height, slender but voluptuous. Her dark hair fell wildly across her eyes. When she pushed it back absently with one hand, Jane noticed how unbelievably blue her eyes were. She looked like she might be anywhere between thirty and thirty five, but her skin was so smooth and well cared for that it made it difficult to tell.
"Nice to meet you Kate," Jane smiled softly. "We're just gonna come right over here and take a seat, ok?"
Jane helped the barely lucid young woman over to a bench, grateful when a young mother with her arms full of toddlers and toys handed her a bottle of cold water.
Seated on the bench in front of a large fan, the woman seemed to come back to herself some.
"Can I drink a little of that?" she asked, nodding her head towards the bottle.
"Of course," Jane assured, cracking it open and handing it to her. Jane didn't let go of the bottle until she was sure Kate could handle it and she was startled at the way their fingers touching sent a jolt through her.
Kate took a long, grateful sip of the water, wiped her brow, and frowned.
"Well this is embarrassing," she scoffed.
Jane couldn't help but grin.
Something about the other woman was enchanting, enticing. Even sweaty and dehydrated she was gorgeous.
Jane pushed the thoughts aside violently.
"It happens to the best of us," Jane shrugged.
"Ah, so you're the best of us?" Kate's lips turned up in the corner. Jane's stomach flipped.
"Not even close," Jane laughed. "It's nothing to be ashamed about. It's hot as hell. Coulda happened to anyone."
"But why me?" Kate whined playfully. "I just feel like such a dummy. It's been a long day and I probably should have had more water to drink but… it's just so easy to get distracted, I suppose."
Two medics, looking sweaty and worn thin, rounded the corner and approached them.
"Great," Kate groaned. "Now I get to be fussed over by people who should be out actually saving lives."
Jane pursed her lips together to quell the laughter bubbling up.
After a brief inspection, Kate was declared healthy but dehydrated. She was hilarious, intelligent, quick-witted. She laughed and teased as the medics looked her over and the change in their demeanor was astounding. The medics offered her a ride to the hospital and she politely declined.
"I'm going to get a taxi and go home and curl up to die from embarrassment," she shook her head self-deprecatingly. "But thank you so much for your help."
The medics, suddenly in higher spirits, departed.
Jane wondered how Kate's very presence could make someone so happy. Then she realized that she was still sitting next to the woman, for no real reason, and was happy to be there.
She was also late.
So very, very late.
But happy.
The realization made her uneasy.
"Well," she wiped her sweaty palms on her pants before standing. "I should probably get going."
Kate stood as well and Jane watched closely for any unsteadiness. The woman seemed tired, hot, but recovered enough to make it home.
"Thank you for your trouble," Kate smiled. "I'll probably be recovering from the embarrassment for weeks but somehow, because of you, I don't feel nearly as sorry about this as I should."
Jane's stomach did a funny flip again.
Kate offered her hand and Jane accepted.
"No trouble at all," Jane shrugged. "I didn't do anything."
"Stopping at all is more than most people," Kate shot back.
Jane couldn't deny that.
"Let me make it up to you," Kate continued. "Let me buy you a drink."
"Oh no," Jane hedged. "That's not necessary."
"It might not be necessary," Kate smiled, wide bright teeth flashing, and Jane's resolve weakened. "But I want to. It's the least I can do."
Jane hesitated.
"Please," Kate softly squeezed her hand and Jane realized that she hadn't released the other woman's grip yet.
"Ok," Jane responded, before her brain could catch up with her mouth. "I'd like that."
"Great," Kate released Jane's hand and fished through her purse, pulling out a business card. "Call me and we'll make something work."
"Ok," Jane nodded, gripping the card in her hand. "Sounds good."
"I promise not to pass out next time," Kate laughed, winking.
A parade of butterflies wreaked havoc in Jane's stomach.
"I'll hold you to that," Jane managed, surprised her voice worked through the sandpaper in her throat.
Their eye contact lingered until Jane caved and looked away, suddenly feeling like passing out herself.
"Do you want me to get you a cab?" she offered, just for the sake of having something to say.
"I think I can manage," Kate smiled easily. "All evidence to the contrary."
Jane laughed and nodded.
"I'll call you then," she replied.
"I hope you do," Kate responded.
And then she was gone and Jane was left standing on the train platform, Kate's business card in hand. She was startled out of her trance when the next train pulled into the station and passengers alighting from the cars jostled her awake.
Glancing at her watch, she cursed under her breath.
"Shit."
Her mother was going to kill her.
"You're late," the judgment was out of her mother's mouth before Jane had even shut the door.
"But I've got a good excuse!" Jane assured.
"Let's hear it," Frankie challenged.
Jane barely resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him.
"Please sit, Jane," Maura encouraged. "We waited for you."
"I told you not to!" Jane protested. "I texted all of you."
"Family dinner," Angela countered. "That means the family eats dinner together. Now sit down and let us eat."
"I'm sorry," Jane apologized, sliding into her seat next to Maura.
"I'm sorry," Tommy mimicked in a high-pitched voice. "She's sitting already, can we eat?"
Maura was trying to keep a smirk off her face.
"So, it's ok to eat now?" Frost asked.
"Yes," Angela nodded. "You may eat now, Barry."
Frost and Frankie eagerly served themselves heaping portions of the rapidly cooling meal. Korsak more politely passed the dishes to others at the table.
"I see that smirk," Jane whispered to Maura. "Cut it out."
"I'm not smirking," Maura lied, her smile breaking free when she spoke. "I just greatly enjoy the delicate, familial interplay between you and your mother."
"Shut up," Jane teasingly smacked Maura's thigh under the table. Maura grabbed Jane's hand lightly and neither woman let go, their joined hands resting on Jane's leg.
Jane had become adept at serving herself with one hand while she held Maura's other hand under the table. If anyone else noticed, they hadn't said anything.
It felt natural, and Jane never thought too much about it. She liked the contact, the way it grounded her, the delicate smoothness of Maura's hand in contrast to her own rougher, calloused palms.
"So let's hear it," Frankie tested. "What's this great excuse you got?"
Jane shot daggers at him with her eyes.
"A girl passed out on the T," she said around a mouthful of potatoes. "So I stayed with her until the medics came."
"That's quite chivalrous of you," Maura replied, voice cutting through the cacophonous questions and comments from the rest of the table. "I hope she was alright."
"She's fine," Jane nodded. "No worse for the wear. Just a bit of heat stroke. Gets hot as hell down there on the T."
"Surprised no metro PD were there," Korsak offered. "Sounds like they were asleep on the job, as usual."
"Eh," Jane shrugged. "Not like it was a real big emergency or anything."
"Well, that was nice of you," Angela's approval floated over. "That poor girl."
"I mean," Jane spoke before thinking. "She wasn't like a kid or anything. She was a woman."
All eyes narrowed on her for adding such an odd, unnecessary detail.
"Was she hot?" Tommy asked.
"Yeah, I guess," Jane shrugged.
All movement at the table stilled. An awkward silence filled the room.
"What?" Jane stammered. "So?"
"It's just uh," Frankie stuttered. "We uh, no that's, it's you know-"
"That's lovely," Angela cut him off. "It was so nice of you to stop. Very selfless."
"I mean," Jane again spoke without thinking. "I got something out of it too."
Silence reigned again. Jane wondered if she could have a filter installed between her brain and her mouth. Hers was clearly missing.
"What does that mean?" Frost finally asked.
"She's buying me a drink," Jane studied her food intently.
"Like a date?" Frankie pressed.
"I don't know," Jane shrugged.
"That's a date!" Tommy exclaimed gleefully.
Maura's hand slid out of Jane's under the table.
"Holy shit!" Frankie yelled.
"Frankie," Angela chided. "Watch your mouth."
"Seems like Janie's the one who's gonna have to watch her mouth," Tommy leered.
"Gross!" Frankie replied, smacking Tommy's arm.
"Guys," Jane yelled, silencing them all. "Can you please shut up about this?"
"Don't get us wrong," Frankie piped up. "We're thrilled for you. When you told us you might, you know, be gay or whatever, we just didn't expect you to… be so ok with it."
"I'm fine with it," Jane bit. "Although I'm regretting my decision to share that fact with you idiots."
"Ah, come on," Tommy laughed. "You got a hot date! We're happy for you!"
"Jane," Angela's soothing voice interrupted. "We think it's wonderful. We just want you to be happy."
"Yeah," Korsak agreed. "We're glad you're happy."
Maura's silence crept up Jane's spine like a spider.
She wanted to shiver, shake it off, make it stop.
"Yeah," Frost added. "I'm really happy for you, Jane."
"Thanks," Jane muttered.
"Yes," Maura finally spoke. She sounded like she was giving a rehearsed speech at a middle school play. "We're all very happy for you. I'm sure she's lovely."
Jane scrubbed her hands over her face. Taking a deep breath, she surveyed the grinning idiots at the table. Deep down, she knew they only wanted the best for her. She just sometimes wished they could want the best for her from a little further away, and with more silence and less talking.
"Ok," she swallowed harshly. "Thank you for your… encouragement. I appreciate how supportive you all are. But I would really, really like to not talk about this anymore."
"Of course," Frost nodded. He launched immediately into a story about how Korsak ripped his pants chasing a perp over backyard fences.
Korsak jumped in to defend his honor and soon the table was awash in laughter, loud voices, and the love Jane knew she wouldn't trade for anything in the world.
Maura quietly excused herself from the table a few minutes later. Angela caught Jane's eye over the table and furrowed her brow in a silent question.
Jane shrugged and Angela raised her eyebrows in challenge. Jane hated her mother's uncanny ability to read you and pressure you with just the look on her face.
"Fine," Jane mouthed silently. "I'm going!"
Angela nodded her approval.
Jane slipped away from the table and towards the guest bathroom. She was surprised to see it was empty, door ajar. She moved into the kitchen, her concern growing when that too was vacant.
Then she noticed that the back door was cracked open and she peeked outside.
In one corner of the small yard was an oversized porch swing and Maura was seated there, her eyes unfocused.
Jane grabbed a sweatshirt off the pegs behind the door and opened the door quietly. Maura turned, jarred by the soft sound. She took a deep breath and eyed Jane warily before fixing her eyes on the ground.
"Hi," Jane approached hesitantly, unsure what had inspired such an odd turn of events in her friend. "Um, here."
She held out the sweatshirt and Maura grasped it, laying it carelessly across her lap.
"Can I," Jane indicated the seat. "Is it ok if I sit?"
"Of course," Maura nodded, though it was clear she had no desire for Jane to join her.
"Is everything ok?" Jane blurted, not knowing how else to proceed.
"Why wouldn't it be?" Maura countered uncharacteristically.
Jane couldn't remember the last time Maura refused to tell her when something was wrong.
"Well," Jane bit her lip. "Maybe because you're out here sitting by yourself in the cold during the middle of family dinner?"
"You're quite the detective," Maura sighed sardonically.
Jane's brow furrowed. The words sounded accusatory, but Maura's voice sounded defeated.
"Did I do something?" she asked.
Maura's response took far too long for Jane's liking.
"No," Maura shook her head. "You didn't do anything."
Jane felt the frustration welling up inside herself.
"Did someone else do something?" she tried.
"No," Maura replied softly. "I'm fine."
"Clearly you're not fine," Jane retorted. "Please, tell me. You know you can tell me anything."
"Right now," Maura exhaled harshly. Her fingers picked idly at Jane's sweatshirt. "I just want to sit."
"Ok," Jane stood.
Maura looked up at her, all dark watery eyes and trembling lips. Jane felt a pain in her chest that Maura's medical jargon would have defied.
"And there's nothing I can do?" Jane attempted one last time.
"You could," Maura looked down at her hands. "You could sit with me."
Jane's brows furrowed. She wanted to yell. To push. To force Maura to tell her what was wrong and then go out immediately and fix it.
"Of course," Jane said instead. Gingerly she resumed her place at Maura's side, startled when Maura scooted imperceptibly closer to her. Jane reached over and spread the sweatshirt more effectively across Maura's lap. She rested her hands in her own lap, tangling her fingers together to resist the urge to fidget.
Maura leaned her head on Jane's shoulder and wordlessly slid a hand between Jane's. Jane gripped her hand firmly, tenderly.
She had the feeling that she was holding onto Maura through that tether, and that tether alone. She was afraid that if she shifted, breathed too heavily, or god forbid let go… Maura would simply drift away.