Almost Like a Romcom
AN: Hey there~. My old Johnkat fanfiction REALLY SUCKED, oh gog, it hurts to look at it now. _' So now that I actually can write, I'm going to try again…
Also, you should know that this fanfiction takes place 6 months after the game ended and now all the humans (alpha and beta) as well as the trolls are on Earth (or a new planet, I don't really know)… Also, each of the trolls have their own house unless they live together~ Rated M for language and other suggestive topics such as self-harm, suicide, abuse and maybe some lemons later on? We'll see ;) But I'm best at writing fluff sooooo… yeah!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK OR THE CHARACTERS, THEY ALL BELONG TO ANDREW HUSSIE!
Chapter 1: Ten Things I Hate About You
A troll, dressed in a black turtle neck bearing the zodiac symbol for cancer paced around in his living room, cursing under his breath. His stopped walking for a moment to turn and look at the foot of his couch. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS MY APPARENTLY DETORATING THINK PAN TRYING TO PULL?" Karkat commented on his huge stack of pillows he had thrown on the floor. He had no idea was he was thinking by doing that, there was absolutely no reason for it. Comfort? The couch was right there, idiot and it was just as plump as a puppet rump. And no, it wasn't that the pillows weren't plush, they were just too plush. A large pile of pillows wasn't exactly the most casual thing to sit in anyway. Karkat, fed up with his idiocy, decided to just stop his mumbling and put away the damn pillows. As he bent down to gather the multitudes of fluff filled sacks, a knock echoed from his front door, "OH FUCK." Karkat stood up, leaving the pillows that were doomed to remain by the couch and grudgingly, he turned the knob to his door.
On the other side of the now agape door, stood a human boy with quite the animated expression stamped across his face. "OH MY GOG, JOHN. DID YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME OUTSIDE MY DOOR WITH THAT INCREDIBLY STUPID EXPRESSION? COULDN'T YOU AT LEAST ACT NORMAL?"
"i am acting normal karkat! you're supposed to be happy when you go to a bro's house!" John smiled and held up a plastic bag from a grocery store. "plus i brought movies!"
"I CAN SEE THAT."
"so… are you going to let me inside?" John attempted to peek around Karkat's shoulder.
"IF YOU INSISIT," Karkat stepped aside in order to let John inside. The human giggled as he enter, and immediately let his gaze fall to the pillow mound on the floor.
"heh, karkat? what's this for?"
"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. I JUST THREW A SHITLOAD OF PILLOWS ON THE GROUND."
"really? you're so silly karkat~"
"YOU ARE WEIRD, EGBERT."
"so are you, vantas." John grins and Karkat sighs at this, but then John quickly plops down into the pillows. "mmm, it's really fluffy and comfy!"
"WELL THEY ARE PILLOWS DUMBY, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SOFT." Karkat said as he continued to stand, looking down at the human. John then patted the space next to him.
"come on karkat, you sit down too!" John beckoned him and sighing, Karkat sat down on the other side of the pile. John kept smiling and shoved his hand into the bag, pulling out a DVD case. "i brought con air!" John cooed, holding his favorite movie in front of Karkat.
"NO. JOHN. I AM NOT WATCHING THAT MOVIE. NOT EVER."
"aw, come on karkat! please? for me?"
"WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?"
"because we're bros!"
"DON'T CALL US BROS."
"then what else am I supposed to call us?"
"ACQUAINTANCES."
"aw, karkat, we're friends!"
"UGH, WHATEVER."
"so can we watch the movie? you haven't even seen it yet, so you can't say it's bad!"
"FINE. I'LL WATCH YOU'RE AWFUL HUMAN MOVIE," Karkat crossed his arms and leaned back into the pillows.
"yay!" John giggled once again and proceeded to set up the movie. Once the DVD was ready, John scooted back onto the pillows. "now be sure to pay good attention to the best movie you'll ever see!"
"OH, I'M SURE THIS MOVIE OUT DOES EVER OTHER FILM EVER CREATED BY HUMAN OR TROLL KIND."
"it is!"
"JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME WATCH IF YOU WANT ME TO WATCH."
"heh, oh alright!" The human quieted down as the picture began. Karkat was immediately uninterested in Con Air. The movie was not his style at all and he didn't care for the action flick in anyway. However, John seemed extremely intrigued into what was his favorite movie. The troll sighed and hunched over, resting his cheek on his fist.
"HOW LONG IS THIS TRAINWRECK IDEA OF A FILM?"
"it's only two hours, now shh!"
"UGH…" Karkat groaned and slumped back, staring at the ceiling.
More than half through the movie, Karkat turned to stare at John now who was sitting comfortably snuggled in the pillows, eyes glued to the TV. The boy was so easily excited, the movie clearly sucked and even though he knew it himself, John insisted on calling it his favorite movie. As Karkat glared at his "friend" his eyes wandered to his huge smiled across his face. His buck teeth just added to the overall dorkiness of his dumb grin. God, he was such an oblivious idiot. It hurt to look at the Heir of Breath. The troll hated him so much… so so much… right? Then why, for the love of God, did he invite this injudicious fool to his hive to watch movies? It wasn't because they were friends, because they were definitely not. It wasn't because he wanted to spend time for this human he actually cared for, because there was no way in hell that was true, right?