Disclaimer: Not mine, they're Ally Carter's and Katy Perry's, I'm just borrowing them.
Thinking of You
Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection. Like an apple hanging from a tree, I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed.
I woke up to find his arms around my waist. For a moment, I thought that they were yours; I always do. Still pretending they were, I inhaled the imaginary scent of you that's still fresh in my mind and I snuggled closer to Sean.
You said move on, where do I go? I guess second best is all I will know.
The first time I saw you after that night you told me that you moved on and I would as well. I didn't know how you knew that I wasn't over you. I was, well still am one of the best at keeping my emotions in check but somehow you saw right past it, I guess you always could. I had many tubs of chocolate mint ice-cream and many one night stands after you left but nothing helped fill the empty black hole that was my heart. I knew that no one could be as amazing as you and that I'd have to settle for second best.
Because when I'm with him I am thinking of you, thinking of you. What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night.
Sean and I had met during an undercover assignment in Spain. He took an interest in me right away, I on the other hand couldn't open myself up. After a while I grew found of him. I still thought; think of you all the time. Sean knows that I don't have the same feelings for him as he does for me but somehow he's okay with it. I still call out your name sometimes and although he's never spoken to me about it I know he's heard me. I think about us mostly at night, I think about what we used to do and how much fun we used to have and what it would be like if you were here with me. Then I feel guilty because Sean's a good man and he doesn't deserve this. He deserves someone who's not hung up on a guy she can never be with again.
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes.
I miss when we'd sit around your cabin doing nothing all day. I miss your voice in mourning and I miss how I'd be in your Colombia sweatshirt with no makeup and messed up hair and you'd still look at me like I was the most stunning person in the world. I wish that wasn't so scared of letting you get close back then. I wish that I stopped you before you left and I wish that I could tell you how much I loved you, how much I still do. What I wish most of all though is looking into your beautiful eyes again and seeing the love that you felt for me, the love that I still feel for you. Yes, I love you Joseph Solomon I always have and I always will, until the day I die.
A.N What can I say? It was a boring day at school today, well more boring then usual. I had this song stuck in my head and read an Abby FanFic before school this mourning so it's not my fault, don't blame me, blame my muse. There needs to be more stories in the Abby section. Any mistakes that you see are mine since I did not get my Beta to correct this. Anyways, thanks for reading and please review.