Uh... I have a twisted mind. That's all I have to say.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Capcom, unfortunately - I wants them. Well, except Kyrie. They can keep her.

"N-Nero…? Why…? Why did you do this…?"

Nero froze. His heart began to race. Slowly he looked up.

The door was open.

Kyrie stood there, white with shock.

Suddenly he felt hot and cold at the same time. He could feel his face turning red. What was she doing here? She wasn't supposed to be here. She was never meant to see this… How could he even begin to explain to her? Poor, sweet, innocent Kyrie. He knew what this looked like; he could see in her eyes that she didn't understand.

"Wait!" he begged desperately. He turned towards her, shaking his head. "This isn't what you think."

Kyrie stared at him. She was trembling, her large brown eyes filling with tears. The guilt tore through him, making him want to be sick. He watched her beautiful face contort in agony as she began to sob. The look of betrayal she wore broke his heart a thousand times.

"Kid," said a deep voice, making him jump. "This is exactly what she thinks."

Oh, right. He had forgotten about him…

"Damn it Dante," he hissed, frantically pulling the other man's fingers out of his ass. He snatched up the leather trousers from the floor with his Devil Bringer and thrust them at him, jerking his left hand away from the older devil hunter's groin. When Dante just smirked at him, he gave him a rough shove that almost knocked him off the bed.

"N-Nero…?"

Kyrie was still staring, wide eyed, in horror at them. He swiftly pulled the sheets up to cover himself.

"Kyrie, please-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she interrupted, clenching her hands into fists and stamping her feet. Oceans of tears streamed from her eyes, soaking the carpet beneath her. "Nero doesn't love me!" she screamed, shattering the windows with her voice. Her face was all screwed up and red, and suddenly she didn't look so beautiful any more.

"Uh…" said Dante, raising an eyebrow as he used his elbow to prop himself up.

"Wow," added Nero. Of its own accord, his Devil Bringer inched towards Blue Rose, which sat on the bedside table.

Before he could do anything, however, there was a loud bang.

"KYRIE!!!!111!!!!oneleventy!!!!11!!" he bellowed out of habit, watching as she dropped to the floor, limp as a ragdoll. Blood poured from the bullet hole in her head, and her brains were splattered across the wall behind her, slowly dripping down onto the carpet.

"Seriously, Kid, what did you see in here?" Dante snorted. Nero turned to glare at him.

"What did you do?" he demanded, as the other man lowered Ebony.

"Heh, I thought I was doing you a favour…" Dante ran his hand through his silver hair. For the first time in his life, he felt slightly uncomfortable. He didn't much like it.

"Look," Nero shrieked, "at my wall! My Kylie Minogue poster is ruined!"

"Oh." Dante sighed in relief. For a minute there he'd thought he might have to make a run for it. "I'll buy you a new one."

"You'd better," the younger man huffed.

"Now then, Kid," Dante began, grasping Nero by the shoulders and pushing him back down onto the bed.

"Don't call me 'Kid'," Nero snapped, punching him in the chest. Dante rolled his eyes.

"Now then, Nero," he corrected sarcastically. "Where were we?"

"Unf," Nero replied, throwing the cover over them both.

I told ya, I'm not right in the head. But when I put DMC4 in the 360 and let the demo run, my mind took those lines and did bad things with them. Hope you got some sick form of amusement from this. Constructive criticism welcome :)